On Sunday, my parents take me and my brothers on a trip.
It seems like a normal visit to Uncle Carlosโs house until we pass his neighborhood. A little over five minutes later, a brick sign surrounded by colorful shrubs welcomes us to Brook Falls.
Single-story brick houses line freshly paved streets. Black kids, white kids, and everything in between play on the sidewalks and in yards. Open garage doors show all of the junk inside, and bikes and scooters lay abandoned in yards. Nobodyโs worried about their stuff getting stolen in the middle of the day.
It reminds me of Uncle Carlosโs neighborhood yet itโs different. For one, thereโs no gate around it, so theyโre not keeping anyone out or in, but obviously people feel safe. The houses are smaller, more homey looking. And straight up? There are more people who look like us compared to Uncle Carlosโs neighborhood.
Daddy pulls into the driveway of a brown-brick house at the end of a cul-de-sac. Bushes and small trees decorate the yard, and a cobblestone walkway leads up to the front door.
โCโmon, yโall,โ Daddy says.
We hop out, stretching and yawning. Those forty-five-minute drives arenโt a joke. A chubby black man waves at us from the driveway next door. We wave back and follow my parents up the walkway. Through the glass of the front door, the house appears empty.
โWhose house is this?โ Seven asks.
Daddy unlocks the door. โHopefully ours.โ
When we go inside, weโre standing in the living room. Thereโs a strong stench of paint and polished hardwood floors. Two halls, one on each side, lead away from the living room. The kitchen is right off from the living room with white cabinets, granite countertops, and stainless- steel appliances.
โWe wanted you guys to see it,โ Momma says. โLook around.โ I canโt lie, Iโm afraid to move. โThis isย ourย house?โ
โLike I said, we hope so,โ Daddy replies. โWeโre waiting for the mortgage to be approved.โ
โCan we afford it?โ Seven asks.
Momma raises an eyebrow. โYes, we can.โ โBut like down payments and stuffโโ
โSeven!โ I hiss. Heโs always in somebodyโs business.
โWe got everything taken care of,โ Daddy says. โWeโll rent the house in the Garden out, so thatโs gonโ help with the monthly payments. Plus
. . .โ He looks at Momma with this sly grin thatโs kinda adorable, I gotta admit.
โI got the nurse manager job at Markham,โ she says, smiling. โI start in two weeks.โ
โFor real?โ I say, and Seven goes, โWhoa,โ while Sekani shouts, โMommaโs rich!โ
โBoy, ainโt nobody rich,โ Daddy says. โCalm down.โ โBut this helps,โ says Momma. โA lot.โ
โDaddy, youโre okay with us living out here with the fake people?โ Sekani asks.
โWhere you get that from, Sekani?โ Momma says.
โWell, thatโs what he always says. That people out here are fake, and that Garden Heights is real.โ
โYeah, he does say that,โ says Seven. I nod. โAll. The. Time.โ
Momma folds her arms. โCare to explain, Maverick?โ โI donโt say itย thatย muchโโ
โYeah, you do,โ the rest of us say.
โAโight, I say it a lot. I may not have been one hundred percent right on all of thisโโ
Momma coughs, but thereโs a โHaโ hidden in it.
Daddy glares at her. โBut I realize being real ainโt got anything to do with where you live. The realest thing I can do is protect my family, and that means leaving Garden Heights.โ
โWhat else?โ Momma questions, like heโs being grilled in front of the class.
โAnd that living in the suburbs donโt make you any less black than living in the hood.โ
โThank you,โ she says with a satisfied smile.
โNow are yโall gonโ look around or what?โ Daddy asks.
Seven hesitates to move, and since heโs hesitant, Sekani is too. But shoot, I want first dibs on a room. โWhere are the bedrooms?โ
Momma points to the hall on the left. I guess Seven and Sekani realize why I asked. The three of us exchange looks.
We rush for the hall. Sekani gets there first, and itโs not my best moment, but I sling his scrawny butt back.
โMommy, she threw me!โ he whines.
I beat Seven to the first room. Itโs bigger than my current room but not as big as I want. Seven reaches the second one, looks around, and I guess he doesnโt like it. That leaves the third room as the biggest one, and itโs at the end of the hall.
Seven and I race for it, and itโs like Harry Potter versus Cedric Diggory trying to get to the Goblet of Fire. I grab Sevenโs shirt, stretching it until I have a good enough grip to pull him back and get ahead of him. I beat him to the room and open the door.
And itโs smaller than the first one.
โI call dibs!โ Sekani shouts. He shimmies in the doorway of the first room, the biggest of the three.
Seven and I rock, paper, scissor it for the second-biggest room. Seven always goes with rock or paper, so I easily win.
Daddy leaves to get lunch, and Momma shows us the rest of the house. My brothers and I have to share a bathroom again. Sekaniโs finally learned aim etiquette and the art of flushing, so itโs fine, I guess. The master suite is on the other hallway. Thereโs a laundry room, an unfinished basement, and a two-car garage. Momma says weโll get a basketball hoop on wheels. We can keep it in the garage, roll it in front of the house, and play in the cul-de-sac sometimes. A wooden fence surrounds the backyard, and thereโs plenty of space for Daddyโs garden and Brickz.
โBrickz can come out here, right?โ I ask. โOf course. We arenโt gonna leave him.โ
Daddy brings burgers and fries, and we eat on the kitchen floor. Itโs super quiet out here. Dogs bark sometimes, but wall-rattling music and gunshots? Not happening.
โSo, weโre gonna close in the next few weeks or so,โ Momma says, โbut since itโs the end of the school year, weโll wait until you guys are out for summer to move.โ
โโCause moving ainโt no joke,โ Daddy adds.
โHopefully, we can get settled in before you go off to college, Seven,โ Momma says. โPlus it gives you a chance to make your room yours, so you can have it for holidays and the summer.โ
Sekani slurps his milk shake and says with a mouth full of froth, โSeven said heโs not going to college.โ
Daddy says, โWhat?โ
Seven glares at Sekani. โI didnโt say I wasnโt going to college. I said I wasnโt goingย awayย to college. Iโm going to Central Community so I can be around for Kenya and Lyric.โ
โOh, hell no,โ Daddy says.
โYou canโt be serious,โ says Momma.
Central Community is the junior college on the edge of Garden Heights. Some people call it Garden Heights High 2.0 โcause so many people from Garden High go there and take the same drama and bullshit with them.
โThey have engineering classes,โ Seven argues.
โBut they donโt have the same opportunities as those schools you applied to,โ Momma says. โDo you realize what youโre passing up? Scholarships, internshipsโโ
โThe chance for me to finally have a Seven-free life,โ I add, and slurp my milk shake.
โWho asked you?โ Seven says. โYoโ momma.โ
Low blow, I know, but that response comes naturally. Seven flicks a fry at me. I block it and come this close to flipping him off, but Momma says, โYou betโ not!โ and I lower my finger.
โLook, you not responsible for your sisters,โ Daddy says, โbut Iโm responsible for you. And I ainโt letting you pass up opportunities so you can do what two grown-ass people supposed to do.โ
โA dollar, Daddy,โ Sekani points out.
โI love that you look out for Kenya and Lyric,โ Daddy tells Seven, โbut thereโs only so much you can do. You can choose whatever college you want, and youโll be successful. But you choose because thatโs where you wanna be. Not because you trying to do somebody elseโs job. You hear me?โ
โYeah,โ Seven says.
Daddy hooks his arm around Sevenโs neck and pulls him closer.
Daddy kisses his temple. โI love you. And I always got your back.โ
After lunch we gather in the living room, join hands, and bow our heads.
โBlack Jesus, thank you for this blessing,โ Daddy says. โEven when we werenโt so crazy about the idea of movingโโ
Momma clears her throat.
โOkay, whenย Iย wasnโt so crazy about the idea of moving,โ Daddy corrects, โyou worked things out. Thank you for Lisaโs new job. Please help her and continue to be with her when she does extra shifts at the clinic. Help Sekani with his end-of-the-year tests. And thank you, Lord, for helping Seven do something I didnโt, get a high school diploma. Guide him as he chooses a college and let him know youโre protecting Kenya and Lyric.
โNow, Lord, tomorrow is a big day for my baby girl as she goes before this grand jury. Please give her peace and courage. As much as I wanna ask you to work this case out a certain way, I know you already got a plan. I ask for some mercy, God. Thatโs all. Mercy for Garden Heights, for Khalilโs family, for Starr. Help all of us through this. In your precious nameโโ
โWait,โ Momma says.
I peek out with one eye. Daddy does too. Momma never,ย ever
interrupts prayer.
โUh, baby,โ says Daddy, โI was finishing up.โ
โI have something to add. Lord, bless my mom, and thank you that she went into her retirement fund and gave us the money for the down payment. Help us turn the basement into a suite so she can stay here sometimes.โ
โNo, Lord,โ Daddy says. โYes, Lord,โ says Momma. โNo, Lord.โ
โYes.โ
โNo, amen!โ
We get home in time to catch a playoffs game.
Basketball season equals war in our house. Iโm a LeBron fan through and through. Miami, Cleveland, it doesnโt matter. I ride with him. Daddy hasnโt jumped off the Lakers ship yet, but he likes LeBron. Sevenโs all about the Spurs. Mommaโs an โanybody but LeBronโ hater, and Sekani is a โwhoever is winningโ fan.
Itโs Cleveland versus Chicago tonight. The battle lines are drawnโ me and Daddy versus Seven and Momma. Seven jumps on that โanybody but LeBronโ bandwagon of hateration too.
I change into my LeBron jersey. Every time I donโt wear it, his team loses. Seriously, Iโm not even lying. I canโt wash it either. Momma washed my last jersey right before Finals, and Miami lost to the Spurs. I think she did it on purpose.
I take my lucky spot in the den in front of the sectional. Seven comes in and steps over me, putting his big bare foot near my face. I smack it away. โGet your crusty foot outta my face.โ
โWeโll see whoโs joking later. Ready for a butt whooping?โ โYou mean am I ready to give one? Yep!โ
Momma peeks around the doorway. โMunch, you want some ice cream?โ
I gape at her. Sheย knowsย I donโt eat dairy products during games.
Dairy gives me gas, and gas is bad luck.
She grins. โHow about a sundae? Sprinkles, strawberry syrup, whipped cream.โ
I cover my ears. โLa-la-la-la-la, go away, LeBron hater. La-la-la-la-
la.โ
Like I said, basketball season equals war, and my family has the
dirtiest tactics.
Momma returns with a big bowl, shoveling ice cream into her mouth. She sits on the sectional and lowers her bowl into my face. โYou sure you donโt want some, Munch? Itโs your favorite too. Cake batter. So good!โ
Be strong, I tell myself, but damn, that ice cream looks good. Strawberry syrup glistens on it and a big dollop of whipped cream sits pretty on top. I close my eyes. โI want a championship more.โ
โWell, you arenโt getting that, so you may as well enjoy some ice cream.โ
โHa!โ Seven goes.
โWhatโs all this smack up in here?โ Daddy asks.
He takes the recliner on the sectional, his lucky spot. Sekani scurries in and sits behind me, propping his bare feet on my shoulders. I donโt mind. They havenโt matured and funkified yet.
โI was offering Munch some of my sundae,โ Momma says. โYou want some, baby?โ
โHeck, nah. You know I donโt eat dairy during games.โ See? Itโs serious.
โYou and Seven may as well get ready for this butt whooping Cleveland โbout to give yโall,โ says Daddy. โI mean, it ainโt gonโ be a Kobe butt whooping, but itโs gonโ be a good one.โ
โAmen!โ I say. Except the Kobe part.
โBoy, bye,โ Momma tells him. โYouโre always picking sorry teams.
First the Lakersโโ
โAy, a three-peat ainโt a sorry team, baby. And I donโt always pick sorry teams.โ He grins. โI picked your team, didnโt I?โ
Momma rolls her eyes, but sheโs grinning too, and I hate to admit it but theyโre kinda cute right now. โYeah,โ she says, โthatโs the only time you picked right.โ
โUh-huh,โ Daddy says. โSee, your momma played for Saint Maryโs basketball team, and they had a game against Garden High, my school.โ
โAnd we whooped their butts too,โ Momma says, licking ice cream off her spoon. โThem liโl girls ainโt have anything on us. Iโm just saying.โ
โAnyway, Iโm there to watch some of the homeboys play after the girlsโ game,โ Daddy says, looking at Momma. This is so adorable, I canโt stand it. โI got there early and saw the finest girl ever, and she was playing her ass off on the court.โ
โTell them what you did,โ says Momma, although we know. โAy, I was trying toโโ
โNah, nah, tell them what you did,โ she says. โI tried to get your attention.โ
โUh-uh!โ Momma says, getting up. She hands me her bowl and stands in front of the TV. โYou were like this on the sideline,โ she says, and she kinda leans to the side, holding her crotch and licking her lips. We crack up. I can so see Daddy doing that too.
โDuring the middle of a game!โ she says. โStanding there looking like a pervert, just watching me.โ
โBut you noticed me,โ Daddy says. โRight?โ
โโCause you looked like a fool! Then, during halftime, Iโm on the bench, and heโs behind me, talking aboutโโshe deepens her voice
โโโAy! Ay, shorty. Whatโs your name? You know you looking good out there. Can I get your number?โโ
โDang, Pops, you didnโt have any game,โ Seven says. โI had game!โ Daddy argues.
โDid you get her number that night though?โ Seven says. โI mean, I was working on itโโ
โDid you get her number?โ I repeat Sevenโs question.
โNah,โ he admits, and weโre hollering laughing. โMan, whatever.
Hate all yโall want. I eventually did something right.โ
โYeah,โ Momma admits, running her fingers through my hair. โYou did.โ
By the second quarter of Cleveland versus Chicago, weโre yelling and shouting at the TV. When LeBron steals the ball, I jump up, and bam! He dunks it.
โIn yoโ face!โ I yell at Momma and Seven. โIn yoโ face!โ
Daddy gives me a high five and claps. โThatโs what Iโm talking โbout!โ
Momma and Seven roll their eyes.
I sit in my โgame timeโ positionโknees pulled in, right arm draped over my head and holding my left ear, and my left thumb in my mouth. Donโt hate. It works. Clevelandโs offense and defense is on point. โLetโs go, Cavs!โ
Glass shatters. Then,ย pop, pop, pop,ย pop.ย Gunshots. โGet down!โ Daddy yells.
Iโm already down. Sekani comes down next to me, then Momma on top of us, and she wraps her arms around us. Daddyโs feet thud toward the front of the house and the hinges on the front door squeak as it swings open. Tires screech off.
โMothafโโ Gunshots cut Daddy off.
My heart stops. For a split second, I visit a world without my dad, and it doesnโt seem like much of a world at all.
But his footsteps rush back in. โYโall aโight?โ
The weight on top of me lifts. Momma says sheโs okay, and Sekani says he is too. Seven echoes them.
Daddyโs holding his Glock. โI shot at them fools,โ he says between heavy breaths. โI think I hit a tire. Ainโt never seen that car before.โ
โDid they shoot in the house?โ Momma asks.
โYeah, a couple shots through the front window,โ he says. โThey threw something too. Landed in the living room.โ
I head for the front.
โStarr! Get back here!โ Momma calls.
Iโm too curious and too hardheaded. Glass shards glisten all over Mommaโs good sofa. A brick sits in the middle of the floor.
Momma calls Uncle Carlos. He gets to our house in half an hour.
Daddy hasnโt stopped pacing the den, and he hasnโt put his Glock down. Seven takes Sekani to bed. Momma has her arm around me on the sectional and wonโt let go.
Some of our neighbors checked in, like Mrs. Pearl and Ms. Jones. Mr. Charles from next door rushed over, holding his own piece. None of them saw who did it.
Doesnโt matter who did it. It was clearly a message for me.
I have this sick feeling like I got when I ate ice cream and played in hot weather too long when I was younger. Ms. Rosalie said the heat โboiledโ my stomach and that something cool would settle it. Nothing cool can settle this.
โDid you call the police?โ Uncle Carlos asks.
โHell nah!โ says Daddy. โHow I know it wasnโt them?โ
โMaverick, you still shouldโve called,โ Uncle Carlos says. โThis needs to be recorded, and they can send someone to guard the house.โ
โOh, I got somebody to guard the house. Donโt worry about that. It definitely ainโt gonโ be no crooked pig who may have been behind this.โ
โKing Lords couldโve done this!โ says Uncle Carlos. โDidnโt you say King made a veiled threat against Starr because of her interview?โ
โIโm not going tomorrow,โ I say, but I have a better chance of being heard at a Drake concert.
โIt ainโt no damn coincidence that somebodyโs trying to scare us the night before she testifies to the grand jury,โ Daddy says. โThatโs some shit your buddies would do.โ
โYouโd be surprised at how many of us want justice in this case,โ says Uncle Carlos. โBut of course, classic Maverick. Every cop is automatically a bad cop.โ
โIโm not going tomorrow,โ I repeat.
โI ainโt say every cop is a bad cop, but I ainโt gonโ stand here like a fool, thinking that some of them donโt do dirty shit. Hell, they made me lay face-down on the sidewalk. And for what? โCause they could!โ
โIt couldโve been either one of them,โ Momma says. โTrying to figure out who did it will get us nowhere. The main thing is making sure Starr is safe tomorrowโโ
โI said Iโm not going!โ I shout.
They finally hear me. My stomach holds a roiling boil. โYeah, it couldโve been King Lords, but what if it was the cops?โ I look at Daddy and remember that moment weeks ago in front of the store. โI thought they were gonna kill you,โ I croak. โBecause of me.โ
He kneels in front of me and sits the Glock beside my feet. He lifts my chin. โPoint one of the Ten-Point Program. Say it.โ
My brothers and I learned to recite the Black Panthersโ Ten-Point Program the same way other kids learn the Pledge of Allegiance.
โโWe want freedom,โโ I say. โโWe want the power to determine the destiny of our black and oppressed communities.โโ
โSay it again.โ
โโWe want freedom. We want the power to determine the destiny of our black and oppressed communities.โโ
โPoint seven.โ
โโWe want an immediate end to police brutality,โโ I say, โโand the murder of black people, other people of color, and oppressed people.โโ
โAgain.โ
โโWe want an immediate end to police brutality and the murder of black people, other people of color, and oppressed people.โโ
โAnd what did Brother Malcolm say is our objective?โ
Seven and I could recite Malcolm X quotes by the time we were thirteen. Sekani hasnโt gotten there yet.
โโComplete freedom, justice, and equality,โโ I say, โโby any means necessary.โโ
โAgain.โ
โโComplete freedom, justice, and equality, by any means necessary.โโ โSo why you gonโ be quiet?โ Daddy asks.
Because the Ten-Point Program didnโt work for the Panthers. Huey Newton died a crackhead, and the government crushed the Panthers one by one.ย By any means necessaryย didnโt keep Brother Malcolm from dying, possibly at the hands of his own people. Intentions always look better on paper than in reality. The reality is, I may not make it to the courthouse in the morning.
Two loud knocks at the front door startle us.
Daddy straightens up, grabs his Glock, and leaves to answer. He says whatโs up to somebody, and thereโs a sound like palms slapping. Then a male voice says, โYou know we got you, Big Mav.โ
Daddy returns with some tall, wide-shouldered guys dressed in gray and black. Itโs a lighter gray than what King and his folks wear. It takes a hood-trained eye to notice it and understand. This is a different set of King Lords.
โThis is Goon.โ Daddy points to the shortest one, in front with the ponytails. โHim and his boys gonโ provide security for us tonight and tomorrow.โ
Uncle Carlos folds his arms and gives the King Lords a hard look. โYou asked King Lords to guard the house when King Lords may have put us in this position?โ
โThey donโt mess with King,โ Daddy says. โThey Cedar Grove King Lords.โ
Shit, they may as well be GDs then. Sets make all the difference in gangbanging, not colors. The Cedar Grove King Lords have been
beefing with Kingโs set, the West Side King Lords, for a while now. โYou need us to fall back, Big Mav?โ Goon asks.
โNah, donโt worry about him,โ Daddy says. โYโall do what yโall came to do.โ
โNothing but a thang,โ Goon says, and gives Daddy dap. Him and his boys head back outside.
โAre you serious right now?โ Uncle Carlos yells. โYou really think gangbangers can provide adequate security?โ
โThey strapped, ainโt they?โ Daddy says.
โRidiculous!โ Uncle Carlos looks at Momma. โLook, Iโll go with you to the courthouse tomorrow as long as they arenโt coming too.โ
โPunk ass,โ Daddy says. โCanโt even protect your niece โcause you scared of what itโll look like to your fellow cops if youโre working with gangbangers.โ
โOh, you wanna go there, Maverick?โ Uncle Carlos says. โCarlos, calm down.โ
โNo, Lisa. I wanna make sure I got this right. Does he mean the same niece I took care of while he was locked up? Huh? The one I took to her first day of school because he took a charge for his so-called boy? The one I held when she cried for her daddy?โ
Heโs loud, and Momma stands in front of him to keep him from Daddy.
โYou can call me as many names as you want, Maverick, but donโt you ever say I donโt care about my niece and nephews! Yeah, thatโs right, nephews! Seven too. When you were locked upโโ
โCarlos,โ Momma says.
โNo, he needs to hear this. When you were locked up, I helped Lisa every time your sorry-ass baby momma dropped Seven off on her for weeks at a time. Me! I bought clothes, food, provided shelter. My Uncle Tom ass! Hell no, I donโt wanna work with criminals, but donโt you ever insinuate I donโt care about any of those kids!โ
Daddyโs mouth makes a line. Heโs silent.
Uncle Carlos snatches his keys off the coffee table, gives my forehead two pecks, and leaves. The front door slams shut.