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Chapter no 38

The War of Two Queens (Blood and Ash, #4)

I sat quietly beside Poppy as she slept under the walnut tree, having fallen asleep mere moments after placing her cheek on my rolled cloak. I didnโ€™t want to disturb her, but I also couldnโ€™t stop myself from touching her. It was as if I were under some sort of compulsion. Iโ€™d readjusted the cloak draped over her half a dozen times. Iโ€™d toyed with her hair, smoothing the wispy strands that had fallen on her cheek, and then waited hopefully for the breeze to undo my work so I had a good reason for touching her again.

It was all ridiculous. Perhaps even a bit obsessive, but the contact was grounding, especially in the dark and quiet. My hand shook slightly as I pulled the cloak up to her shoulder. The contact stopped the looming and panicked fear that drove my mind back to that cell.

Dragging my gaze from her, I looked over to where Malik was chained to one of the trees. His chin was down against his chest, but I knew he was awake.

And I was willing to bet that he was plotting his escape.

I didnโ€™t know what to think when it came to Malik, but one thing was clear. He wasnโ€™t loyal to Isbeth. It wasnโ€™t the Blood Queen he sought to return to.

It was his heartmate.

Still, I didnโ€™t think I could ever forgive him.

I wasnโ€™t even sure I could forgive my parents for their lies.

Kieran drifted out of the night, coming to my side. He crouched beside me, his voice low. โ€œIโ€™ll watch over her.โ€

The fist of emotion clenched. โ€œI donโ€™t know if I want to speak to him.โ€ Kieran eyed Malik, his jaw tense. โ€œYou donโ€™t want to, but you need to,

and you should.โ€

โ€œWas that supposed to be wise advice?โ€

โ€œSomeone has to impart wisdom around here.โ€

I smirked, letting my hand fall from my mouth. โ€œHopefully, we find a person to take on that role.โ€

Kieran chuckled quietly as he glanced at Poppy. โ€œYou know, she never slept like this when you were gone. She hardly slept at all. And when she did, there wer almost always nightmares. I think thatโ€™s why she sleeps so deeply now. Her body is trying to make up for the loss.โ€

I closed my eyes.

Hearing all of thatโ€ฆ Fuck, it was a kick to the heart. I reached over, my fingers grazing her cheek just so I couldย feelย her. โ€œIf I could take back any pain she suffered, I would.โ€

โ€œBut you wouldnโ€™t change a thing you did.โ€ โ€œNo.โ€

He let out a heavy sigh. โ€œWhat Reaver said earlierโ€ฆโ€

I turned my head to him, a faint sliver of moonlight cutting across his cheek and one eye. โ€œThe Joining?โ€

Kieran nodded. โ€œReaver wasnโ€™t even sure if it would block a Primal curse.โ€

โ€œIt could, though.โ€

A long moment passed as he stared down at Poppy. โ€œI donโ€™t want either of you to feel like you have to do that for me. Weโ€™ll find Malec, and then weโ€™ll kill that bitch.โ€

I studied him. The line of his jaw was hard. Set. Determined. Iโ€™d seen that expression a thousand times. Like when we left for Solis to find the Maiden. He hadnโ€™t been on board with the idea, but heโ€™d stood beside me the entire time. As resolved then as he was when Iโ€™d ordered him to remain in Atlantia while I went on my idiotic quest to kill the Blood Queen and King all those years ago. I knew the slight rise of his lips meant that he was reluctantly amused, something Iโ€™d seen a lot of when he was first around Poppy. I knew what he looked like when he was furious and when heโ€™d been ripped apart by grief. Iโ€™d seen him go utterly cold. Empty. I knew his face well enough to know when he looked upon someone he cared deeply about. Those fine, barely noticeable lines of tension around his mouth disappeared. Kieranย softened. Heโ€™d done that when he looked at Elashyaโ€” whenever he spoke of her. He softened in almost the same way now when he looked upon Poppy.

I reached over, clasping his shoulder. โ€œWe are not brothers of the same blood. We are not friends due to some bond,โ€ I told him, and his gaze met mine. โ€œWe are not loyal to each other because of courtesy or tradition or title. We have always been above all that. And, in a lot of ways, weโ€™re two halves of the same whole. Different than Poppy and me, but notย thatย much different. You know that.โ€

Kieran closed his eyes.

โ€œPoppy and I have spoken about it.โ€

โ€œI figured thatโ€™s what you were off doing.โ€ He paused. โ€œWell,ย oneย of the things I figured you two were off doing.โ€

I grinned as I watched him. โ€œWhen it comes to the Joining, itโ€™s not because we feel as if we need to. Itโ€™s because we want to,โ€ I told him. โ€œItโ€™s for you as much as it will be for us.โ€

Kieran swallowed again. โ€œI just wanted you to knowโ€”wantedย herย to knowโ€”that I donโ€™t expect it.โ€

โ€œWe both know that.โ€

He cleared his throat. โ€œSo, you did talk about it?โ€

โ€œWe did.โ€ I squeezed his shoulder. โ€œAnd you know what our answer is

โ€”what she decided.โ€

โ€œI do.โ€ Kieranโ€™s eyes opened. โ€œAnd how do you feel about that?โ€ โ€œYou know how I feel about it.โ€

A grin appeared. โ€œIntrigued?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m always in a state of constant intrigue when it comes to her,โ€ I admitted.

โ€œYeah,โ€ he breathed, looking down at her. โ€œI bet she had so many questions.โ€

I grinned. โ€œAll valid ones you probably secretly wished sheโ€™d asked you so you could feel useful.โ€

Kieran laughed under his breath. โ€œYeah, I do.โ€

โ€œI wanted her to take the time to make sure this is what she wants,โ€ I told him, and he nodded. โ€œIf she still wants to do the Joining, weโ€™ll do it when we return from the Blood Forest.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s good. I want her to be sure.โ€

His gaze flicked to me. โ€œGo talk to your brother. Sheโ€™ll be fine with me.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€ Giving his shoulder one last squeeze, I rose and left. When I looked back, Kieran had taken my place beside her, watchful and alert, and

that warmed my chest.

I made my way across the small clearing. Malik showed no awareness of my approach, but heย wasย aware. All those ugly emotions crowded my chest as I knelt in front of him. I said nothing. Neither did he for several moments. When he did speak, I fucking wished he hadnโ€™t.

โ€œYou hate me.โ€

Jaw clenching, I twisted my neck from side to side. Did I? Yes. No.

โ€œWouldnโ€™t blame you if you did.โ€ He stretched out a leg. โ€œI know you looked for me this whole time. I heard what the Descenters called you. The Dark Oneโ€”โ€

โ€œExcept you were the only Dark One that ever mattered.โ€

His shoulders tensed as he continued. โ€œI didnโ€™t want you to look for me. I wanted you to give up on it. Prayed that you did. And I kept thinking you would hear about meโ€”about a man called Elian, who was often seen at Wayfair. That you would know, would assume, that Iโ€™d betrayed you and would give up. You didnโ€™t. Shouldโ€™ve known better. You were always a stubborn bratโ€”โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t give a fuck about any of that. You donโ€™t even want to know what I would do for Poppy, so I get it. You did it for your heartmate.โ€ The moment the words were spoken, Iย breathedย how godsdamn true they were. โ€œItโ€™s what I did to Poppy to free you. I lied to her. Betrayed her. And, yeah, thatโ€™s on me. Something Iโ€™ve got to work out. But itโ€™s also what you did to her that I cannot fathom, no matter what you believed she would do as an adult. She was a child. And youโ€”who abhorred violence of any kindโ€”ย neverย wouldโ€™ve even considered harming a child.โ€

Malik said nothing.

That ugly fist of emotion clenched tighter. โ€œIt doesnโ€™t matter that you werenโ€™t able to follow through on it. She got hurt because of you, Malik. Bad.โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ he said in a ragged way as if it hurt him to admit it.ย Iย wanted to hurt him for even acknowledging it.

โ€œDo you? Do you know the scars that none can see? How they run so damn deep in her? Your actions tormented her for years.โ€ I lowered myself onto one knee, planting a hand in the cool grass to stop myself from planting it in his face. โ€œYou left her there to die.โ€

Malikโ€™s head lifted then. Identical eyes met mine. โ€œI didnโ€™t. She tried to tell you that back in Stonehill. How do you think she survived that night?

Primal god or not, she hadnโ€™t entered her Culling yet.โ€ He leaned forward as far as the chain would allow. โ€œYou know that means she wouldโ€™ve died if left there. None of the others who survived the night wouldโ€™ve been able to get her out of there. I did. I took her back to Carsodonia, and that fucking

โ€”โ€ A tremor coursed through him, and his laugh was low. Harsh. โ€œI didnโ€™t leave her there.โ€

I stared at him. Poppy had said that heโ€™d gotten her out of Lockswood. Heโ€™d spoken the truth. But did it matter? โ€œIs that supposed to redeem you somehow?โ€

โ€œFuck, no. Because youโ€™re right. I was the cause of those scarsโ€”hidden or not.โ€ Malik slumped against the tree. โ€œI saw Penellaphe. Not often. Isbeth kept her away from most, but I saw her before they placed her in that veil. I saw what my actions had done. And trust me when I say it should bring you a little peace to not have seen the aftermath when it was so new.โ€

I rose swiftly and took a step toward him, stopping short when I saw Kieran do the same across the clearing. I turned away from my brother, dragging in the cool night air until it dampened some of the rage.

โ€œDid Alastir ever tell anyone that he saw me?โ€ I turned to him.

โ€œBecause he did.โ€ Holy fuck. โ€œNo.โ€

Malikโ€™s eyes closed. โ€œHe saw and recognized me. I donโ€™t know if I should feel relieved or not that he kept that to himself.โ€

But had he? Or was that something else our parents had lied about? Was that why theyโ€™d believed Malik gone to them? To Atlantia? Why theyโ€™d pushed so hard for me to take the throne?

โ€œThat night, when I looked into Penellapheโ€™s eyes and saw the Consort, I believed Cora then. You know, that she was right,โ€ he said after a moment. โ€œThat Penellaphe would end the Blood Crown. But over the years, I realized that it didnโ€™t matter who Penellaphe was in her heart. All that mattered was whether Isbeth found a way to exploit her power.โ€ His eyes opened. โ€œAnd you know she will. You saw it at Stonehill. In Oak Ambler. Isbeth stokes her anger, and Poppy responds with rage.โ€

โ€œShut up.โ€

โ€œAnd when she completes her Culling, it wonโ€™t be rage she responds with. It will be death. It will be exactly what Isbeth is counting on. Somethingโ€”โ€

I shot forward, closing my hand around Malikโ€™s throat. โ€œPoppy will never destroy a kingdom, let alone a realm. No matter what Isbeth does,โ€ I told him, aware that Kieran had risen again but remained at Poppyโ€™s side. โ€œShe, unlike her motherย andย me, is able to control her anger.โ€

โ€œDo you know how badly I want to believe that?โ€ His voice broke.

I went cold as I held his gaze. โ€œIf you even think of harming her now, I swear to the gods I will tear you apart, limb from limb.โ€

โ€œIf I wanted to try something, I wouldโ€™ve made a move when she was younger and returned to Wayfair,โ€ he bit out. โ€œI havenโ€™t. Neither has Millicent.โ€

โ€œYeah, thatโ€™s right. Millicent said it had to be me once she finishes the Culling.โ€

โ€œAnd that wasnโ€™t easy for her to say to you.โ€

โ€œShe didnโ€™t appear to struggle that much with the words.โ€

โ€œMillie doesnโ€™t know her sister, but she wouldnโ€™t choose that kind of end for her. Sheโ€™s just trying to protect the people.โ€ He held my stare. โ€œAnd I hate that you even had to hear that. I do. To carry that kind of knowledgeโ€ฆthat it will soon only be you who can stop her.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t feel too badly for me, brother.โ€ I dug my fingers into his windpipe just enough to cause him to flinch. โ€œFor I wonโ€™t lose one second of sleep to it because I would never do such a thing, nor would she give me a reason to.โ€

โ€œAnd if youโ€™re wrong?โ€ he forced out.

โ€œIโ€™m not.โ€ I let go of his throat and backed off before I did something I might regret. โ€œWeโ€™re going to find Malec. Weโ€™re going to bring him to Isbeth.โ€

โ€œBut what the draken said about the Joiningโ€”โ€

โ€œWe havenโ€™t done it.โ€ I stared up at the sky, unsure of why Iโ€™d even admitted that.

โ€œFuck. For real? Youโ€™re married to your heartmate and havenโ€™t Joined? You? Kieran? Hellโ€ฆโ€ A little of the old Malik I knew slipped in then. โ€œI just assumed you had. Apparently, so did the draken.โ€ He paused. โ€œWill you? It might not work against a Primal curse, butโ€”โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s none of your fucking business. But, Joined or not, I wonโ€™t risk it.โ€ I faced him. โ€œNeither will Poppy.โ€

Malik glanced over at Kieran. He had returned to Poppyโ€™s side, sitting in a way that had him bent over half her body as if he were shielding her. โ€œYou

sure you arenโ€™t Joined?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ I said wryly. โ€œPositive.โ€ โ€œHuh,โ€ he murmured.

Several long moments passed as I stared down at him. โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you ever try to take her life again when she was young and vulnerable?โ€ I asked, even though I wasnโ€™t sure I should know. Because as Iโ€™d said, Poppy was far better at controlling her anger than I was. โ€œWhy didnโ€™t Millicent if she too believed in the prophecy?โ€

Malik gave another shake of his head. โ€œThatโ€™s her sister. Millie couldnโ€™t do it. Didnโ€™t matter that Penellaphe was never supposed to know about her.โ€

โ€œAnd you? You stopped believing in what Cora said.โ€

โ€œIโ€ฆI just couldnโ€™t do it. And by the time she was old enough that I no longer saw her as a child, they sent her to Masadonia,โ€ he said, his eyes thin slits. โ€œAnd by the end, Iโ€™d heard of the Dark One. You. And I figuredโ€ฆโ€

I tensed. โ€œYou figured what?โ€

โ€œThat you would kill her to get back at the Blood Queen.โ€

Cursing under my breath, I looked away. There was a brief time when I wouldโ€™ve done just that. Before I met Poppy. When I knew her only as the Maiden. Those brief moments, though, fucked with my head, even now.

I dragged a hand over my face. I still didnโ€™t know if Malik having a change of heart mattered. Or if it ever would. I knelt once more. โ€œDo you or do you not want to defeat Isbeth and the Blood Crown?โ€

Malikโ€™s eyes hardened into chips of amber. โ€œI want to see them burn.โ€ โ€œWhat about Millicent?โ€ I asked.

โ€œShe wants the same.โ€ His gaze fell to where Poppy slept and then returned to mine. โ€œShe wants to be free of her mother. To finally be able to live.โ€

โ€œIf thatโ€™s what you really want, you wonโ€™t run back to the capital and get yourself killed. Youโ€™ll fight beside us. Youโ€™ll help us find Malec and then kill Isbeth. You will help us end this.โ€

โ€œI will help you,โ€ Malik said. โ€œI wonโ€™t try to escape.โ€

I took that in, wanting to believe what he claimed as badly as he wanted to believe what I said about Poppy. Problem was, that faith wasnโ€™t gained by words. Faith was earned by actions. โ€œThereโ€™s something else I need to know about that night in Lockswood. What in the hell was up with that rhyme?โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€ He frowned. โ€œWhat rhyme?โ€

โ€œThe pretty poppy one. Pick it and watch it bleed.โ€ I searched his features.

โ€œIf thatโ€™s a rhyme, it sounds about five levels of fucked up,โ€ Malik said. โ€œBut I have no idea what youโ€™re talking about. Iโ€™ve never even heard anything like that.โ€

 

 

The battlements of the Rise surrounding Padonia came into view as we crested the rocky hill the following morning. Anticipation and resolve rose swiftly, as did a bit of awe. The Wisteria Woods Iโ€™d seen the night before now crowded the earthen road and the city of Padonia itself, their trailing limbs of varying shades of blue and purple giving way to the deep crimson of the outer edges of the Blood Forest.

Poppy was clearly taken with the beauty, her gaze crawling over every inch of the landscape. I hoped it helped her forget that weโ€™d passed the road to Lockswood no more than an hour ago. Her shoulders hadnโ€™t relaxed until the wisterias became more visible. Still, sheโ€™d been quiet most of the morning.

Shifting in the saddle, I glanced over at Malik. Between our conversation last night and the upcoming reunion with our father, I was caught up in my head and hoping to the gods that I wasnโ€™t making a huge- ass mistake by removing the bone chain from his wrists and allowing him to ride freely.

I just hadnโ€™t wanted our armiesโ€™ first sight of their Prince to be one of him in chains.

Poppy folded a hand over the arm Iโ€™d encircled her waist with as she turned to the side, looking up. โ€œAre you okay?โ€

โ€œNot sure,โ€ I admitted, glancing down at her. โ€œBeen thinking about what Iโ€™m going to say to my father.โ€

โ€œWhat have you come up with?โ€

โ€œNothing thatโ€™s suitable for repeating,โ€ I said with a dry laugh.

She glanced forward as the bridge over the River of Rhain became visible through the twining vines of bluish-purple. โ€œWe can delay this if you

need more time.โ€

โ€œWe donโ€™t need to do that.โ€ I kissed the top of her head. โ€œItโ€™s best if I get this over with.โ€

The tops of many of the tents became visible, and it looked as if the bulk of the armies had camped outside the Rise. A risky move, but one that had most likely been decided in favor of not destroying the fields inside.

From the town, a low, rumbling roar gained our attention. I slowed the horse as Kieran stopped alongside us, the sound of hooves and paws reaching our ears. โ€œWeโ€™re about to have company.โ€ I squeezed her hips and then dismounted. I reached for her, and she placed her hand in mine without question or hesitation. The horse we rode was only now getting used to Kieran in his wolven form, and I had a feeling we were about to be swamped by many more. I didnโ€™t want him throwing Poppy.

Her lips pursed. โ€œI still cannot believe I donโ€™t have better hearing or vision. Ridiculous.โ€

โ€œOr shift into anything,โ€ I reminded her as the noise grew louder, closer. โ€œThat, too.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re perfect as you are.โ€ I bent, kissing the corner of her mouth. โ€œAverage hearing and all.โ€

โ€œThat was corny,โ€ she said, grinning as she peered at me through a fringe of lashes with those fractured green-and-silver eyes. โ€œBut cute.โ€

A white wolf was the first to burst through the wisteria vines, racing straight toward us. There was no stopping my smile as Delano all but launched himself in my direction.

โ€œOh, dear,โ€ Poppy murmured, calming the nervous horse.

I caught the damn wolven, laughing as I stumbled back. Delano wasnโ€™t the largest wolven by any means, but he was still heavy as an ox and strong as one, too. I ended up on one knee and tried toโ€”well, calm the furry, wiggling mass that was Delano as he pressed his head into mine.

โ€œMissed you, my man.โ€ Clasping the sides of his head, I held him tightly until a fawn-colored wolven identical to Kieran but smaller in weight and height nudged him out of the way.

My chest warmed as I embraced Netta. She was a little less sedate in her eagerness, only nearly toppling me on my ass once. โ€œMissed you, too.โ€

โ€œWhat about me?โ€ came a drawl.

I smoothed a hand over the top of Nettaโ€™s head as I said, โ€œDidnโ€™t think about you once, Emil.โ€

โ€œOuch,โ€ the Atlantian said with a laugh, and then in a softer voice, I heard him say, โ€œI knew you would get him.โ€

Looking up, I saw the auburn-haired bastard take Poppyโ€™s hand in his and hold it to the gold and steel armor adorning his chest. For once, I didnโ€™t want to punch his throat through his spine. Only because the adoration in his stare was that of respect.

And because he released her hand quickly.

Other wolven surrounded me, and I gave up, remaining on my knee as they each came to either brush against me or push their head against mine. I gladly waited. For a wolven to do such a thing was a sign of respect, and I was honored to be on the receiving end.

When I was finally able to rise, another emotion rocked me. It was seeing Poppy greeted in the same wayโ€”watching her turn to bury her face in the fur of Delanoโ€™s neck and then hold Netta tightly to her. Hearing her laughter as the wolven pressed into her. Her acceptance of themโ€”that shining love in her bright eyesโ€”and their clear worship of her did something to my chest and my fucking eyes.

That was myย wife. My heartmate.

Godsdamn.

Clearing my throat, I looked at the tall Atlantian standing before me. โ€œHeld back,โ€ Naill said thickly. โ€œDidnโ€™t want to get trampled.โ€

Laughing, I closed the distance between us, embracing him. โ€œGood to see you.โ€

โ€œAs it is to see you.โ€ His arm hung around my shoulders. โ€œHasnโ€™t been right without you.โ€

I blew out a ragged breath. โ€œBut Iโ€™m back now.โ€ โ€œI know you are. Just donโ€™t leave us again.โ€ โ€œDonโ€™t plan on it.โ€

Naill gave me one last squeeze before stepping back. He caught my left wrist. The glance was brief, but his amber eyes turned hard. โ€œWeโ€™re going to make them pay for this.โ€

โ€œWe are.โ€ I clasped our hands with my other.

When Naill moved to the side, Perry quickly replaced him and pulled me in for a one-armed embrace. The armor he wore dug into my chest, but I didnโ€™t care. Neither of us spoke for a long moment, and then he said roughly, โ€œYou look good.โ€

โ€œFeeling that way,โ€ I told him. โ€œYouโ€™ve been keeping an eye on Delano?โ€

โ€œAlways. Itโ€™s like a twenty-four-hour assignment.โ€ Perry laughed, leaning back, his amber eyes shining. โ€œNot once did any of us doubt that Kieran and our Queen would find you. Not for one damn second.โ€

My throat thickened. โ€œNeither did I.โ€

Exhaling slowly, Perry stepped back and finally looked to where Malik stood. The arm around my shoulders tensed. โ€œGods, itโ€™s really him.โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€ I watched Delano approach Malik. The other wolven watched closely, cautiously. Their uncertainty regarding the Prince hung heavy in the air.

โ€œHe looksโ€ฆโ€ Naill joined us, and I noticed a muscle flexing in Perryโ€™s jaw.

โ€œHe looks nothing like I expected,โ€ Emil finished.

In other words, he didnโ€™t look like the messy pile of flesh and bones I had when I returned from several decades of captivity.

Emil clasped my hand, and I pulled the fucker in for a close, tight embrace. โ€œDelano said Malik didnโ€™t want to return?โ€ he asked quietly.

Perry glanced at us. โ€œAnd that Poppy told him it was complicated.โ€

โ€œIt is.โ€ I turned, slipping an arm around Poppy as she came to stand beside me, but I didnโ€™t take my gaze off my brother.

Malik knelt in front of Delano as Kieran crept close, eyeing both of them. My brother spoke, but even I couldnโ€™t pick up on the words. Whatever he said, though, Delano responded with a slight nudge of his head against Malikโ€™s hand.

The act sent a small shudder through Malik and didnโ€™t go unnoticed by the other wolven. The tension thickening the air eased. Poppy pressed against my side, her palm resting just below my chest as Malik placed a trembling hand on the top of Delanoโ€™s bowed head. Malikโ€™s eyes closed as Poppyโ€™s fingers curled into my shirt, his features pinching as he turned his head, dragging his shoulder along his cheek. I knew what Poppy had to be sensing. The emotion was clearly etched into Malikโ€™s face. Sorrow.

Preela, Malikโ€™s bonded wolven, had been Delanoโ€™s sister.

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