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Chapter no 32 – Lilyโ€Œ

It Starts with Us (It Ends with Us, #2)

Are you at home?

The text is from Atlas, so I respond to it with, For a minute. Why?

I pack baby food into Emmyโ€™s diaper bag and then rush around the room, grabbing her a change of clothes. I throw a can of formula in as well, since Iโ€™m no longer breastfeeding, and then I scoop her up. โ€œYou ready to go see Rylee?โ€

Emmy smiles when I say Ryleeโ€™s name.

When I picked her up this morning from Allysaโ€™s, I had a talk with both her and Marshall about everything thatโ€™s happened with Ryle. Allysa agreed that it was smart to show my lawyer the texts he sent me. She also agreed that itโ€™s time we have a serious sit-down with Ryle. Iโ€™m nervous, but knowing she and Marshall have my back is extremely reassuring.

As soon as we make it to my front door, thereโ€™s a knock. I glance through the peephole, relieved to see Atlas standing there. But Josh isnโ€™t with him, so my heart immediately sinks.ย Did he actually choose to stay with his father over Atlas?ย I swing open the door.

โ€œWhat happened? Whereโ€™s Josh?โ€

Atlas smiles, and the assurance in his smile fills me with instant relief. โ€œItโ€™s fine. Heโ€™s at my house.โ€

I blow out a breath. โ€œOh. Why are you here, then?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m on my way to my restaurant. I was driving by and thought Iโ€™d run up and steal a hug.โ€

I smile, and he holds the door open for me. He canโ€™t give me a full-on hug since I have Emerson perched on my hip, so he gives me a quick kiss on the side of my head. โ€œLiar. My apartment isnโ€™t on your way. And itโ€™s Sundayโ€”your restaurant is closed.โ€

โ€œDetails,โ€ he says, waving off my point. โ€œWhere are you headed?โ€

โ€œAllysaโ€™s. Weโ€™re having dinner with them tonight.โ€ I hoist the diaper bag onto my shoulder, but he takes it from me.

โ€œIโ€™ll walk you out.โ€ He slings the diaper bag over his shoulder. Emmy reaches for him, and I think weโ€™re both a little surprised when she willingly transfers from my arms to his. She tucks her head against his chest, and the sight of it makes me pause for a second. It makes Atlas take a pause, too. But then he smiles at me and begins walking down to my car. He holds my hand the whole way.

I take Emmy from him and buckle her into her car seat. Weโ€™re finally in a position where Atlas can give me an actual hug, so he pulls me to him. His hug feels like an entire conversation. Heโ€™s holding me in a way that makes it feel like heโ€™s needing strengthโ€”like he wants to take a piece of me with him. โ€œWhere are you going again?โ€ I ask him, pulling back.

โ€œI really am going to my restaurant,โ€ he says. โ€œI asked Sutton to meet me there. We need to have a serious discussion about Josh, and Iโ€™d like to do it when itโ€™s just me and her. She feeds off an audience, so I refuse to give her one.โ€

โ€œWow. Iโ€™m actually on my way to Allysaโ€™s to have that sit-down with Ryle I told you I wanted. What is this, problem-solving Sunday?โ€

Atlas laughs softly. โ€œHopefully.โ€ I kiss him. โ€œGood luck.โ€

He smiles gently. โ€œYou too. Be safe, and call me as soon as you can.โ€ He presses his mouth to mine one last time, and then when he pulls away, he says, โ€œLove you, babe.โ€

He walks to his car, and I donโ€™t know why his words leave me so flustered, but Iโ€™m smiling as I get into my car.ย Love you, babe.ย Iโ€™m still smiling as I drive away. My good mood surprises me, considering what Iโ€™m on my way to do, and how itโ€™s more of a spontaneous intervention than a planned sit-down. Iย amย going to Allysa and Marshallโ€™s for dinner, but Ryle has no idea Iโ€™m heading over there with a purpose.

 

 

โ€œLasagna?โ€ I ask Marshall when he opens the front door. I could smell the garlic and tomatoes from the hallway.

โ€œAllysaโ€™s favorite,โ€ he says, closing the door behind me. He reaches for Emmy. โ€œCome to Uncle Marshall,โ€ he says, pulling her to him.

Sheโ€™s giggling as soon as he makes a face at her. Marshall is one of Emmyโ€™s favorite people, but I think weโ€™d be hard-pressed to find a kid who doesnโ€™t love Marshall. โ€œIs Allysa in the kitchen?โ€

Marshall nods. โ€œYeah. Heโ€™s in there, too,โ€ he says, whispering. โ€œWe didnโ€™t mention you were coming.โ€

โ€œOkay.โ€ I set Emmyโ€™s diaper bag down and head for the kitchen. I see Ryle and Allysaโ€™s mother sitting with Rylee in the living room when I pass by. I wave at her, and she smiles, but I donโ€™t stop to chat. I go in search of Allysa.

When I walk through the kitchen door, I find Ryle leaning over the bar, chatting casually with Allysa, but as soon as he makes eye contact with me, his spine stiffens and he stands up straight.

I donโ€™t react at all. I donโ€™t want Ryle to think he holds any sort of control over me anymore.

Allysa has been expecting me. She acknowledges me with a nod and then she closes the lasagna in the oven. โ€œPerfect timing.โ€ She drops the pot holders on the counter and points at the table. โ€œWe have forty-five minutes until itโ€™s ready,โ€ she says, guiding both Ryle and me toward the table.

โ€œWhat is this?โ€ Ryle asks, looking back and forth between the two of us. โ€œJust a conversation,โ€ Allysa says, urging him to take a seat. Ryle rolls

his eyes but reluctantly takes a seat across from both Allysa and me. He leans back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. Allysa looks over at me, giving me the floor.

Iโ€™m not sure why Iโ€™m not scared right now. Maybe Atlas already having had a conversation with Ryle has put most of my concerns to rest. Having Allysa and Marshall in the apartment with us also feels like a layer of protection. And Ryleโ€™s mother, even though she has no clue whatโ€™s about to transpire. Ryle keeps his behavior in check when his mother is around, so Iโ€™m grateful for her presence.

Whatever is giving me strength right now, I donโ€™t sit and question it. I take advantage of it. โ€œYou asked yesterday if I spoke to my lawyer,โ€ I say to Ryle. โ€œI did. She had some suggestions.โ€

Ryle chews on his bottom lip for a few seconds. Then he lifts a brow, indicating heโ€™s listening.

โ€œI want you to undergo anger management.โ€

As soon as the words come out of my mouth, Ryle laughs. He stands up, prepared to push in his chair and end this conversation, but as soon as he does, Allysa says, โ€œSit down, please.โ€

Ryle looks at her, and then me, and then back at her. Several seconds pass as he takes in whatโ€™s happening. Itโ€™s apparent he feels deceived right now, but Iโ€™m not here to give him empathy, and neither is his sister.

Ryle loves and respects Allysa, so he eventually returns to his seat, despite his current anger.

โ€œWhile youโ€™re undergoing anger management, I would prefer for your visits with Emerson to take place here, or somewhere Marshall or Allysa are present.โ€

Ryle swings his eyes to Allysa, and the look of betrayal he shoots her would have given me chills at one point in our past, but right now that look does nothing to me.

I continue. โ€œDepending on your interactions with me going forward, weโ€™ll decide as a family when we feel comfortable with you having unsupervised visits with the girls.โ€

โ€œTheย girls?โ€ Ryle repeats incredulously, looking at Allysa. โ€œDid she convince you Iโ€™m not safe around my own niece?โ€ His voice is louder now.

The kitchen door swings open, and Marshall walks in. He takes a seat at the head of the table and looks from Ryle to Allysa. โ€œYour mom has the girls in the living room,โ€ he says to Allysa. โ€œWhatโ€™d I miss?โ€

โ€œAre you aware of this?โ€ Ryle asks Marshall.

Marshall stares at him for a beat, and then leans forward. โ€œAm I aware you lost your temper with Lily last week and pinned her against a door? Or am I aware of the texts you sent her? Or the threats you made when she said she was talking to her lawyer?โ€

Ryle stares blankly at Marshall. His face reddens, but he doesnโ€™t immediately react. Heโ€™s trapped in a corner, and he knows it. โ€œA goddamn intervention,โ€ Ryle mutters, shaking his head. Heโ€™s annoyed, irritated, a little bit betrayed. Understandable. But he can either agree to cooperate, or he can fracture the few remaining relationships left in his life.

Ryle pegs me with a jaded stare. โ€œWhat else?โ€ he asks, somewhat smugly.

โ€œIโ€™ve given you more than enough grace, Ryle. You know I have. But from this point forward, please know that Emerson is what matters to me. If you do anything threatening or harmful to me or our daughter, I will sell everything I own to fight you in court.โ€

โ€œAnd Iโ€™ll help her,โ€ Allysa says. โ€œI love you, but Iโ€™ll help her.โ€

Ryleโ€™s jaw is twitching. His expression is blank otherwise. He looks at Allysa and then at Marshall. The tension in the room is palpable, but so is the support. I could cry, Iโ€™m so grateful for them.

I could cry for all the victims who donโ€™tย haveย people like them.

Ryle stews over everything for a long beat. Itโ€™s so quiet, but Iโ€™ve made the point I wanted to make, and Iโ€™ve made it obvious that thereโ€™s no room for negotiation.

He eventually scoots back from the table and stands. He brings his hands to his hips and stares down at the floor. Then he drags in a long inhale before he heads for the kitchen door. Before he leaves, he looks back toward us, but makes eye contact with none of us. โ€œIโ€™m off this Thursday. Iโ€™ll be here around ten if you want to make sure Emerson is here.โ€

He leaves, and as soon as he does, my shield of armor collapses, and I shatter. Allysa puts her arms around me, but Iโ€™m not crying because Iโ€™m upset. Iโ€™m crying because I am so, so relieved. It actually feels like we accomplished something significant. โ€œI donโ€™t know what Iโ€™d do without you two,โ€ I say through my tears, hugging Allysa.

She runs her hand over my hair and says, โ€œYouโ€™d be so miserable, Lily.โ€ We both start to laugh. Somehow.

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