Are you at home?
The text is from Atlas, so I respond to it with, For a minute. Why?
I pack baby food into Emmyโs diaper bag and then rush around the room, grabbing her a change of clothes. I throw a can of formula in as well, since Iโm no longer breastfeeding, and then I scoop her up. โYou ready to go see Rylee?โ
Emmy smiles when I say Ryleeโs name.
When I picked her up this morning from Allysaโs, I had a talk with both her and Marshall about everything thatโs happened with Ryle. Allysa agreed that it was smart to show my lawyer the texts he sent me. She also agreed that itโs time we have a serious sit-down with Ryle. Iโm nervous, but knowing she and Marshall have my back is extremely reassuring.
As soon as we make it to my front door, thereโs a knock. I glance through the peephole, relieved to see Atlas standing there. But Josh isnโt with him, so my heart immediately sinks.ย Did he actually choose to stay with his father over Atlas?ย I swing open the door.
โWhat happened? Whereโs Josh?โ
Atlas smiles, and the assurance in his smile fills me with instant relief. โItโs fine. Heโs at my house.โ
I blow out a breath. โOh. Why are you here, then?โ
โIโm on my way to my restaurant. I was driving by and thought Iโd run up and steal a hug.โ
I smile, and he holds the door open for me. He canโt give me a full-on hug since I have Emerson perched on my hip, so he gives me a quick kiss on the side of my head. โLiar. My apartment isnโt on your way. And itโs Sundayโyour restaurant is closed.โ
โDetails,โ he says, waving off my point. โWhere are you headed?โ
โAllysaโs. Weโre having dinner with them tonight.โ I hoist the diaper bag onto my shoulder, but he takes it from me.
โIโll walk you out.โ He slings the diaper bag over his shoulder. Emmy reaches for him, and I think weโre both a little surprised when she willingly transfers from my arms to his. She tucks her head against his chest, and the sight of it makes me pause for a second. It makes Atlas take a pause, too. But then he smiles at me and begins walking down to my car. He holds my hand the whole way.
I take Emmy from him and buckle her into her car seat. Weโre finally in a position where Atlas can give me an actual hug, so he pulls me to him. His hug feels like an entire conversation. Heโs holding me in a way that makes it feel like heโs needing strengthโlike he wants to take a piece of me with him. โWhere are you going again?โ I ask him, pulling back.
โI really am going to my restaurant,โ he says. โI asked Sutton to meet me there. We need to have a serious discussion about Josh, and Iโd like to do it when itโs just me and her. She feeds off an audience, so I refuse to give her one.โ
โWow. Iโm actually on my way to Allysaโs to have that sit-down with Ryle I told you I wanted. What is this, problem-solving Sunday?โ
Atlas laughs softly. โHopefully.โ I kiss him. โGood luck.โ
He smiles gently. โYou too. Be safe, and call me as soon as you can.โ He presses his mouth to mine one last time, and then when he pulls away, he says, โLove you, babe.โ
He walks to his car, and I donโt know why his words leave me so flustered, but Iโm smiling as I get into my car.ย Love you, babe.ย Iโm still smiling as I drive away. My good mood surprises me, considering what Iโm on my way to do, and how itโs more of a spontaneous intervention than a planned sit-down. Iย amย going to Allysa and Marshallโs for dinner, but Ryle has no idea Iโm heading over there with a purpose.
โLasagna?โ I ask Marshall when he opens the front door. I could smell the garlic and tomatoes from the hallway.
โAllysaโs favorite,โ he says, closing the door behind me. He reaches for Emmy. โCome to Uncle Marshall,โ he says, pulling her to him.
Sheโs giggling as soon as he makes a face at her. Marshall is one of Emmyโs favorite people, but I think weโd be hard-pressed to find a kid who doesnโt love Marshall. โIs Allysa in the kitchen?โ
Marshall nods. โYeah. Heโs in there, too,โ he says, whispering. โWe didnโt mention you were coming.โ
โOkay.โ I set Emmyโs diaper bag down and head for the kitchen. I see Ryle and Allysaโs mother sitting with Rylee in the living room when I pass by. I wave at her, and she smiles, but I donโt stop to chat. I go in search of Allysa.
When I walk through the kitchen door, I find Ryle leaning over the bar, chatting casually with Allysa, but as soon as he makes eye contact with me, his spine stiffens and he stands up straight.
I donโt react at all. I donโt want Ryle to think he holds any sort of control over me anymore.
Allysa has been expecting me. She acknowledges me with a nod and then she closes the lasagna in the oven. โPerfect timing.โ She drops the pot holders on the counter and points at the table. โWe have forty-five minutes until itโs ready,โ she says, guiding both Ryle and me toward the table.
โWhat is this?โ Ryle asks, looking back and forth between the two of us. โJust a conversation,โ Allysa says, urging him to take a seat. Ryle rolls
his eyes but reluctantly takes a seat across from both Allysa and me. He leans back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. Allysa looks over at me, giving me the floor.
Iโm not sure why Iโm not scared right now. Maybe Atlas already having had a conversation with Ryle has put most of my concerns to rest. Having Allysa and Marshall in the apartment with us also feels like a layer of protection. And Ryleโs mother, even though she has no clue whatโs about to transpire. Ryle keeps his behavior in check when his mother is around, so Iโm grateful for her presence.
Whatever is giving me strength right now, I donโt sit and question it. I take advantage of it. โYou asked yesterday if I spoke to my lawyer,โ I say to Ryle. โI did. She had some suggestions.โ
Ryle chews on his bottom lip for a few seconds. Then he lifts a brow, indicating heโs listening.
โI want you to undergo anger management.โ
As soon as the words come out of my mouth, Ryle laughs. He stands up, prepared to push in his chair and end this conversation, but as soon as he does, Allysa says, โSit down, please.โ
Ryle looks at her, and then me, and then back at her. Several seconds pass as he takes in whatโs happening. Itโs apparent he feels deceived right now, but Iโm not here to give him empathy, and neither is his sister.
Ryle loves and respects Allysa, so he eventually returns to his seat, despite his current anger.
โWhile youโre undergoing anger management, I would prefer for your visits with Emerson to take place here, or somewhere Marshall or Allysa are present.โ
Ryle swings his eyes to Allysa, and the look of betrayal he shoots her would have given me chills at one point in our past, but right now that look does nothing to me.
I continue. โDepending on your interactions with me going forward, weโll decide as a family when we feel comfortable with you having unsupervised visits with the girls.โ
โTheย girls?โ Ryle repeats incredulously, looking at Allysa. โDid she convince you Iโm not safe around my own niece?โ His voice is louder now.
The kitchen door swings open, and Marshall walks in. He takes a seat at the head of the table and looks from Ryle to Allysa. โYour mom has the girls in the living room,โ he says to Allysa. โWhatโd I miss?โ
โAre you aware of this?โ Ryle asks Marshall.
Marshall stares at him for a beat, and then leans forward. โAm I aware you lost your temper with Lily last week and pinned her against a door? Or am I aware of the texts you sent her? Or the threats you made when she said she was talking to her lawyer?โ
Ryle stares blankly at Marshall. His face reddens, but he doesnโt immediately react. Heโs trapped in a corner, and he knows it. โA goddamn intervention,โ Ryle mutters, shaking his head. Heโs annoyed, irritated, a little bit betrayed. Understandable. But he can either agree to cooperate, or he can fracture the few remaining relationships left in his life.
Ryle pegs me with a jaded stare. โWhat else?โ he asks, somewhat smugly.
โIโve given you more than enough grace, Ryle. You know I have. But from this point forward, please know that Emerson is what matters to me. If you do anything threatening or harmful to me or our daughter, I will sell everything I own to fight you in court.โ
โAnd Iโll help her,โ Allysa says. โI love you, but Iโll help her.โ
Ryleโs jaw is twitching. His expression is blank otherwise. He looks at Allysa and then at Marshall. The tension in the room is palpable, but so is the support. I could cry, Iโm so grateful for them.
I could cry for all the victims who donโtย haveย people like them.
Ryle stews over everything for a long beat. Itโs so quiet, but Iโve made the point I wanted to make, and Iโve made it obvious that thereโs no room for negotiation.
He eventually scoots back from the table and stands. He brings his hands to his hips and stares down at the floor. Then he drags in a long inhale before he heads for the kitchen door. Before he leaves, he looks back toward us, but makes eye contact with none of us. โIโm off this Thursday. Iโll be here around ten if you want to make sure Emerson is here.โ
He leaves, and as soon as he does, my shield of armor collapses, and I shatter. Allysa puts her arms around me, but Iโm not crying because Iโm upset. Iโm crying because I am so, so relieved. It actually feels like we accomplished something significant. โI donโt know what Iโd do without you two,โ I say through my tears, hugging Allysa.
She runs her hand over my hair and says, โYouโd be so miserable, Lily.โ We both start to laugh. Somehow.