โA dramatic southern accent perks up behind me. โExcuse me, kind sir, could I bother you for an autograph? You see, Iโm your biggest fan in all the world! And it would mean ever so muchโโโ
โWhy the hell arenโt you sleeping?โ I ask Nora as she slips onto the barstool beside me, lookingโฆdamn sheโs so pretty.ย Her hair is all up on her head in a messy bun that drives me literally wild. Sheโs in her same outfit that she changed into at the airport after our flightโbright pink leather sandals, light blue flowy pants, and a white short-sleeve button-down tucked into the high waistline of the pants. I canโt quite describe it, but just looking at her you know she smells goodโsweet and delicious. Like a dream.
She has no business looking this good after the insane day weโve had. We got into Vegas around nine-thirtyย A.M. and were immediately driven to the set of the commercialโwhich took place in a casino. They threw me into an indigo suit that fit me like a glove and the crew shot a few different moody, ritzy-looking scenes of me playing blackjack, roulette, and pool. Turns out, pool is difficult to play in a skintight suit when youโre a person my size. On the last take of the night, the fabric couldnโt handle the strain any longer and split down the back of the jacket.
Other than leaving the jacket behind, I didnโt bother changing when we made it to our hotel, where I deposited Nora at her room and told her Iโd tie her down if she didnโt sleep. We finished filming about elevenย P.M., and
Nora hung on set with me the whole day even though I tried multiple times to get her to go back to the hotel and nap. She wasnโt having it. Sheโs by far the most thorough agent Iโve ever hadโwhich makes it even tougher that Iโve decided to dissolve our contract.
I really donโt want to. Not only do I need a good agent and think sheโd fit the bill perfectly, judging by how she handed me my ass the other night when I was all but giving up on my career, but Iโm dreading letting her out of my life again.
Itโs not like all the pain Iโve been carrying from losing the woman I loved magically disappeared when I learned the truth, but it did take on a new light. I respect Nora for the decision she made for herself. And dammit if respecting her doesnโt make me love her that much more.
In order for me to move on, I canโt be faced with her day in and day out.
Itโll hurt too much.
Nora doesnโt even bother looking guilty for popping up beside me at the bar now. โI tried to sleep. But itโs too noisy.โ
โI can get you some earplugs.โ
She scrunches her nose and wiggles her fingers beside her head. โI mean itโs too noisy in my brain. I canโt stop thinking of all the potential endorsement deals youโd be incredible forโespecially now knowing you can act. What do you think aboutโโ
โNora.โ I interrupt her while looking down at my empty glass. She can hear the change in my voice and knows what Iโm about to say.
Her smile fades. I hate that Iโm the reason for it dimming.
I grip my glass and stare into it as I say the words I know are going to hurt her. โIโฆI canโt do this. I thought I could, but I canโt. I need to dissolve our contract.โ
Thereโs a beat of silence between us where only the sounds of Vegas fill the lull. From the corner of my eye, I see her shoulders rise and fall. โIs itโฆ was Iโฆdid I not do a good job with the commercial?โ
I look sharply at her. โWhat? No. You are incredible at your job and under different circumstancesโฆIโd be lucky to have you.โ Those words felt thick in my mouth. โButโฆโย Damn, I donโt want to say it.ย โBecause of our
history, this is too much for me. Iโm glad we talked the other night and cleared the air. I meant everything I said about understanding your side of things, butโฆโย I canโt get over you.
Her usual smile is nowhere in sight. โYou donโt think with timeโฆ?โ
I laugh once. โItโs been eight years. I think if time was going to fix this, it would have already.โ
I feel like Iโm being pretty transparent here. That sheโs understanding what Iโm saying without me having to say the awkward wordsย Hey, Iโm still in love with you and unless you love me back, we canโt do this because it hurts so damn much to be near you and not have you.
But then she says, โIs itโฆdo youโฆdo you still hate me?โ My heart rips down the middle.
Do I hate her?ย I hate that when your mouth curves into a smile, I canโt kiss it. I hate that you hold my heart in a vise grip and you have no idea. I hate that Iโve never been able to move on from youโnot for a single day. I hate that if I were to tell you all of this, youโd leave, and Iโd be left vulnerable and bleeding out at the bar.
โNo.ย Hateย is not the right word for it,โ I say, because I canโt bring myself to lay my heart out on the line in the middle of a Vegas bar. Itโs time to move on and just let her go.
Weโre interrupted when the bartender steps up and asks Nora what she wants, leaning over the counter toward her so he can hearโor maybe because he notices how beautiful her eyes are and wants a closer look.
โWhat can I get you?โ he asks, and then with an obnoxious smirk, he tacks on, โMy number maybe?โ
And now I have the strongest urge to slam his face down into the bar and break his nose. Which, yep, this only solidifies why I canโt work with Nora. I canโt be around this all the time. Everyone seems to want herโwith good reason.
She laughs at his flirty comment, and I bite the insides of my cheeks not to say anything. But then her hand juts out and lands on the side of my neck where it meets my shoulder. She grips it once, possessively, and I cut my eyes to her.ย What the hell?
โSorryโIโm taken,โ she says, and my heartโmy pitiful little sad sap of a heartโrockets against my sternum.
โAh, too bad,โ says the bartender, turning to me with unapologetic eyes.
I keep quiet as Nora rattles off her orderโa gin gimletโall the while keeping her hand fixed on my neck. Her thumb glides up and down my skin and I doubt she understands how completely sheโs torturing me right now. Also how confused sheโs making me. Did I not just essentially fire her? What the hell is happening? And why am I contemplating sweeping her into my arms and carrying her straight up to my hotel room?
The bartender walks off and the moment his back is to us, Nora drops her hand away along with her smile.
โIโm so sorry!โ she says, turning wide-eyed at me. โHe hit on me and Iโm just so tired. Plus he was definitely giving off the vibes of a guy who would only take a rejection as incentive to try harder, but then I realized you were here, and you already hate me, and Iโm already fired so what do I have to lose, right?โ She smile-grimaces at me. โOh gosh, you donโt look so happy. Are you going to fire me a second time? HereโฆIโll justโฆscootch right over here.โ Sheโs shuffling her chair farther down the bar. โConsider me thoroughly fired. I wonโt bug you anymore. In fact, Iโll zip it, lock it, and put it in my pocket.โ Of course she mimes this entire monologue by locking up her lips with an imaginary key and shoving it in her nonexistent pocket.
I watch as Nora sits ramrod straight and turns her face forward as if she no longer notices me.ย This woman.
โNora, what are you doing?โ I ask, trying to keep the laughter from my voice.
She blinks over at me and then pretends to take the key from her pocket and unlocks her lips. โIโm giving you space.โ
โThis is space? Youโre going to sit an armโs length away from me and pretend I donโt exist?โ
โYesโbecause Iโm professional. The peak of professionalism.โ Sheโs doing something with her hand now. A round-and-round gesture. Nora is a real full-body-conversation kind of person.
โWhat are you doing with your hand?โ I ask.
โRolling up my window so we donโt talk anymore. Youโre free of me.โ
โYou can have any imaginary car in the world, and you choose one with a manual window crank?โ
She still wonโt look at me. โOf course because thisโโshe mimes pressing an imaginary button on the barโโdoesnโt look nearly as cool.โ
โIโm not sureย coolย is the word youโre looking for.โ
Nora smiles and slowly turns her face in my direction again. Itโs like a light has turned on behind her eyes. โYouโre not mad? Youโre joking with me?โ
โWell, I would if your window was down, butโฆโ I shrug and smile into my glass.
I notice the bartender headed our way again with Noraโs drink. Against my better judgment, I lean over and hook my hand under Noraโs stool, dragging her back to my side. Closer this time. The bartender sets her drink down and lingers a second, hoping to catch her eye (because I guess he feels like dying tonight). But Nora doesnโt see him. Sheโs staring at me.
Weโre both confused as hell.
I donโt acknowledge how close Iโve pulled her. I donโt acknowledge how incredible her hair smells. Instead, I continue like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. โAre you going to be okay once the contract is dissolved?โ
โWas Matthew Macfadyen the best Mr. Darcy to ever grace the screen?โ
โWhat?โ
She takes a sip of her drink and licks her lips. โThe answer is yes to both. Iโll be fine.โ Except her eyes dart away from me quickly, like she doesnโt want me to see the truth. She might not be okay. Her agency might think something was her fault.ย Dammit.
โIโll call them and tell them everything. Make sure they know itโs nothing you did but because of my own issues.โ
โThatโs okay. I can handle them myself,โ she says with her usual Nora steel, and then takes a long drink, nearly downing her whole gimlet. She hisses once she swallows.
โA little tart?โ I ask with a grin.
She doesnโt answer. She swivels on her barstool and her knees push into the outside of my thigh. โSo if Iโm no longer your agentโฆtonight weโre justโฆ?โ
โTwo people having drinks.โ
โPeople,โ she says with heavy inflection. โRight. Not friends. Because you hate me.โ
โAgainโhateย is not the word for it.โ
โOkay, well, whatever we areโฆโ Her hand wraps around her glass and puts it to her mouth, tipping it back to drink the last swig of it. โCan we be it while drinking? Because Iโve had a long week and I think Iโd like to get drunk safely. And youโre a big guy,โ she says like maybe I didnโt already know this. โAnd a gentleman. I think even though you hate me youโll keep me safe.โ
โOnce againโฆhateย is not the word.โ
She throws her hands up dramatically. โLoathe me, are annoyed by me, despise me, abhor meโฆโ
Fucking love you.
โโฆHave a distaste for me, wish ill upon my soul!โ
I raise my hand in the air to catch my least favorite bartenderโs attention. Noraโs gaze slides up my arm and her eyes sparkle. โOoh, what are you doing? Are you getting his attention? Should I sit in your lap while you do?โ
My eyes cut slowly to her, and she smiles wickedly up at me. For some reasonโthinking I dislike her is giving her a whole new freedom. Fine. Whatever it takes to get through this last night before we go our separate ways and I make myself get over her for good.
I order us both another round of drinks as well as shots, and a few minutes later, weโre raising our glasses in a toast.
โTo the official end of us,โ she says in her usual candidness, making me want to laugh even as my chest hurts at the thought of losing her.
โTo the end of us.โ
Our glasses clink together and then we both toss back our drinks.