โI jerk awake from that same damn dream of Derek kissing the woman in the hallway. My eyes fly open to a sunlit roomโa direct contrast of the oppressive hallway. Iโm dragging in breaths like I just ran a mile, and my face is slick with that familiar cold sweat.ย Just a dream.ย I blink at the ceiling as a headache powerful as a bolt of lightning strikes through my brain.ย Oof must keep eyes closed.ย How much did I drink last night?โ
A lot.
Like a lot, a lot.
Lying on my back seems to be intensifying the headache, so I try to roll onto my side. But I canโt because thereโs a tree trunk holding me down. I swing my gaze to the right, and thatโs when I realize Iโm not alone. A man is in my bed. Oh god, not just any man. My ex-boyfriend turned ex-client is asleep beside me.
No, no, no.ย This is bad. Very bad.
Also very warm and snuggly.ย But no! Donโt think like that, Nora!
Derekโs big, heavy arm is draped over my midriff, and I canโt breathe. I give it a momentโs thought and decide I might be okay with being smothered to death so I donโt have to deal with whateverย thisย is.
I reach back into the gin-soaked corners of my mind to figure out what events led to this big mistake. Yikes, it hurts to think. Like pounding, throbbing, stabbing sort of pain. The special brand of agony that follows an entire night of drinking and not eating enough or hydrating.
How does a person know if they have alcohol poisoning? Asking for a friend.
But seriously, how did this happen? I havenโt let go like that sinceโ well, since I was last dating Derek. I should have known better. He always had a way of pulling me into his orbit of fun until Iโm just flying round and round with my hands in the air like I just donโt care.
It appears we obliterated rule number fourteen: No drinking together.
I shut my eyes again and make a squeak of anguish before shoving my arm into Derekโs shoulder. โHey! Wake up, you!โ
He sucks in a breath like he was just resuscitated. โHuh?โ Derek lifts his face long enough for me to see a pillow line slashing down the side of his cheekโalmost making him look approachable rather than his usual hulking Thor vibes.
He groans, shoving his face back into the pillow, but doesnโt remove his arm. The man is sprawled out like an eagle in flight. A shirtless, freakishly toned eagle, and god he is a sight to behold. His body is impeccable. And somehow even more massive-looking with a sheet draped over his lower half. Iโm surprised his arm hasnโt broken my rib cage.
Against my better judgment, my eyes trace the curves and hollows of the muscles lining his shoulders and back. The taut skin spreading over those muscles and the faded black tattoos dotting the expanse of his back and arms. And before I know it, Iโm leaning toward the heat glowing from his body.
Oh my gosh, wait. Is he naked? Am I naked? This whole thing is going to become sixteen times more awkward if we have to be naked together while sober. Itโs been a long time since that phenomenon has occurred with Derek. So long itโs practically like it never happened. Besides, we were young. Inexperienced.
I happen to know that the man lying beside me is not even in the same ballpark as inexperienced anymore. Nothing about him is like the gangly guy who sweetly took my virginity in college. It almost feels like waking up next to a stranger. And yetโฆfamiliar at the same time.
I do a quick pat-down of my body under the sheets, and thankfully, I seem to be fully clothed. Still wearing everything but my shoes. Iโm nervous to peek under the covers at Derek, but I will because Iโm a big girl and can do this.
If I had a breath to spare, I would sigh with relief at the sight of Derekโs dress pants hugging his lower half, but I donโt thanks to his heavy arm. Is it healthy for obliques to be that defined? Iโm not sure youโre supposed to be able to see them while someone sleeps and yet, here we are.
I smack Derekโs boulder-filled arm a few times. โDerek. Move. I canโt breathe!โ
He slides it off like heโs pulling it out of quicksand, and then flops over onto his back. Silence has never been louder as we stare at the ceiling. From the corner of my eye, I see his chestโso tan against the crisp white sheets
โrising and falling. And I glimpse the tattoos there too, although I canโt get a good look at them from this angle. Something with wings for sure.
โAm I in your bed?โ His voice is sandpaper. Sexy,ย sexyย sandpaper. I need to get out of these sheets.
โIt would appear so.โ Silence again. โThatโs not good.โ
โNot good at all.โ I press the heels of my hands against my eyes, trying to relieve the pounding. โWhat do you remember?โ
He groans, apparently feeling as wonderful as I do. โNot much after that first round of shots.โ Like something hits him in the stomach, he jolts up. โOh shit, cover your ears.โ
Derek charges for the bathroom. Unfortunately, hearing his less than graceful consequences of too much alcohol has me catapulting after him.
โMove, move, move!โ I yell as he flushes, and then I take over where he left off.ย Wonderful. Such a glorious morning. A beautiful day in the neighborhood!
The bright bathroom lights are harsh and the very necessary exhaust fan sounds like a jet engine. Derek turns on the sink faucet and leans over to rinse his mouth. I canโt even bring myself to care that heโs witnessing
everything thatโs happening to me right now or that I just witnessed it from him. We are in survival mode. I think I might be crying into the toilet bowl too.
What have I become?
Derek turns off the water and shifts behind me. Iโm too concerned with the state of my stomach to wonder what heโs doing back there until I feel his hands on my neck. My gin-soaked brain thinks he might be on the brink of strangling me to escape any consequences from last night. But noโฆheโs just gathering my hair back and placing a cool cloth against my overheated skin. The sweetness of it doubles my tears.
โWhat are you doing?โ I sit back on my heels and rip off a square of gritty-thin toilet paper and swipe it across my mouth.
โI didnโt want you to get puke in your hair.โ
Now my tears triple. Theyโre fountains, leaking down my face and tasting a little too much like mascara and gin.
Iโm in a daze as I watch Derek find an elastic and then gently work his fingers through my hair, braiding it back until he gets to the end and secures it. All I can do is hold on to the toilet seat with both hands like it is a floatie in the ocean as memories wash over me. So many nights where I would sit in front of him on the couch, eating a bowl of ice cream and cereal while he braided my hair. I taught him how when we first started dating, and he did it as often as possible after that.
I whimper as another bolt of lightning strikes through my brain. โIs this death?โ
โPretty close.โ He presses the cool cloth to my neck once again, and his knuckles graze my skin. โI feel like roadkill. By the way, did weโฆ?โ The way he hesitates to finish that sentence sort of undermines his playboy reputation. He almost sounds embarrassed. โI donโt remember anything and that worries me for a lot of reasons.โ
I cut my eyes down to my fully clothed body, and then peek over my shoulder at his half-naked one. Heโs wearing pants but no shirt. No belt. Justโฆmuscles and the waistband of his black boxer briefs peeking out over the top, andโฆtattoos. Two large beautifully detailed hawks are mirrored
midflight on either side of Derekโs chest. They have broad wings and talons outstretched as if theyโre about to land or pick something up. Like theyโre going right for the center of his sternum where theyโre going to rip his heart out and carry it away. The piece alone is gorgeous, but on Derek with his size and muscles and electric blue eyes, itโs downright chilling.
I swallow down the lump in my throat and turn my face away. โI donโt think anything happened beyond swimming down the river of alcohol.โ
Using the toilet seat to help me stand, I wobble like a baby fawn to the sink so I can dash cold water across my skin and smudge away the mascara from under my eyes. Derek sits on the side of the tub, rests his forearms on his knees, and tracks his eyes down the length of my body like heโs searching for hidden memories. I nearly shiver from the intensity of his gaze. Is he remembering something from last night, or something from years ago?
โI donโt think we did anything besides sleep.โ He drops his head and runs his hands over his face.
For a moment, my gaze lingers on him and a surge of ugly jealousy rises up. I donโt even want to think about how many women have woken up to the sight of this man and tried to lock him down as quickly as possible. Heโs the kind of person you could easily become obsessed withโI know from firsthand experience.
I turn away from Derek and pick up my toothbrush with a plan to rid myself of this dragon breath and then flood my entire system with coffee. Iโll take a shower alone (not sure why I felt like I needed to add theย aloneย part) and then pack all my things and book a flight out this morning instead of waiting to fly back with Derek this afternoon like we planned. Derek asked to dissolve our contract last night because he doesnโt like being around me, or canโt let go of our past, orย whateverโsย me, and then woke up in my bed and held my hair back while I threw up; and none of those events make sense to my organization-loving brain, so Iโm going to run from them as quickly as possible.
โAll right, Pender. We need to get you out of here without anyone noticing. Because if the media were to spot you coming out of my hotel
room, it would spell disaster for both of us.โ โUhโโ
I shove the toothbrush into my mouth and begin a furious teeth cleaning, talking to Derek through the mouth suds. โIn fact, letโs just forget this ever happened, okay? Weโre both grown-ups. No need to make a big stink out of nothing. Most likely you made sure I got back here safely and then toppled onto the bed and passed out with me. No harm, no foul.โ
Derek rubs the back of his neck while staring at me. โIโm not sure weโre going to be able to forget last night quite so easily.โ
I roll my eyes at my own haggard-looking reflection. My hair is a wild mess of auburn tangles, and I have black streaks under my eyes from my mascara. Thereโs only a faint tinge of pink stain where my lipstick used to be.
I know Derek isnโt looking at the woman standing before him and wishing he could have her forever. Not anymore. Instead, heโs thinking he got out in the nick of time.
โDerek, thereโs really no need for you toโโ
He launches off the side of the tub and in two strides is directly behind me. We make eye contact in the mirror and the blacks of his eyes are competing against the blue. His hand moves around me to clasp mine, and in the process, his warm bare chest presses against me. He raises my hand, and my jaw dropsโtoothbrush falling out and hitting the ground with a ceremonial clack.
โIs that?โ Toothpaste is dangerously close to dripping from my mouth, so I lean over quickly and spit before whirling around to face Derek. I hold my hand up between us and he does the same with his.
We stare at each otherโs ring fingers.
โItโs possibleโฆโ he begins with a measured calm, โโฆthat we got married last night.โ