CARTER
I DON’T WANNA BRAG, but I’m playing phenomenally.
Being with Olivia last night lit a fire under my ass, and the puck I just buried in the net for the second time tonight is the proof.
Emmett jumps at me with a chest bump that smashes me into the boards, and when I fall to the ice, the rest of my team piles on top of me.
It may have been the game-winning goal. In overtime. Like I said, I don’t wanna brag, but…I do.
“Outstanding playing from you tonight, Carter. Absolutely remarkable,” praises one of the reporters crowding me outside the change room when I make it back there.
“It’s a team effort, like always.” I snag Adam’s jersey and tug him over. “I mean, this guy. Where the hell would we be if it wasn’t for this guy?” I shake his cage before he starts pulling his helmet off. “Best goalie in the league.”
“Adam, you got that last assist tonight. How’s that feel?”
“Always nice to help lead my team to a win,” he replies with a smile, running his hand over his puffed chest. He gestures to me. “Carter’s always ready for a pass up the boards, waiting to take off.”
Sweat is pouring from every orifice of my skin and all I want to do is wrap this up, get in the shower, and see if my girl’s waiting for me on the other end of the phone.
Adam nudges me in the side with his padded elbow. When I look up, he sends a pointed glance toward the reporters.
“Huh?” I might have spaced out there.
“I asked if the girl you were seen out with yesterday has anything to do with your beyond stellar performance today?” The reporter gestured with
his hand like he’s trying to remember her name. I doubt he’s forgotten; it’s splashed all over the internet in the sports world today, along with her picture. “Olivia, I think her name was.”
I smile, straightening off my stick as I clap Adam on the back. Olivia doesn’t want the world to know her, but I do. I want everyone to know she’s mine. “Have a good night, everyone,” I say with a wave, moving toward the change room. Except I can’t resist, so…I peek up at the camera and wink. “Hi, Ollie.”
My mood sours when I pull out my phone in the change room and find there’s still no word from her.
Soured probably isn’t the right word. I’m anxious, I think. I don’t really know what’s going on. Should she be messaging me more? Did I message her too much today? Am I being overbearing? Is this how this goes?
I glance at Adam. He’s got the same expression on his face as he stares down at his phone: disappointment. He sighs and stuffs his phone away; there’s no word from Courtney again.
But that’s different, isn’t it? Or is it?
“Fuck.” I accidentally mutter the word out loud.
Emmett strolls out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his hips, eyeing me. “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know. I think maybe Olivia might be mad at me?” I shrug. “I don’t know.” I already said that. “I haven’t heard from her very much.” If I was in town, I’d simply show up at her house. But I’m, like, seventy-two hours away from seeing her, which I hate.
I get a face full of Emmett’s dick when he drops the towel, reaching for his boxers.
“Fuck’s sake.” I shield my eyes with my hand. “Tuck that thing away.”
He chuckles, giving his hips a little roll. “Cara said Liv was upset because the article said she wasn’t enough to keep you interested.”
Olivia? Not enough? Well, that’s fucking ridiculous. “But she—”
“I know, but she’s a girl.” He taps his temple. “This shit gets inside their brains and lays eggs.” He tugs his pants up his legs. “Anyway, Care said her brother wasn’t happy and was making her go over. Probably why you haven’t heard from her more.”
I make a face. “Not happy about what?”
Emmett levels me with a look but it’s Garrett who snorts and answers. “Somebody would have to restrain me if you tried to get with one of my sisters.”
That’s unnecessary. His sisters are way too young for me. Also, they’re basically Garrett in female form. So, no thanks. “I don’t see the issue.”
Garrett drops his skates into his bag. “Put it this way. If you had a daughter, would you want her to—”
“Nope. No way in hell. Got it.” No need to finish that sentence. I would chop the dick off any man with a history like mine who tried to get near my daughter, and then I’d lock her up until she was thirty. Maybe even thirty- five. All-girl school would probably be a good option. Unless she likes girls. Fuck. Nowhere is safe.
Okay, so maybe I get what her brother’s deal is. But I’m not gonna be like that anymore. Olivia’s the only girl I wanna get down and freaky with. I won’t hurt her; I know it.
But I’m distracted the entire ride back to the hotel, staring down at my phone, composing and deleting a message to Olivia three times before I finally tuck my phone away.
“Do me a favor,” Emmett says as we head into the bar in the lobby. It’s rammed and rowdy and I kinda don’t want to be here. “Remember how it looks to be surrounded by girls who throw themselves at you. Doing nothing isn’t enough. You have to actively do anything but nothing.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means it’s easy for someone to snap a picture of you standing next to a girl who’s touching your arm and headline it ‘Carter Beckett: Cheating Already.’ Be aware, that’s all. You have someone else to think about now. A picture like that would embarrass Olivia.”
“Right.” I honestly couldn’t feel more dense right now. How is it that I need to have this explained to me at twenty-seven? Either way, I’m thankful for his warning, because the second we sit, a girl throws herself in my lap.
I’m not sure my reaction is the best. I throw my hands in the air and scream, accidentally shoving her off my lap and to the ground when I rocket to my feet and yell out, “I have a girlfriend!”
After a few deep breaths and a chance to assess the situation with my friends laughing around me, I help the stunned girl to her feet. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you.”
“It’s okay.” She giggles, right before she attaches herself to my torso.
Uh…
Gripping her biceps, I lift her gently off her feet, sidestep a shitload to the left, drop her back down, repeat, “I have a girlfriend,” and head back to my table.
“Girlfriend, eh?” Adam’s grin is ridiculously goofy as he pumps his brows. He’s already got deep fried pickles and I wanna know how in the hell that happened. “Goin’ straight for the big guns?”
I swipe a pickle off his plate and smother it in ranch sauce. “What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “I thought you were just dating.” “Isn’t that the same thing?”
Garrett and Emmett snicker, and Adam hums around his food while shaking his head. “You have so much to learn about women, young grasshopper.”
“I’m three years older than you.”
“And yet I’m years ahead of you mentally.”
“Fuck you.” I steal another pickle to distract from the fact that he’s right.
“Until you’ve had this particular conversation, Olivia’s not your girlfriend. She’s a girl you’re dating, which means you’re getting to know each other, seeing if you’re compatible, if the feelings are real enough to turn this into an actual relationship.”
What the fuck? I already know we’re compatible. She’s not afraid to call me out on my shit and I’m not afraid to put her in her place. Which, last night, was on the ground while I fucked her senseless. Also, she laughs at all my jokes. And her smile makes my own grow. And her hand feels really nice tucked into mine. Like, perfect. Plus, I can swallow her entire body up in my arms when I hug her.
And feelings? I know mine are real enough. It’s the only explanation as to why I couldn’t get over her after she walked away. Are hers…are hers not real enough yet? Does she not know?
“It also means she’s free to date other people at the same time,” Garrett adds. “You’re not exclusive without that label, and you don’t get that label without a conversation.”
“What? No. Other people? No.” She’s not allowed. I forbid it. I fire off a text to her before I can make my fingers stop.
r u seeing other ppl???
My phone starts vibrating instantaneously, and I hit Accept without checking the name first.
“Ollie?” The level of frantic in my voice right now needs to go. I clear my throat and try again with a little more gravel and indifference. “Olivia? Hey.”
“Did you seriously only pick up because you thought I was your girlfriend? You’ve been ignoring me all damn day, Carter Beckett!”
My chest deflates with an excessive sigh. “Hi, Mom.” I didn’t purposely ignore her. Her texts started rolling in while I was on the phone with Olivia earlier today, trying to tame this whole article debacle before shit could hit the fan, which it did anyway. And then I was focused on getting Olivia to respond to my texts, and after that, I got on a plane. “How’s the most beautiful girl in the world?” Over fifty, I add in my head.
“Don’t you try to butter me up, Carter, I swear.” She’s halfway to screaming. She’s mad.
“You’re mad.”
“You’re damn right I’m mad, honey!”
“You sound less mad when you call me honey.” Don’t poke the bear, my dad would say. But I like to poke. “Is it that time of the month already? I’m sure I have another week before you and Jennie and your synced-up cycles start attacking.” Poke, poke.
“Oh, you little—” The words dissolve into a groan, and I can practically see her shifting her glasses up so she can rub her eyes. “Somebody needs to slap you upside the head and it might be me.”
“But I love you, Mummy. You’re my favorite.” I know how to reel her back in. The guys have seen me do it too many times to count, hence the amusement dancing on their faces.
“Carter, nobody knows how to piss me off like you do.” She sighs. “Do you really have a girlfriend?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” I’m confused. “Apparently I need to have that conversation with her and not just assume so.”
There’s a laugh. “You’ve always been a pushy boy, going after whatever you want. You never took no for an answer, so I’m sure this will be no different.”
“Damn right.”
She chuckles softly. “Are you happy, honey?”
Heat creeps up my neck as I look around. “I’m out, Mom.” “Answer the question, Carter.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
I drum my fingers on the table. I’d like to say nobody’s paying me any attention, but that’s a load of crap. There are three sets of eyes glued on me. Four, if you count the girl on Garrett’s lap. And that’s not counting the people around us who can’t believe they’re in the same bar as the Vancouver Vipers.
So I hold my phone closer to my mouth and grumble out what she wants to hear.
“Pardon me? I didn’t hear you.” Her snarky amusement grinds my gears.
“Yes, I’m happy!”
“Oh, sweetheart. I hope I didn’t embarrass you in front of your friends.”
I last a whopping thirty-two minutes at the bar after I hang up with my mom. Long enough to drain a beer, devour a plate of nachos with Emmett, and watch Garrett get it on with a blonde chick.
I’ve got a mouthful of foamy toothpaste when I hear my phone ring on the bedside table. I dash out of the bathroom and dive across the bed, knocking my phone to the floor when I see Olivia’s name on the screen.
“Shit.” I roll off the bed and hit Accept on the FaceTime call five thousand times. “Hey. Hi. You. Olivia.” It comes out super gurgly because of the toothpaste. I hold up a finger. “Hafta spit.”
I take her with me into the bathroom, which I don’t think she minds because she’s giggling quietly, and I rinse my mouth out. Then I flop down on the bed, throw a hand behind my head, and flash her a grin. “Hey.”
Her face brightens with her smile. “Hi. You’re already in bed? I thought you’d be at the bar.”
I lift a shoulder like it’s no big deal, like I wasn’t pining over her down there. “I was for a bit, but I’m tired.”
“Oh. Do you want me to call you tomorrow instead?”
I shoot forward. “No! I mean. No, that’s okay.” I miss her already, though I saw her twenty-four hours ago. She’s in bed, too, and she looks tired. All this shit today probably took a toll on her. “I want to talk to you now.”
“I want to talk to you now too.” Leaning against her pillows, she fiddles with the strings of the blue sweater she’s wearing.
“Are you wearing my hoodie?” With a smug smirk, I scratch my bare chest. Olivia tracks the movement, which, unfortunately, only makes me smirk harder.
Tugging on the neck of my sweater, the bottom half of her face disappears behind it. “I like it. It smells like you.”
“How do I smell?”
She grins. “So good, like I wanna bury my face in your chest and soak up your hugs, every single second of them.”
Sweet Christ. “You know, you’re kind of a softie. Quite the contrast from the sassy brunette who’s told me to go fuck myself who knows how many times.”
Her cheeks tint. “Shut up.”
“Nope. My little softie. Soft, fluffy, tiny kitten Ollie.” That’s exactly what she is: a kitten. Fierce and sassy with claws she’s not afraid to show when she needs to, but underneath it all, a big ball of cuddly fluff.
“Carter,” she warns, but she’s not trying hard enough to hide that smile. I see it. Her lower lip slides between her teeth as she fiddles with the messy topknot on her head. “Hey, I’m sorry I kinda disappeared today. I know it’s silly, because I knew they took pictures. But I forgot, I guess, after everything else yesterday. I was kind of in shock. And the article. I didn’t like the way it made me feel.”
Her honesty is refreshing, and I appreciate it. I’m tired of misunderstandings and miscommunications. I need to know how she feels so I can help her through this shit. I also know that this whole thing is new for her, being in the spotlight, so I think I need to be patient with her while we navigate this part of our relationship.
Relationship. Oooh, that word tastes funny. Kinda like it. “I should have prepared you better.”
Olivia shakes her head. “No, Carter, you didn’t do anything wrong. I kinda lost my head there for a bit, but I didn’t mean to make you question whether or not I was seeing other people.”
I wave her off. “Pfft. You didn’t.” But also: “Are you?”
The laugh that bursts past her lips makes me grin. Adam was wrong.
This girl’s my girlfriend; I know it. Her feelings are real. I have no doubt. “I only have room for one goofy, demanding, arrogant man in my life.” I run a palm down my proud chest. “And it’s me?”
“It’s you, Mr. Beckett.”
I whoop my fist through the air. “Fuck yeah it is!” Stretching out over the bed, I watch as Olivia snuggles beneath the blankets. I wish I was snuggling with her. “I miss you. Is that weird? Should I be telling you that? Or keeping it to myself? You don’t have to say it back. Don’t be pressured or anything. I just—”
“Carter.”
I pull in a deep breath, trying to ease the rapid drum of my pulse. “Yeah?”
Olivia’s smile is sweet and sleepy as she lays her cheek down on her pillow. “I miss you too.”
“You do?”
She yawns, rubbing her eyes. “Yeah. It’s rather irritating. I wish you were here with me, but instead I’m alone. Cold.” The last word is a lazy mumble that tumbles off the tip of her tongue as her eyes flutter closed. It looks like it takes everything in her to keep prying them back open.
“I’d keep you warm, baby.” “Mmm, I know. Bear.”
“Bear?”
“Mhmm.” She stifles a yawn. The whites of her eyes are red, hiding behind her hooded lids, her smile dazed. “You’re like a grizzly bear. Warm and snuggly. Cute.”
“I think you mean huge and powerful.” I flex a bicep and growl for good measure.
Her tired giggle is the best, quiet and humming.
“You’re gonna fall asleep on me, sleepy girl.” Hitting the switch on the lamp, I watch as Olivia’s eyes fall closed for the last time. Her lips part as her chest rises and falls steadily, lit up by the gentle glow of a lamp somewhere over there, right where I wanna be.
I can’t take my eyes off her.
“Carter?” she calls suddenly, the words thick with sleep. Her eyes are still closed, and I think she might be dreaming.
“Yeah, princess?”
“What if I fall in love with you?” “Then I’ll fall with you, too, Ollie girl.”
