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Chapter no 16

Wreck & Ruin

REAP ANDย BOXER WERE AWAKE, alert and smiley as they lounged on the couches. Gray waved to me from a recliner and then turned his attention back to the TV. A local news station was on and I could distinctly make out the Shortieโ€™s sign in the background behind the cute reporter on screen.

โ€œWhatโ€™s she saying?โ€ I asked with a chin nod at the TV.

โ€œSheโ€™s talking about a spike in crime in Waco.โ€ Gray darted his gaze to Colt. I looked at Colt over my shoulder and his face betrayed nothing of his feelings.

โ€œThe clubhouse is full this morning,โ€ I commented.

โ€œWeโ€™re having church in an hour,โ€ Colt explained. โ€œSo everyone is coming here.โ€

โ€œI need coffee,โ€ I muttered, heading to the kitchen where Darcy was directing Rachel and Allison with a spatula.

โ€œGood morning,โ€ Darcy chirped. โ€œHow are you? We heard about the drive by at Shortieโ€™s.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m okay. It was Joni who was hurt,โ€ I said, going to a cabinet and grabbing a mug. I emptied the pot. โ€œWhereโ€™s the bag of coffee? I need to make more.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve got it,โ€ Allison said.

Cream and sugar were on the counter and I doctored my coffee heavily before sitting on a stool. Colt had taken a seat with the guys near the TV

and was currently talking to Gray in a low voice.

โ€œSheโ€™s going to be okay,โ€ Darcy said. โ€œFlesh wound, right?โ€

I nodded. I needed to text Joni to see how she was doing. My phone was still in Coltโ€™s room and just as I was about to hop off the stool to go and grab it, Joni walked into the clubhouse with Zip behind her.

Her sorrel hair was pulled into a low side ponytail and she was wearing black yoga pants, flip-flops, and a pink tank top that revealed her bandaged arm.

I jumped off my stool and went to her immediately and gently embraced her. โ€œHow are you feeling?โ€

โ€œDopey,โ€ she said with a smile. Her blue eyes looked a little glassy, but she wasnโ€™t swaying. โ€œI took some painkillers before we came over.โ€

Zip came to stand by her and I noticed he was carrying a duffel bag. I pointed to it. โ€œWhatโ€™s that?โ€

โ€œJoniโ€™s shit,โ€ he said. โ€œSheโ€™ll be staying in a spare room at the clubhouse for a few days.โ€

โ€œWhy?โ€ I asked in confusion.

โ€œColt will explain,โ€ Zip said. He looked at Joni for a long moment and then took her bag out of the room and headed for the stairs.

โ€œWhat was that?โ€ I whispered.

โ€œNothing.โ€ She grabbed my coffee and took a sip. Nodding, she added, โ€œJust the way I like it.โ€

I took her hand and led her to the kitchen counter. โ€œSit,โ€ I commanded, gesturing to one of the stools.

Joni plopped her butt down and then Darcy set a plate of food in front of her. โ€œEat every bite,โ€ she commanded.

โ€œDo I need to feed you?โ€ Rachel asked. โ€œI will, you know. Iโ€™ll even play the airplane game to make it more fun if thatโ€™s what you need me to do.โ€

โ€œWhy are you guys treating me like an invalid?โ€ she demanded. โ€œIโ€™m a nurse. I know how minor this is.โ€

As if to prove her point, she picked up her fork with her dominant hand, which was also the arm that was bandaged, and scooped up a bite of scrambled eggs.

She ate a few bites and then set her fork down. โ€œSee? Iโ€™m fine.โ€

Zip came back down the stairs and walked over to stand behind Joni. โ€œYour stuff is in last room on the right. Third floor.โ€

โ€œThanks,โ€ she said.

He stared at her for one long moment and then nodded before joining the guys.

โ€œDear Lord,โ€ Allison muttered.

โ€œRight? Is it too early for cocktail hour? I need to know everything that look just meant,โ€ Darcy said.

โ€œNothing. It meant nothing,โ€ Joni said before going back to eating her food.

I leaned closer to peer at her and said aloud so the girls could hear, โ€œHer cheeks arenโ€™t even red. Sheโ€™s literally gotย noย tells. Forget cocktail hour. Letโ€™s drive to Vegas and make Joni play poker.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know how to play poker,โ€ Joni said. โ€œIโ€™ll teach you.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know how to play either,โ€ Rachel said with a pout.

โ€œGirlsโ€™ poker night,โ€ I said. โ€œOur next hang out. Iโ€™m gonna turn you guys into hustlers.โ€

โ€œYou mean you know how to cheat?โ€ Darcy asked in amusement. โ€œDamn right I know how to cheat,โ€ I said with a laugh.

โ€œIโ€™m so in,โ€ Allison said with a grin.

Acid and Cheese came in the back, sweaty and out of breath. โ€œWhat happened to you guys?โ€ Rachel asked.

โ€œThe kids,โ€ Acid wheezed. โ€œThey have no chill.โ€

โ€œKids?โ€ I asked and then looked at Darcy. โ€œYour kids?โ€

She nodded. โ€œCam and Lily are in the backyard. Along with Silasโ€” Cheeseโ€™s brother.โ€

The two young bikers grabbed some bottles of water from the refrigerator and then Colt yelled, โ€œChurch!โ€

All the Blue Angels trailed after their president and they disappeared down the hallway. A moment later, the back door opened and then shut.

โ€œAnd then the women folk were stuck in the kitchen,โ€ Rachel muttered, causing Darcy to laugh. โ€œI canโ€™t believe three kids tuckered out two huge bikers.โ€

โ€œChildren have a special type of energy,โ€ Darcy explained. โ€œItโ€™s endless.

And forget giving them sugar. Thatโ€™s the kiss of death for parents.โ€

โ€œReap is dying for a baby,โ€ Rachel said. โ€œI have no idea why, considering heโ€™s never spent more than two seconds in the same room with one.โ€

โ€œI think it has to do with wanting a kid withย you,โ€ Allison pointed out.

Her face went pink and she bit her lip like she was hiding something. โ€œOh my God,โ€ I said, staring at her. โ€œYouโ€™re totally pregnant.โ€

The girls looked at her in different phases of shock and disbelief. โ€œNo,โ€ Darcy said. โ€œReally?โ€

Allison nodded, happiness shining from her eyes. โ€œI told Torque last night and he was really excited.โ€

Iโ€™d never officially met Torque. He was once a nomad, meaning he called himself a Blue Angel, but he hadnโ€™t belonged to a specific chapter. When heโ€™d met Allison in Waco, heโ€™d settled down, but he still had the urge to wander. He was constantly on the road, traveling.

I hadnโ€™t even seen him in the clubhouse this morning. No doubt heโ€™d been waiting out back when Colt called for church.

โ€œAre the boys really gone?โ€ Darcy asked.

I hopped off my stool and went to the hallway and listened for a moment. There was no sound of voices or footsteps.

โ€œTheyโ€™re gone,โ€ I said. โ€œWhy?โ€

Darcy grinned and then she went to one of the cabinets and moved aside boxes of pasta and corn muffin mix to pull out a bottle of Kahlua.

โ€œSeriously?โ€ Joni asked with a laugh.

โ€œSeriously,โ€ Darcy said. โ€œI think we need it. After the night you and Mia had, and now to celebrate Allisonโ€™s good news.โ€

Darcy filled our coffee cups, skipped Allison, and then raised her mug. โ€œTo the Blue Angels women,โ€ Darcy said.

My throat tightened.

I was one of them now.

I wasnโ€™t sure what it all entailed, but I knew that even with the danger, it was worth it because of the protective fold Iโ€™d been brought into.

โ€œTo the next generation,โ€ I said with a grin at Allison as she beamed with joy.

โ€œWhoโ€™s next, do you think?โ€ Darcy asked after taking a sip from her mug, her eyes skimming over us.

โ€œDonโ€™t look at me,โ€ Rachel said. โ€œI could go a few more years without a baby. No offense.โ€

Allison shrugged. โ€œNone taken.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not even dating a Blue Angel,โ€ Joni said. โ€œAh, shit.โ€ โ€œWhat?โ€ I asked. โ€œIs it your arm? Does it hurt?โ€

She shook her head. โ€œIโ€™m supposed to go on that date with the doctor I work with. How the hell am I supposed to explain this?โ€ She pointed to her bandage.

โ€œTell him youโ€™re a klutz,โ€ Rachel suggested.

โ€œAnd that you were holding a vase of flowers, tripped over your own two feet, and the vase went flying and you went down and cut yourself on the broken glass,โ€ Darcy said.

โ€œYou came up with that story really fast,โ€ I remarked with a laugh. โ€œItโ€™s a good story,โ€ Darcy said.

โ€œNot if youโ€™re a nurse and you hold peopleโ€™s lives in your hands,โ€ Joni stated. โ€œIf I tell that story, he wonโ€™t think Iโ€™m a klutz, heโ€™ll think Iโ€™m an idiot who canโ€™t be trusted. He likes me because Iโ€™m competent, not some goof.โ€

Rachel frowned. โ€œIโ€™m pretty sure he likes you because youโ€™ve got a great rack.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve got a great rack?โ€ Joni asked with a smile, puffing out her chest. โ€œDynamite,โ€ Rachel said. โ€œIโ€™d kill for your rack.โ€

โ€œYou guys are kind of amazing, you know that, right?โ€ I smiled. Their banter reminded me a lot of Shelly. I thought about how much sheโ€™d like these women and I couldnโ€™t wait to introduce her to them. Sheโ€™d quickly get over her biker aversion when she saw how they all treated me.

Like it didnโ€™t matter that I was in a world of shit, or that I brought it to their front door or that Joni had gotten injured because sheโ€™d been with me at Shortieโ€™s.

โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ Joni asked quietly. The other three women were smiling and talking and hadnโ€™t noticed Iโ€™d fallen into a somber state.

โ€œJust thinking.โ€ I shook off my mood. โ€œIโ€™m glad youโ€™re okay.โ€ โ€œStop it.โ€

โ€œStop what?โ€

โ€œStop feeling guilty,โ€ she said. โ€œItโ€™s not necessary. Iโ€™m okay, Mia.โ€ She squeezed my hand to take the sting out of her reprimand.

I heard the slam of the back door and then voices. The kitchen was suddenly overrun by Darcyโ€™s two children and Cheeseโ€™s brother, Silas. He was a skinny kid with skinned knees, but his smile was big and goofy. His ears stuck out just a bit, but I knew in a few years, after braces and a growth spurt, heโ€™d be a good-looking teenager. With a biker as an older brother, I was sure heโ€™d learn how to swagger and break a few hearts.

โ€œMom, Iโ€™m hungry!โ€ Cam said.

โ€œMe too!โ€ Lily yelled. โ€œHi, Mia!โ€

I smiled at the adorable girl. โ€œHey, Lil.โ€

The kitchen was suddenly filled with peopleโ€”church had ended and the bikers were now back, grabbing plates of food and sitting at any available spot.

Colt came up behind me, reached over my shoulder and took a half- eaten piece of bacon off my plate, and popped it into his mouth.

โ€œHey,โ€ I said. โ€œI was going to eat that.โ€

He grinned after he swallowed. โ€œNo you werenโ€™t.โ€ โ€œYeah, I wasnโ€™t,โ€ I admitted with a laugh.

Joni climbed off her stool and waved Colt to it. โ€œThose pain killers are throwing me for a loop. I think Iโ€™ll go lie down.โ€

Colt took her seat but not before whispering something in her ear. She nodded and then headed upstairs.

โ€œYou ready to go?โ€ he asked me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zip set his plate of food on the coffee table and stand up. He made his way upstairs, so discreetly that even Colt didnโ€™t notice what was going on beneath his nose.

โ€œMia?โ€ Colt pressed.

โ€œSorry. Yeah, Iโ€™m ready.โ€ I looked at him in confusion. โ€œWhere are we going?โ€

โ€œHome so we can grab your clothes and whatever else you need. Weโ€™re staying in the clubhouse for the next few days.โ€

My gaze narrowed. โ€œNext few days, huh? So thatโ€™s Colt-speak for โ€˜until the threat has passedโ€™.โ€

He smirked. โ€œYou already speak my language. You must be some kind of savant.โ€

I rolled my eyes and pressed my hand to his chest, forgetting about his tattoo. He winced and I immediately pulled away. โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s fine.โ€

โ€œWait a minute, you two,โ€ Darcy said. โ€œHush, everyone!โ€ The room quieted and all eyes looked to Grayโ€™s wife. โ€œWeโ€™ve got a situation here that no one has addressed.โ€

I shrank back into the wall of Coltโ€™s chest, afraid that Darcy was going to call out Joniโ€™s injury and what had had happened last night. She surprised me when she announced, โ€œMia and Colt got tattoos. We need to celebrate that!โ€

There was a resounding cheer that was deafening and made my eardrums vibrate.

โ€œTonight we rage!โ€ Boxer yelled.

I looked at Colt and whispered, โ€œIs this a good idea?โ€

โ€œIs what a good idea?โ€ Colt looked down at me, the smile lines at his eyes crinkling. โ€œLiving life?โ€

โ€œBut what about all the other stuff?โ€

โ€œItโ€™ll still be there tomorrow,โ€ he said. He wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me to him. โ€œYou never know how long youโ€™ve got, Mia.โ€ His eyes darkened and his mouth clamped shut even though he looked like he wanted to say more.

Heโ€™d lost his parents young. Iโ€™d lost my family too. By all accounts, Colt and I finding each other, finding some measure of happiness in a chaotic world, was a miracle.

โ€œOkay,โ€ I said with a slight smile. โ€œLetโ€™s celebrate. One condition, though.โ€

โ€œName it.โ€

โ€œI want Shelly and Mark to come.โ€ โ€œMiaโ€ฆโ€

โ€œShe was there for me, Colt. When Grammie died. She was there for me when no one else in the whole world was. She has to be here to celebrate this new life with me. Celebrateย us. I know it will be weird, and she has

thoughts about you and the entire MC thing. She wonโ€™t get to know you in a night, but itโ€™s a start. Please?โ€

Finally, he nodded. โ€œBoxer is right, though. Tonight we rage. You think she can handle that?โ€

I grinned. โ€œGuess weโ€™re going to find out.โ€

 

 

We headed home, leaving the party planning in Darcy and Rachelโ€™s capable hands. While Colt showered, I packed a bag full of clothes. I went into the bathroom to gather some of my toiletries, but lost all sense of concentration when Colt stepped out of the shower, naked and wet.

Utterly gorgeous.

He reached for a towel and quickly ran it across his head and then swaddled it around his body. He grabbed his toothbrush and slathered toothpaste across the bristles.

โ€œWhat did you do with Richieโ€™s corpse?โ€ I asked.

Colt looked at me. โ€œDo you really think Iโ€™m going to answer that?โ€ I sighed. โ€œYouโ€™re not going to tell me.โ€

โ€œDo you even really want to know?โ€ โ€œI guess not.โ€

โ€œAs far as anyone is concerned, Richie is still missing. Iโ€™ll leave it at that. Okay?โ€

โ€œOkay.โ€ I blew out a breath of air. โ€œDoes it bother you when I ask questions?โ€

He rinsed out his mouth. โ€œNo. Does it bother you that I handle shit and might not always be able to tell you what goes down?โ€

โ€œI thought it might. I donโ€™t know. Maybe it will at some point in the future. But not now.โ€

โ€œSpeaking of future,โ€ he began.

โ€œWe were speaking of the future?โ€ He shot me a look. โ€œWe are now.โ€

โ€œOkay, Iโ€™m listening.โ€ I followed him out of the bathroom, carting my toiletries and setting them down on the bed.

Colt flung off his towel and strode nude to his dresser. โ€œDo you want kids?โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€ I asked, startled. โ€œKids?โ€ โ€œYeah. You know. Children.โ€

โ€œYes, Iโ€™m aware of what a child is, Colt,โ€ I snipped.

โ€œDo you want one? Or more than one?โ€ He pulled on his boxers but kept his gaze trained on me.

โ€œI donโ€™t know if I want them,โ€ I admitted.

He stared at me for a long moment and then asked, โ€œDid you want kids before you got tied up with me and the Blue Angels?โ€

I swallowed but didnโ€™t answer.

โ€œIf you want kids, weโ€™ll have kids. If you donโ€™t want themโ€ฆthen we can fuck on the kitchen floor whenever we want and not have to worry about scarring a kid for life.โ€

A bubble of laughter escaped my lips. โ€œThatโ€™s your vision? Weโ€™re on the kitchen floor and our kid comes in?โ€

โ€œWell,โ€ he grinned wickedly, โ€œthe real vision is you on top of me whileย Iโ€™mย on the kitchen floor and youโ€™re screaming my name. Never really factored a kid walking in on that, though knowing us, it would be bound to happen.โ€

The carefree way he described the situation made me smile.

โ€œTell you what,โ€ I said. โ€œLetโ€™s get through all this crap with the Iron Horsemen and we can reevaluate the kid thing.โ€

โ€œSo youโ€™re not saying no,โ€ he said. โ€œJust so weโ€™re clear.โ€

โ€œNot no,โ€ I agreed. I cocked my head to the side. โ€œBut I think you want kids. Donโ€™t you? Youโ€™re just trying to be accommodating?โ€

โ€œYou think Iโ€™m the accommodating sort? You clearly donโ€™t know me well enough yet.โ€

I refused to let him sidetrack the conversation. โ€œI think you want kids,โ€ I said softly. โ€œI think you want a family like the one you were raised in.โ€

He stilled, the amusement fading from his features. โ€œTruth?โ€ I nodded.

Colt sat on the edge of the bed in nothing but his boxers, his hands clasped in his lap as he stared at the floor, mulling over his words before speaking.

โ€œMy parents loved us. They really did. But they loved each other more. Dad didnโ€™t die of cancer. Not really. He let the cancer take him because it was less painful than living without my mom. He died of a broken heart, but you donโ€™t say shit like that in our world. You know?โ€

He shook his head and went on.

โ€œJoni and Iโ€ฆwe had each other. Still have each other. I donโ€™t know what I wouldโ€™ve done without her. Sure, I left her like an ass and tried to figure out my own shitโ€”living in a world that my dad wasnโ€™t in anymore, but I came back. And itโ€™s been the two of us ever since.โ€ He looked at me and smiled. โ€œUntil you came along, I didnโ€™t think much about having kids. Why have kids if you donโ€™t have the love of a good woman to raise them alongside you?

โ€œI donโ€™t know, darlinโ€™. One day weโ€™ll be old. One of us will go first. Whoever is left behindโ€ฆwell, I like the idea of having the comfort of family when that time comes. A family you and I made together. A part of me, a part of you, will always be left in the world, even when weโ€™re gone. And if we have more than one kid, theyโ€™ll be there for each other when weโ€™re both gone.โ€

His words wrecked me and I felt tears coat my eyelashes, but they didnโ€™t fall. Somehow, I held it all back. Not because I was embarrassed or afraid of being vulnerable. The walls that Iโ€™d erected around my heart after Grammie died were long gone, obliterated by Colt.

But there was something I had to say before I broke apart completely. โ€œI watched Grammie die. Slowly, at first. She suffered for a long time, and then she was gone. Even though I was by her side, she died alone. Youโ€™re born alone and you die alone, no matter what anyone tells you.โ€ I frowned. โ€œI donโ€™t know if what you said is a good enough reason for me, Colt. Do I hate the idea of you being old without me? Yeah, I do. But will having children really ease the burden of loss? I canโ€™t say. I donโ€™t know. But I think, weโ€™re supposed to want better for our children than we had. Itโ€™s one thing for me to choose this life. Choose you and all the shit that comes with it. Itโ€™s quite another to have kids and bring them into a world where a skewed moral compass is the norm, with mentors and protectors that break laws and teach them itโ€™s okay to do it. I just donโ€™t know, Colt.โ€

He was silent for a long moment, his dark eyes murky without giving away any emotion.

Was he upset about what Iโ€™d said? He was good enough for me. But was he good enough to be the father of the children I didnโ€™t even know I wanted?

โ€œCall Shelly,โ€ he said finally. โ€œInvite her and her fiancรฉ to our party.โ€ I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling cold down to my bones. โ€œOkay.โ€ I bit my lip. โ€œAre you mad at me? For what I said?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€

โ€œThen why are youโ€”โ€

โ€œIโ€™m mad because your words have merit.โ€ He got off the bed and went to the dresser to grab a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. โ€œI just need a bit, all right?โ€

Nodding, I left the bedroom, closing the door behind me. We were both strong people. Strong-willed, strong emotionally.

But were we strong enough as a couple to weather the truth?

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