CHRISTMAS CAROLS PLAYย in the grocery store while I load things into my overflowing cart.
Keep Hazel warm, keep Hazel fed, keep Hazel happy. Iโm in protector mode, and I love it. Taking care of her feels right and natural.
I normally spend the Christmas break in the gym or taking advantage of the empty rink schedule, but the idea of curling up on the couch with Hazel tonight blows all of that up. I used to hate my apartment, actively avoiding the empty, lonely penthouse overlooking the city, but with her there?
I canโt wait to get home.
Iโm loading the groceries into my car, snow falling around me, when my phone buzzes with a call. Iโm expecting something regarding the dinner Iโve ordered for us from a local restaurant, but my stomach tightens when I see the name flashing across the screen.
Dad.
Already, the weight settles in my gut. We havenโt talked in a couple weeks, and I forgot this feeling that floods my system when we do.
โRory,โ he says when I answer. โIโve been reviewing your recent games.โ
My eyes close. All we fucking talk about is hockey.
โIโm coming to a practice,โ he says. โI need to see what Ward is putting in your head.โ
โNo.โ Anxiety shoots up my throat. โHe runs closed practices. He doesnโt like spectators. He says itโs distracting.โ
I donโt know if thatโs true, but Iโve never seen someone outside of the organization watching our practices, and I sure as fuck donโt want my dad
there taking notes.
He sighs. โWell, Iโm coming to the League Classic next week, then.โ
Iโm looking forward to the game on New Yearโs Eve. I booked a super nice suite, because yes, even now, Iโm shamelessly trying to impress Hazel. The game is our deadline for this agreement to get back at McKinnon, but itโs gone so much further than that.
She has feelings for me. I know she does. The League Classic weekend will be special, so I donโt want my dad there, telling me all the reasons Iโm not good enough.
โI donโt think thatโs a good idea,โ I tell him, rubbing the back of my neck.
Thereโs a long pause on the other end of the line. โWhatโs going on with you lately?โ
Hazel. Hazelโs whatโs going on with me. Sheโs become my entire life, but my dad would never understand that.
โYouโre different this season,โ he adds, a note of frustration in his voice. โYouโre playing differently, youโre acting differentlyโฆ I donโt know who you are anymore. Whereโs the star, Rory?โ
Heโs long gone, and Iโm happy to see him go. โI donโt know what to tell you.โ
โItโs that girl.โ
โHazel.โ That protective feeling rises through me. โHer name is Hazel.โ โYouโre distracted.โ
โIโm not distracted, Dad.โ Am I distracted if I feel like everything Iโve ever wanted is shifting into place? This conversation isnโt going anywhere. โI need to go.โ
โBig plans tonight, huh.โ
Thereโs something in his voice that makes me frown. Resentment, or loneliness or something. โYeah. Iโll talk to you later.โ
We say our terse goodbyes and I finish loading the groceries into the car. My mind wanders to the girl waiting at home for me, and the anxiety fades.
My dadโs rightโI am different, and itโs because of her. With Hazel by my side, Iโm nothing like him. Maybe I never was, and she showed me that. Footsteps crunch in the snow, and two women walk past, carrying a
Christmas tree.
โMerry Christmas,โ one of them says with a big smile.
I nod back, staring at the tree. โMerry Christmas.โ
On the other end of the parking lot, snow falls on the remaining Christmas trees, and I smile.
Hazelโs missing Christmas with her family, so Iโm going to make this one memorable.