Iย DIDNโT CALLย SHELLY. Not after the discussion Colt and Iโd had about children. It was one thing to sayย I love you.ย It was another to decide whether or not you were going to create a new life together. Just because you loved someone didnโt mean it was forever. Maybe it had been that way for Coltโs parents. Maybe theyโd chosen each other above all else and it didnโt matter if they agreed or disagreed about the big things.
Iโd never witnessed a long marriage. Gramps hadnโt even been alive when I was born. I hadnโt grown up with a father, and Iโd never seen my mother interact with another man. Even though sheโd passed when I was really young, there was no hazy vision of me spending time with any father figure.
โThis is why I donโt do relationships,โ I muttered, loading the few dishes that rested in the sink into the dishwasher.
โWhy donโt you do relationships?โ
I jumped and yelped, not having heard Colt approach. A coffee mug slammed against the faucet and broke into a few large pieces. โDamn.โ
โLet me clean it up. With your luck, youโre liable to cut the shit out of yourself,โ Colt said, his tone gruff. He came all the way into the kitchen and sauntered over to me.
He grasped the pieces of the broken mug and walked to the trash. He wiped his hands on his jeans and then returned to stand directly behind me,
caging me in with his hands on the counter. โWhy donโt you do relationships?โ His breath was warm and teased my skin.
I shivered. โBecause Iโm not good at them. I say the wrong things because Iโm emotional first, rational later.โ
โWhen are you ever rational?โ he teased.
I gently elbowed him in the gut, causing him to grunt. โFirst of all,โ Colt began, โevery relationship is a failure except the one that works. You and I work.โ
โYou donโt know that. Our relationship is barely longer than a mayflyโs gestational period. It was stupid. This whole thing was stupid.โ
I attempted to duck under his arm to get away, but he wouldnโt let me.
His hands went to my arms to gently turn me around to face him. โLook at me,โ he said quietly.
โNo.โ I pinched my eyes shut.
โMia,โ he said, laughter in his tone. โWill you please look at me? I want to say something to you.โ
โSo say it. I donโt need to look at you to hear you. You donโt listen with your eyes.โ
โBut youโll see the truth in my expression. Please, babe, open your eyes.โ
Finally, I lifted my eyelids and tilted my head back to stare at him. His hands came up from my hips to cradle my cheeks.
โYou should always speak your mind. There will be times that I donโt want to hear it. Times that I disagree with you. Times that I agree with you. There will be times that I know youโre right, but wish you were wrong. Or Iโll know youโre wrong but wish you were right.โ One of his hands left my face to brush against the bandage peeking out from my tank top.
โThis? This wasnโt a whim. It wasnโt bullshit. If you donโt buy that this is real or for the long haul, then I donโt know what I can do to prove that it is. Time is my only proof, I guess. I know the only thing that will make you
realize itโs legit is by showing you. So you can do whatever the fuck you want to and try to push me away.โ He pressed his forehead to mine. โI wonโt go. You want to call me a criminal. Fine. I am. You want to tell me you donโt want babies with me because you donโt want them to grow up to be criminals? Well, I get it. But I donโt see myself that way even though itโs true. Itโs all true. You donโt know shit about this way of life yet because all youโve been exposed to is Dev and youโve seen Richieโs burned, tortured body. Give me some time and I promise you youโll see it all differently.โ
โColt,โ I whispered.
โMy name is James,โ he said, his tone raspy. โJames Stewart Weston, and when I marry you, youโll be a Weston. And when we have kidsโ because damn it, there needs to be tiny yous running around in this world, theyโll be Westons too. There needs to be more light in this shit-as-fuck world. And the only way I know how to leave it a better place is to give it a piece of you. Because youโre all fucking heart and I know that. I know it in my soul, Mia. I swore Iโd protect you and keep you safe. That goes for our family too. Iโll protect you,โ he repeated. โAll of you.โ
The tears that had been hovering finally came with an intensity I couldnโt hold back. Nothing could contain them, and I let out a heaving sob.
From that moment I knew that whatever Colt was, whatever life path he was on, I would be there for him.
I would ride beside him as his woman, forever.
โIโve been alone so long,โ I whispered. โI didnโt even know what a family is supposed to look like.โ
โIt can look however you want, honey. But donโt say no because youโre scared. Donโt say no because you think youโll fail. You canโt fail, not with me. I choose you and I will not leave you.โ
โEveryone leaves,โ I said, my tears blurring my vision. โThey donโt mean to, but they do.โ
โNot me. Iโm not gonna die and leave you alone. Whoever has the rights to my soul will have to drag me kicking and screaming. You give me too much to live for. So whatever shit we have to get through now, we will. Weโll endure. Together.โ
His words left me breathless, like a powerful aphrodisiac. This strong, brave manโI knew he couldnโt protect me from everything. He couldnโt shield me from all that life would throw at us. That wasnโt the point. The point was heโd be with me through it all.
โI need to feel you,โ I whispered.
His hands dropped from my body so he could step away. His eyes were dark.
I leaned against the edge of the counter, widening my legs ever so slightly.
He swallowed. โI donโtโI canโtโbe gentle.โ โIโm not asking for gentle.โ
He took me into his arms and our lips crashed together. We tore at each otherโs clothes in a mindless frenzy. I was still in Coltโs boxers and my tank top so it took no effort to slither out of them. His hands went to my hair and his lips found mine again as he started walking backward.
I pulled my mouth from his. โWhere are you going?โ
โTrying to get you upstairs. Youโre walking naked through my house, you know.โ
โI thought it was our house?โ I asked with a grin. โDamn right, itโsย ourย house.โ
โThey why arenโt we having sex on our kitchen floor?โ
โIโm out of condoms,โ he said with a chuckle. โI have more in my dresser drawer upstairs.โ
I inhaled a shaky breath as I forced myself to meet his gaze. โWe donโt need them.โ
โWe donโt?โ he asked, his tone equally as flat as mine.
โI get the shot. Iโmโprotected.โ โYou sure?โ
I nodded.
โWhat if something happens?โ โThen something happens.โ
His mouth swooped in to take mine. For all his dominance, this kiss was sensual, tender. Full of emotion that wasnโt just about lust, but about something so much deeper.
Love.
It was about love.
It was about promise. A promise of the life weโd share together until death parted us.
I kissed him back just as eagerly, wrapping my arms around him. We sank to the floor. True to Coltโs fantasy, I was on top, straddling him, completely naked. Only he still had all his clothes on.
I helped remove them as fast as possible. Our eyes met, our fingers grazed skin. I took him into my body with no barriers between us. All our walls were down.
โChrist.โ He swallowed. His brown eyes looked bright against his skin.
Iโd never felt anything like it. Iโd never been with a man without a condom. It was the ultimate bond of trust between us.
This beautiful, inked, criminal wanted to protect and shield me. He wanted a family with me. He wanted a life with me, and I wanted one with him.
Emotion that I had beaten back suddenly trailed down my cheeks. Coltโs hands reached up to cradle my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away. When we came, we came together, and my heart was no longer mine, but had been given fully to the man beneath me.
I rested my cheek against his skin and closed my eyes. I breathed him in, savoring the moment, knowing that when we put our clothes back on weโd go back to being Colt and Mia. For now, we were just two hearts beating as one; bare, naked, unprotected.
โWas it everything you hoped it would be?โ I asked, finally lifting my face and setting my chin on his breastbone.
He tilted his chin to peer down at me, a slight grin on his lips. โIt was better. I shouldโve known it wouldโve been that way. It was a damn good fantasy come to life.โ
I smiled and slowly raised myself off him.
โAh, I need a towel,โ I said, feeling my cheeks flush. โIโm kindaโฆโ โKinda what?โ
โYouโre allโahโฆโ
He laughed, a large booming sound that I swore shook the walls of the house.
โDish towel hanging from the oven.โ
He got up and looked around for his boxers. Colt was just sliding into them when the front door opened, causing Colt and I to look at each other in confusion. Just in the nick of time, I managed to dive behind Coltโs huge, brawny form before Zip strolled in.
โWhat the fuck,โ Colt barked. โYou canโt just walk in unannounced.โ โThen why did you give me a key?โ
I reached for the red and white checkered tablecloth on the kitchen table, one ear listening to Colt lay into Zip. The bowl of fruit rested in the center, but I managed to grab the edge of the cloth and pull it toward me. Unfortunately, the fruit spilled onto the floor, an orange rolling past Colt.
โFruit suicide,โ I said and then let out a laugh as I dragged the tablecloth around me.
โIs she drunk?โ Zip asked.
โNope,โ I voiced. โJust trying to ease the tension before Colt levels you to the ground.โ
Zip suddenly smiled. โI donโt think itโs working. He still looks like he wants to smash my face in.โ
โMy woman is naked,โ Colt stated. โGood thing sheโs small and can hide behind me out of sight. Now get the fuck out onto the porch. Iโll be with you in a minute.โ
Zip laughed but left. A moment later the front door slammed shut.
Colt looked over his shoulder at me and I gave him a cheeky grin, but he wasnโt amused. โNo one else gets to see you like this. Do you hear me?โ I hugged him from behind. โI donโt want anyone else to see me like this.
Okay? Go talk to Zip about whatever it is he needs.โ
โWhat makes you think he needs anything except destroying my post orgasm serenity?โ he asked, though he sounded mollified.
โIntuition.โ I stood up on my tiptoes. โIโll head upstairs. Shower. Finish packing. I need to call Shelly anyway.โ
Coltโs arms enclosed my waist. โHoller if you need help.โ โHelp? Help with what?โ
He grinned. โCleaning those hard to reach dirty places.โ Colt lightly smacked me on the butt and I left the kitchen before he had a chance to get me naked again.
โYou. Did. What?โ Shelly screeched.
I held the phone away from my ear and winced, letting her get out all her emotion.
โAre you done?โ I asked.
โWell, I donโt know,โ she admitted. โI canโt believe youโwellโyou got a tattoo? And youโre like, Coltโs woman? His Old Lady?โ
โYouโve got Markโs ring on your finger. Whatโs the difference?โ I demanded, suddenly losing my patience.
She fell silent and I instantly felt terrible. โListen,โ I said. โYouโre my best friend in the entire world. Youโre my soul sister. I want you to be happy for me and celebrate this.โ
Shelly paused on the other end of the line. โI am happy for you. I really am. But I canโt help but worry about you. Youโre not the girl that makes these kind of decisions at the drop of a hat.โ
โRichieโs dead,โ I blurted out. โThe Iron Horsemen dumped his mutilated body in front of the Blue Angelsโ clubhouse.โ
โHeโs dead?โ
โYep. I saw his body, Shelly. I saw what they did to him.โ
โJesus, Mia. Seriously?โ She exhaled slowly. โIs this why you jumped into a relationship with Colt? Because youโre scared of the Iron Horsemen?โ
โI jumped into a relationship with Colt because I love him.โ
โYou admit that you jumped. And how the hell can you be in love with him? You barely know him.โ
โI know him.โ โYou donโt.โ
I pinched the bridge of my nose. โI really donโt want to argue with you.โ โAll right.โ
Her tone was frosty and I understood why. She felt like she was being shut down, unable to give her opinion on my relationship and love life. Sheโd wanted me to meet someone; she just hadnโt wanted it to be a biker.
โThereโs a party tonight at the Blue Angelsโ clubhouse,โ I said, offering her the olive branch. โI hope you come.โ
โIโll think about it,โ she said.
โYouโre breaking my heart, you know?โ I said softly.
โOkay.โ She sighed. โIโll be there. Even though I donโt understand.โ โBut you love me anyway?โ
โAlways and forever, soul sister. I just want you to be happy.โ
โI am.โ
โGood.โ
I smiled. โWill Mark be able to come?โ
โHeโs got a work thing. But I promise weโll have you over soon. You and Colt.โ
Something unfurled inside of me. Iโd have Shelly and the Blue Angels. I didnโt want them at odds. I wanted Shelly comfortable, and if she saw how the Blue Angels treated me, then she might change her mind about what I had gotten myself into.
โCanโt wait to see you,โ I said. โItโs been too long.โ โWay too long.โ
โSee you soon,โ I said, hanging up.
I took a quick shower and changed into a black halter dress that didnโt conceal my bandage. I pulled my hair into a loose side braid and just as I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup, Colt walked into the bathroom.
His gaze raked over me. โYouโre gorgeous.โ
โThank you,โ I said with a smile, my eyes still on my reflection so I didnโt poke my eye out with the mascara wand. โWhat did Zip want?โ
โWanted to talk about Joni,โ he said. โWhat about Joni?โ
โAbout when she goes back to work. He wants a brother to drive her to and from her shift. Stay at the hospital while sheโs there.โ
โThatโs overkill, donโt you think?โ I asked. I shoved the wand back in its tube and screwed it shut.
โShe lives alone, which I hate. Sheโs staying at the clubhouse for the next little while, which sheโll completely balk at, knowing her. I know she wonโt like having a brother dogging her heels, but Iโll be damned if I give Dev a chance to pull some shit while sheโs at work.โ
I didnโt ask if he was capable of thatโif I could conceive it, then it was possible. After all, heโd dropped Richieโs tortured body at the Blue Angelsโ clubhouse and done a drive by on Blue Angelsโ territory. I didnโt think there was much he wouldnโt do to get his point across.
โIโm gonna call another one of our chapters,โ he said, looking thoughtful. โI need more men at our backs. Weโve got a lot of older brothers
โmen from my dadโs time, but theyโre not up for this kind of shit.โ
โI didnโt know there were more members,โ I said. โWill I get to meet them?โ
โEventually.โ He leaned against the bathroom counter. โZip volunteered to be the one to drive Joni and sit at the hospital.โ
โYouโre gonna make your VP a watchdog?โ
His eyes narrowed. โNo one I trust more than him to protect my sister.
And it was his idea.โ โRight. Zipโs ideaโฆโ
I wondered how Joni would feel when she found out this had all been orchestrated by Zip. Zip, whoโd pretended they meant nothing to each other. Zip, whoโd stayed over at her house the night she got injured because he couldnโt bear to leave her side. Zip, the manwhore of a biker who wasnโt supposed to have any feelings toward her.
Something was cooking there, I was sure of it. But for some reason Colt didnโt see it, or didnโt want to see it. I wasnโt going to be the one to let him in on the situation.
โYou almost ready?โ he asked.
โYeah, almost. Just need to pack up the last of my stuff and we can go.โ โI got something for you.โ He left the bathroom and after gathering up my makeup and placing it in a floral makeup bag Joni had gotten me from
the mall, I followed after him.
Colt was standing by his nightstand drawer, holding a black velvet jewelry box. My eyes flew to his and he chuckled when he saw my
panicked expression. โItโs not a ring. It belonged to my mother. Open it.โ
I flipped open the box, completely charmed and delighted by the necklace. It was a dainty skull with wings on a thin silver chain. The pendant was no bigger than a dime.
โDad gave it to Mom when she became his Old Lady. I thought youโd like to have it.โ
I held out the box to him. โPut it on me.โ
He grinned and took the delicate necklace in his large hands. I turned around and presented my neck and a moment later, I felt the slide of cool metal against my skin.
Colt clasped the necklace and then his fingers lingered on the curves of my shoulders and he pressed his mouth to the spot right above the bandage that protected my new tattoo.
I waited for that feeling of impending doom, expecting a tightness in my chest at another emotional tie that bound me to Colt. But it didnโt come, and the rightness of the moment settled in my bones like an anchor steadying a ship in a storm.
We finally got out of the house, hours after Colt wanted to leave, but we were on our way back to the clubhouse when his phone rang.
โYeah?โ He listened for a few moments and then said, โAll right.
Thanks. Get some brothers and weโll meet you there. Bring the van.โ
He hung up and then turned down a street that would not take us to the clubhouse. โThat was Torque. He said the Iron Horsemen prospect hasnโt been at your place in six hours. Weโre gonna go to your house and get your shitโwhatever you wantโclothes, furniture, and weโll move it to my house. Our house.โ He shot me an amused smile.
I grinned back in excitement. I would finally be able to grab the things that mattered to me, along with my entire wardrobe.
โWhat do you want to do with it?โ he asked.
โDo with what?โ I was distracted thinking about where to hang my family photos.
โYour house. You own it, right?โ
โYeah. I havenโt really thought about it, to be honest. Iโm not ready to sell it, but Iโm not sure I want to become a landlord and rent it out.โ
I did like the idea of residual income without having to do anything. The house had been paid off for as long as I could remember and the roof had been replaced only a few years ago. It needed to be painted, but everything worked. The appliances, the fridge. It had all been taken care of. We turned down the street and immediately had to pull over. Traffic was blocked off by cones and a fire engine. Before Colt could even put the truck
into park, I was unlatching my seatbelt.
I ran down the block, sprinting into a group of people who were watching and pointing, rubbernecking but not doing anything except witnessing a house go up in flames.
โGet back!โ A fireman in his uniform yelled at me when Iโd dashed through the crowd, using my elbows.
I watched in numb horror as flames licked along the roof and poured out of the windows. Firemen with hoses attempted to put out the inferno.
โWhat the hell, Mia? You canโt just take off like that.โ
I felt him at my back, but didnโt turn around to address him. โThatโs my home,โ I whispered, still unable to comprehend what Iโd just seen.
โI know,โ Colt said, his tone somber. He reached for my hand and gently pulled me toward the fireman in charge.
โSir, please step back,โ the fire chief said. He was in his mid-fifties and clearly had been doing this a long time, long enough to have a sense of authority on the scene.
โMy girlfriendโs house,โ Colt explained.
The manโs brown eyes shot to me. โYour home?โ I nodded. โHow did this happen?โ
โWe wonโt know for a bit yet,โ he answered vaguely. โYou were lucky you werenโt inside.โ
โYeah. Lucky.โ
โExcuse me. I need to talk to my crew.โ The fire chief dipped his head and then turned and walked away.
I heard the sound of motorcycles and immediately pressed myself against Colt.
โRelax,โ he said. โTheyโre ours.โ
A few moments later, I saw, Boxer, Reap, and Cheese striding toward
us.
โAcid parked the van on the other side of the intersection,โ Boxer said.
โWe couldnโt get through. What the hell happened?โ His gaze took in the smoking remains of the house.
โMy home caught fire,โ I said, suddenly exhausted, bone-weary. โFuck,โ Cheese murmured.
I started to shake. Every keepsake, every photograph, my entire family history was in that house.
โThis is bad shit,โ Reap said.
The men began to talk in low voices but it sounded like I was underwater and I couldnโt make out what they were saying. I somehow found it within me to detach from Coltโs side and walk to the fire chief.
โSorry to bother you,โ I said, gaining his attention. โI just wanted to give you my number so you can reach me when you have more of an idea about what happened.โ
As he took my information, he asked me a ton of questions to make sure I wasnโt committing insurance fraud.
โIf I had to guess the cause, Iโd say it was faulty electrical,โ he said after finishing his questions and realizing Iโd had nothing to do with the fire.
โFaulty electrical. Sure.โ I nodded even though I was screaming inside. Dev and the Iron Horsemen had done this. They were toying with me,
instilling fear, trying to manipulate me into giving them what Richie had taken from them.
My phone rang and it said UNKNOWN. โExcuse me?โ
The fire chief nodded in dismissal.
I moved away from the mayhem and walked down the block to get some distance and privacy. โHello?โ
โHowโs your house?โ Dev asked, his tone light. Comical. โI think you know.โ
Dev laughed. โYeah, I do.โ
โWhy did you do it?โ I heard my voice. It sounded cool, detached. โSimple. You take something from me, I take something from you.โ โI didnโt take anything from you.โ
โNo, but Richie did, and you know where it is.โ
โWell, you already got him back, didnโt you?โ I snapped. โBabe?โ
I whirled, phone to my ear to see that Colt had come up behind me, his face downright scary.
โWho you talkinโ to?โ he asked. I swallowed.
โIs that your man?โ Dev asked. โPut him on. I want to speak to him.โ
I held out the phone to Colt and he took it. His eyes never left mine as Dev spoke to him. Coltโs jaw clenched so tight it looked like his teeth would shatter.
Colt ended the call without saying a word and handed my phone back to me. I didnโt want to ask what Dev had said to him. No doubt it would only heighten my fear.
โPartyโs canceled,โ he said finally.
I nodded. I wasnโt in a festive, celebratory mood anyway.
We headed back to the Blue Angels that were standing on the sidewalk, looking very out of place in the quaint neighborhood. Colt spoke to them and then they disbanded, leaving Colt and I alone.
As we drove away, I looked out the window. I could see smoke in the sky, disappearing into the clouds. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the leather seat, scraping my nails against the hard fiberglass of my cast.
โTalk to me,โ he said. โAbout what?โ
โAbout whatโs going through your head.โ โWhy?โ
โYou just watched your grandmotherโs house go up in flames. You donโt have feelings about that?โ
โI have feelings,โ I said. โI know I should be angry. I know I should be ranting and screaming, cursing Devโs name. But right now, all I can feel is sad. My entire life was in that house. Photo albums, my grandmotherโs favorite teacup with a painted pink rose pattern on the delicate china, the shoebox of my motherโs favorite costume jewelry. I have no idea what survived and I canโt handle another loss, Colt.โ
โI fucking hate him for this.โ His tone was full of anger. โI hate that heโs playing this sick game of cat and mouse and he took this from you.โ
โWhat did heโโ my voice cracked. I cleared my throat before speaking again. โWhat did he say to you on the phone?โ
He took a long time to answer, and when he did, he met my gaze. I nearly shivered from the cold savagery peering back at me.
โSomething thatโs gonna make him beg for mercy before Iโm through with him.โ