I sat quietly beside Poppy as she slept under the walnut tree, having fallen asleep mere moments after placing her cheek on my rolled cloak. I didnโt want to disturb her, but I also couldnโt stop myself from touching her. It was as if I were under some sort of compulsion. Iโd readjusted the cloak draped over her half a dozen times. Iโd toyed with her hair, smoothing the wispy strands that had fallen on her cheek, and then waited hopefully for the breeze to undo my work so I had a good reason for touching her again.
It was all ridiculous. Perhaps even a bit obsessive, but the contact was grounding, especially in the dark and quiet. My hand shook slightly as I pulled the cloak up to her shoulder. The contact stopped the looming and panicked fear that drove my mind back to that cell.
Dragging my gaze from her, I looked over to where Malik was chained to one of the trees. His chin was down against his chest, but I knew he was awake.
And I was willing to bet that he was plotting his escape.
I didnโt know what to think when it came to Malik, but one thing was clear. He wasnโt loyal to Isbeth. It wasnโt the Blood Queen he sought to return to.
It was his heartmate.
Still, I didnโt think I could ever forgive him.
I wasnโt even sure I could forgive my parents for their lies.
Kieran drifted out of the night, coming to my side. He crouched beside me, his voice low. โIโll watch over her.โ
The fist of emotion clenched. โI donโt know if I want to speak to him.โ Kieran eyed Malik, his jaw tense. โYou donโt want to, but you need to,
and you should.โ
โWas that supposed to be wise advice?โ
โSomeone has to impart wisdom around here.โ
I smirked, letting my hand fall from my mouth. โHopefully, we find a person to take on that role.โ
Kieran chuckled quietly as he glanced at Poppy. โYou know, she never slept like this when you were gone. She hardly slept at all. And when she did, there wer almost always nightmares. I think thatโs why she sleeps so deeply now. Her body is trying to make up for the loss.โ
I closed my eyes.
Hearing all of thatโฆ Fuck, it was a kick to the heart. I reached over, my fingers grazing her cheek just so I couldย feelย her. โIf I could take back any pain she suffered, I would.โ
โBut you wouldnโt change a thing you did.โ โNo.โ
He let out a heavy sigh. โWhat Reaver said earlierโฆโ
I turned my head to him, a faint sliver of moonlight cutting across his cheek and one eye. โThe Joining?โ
Kieran nodded. โReaver wasnโt even sure if it would block a Primal curse.โ
โIt could, though.โ
A long moment passed as he stared down at Poppy. โI donโt want either of you to feel like you have to do that for me. Weโll find Malec, and then weโll kill that bitch.โ
I studied him. The line of his jaw was hard. Set. Determined. Iโd seen that expression a thousand times. Like when we left for Solis to find the Maiden. He hadnโt been on board with the idea, but heโd stood beside me the entire time. As resolved then as he was when Iโd ordered him to remain in Atlantia while I went on my idiotic quest to kill the Blood Queen and King all those years ago. I knew the slight rise of his lips meant that he was reluctantly amused, something Iโd seen a lot of when he was first around Poppy. I knew what he looked like when he was furious and when heโd been ripped apart by grief. Iโd seen him go utterly cold. Empty. I knew his face well enough to know when he looked upon someone he cared deeply about. Those fine, barely noticeable lines of tension around his mouth disappeared. Kieranย softened. Heโd done that when he looked at Elashyaโ whenever he spoke of her. He softened in almost the same way now when he looked upon Poppy.
I reached over, clasping his shoulder. โWe are not brothers of the same blood. We are not friends due to some bond,โ I told him, and his gaze met mine. โWe are not loyal to each other because of courtesy or tradition or title. We have always been above all that. And, in a lot of ways, weโre two halves of the same whole. Different than Poppy and me, but notย thatย much different. You know that.โ
Kieran closed his eyes.
โPoppy and I have spoken about it.โ
โI figured thatโs what you were off doing.โ He paused. โWell,ย oneย of the things I figured you two were off doing.โ
I grinned as I watched him. โWhen it comes to the Joining, itโs not because we feel as if we need to. Itโs because we want to,โ I told him. โItโs for you as much as it will be for us.โ
Kieran swallowed again. โI just wanted you to knowโwantedย herย to knowโthat I donโt expect it.โ
โWe both know that.โ
He cleared his throat. โSo, you did talk about it?โ
โWe did.โ I squeezed his shoulder. โAnd you know what our answer is
โwhat she decided.โ
โI do.โ Kieranโs eyes opened. โAnd how do you feel about that?โ โYou know how I feel about it.โ
A grin appeared. โIntrigued?โ
โIโm always in a state of constant intrigue when it comes to her,โ I admitted.
โYeah,โ he breathed, looking down at her. โI bet she had so many questions.โ
I grinned. โAll valid ones you probably secretly wished sheโd asked you so you could feel useful.โ
Kieran laughed under his breath. โYeah, I do.โ
โI wanted her to take the time to make sure this is what she wants,โ I told him, and he nodded. โIf she still wants to do the Joining, weโll do it when we return from the Blood Forest.โ
โThatโs good. I want her to be sure.โ
His gaze flicked to me. โGo talk to your brother. Sheโll be fine with me.โ
โI know.โ Giving his shoulder one last squeeze, I rose and left. When I looked back, Kieran had taken my place beside her, watchful and alert, and
that warmed my chest.
I made my way across the small clearing. Malik showed no awareness of my approach, but heย wasย aware. All those ugly emotions crowded my chest as I knelt in front of him. I said nothing. Neither did he for several moments. When he did speak, I fucking wished he hadnโt.
โYou hate me.โ
Jaw clenching, I twisted my neck from side to side. Did I? Yes. No.
โWouldnโt blame you if you did.โ He stretched out a leg. โI know you looked for me this whole time. I heard what the Descenters called you. The Dark Oneโโ
โExcept you were the only Dark One that ever mattered.โ
His shoulders tensed as he continued. โI didnโt want you to look for me. I wanted you to give up on it. Prayed that you did. And I kept thinking you would hear about meโabout a man called Elian, who was often seen at Wayfair. That you would know, would assume, that Iโd betrayed you and would give up. You didnโt. Shouldโve known better. You were always a stubborn bratโโ
โI donโt give a fuck about any of that. You donโt even want to know what I would do for Poppy, so I get it. You did it for your heartmate.โ The moment the words were spoken, Iย breathedย how godsdamn true they were. โItโs what I did to Poppy to free you. I lied to her. Betrayed her. And, yeah, thatโs on me. Something Iโve got to work out. But itโs also what you did to her that I cannot fathom, no matter what you believed she would do as an adult. She was a child. And youโwho abhorred violence of any kindโย neverย wouldโve even considered harming a child.โ
Malik said nothing.
That ugly fist of emotion clenched tighter. โIt doesnโt matter that you werenโt able to follow through on it. She got hurt because of you, Malik. Bad.โ
โI know,โ he said in a ragged way as if it hurt him to admit it.ย Iย wanted to hurt him for even acknowledging it.
โDo you? Do you know the scars that none can see? How they run so damn deep in her? Your actions tormented her for years.โ I lowered myself onto one knee, planting a hand in the cool grass to stop myself from planting it in his face. โYou left her there to die.โ
Malikโs head lifted then. Identical eyes met mine. โI didnโt. She tried to tell you that back in Stonehill. How do you think she survived that night?
Primal god or not, she hadnโt entered her Culling yet.โ He leaned forward as far as the chain would allow. โYou know that means she wouldโve died if left there. None of the others who survived the night wouldโve been able to get her out of there. I did. I took her back to Carsodonia, and that fucking
โโ A tremor coursed through him, and his laugh was low. Harsh. โI didnโt leave her there.โ
I stared at him. Poppy had said that heโd gotten her out of Lockswood. Heโd spoken the truth. But did it matter? โIs that supposed to redeem you somehow?โ
โFuck, no. Because youโre right. I was the cause of those scarsโhidden or not.โ Malik slumped against the tree. โI saw Penellaphe. Not often. Isbeth kept her away from most, but I saw her before they placed her in that veil. I saw what my actions had done. And trust me when I say it should bring you a little peace to not have seen the aftermath when it was so new.โ
I rose swiftly and took a step toward him, stopping short when I saw Kieran do the same across the clearing. I turned away from my brother, dragging in the cool night air until it dampened some of the rage.
โDid Alastir ever tell anyone that he saw me?โ I turned to him.
โBecause he did.โ Holy fuck. โNo.โ
Malikโs eyes closed. โHe saw and recognized me. I donโt know if I should feel relieved or not that he kept that to himself.โ
But had he? Or was that something else our parents had lied about? Was that why theyโd believed Malik gone to them? To Atlantia? Why theyโd pushed so hard for me to take the throne?
โThat night, when I looked into Penellapheโs eyes and saw the Consort, I believed Cora then. You know, that she was right,โ he said after a moment. โThat Penellaphe would end the Blood Crown. But over the years, I realized that it didnโt matter who Penellaphe was in her heart. All that mattered was whether Isbeth found a way to exploit her power.โ His eyes opened. โAnd you know she will. You saw it at Stonehill. In Oak Ambler. Isbeth stokes her anger, and Poppy responds with rage.โ
โShut up.โ
โAnd when she completes her Culling, it wonโt be rage she responds with. It will be death. It will be exactly what Isbeth is counting on. Somethingโโ
I shot forward, closing my hand around Malikโs throat. โPoppy will never destroy a kingdom, let alone a realm. No matter what Isbeth does,โ I told him, aware that Kieran had risen again but remained at Poppyโs side. โShe, unlike her motherย andย me, is able to control her anger.โ
โDo you know how badly I want to believe that?โ His voice broke.
I went cold as I held his gaze. โIf you even think of harming her now, I swear to the gods I will tear you apart, limb from limb.โ
โIf I wanted to try something, I wouldโve made a move when she was younger and returned to Wayfair,โ he bit out. โI havenโt. Neither has Millicent.โ
โYeah, thatโs right. Millicent said it had to be me once she finishes the Culling.โ
โAnd that wasnโt easy for her to say to you.โ
โShe didnโt appear to struggle that much with the words.โ
โMillie doesnโt know her sister, but she wouldnโt choose that kind of end for her. Sheโs just trying to protect the people.โ He held my stare. โAnd I hate that you even had to hear that. I do. To carry that kind of knowledgeโฆthat it will soon only be you who can stop her.โ
โDonโt feel too badly for me, brother.โ I dug my fingers into his windpipe just enough to cause him to flinch. โFor I wonโt lose one second of sleep to it because I would never do such a thing, nor would she give me a reason to.โ
โAnd if youโre wrong?โ he forced out.
โIโm not.โ I let go of his throat and backed off before I did something I might regret. โWeโre going to find Malec. Weโre going to bring him to Isbeth.โ
โBut what the draken said about the Joiningโโ
โWe havenโt done it.โ I stared up at the sky, unsure of why Iโd even admitted that.
โFuck. For real? Youโre married to your heartmate and havenโt Joined? You? Kieran? Hellโฆโ A little of the old Malik I knew slipped in then. โI just assumed you had. Apparently, so did the draken.โ He paused. โWill you? It might not work against a Primal curse, butโโ
โThatโs none of your fucking business. But, Joined or not, I wonโt risk it.โ I faced him. โNeither will Poppy.โ
Malik glanced over at Kieran. He had returned to Poppyโs side, sitting in a way that had him bent over half her body as if he were shielding her. โYou
sure you arenโt Joined?โ
โYes,โ I said wryly. โPositive.โ โHuh,โ he murmured.
Several long moments passed as I stared down at him. โWhy didnโt you ever try to take her life again when she was young and vulnerable?โ I asked, even though I wasnโt sure I should know. Because as Iโd said, Poppy was far better at controlling her anger than I was. โWhy didnโt Millicent if she too believed in the prophecy?โ
Malik gave another shake of his head. โThatโs her sister. Millie couldnโt do it. Didnโt matter that Penellaphe was never supposed to know about her.โ
โAnd you? You stopped believing in what Cora said.โ
โIโฆI just couldnโt do it. And by the time she was old enough that I no longer saw her as a child, they sent her to Masadonia,โ he said, his eyes thin slits. โAnd by the end, Iโd heard of the Dark One. You. And I figuredโฆโ
I tensed. โYou figured what?โ
โThat you would kill her to get back at the Blood Queen.โ
Cursing under my breath, I looked away. There was a brief time when I wouldโve done just that. Before I met Poppy. When I knew her only as the Maiden. Those brief moments, though, fucked with my head, even now.
I dragged a hand over my face. I still didnโt know if Malik having a change of heart mattered. Or if it ever would. I knelt once more. โDo you or do you not want to defeat Isbeth and the Blood Crown?โ
Malikโs eyes hardened into chips of amber. โI want to see them burn.โ โWhat about Millicent?โ I asked.
โShe wants the same.โ His gaze fell to where Poppy slept and then returned to mine. โShe wants to be free of her mother. To finally be able to live.โ
โIf thatโs what you really want, you wonโt run back to the capital and get yourself killed. Youโll fight beside us. Youโll help us find Malec and then kill Isbeth. You will help us end this.โ
โI will help you,โ Malik said. โI wonโt try to escape.โ
I took that in, wanting to believe what he claimed as badly as he wanted to believe what I said about Poppy. Problem was, that faith wasnโt gained by words. Faith was earned by actions. โThereโs something else I need to know about that night in Lockswood. What in the hell was up with that rhyme?โ
โWhat?โ He frowned. โWhat rhyme?โ
โThe pretty poppy one. Pick it and watch it bleed.โ I searched his features.
โIf thatโs a rhyme, it sounds about five levels of fucked up,โ Malik said. โBut I have no idea what youโre talking about. Iโve never even heard anything like that.โ
The battlements of the Rise surrounding Padonia came into view as we crested the rocky hill the following morning. Anticipation and resolve rose swiftly, as did a bit of awe. The Wisteria Woods Iโd seen the night before now crowded the earthen road and the city of Padonia itself, their trailing limbs of varying shades of blue and purple giving way to the deep crimson of the outer edges of the Blood Forest.
Poppy was clearly taken with the beauty, her gaze crawling over every inch of the landscape. I hoped it helped her forget that weโd passed the road to Lockswood no more than an hour ago. Her shoulders hadnโt relaxed until the wisterias became more visible. Still, sheโd been quiet most of the morning.
Shifting in the saddle, I glanced over at Malik. Between our conversation last night and the upcoming reunion with our father, I was caught up in my head and hoping to the gods that I wasnโt making a huge- ass mistake by removing the bone chain from his wrists and allowing him to ride freely.
I just hadnโt wanted our armiesโ first sight of their Prince to be one of him in chains.
Poppy folded a hand over the arm Iโd encircled her waist with as she turned to the side, looking up. โAre you okay?โ
โNot sure,โ I admitted, glancing down at her. โBeen thinking about what Iโm going to say to my father.โ
โWhat have you come up with?โ
โNothing thatโs suitable for repeating,โ I said with a dry laugh.
She glanced forward as the bridge over the River of Rhain became visible through the twining vines of bluish-purple. โWe can delay this if you
need more time.โ
โWe donโt need to do that.โ I kissed the top of her head. โItโs best if I get this over with.โ
The tops of many of the tents became visible, and it looked as if the bulk of the armies had camped outside the Rise. A risky move, but one that had most likely been decided in favor of not destroying the fields inside.
From the town, a low, rumbling roar gained our attention. I slowed the horse as Kieran stopped alongside us, the sound of hooves and paws reaching our ears. โWeโre about to have company.โ I squeezed her hips and then dismounted. I reached for her, and she placed her hand in mine without question or hesitation. The horse we rode was only now getting used to Kieran in his wolven form, and I had a feeling we were about to be swamped by many more. I didnโt want him throwing Poppy.
Her lips pursed. โI still cannot believe I donโt have better hearing or vision. Ridiculous.โ
โOr shift into anything,โ I reminded her as the noise grew louder, closer. โThat, too.โ
โYouโre perfect as you are.โ I bent, kissing the corner of her mouth. โAverage hearing and all.โ
โThat was corny,โ she said, grinning as she peered at me through a fringe of lashes with those fractured green-and-silver eyes. โBut cute.โ
A white wolf was the first to burst through the wisteria vines, racing straight toward us. There was no stopping my smile as Delano all but launched himself in my direction.
โOh, dear,โ Poppy murmured, calming the nervous horse.
I caught the damn wolven, laughing as I stumbled back. Delano wasnโt the largest wolven by any means, but he was still heavy as an ox and strong as one, too. I ended up on one knee and tried toโwell, calm the furry, wiggling mass that was Delano as he pressed his head into mine.
โMissed you, my man.โ Clasping the sides of his head, I held him tightly until a fawn-colored wolven identical to Kieran but smaller in weight and height nudged him out of the way.
My chest warmed as I embraced Netta. She was a little less sedate in her eagerness, only nearly toppling me on my ass once. โMissed you, too.โ
โWhat about me?โ came a drawl.
I smoothed a hand over the top of Nettaโs head as I said, โDidnโt think about you once, Emil.โ
โOuch,โ the Atlantian said with a laugh, and then in a softer voice, I heard him say, โI knew you would get him.โ
Looking up, I saw the auburn-haired bastard take Poppyโs hand in his and hold it to the gold and steel armor adorning his chest. For once, I didnโt want to punch his throat through his spine. Only because the adoration in his stare was that of respect.
And because he released her hand quickly.
Other wolven surrounded me, and I gave up, remaining on my knee as they each came to either brush against me or push their head against mine. I gladly waited. For a wolven to do such a thing was a sign of respect, and I was honored to be on the receiving end.
When I was finally able to rise, another emotion rocked me. It was seeing Poppy greeted in the same wayโwatching her turn to bury her face in the fur of Delanoโs neck and then hold Netta tightly to her. Hearing her laughter as the wolven pressed into her. Her acceptance of themโthat shining love in her bright eyesโand their clear worship of her did something to my chest and my fucking eyes.
That was myย wife. My heartmate.
Godsdamn.
Clearing my throat, I looked at the tall Atlantian standing before me. โHeld back,โ Naill said thickly. โDidnโt want to get trampled.โ
Laughing, I closed the distance between us, embracing him. โGood to see you.โ
โAs it is to see you.โ His arm hung around my shoulders. โHasnโt been right without you.โ
I blew out a ragged breath. โBut Iโm back now.โ โI know you are. Just donโt leave us again.โ โDonโt plan on it.โ
Naill gave me one last squeeze before stepping back. He caught my left wrist. The glance was brief, but his amber eyes turned hard. โWeโre going to make them pay for this.โ
โWe are.โ I clasped our hands with my other.
When Naill moved to the side, Perry quickly replaced him and pulled me in for a one-armed embrace. The armor he wore dug into my chest, but I didnโt care. Neither of us spoke for a long moment, and then he said roughly, โYou look good.โ
โFeeling that way,โ I told him. โYouโve been keeping an eye on Delano?โ
โAlways. Itโs like a twenty-four-hour assignment.โ Perry laughed, leaning back, his amber eyes shining. โNot once did any of us doubt that Kieran and our Queen would find you. Not for one damn second.โ
My throat thickened. โNeither did I.โ
Exhaling slowly, Perry stepped back and finally looked to where Malik stood. The arm around my shoulders tensed. โGods, itโs really him.โ
โYeah.โ I watched Delano approach Malik. The other wolven watched closely, cautiously. Their uncertainty regarding the Prince hung heavy in the air.
โHe looksโฆโ Naill joined us, and I noticed a muscle flexing in Perryโs jaw.
โHe looks nothing like I expected,โ Emil finished.
In other words, he didnโt look like the messy pile of flesh and bones I had when I returned from several decades of captivity.
Emil clasped my hand, and I pulled the fucker in for a close, tight embrace. โDelano said Malik didnโt want to return?โ he asked quietly.
Perry glanced at us. โAnd that Poppy told him it was complicated.โ
โIt is.โ I turned, slipping an arm around Poppy as she came to stand beside me, but I didnโt take my gaze off my brother.
Malik knelt in front of Delano as Kieran crept close, eyeing both of them. My brother spoke, but even I couldnโt pick up on the words. Whatever he said, though, Delano responded with a slight nudge of his head against Malikโs hand.
The act sent a small shudder through Malik and didnโt go unnoticed by the other wolven. The tension thickening the air eased. Poppy pressed against my side, her palm resting just below my chest as Malik placed a trembling hand on the top of Delanoโs bowed head. Malikโs eyes closed as Poppyโs fingers curled into my shirt, his features pinching as he turned his head, dragging his shoulder along his cheek. I knew what Poppy had to be sensing. The emotion was clearly etched into Malikโs face. Sorrow.
Preela, Malikโs bonded wolven, had been Delanoโs sister.