That wasย hisย ring.
That wasย hisย finger. That was a piece ofย him.
Kieran shot forward, smacking a hand down on the lid, but I still saw what lay inside. I would neverย notย see it. Not if I lived thousands of years. I wouldnโt forget.
Piercing howls echoed from within Massene, shattering the stunned silence as I stared at the ruby-adorned box. Someone spoke, but I couldnโt make sense of the words. The shock and bitter-tasting horror pressed against my humming skin. I had no chance to shut down my senses. My icy disbelief and anguish crashed into othersโ, but it was what lay under the agony that choked meโthe sour, suffocating churning of guilt that was mine. All mine.
Because I had caused this.
It had been my message that had antagonized the Blood Queen. My hand that held the blade thatโd severed King Jalaraโs head. My actions that had guided the Blood Queenโs hand. I had taken the risk, believing she wouldnโt harm him. Not when she needed him. Iโd been mistaken.
I had brought this ontoย him.
The crack in my chest was a crevice that fractured and broke wide open. The flood of eather spilled from the chasm, brimming with unfettered rage and endless agony. The charged energy hit the air around me. Ancient power surged, rising once more, deep from the agony, absolute and final. A silvery-white aura crowded the corners of my vision as I sparked light andโฆ
Tendrils of dark light arced and pulsed through the silvery aura as the eather manifested around me. Light lanced with shadows gathered near the ground, churning around my legs.
Delano edged Perry backโawayย from me. The wolven sank low to the ground, his ears flattening as Reaver stretched his head to the sky, emitting a strange, staggered sound.
In the back of my mind, I knew I was making them uneasyโthat the raw anguish was calling the wolven to me. I might even be scaring them, and I didnโt want that. But allโฆ
All I saw was his ringโhisย fingerย in that box.
I shuddered, and from that cold, hollow fracture in my chest, icy wrath and vengeance poured out.
That was all I became. Not Poppy.
Not the former Maiden and now the Queen of Atlantia.
There would be no more waiting. No carefully laid plans. No hesitation or thought. I would tear through Solis, sweeping across the kingdom like the plagueย sheย was. No city would be left standing. I would rip the Blood Forest apart to find her precious Malec, and then I would send her the gift ofย herย love in tinyย pieces. There would be no place for her to run. Nowhere she could find shelter.
I would lay waste to the entire realmย andย her.
Turning stiffly, I splayed my fingers wide as I started walking toward Cauldra Manorโtoward the waiting horizon of Oak Ambler. The reeds and tall stems of lavender parted, shrinking back. The pines trembled.
โPoppy!โ a voice shouted, and my head snapped in the direction of the sound. The wolven halted a few feet from me, his wide eyes fixed on me, the blue now luminous, his pupils no longer black but glowing a silvery- white. โWhere are you going?โ
โCarsodonia,โ I spoke, and my voice was full ofโฆsmoke and shadow. Full of death and fire. โIโm going to slice every finger from the Blood Queenโs hands, one by one. Iโm going to peel the flesh from her body.โ A shiver of anticipation swirled over my skin. โThen I will rip her tongue from her mouth and tear her eyes from her face.โ
โThat sounds like a damn good plan.โ Kieranโs voice had changed, too, roughening as he took a step toward me. โAnd I want to be right there beside you when you do it. I would love nothing more than to help you.โ
โThen help me.โ My voiceโฆitย slitheredย with the wind, carrying far as the shadow-laced light rippled along the ground. Through the tall, bushy weeds and flowers, sleek, dark shapes raced toward us. The wolven. They
too would swarm the cities, a sea of claws and teeth and death. โYou can all help me.โ
โWe canโt,โ Kieran said, the tendons in his neck standing out in stark relief. โYou canโt. You canโt do this.โ
I stopped. Everything stopped. The faint trembling under my feet. The wolven, who halted in their tracks. I stared at the one before me. โIย canโt?โ
He stretched his neck, his chest rising and falling. โNo, you canโt.โ My head tilted. โYou think you can stop me?โ
A dry laugh rattled his body. โFuck, no. But that doesnโt mean I wonโt try. Because I canโt let you do this.โ He edged closer, foolishly brave. Foolishlyย loyal. Because he wasnโt just a wolven. My fingers curled inward as I forced myself to focus on Kieran, on what he was saying. On what he meant to me. Advisor. Friend. More in the past weeks. โI know youโre in pain. That you hurt and are angry. Youโre afraid for Casโโ
The silver-tinged shadows pulsed around me.ย Cas.ย Heย loved it when I called him Cas. Had said only those he trusted most called him that. That it reminded him that he was a person. I shuddered, the back of my throat burning with the rage, the guilt, and the agony.
Kieran was within reach now, mere inches from the swirling mass of power radiating from me. Tension had gathered in him, tightening the lines of his face. โYou want to make her pay for what she did. I do, too. We all do. But if you do thisโif you go anywhere likeย thisโpeople will die. Innocents you want to help. People Cas wants to protect.โ
Fiery anguish twisted my chest.ย Cas. Who was protectingย him? No one. A tremor coursed through me, hitting the ground. The pines shook harder. โI donโt care.โ
โBullshit. You care. Cas cares,โ he said, and I flinched. Not at the sound of the name but at the truth. โThatโs what both of you have been trying to avoid. Thatโs why we have plans. But if you do this? Those you donโt kill will be terrified of youโof all of us. If they even saw you like this now, they would never see you as anything else.โ
I glanced down at the whirling shadows and the light dancing over my skin.ย Inย my skin. The next breath I took was too tight. โSheย hurtย him.โ
โI know. Gods, I know, Poppy. But there will never be peace if you do this,โ he rasped, his lips pressing back against his teeth. โEven if you destroy the Blood Crown and end the Rite, you will become what mortalsย andย Atlantians fear, and you will never forgive yourself.โ
I felt no fear from him as he lifted his hands, piercing the thrumming aura of power around me without hesitation. What bloomed in the back of my throat, easing the burn building there, was soft and sweet. The eather slipped over his hands and crawled up his forearms as his palms pressed against my cheeksโagainst the ragged scar along my left one.
His handsโฆthey trembled. โWhat youโre feeling is you, but what you want to do isnโt. Itโsย her. Itโs something the Blood Queen would do. Itโs something sheโd want you to do. But you are not her.โ
I wasnโt anything like her.
I wasnโt cruel or abusive. I didnโt take pleasure in othersโ pain. I didnโt lash out in angerโฆ
Actually, I did tend to lash out with sharp objects when angry, but I wasnโtย spiteful. I wouldnโt have done what she had, taking all the pain and hurt she felt after the loss of Malec and their son, all that hatred toward the former Queen of Atlantia, and turning it on not just Eloanaโs sons but also an entire kingdomโan entireย realm.
And that would be exactly what Iโd be doing. Iโd leave nothing but haunting graveyards behind. And I wouldnโt be like my mother.
I would be something far worse.
Kieranโs hands shook. His entire body rattled as if the ground were shaking, but it was him.
Concern rose, beating back the brutal tide of emotions. โW-why are you shaking? Am I hurting you?โ
โNo. Itโs theโฆitโs theย notam,โ he bit out. โItโs making me want to shift.
Iโm fighting it.โ
My gaze searched the taut lines of his face. โWhy is it making you want to do that?โ
A strained chuckle left him. โDo you think thatโs an important question right now?โ He gave me a short shake of his head. โBecause I can protect you better in that form. And, yes, I know you donโt need our protection, but theย notamย recognizes the kind of emotion you feel as aโa call of alarm. Iโฆ I donโt think I can fight it much longer.โ
My attention darted over his shoulder to where I saw the forms of many wolven among the weeds. There was no way all of them couldโve already been in their wolven forms. They had been compelled to do that.
Iโd forced them, and that made my stomach hurt.
Ice drenched my skin, and the chill quelled the fire. I squeezed my eyes shut. Control. I neededย control. There was no threat to me. The one at risk was in Carsodonia. Losing it did absolutely nothing to help him, and Kieran was right. I repeated that over and over. I hadnโt spent the past weeks planning for how to keep people safe only to turn around and be the cause of thousands, if not millions of deaths.
That wasnโt me.
That wasnโt who I ever wanted to become.
Another shudder rocked me as the vibrations in my chest eased and the hum receded from my skin. The rage was still there, as was the guilt and agony, but the wrath and the hunger for vengeance was banked, returning to those cold, empty places inside me where I feared it may fester.
โItโs okay,โ Kieran said, and I was slow to realize that he wasnโt speaking to me. โJust give us some time, all right?โ There was a pause, and then he moved close as he guided my head down to his chest. I didnโt fight it, welcoming the warmth and the familiar, earthy scent. He spoke about the box, about what was in it. He cleared his throat. โDonโt tell anyone about it. Noโฆno one needs to know.โ
Someone neared us, and Kieranโs hand slid to the back of my head as the other left my cheek. โThank you,โ he said.
In the quiet that followed, a rush of wings brought a gust of lavender- scented air. A few moments later, something brushed against my legs.ย Delano. I kept my eyes closed tightly against the sting. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry if Iโd worried or scared him, but I couldnโt get the words past the knot in my throat. Kieranโs chin lowered, resting on the top of my head. The quiet went on for some time.
And then Kieran said in a low voice, โYou scared me a little, Poppy.โ Pressure clamped down on my chest. โIโm sorry. I didnโt mean to.โ
โI know you didnโt.โ His chest rose against mine. โI wasnโt scared of you. I was afraidย forย you,โ he added. โIโฆIโve never seen that before. The shadows in the eather. And your voice? It was different. Like it was when you spoke to Duke Silvan.โ
โI donโt know what any of that was.โ I swallowed thickly.
โYour abilities are still changing. Growing,โ he said, making me think of what Reaver had shared.
Was thisโthe shadows in the eatherโa new manifestation due to me still going through the Culling? I didnโt know. And at the moment, I
couldnโt spare the energy required to dwell on it.
โYou know heโs still alive,โ Kieran said after a couple of moments. Thoughts of the ever-changing abilities faded. โThe imprint is still on your palm. He lives.โ
I closed my left hand, pressing it to Kieranโs chest. โBut sheโฆโ I couldnโt finish.
โHeโs strong. You know that.โ
Gods, Iย didย know that. But it didnโt change what was done to him. โHe has to be in so much pain, Kieran.โ
โI know, but he will get past this. I know it. And you will get past this.โ His hand tightened in my loose braid of hair. โHe is still yours. You are still his.โ
Tears stung my throat, my eyes. โAlways,โ I whispered hoarsely. I forced myself to take a deep, steady breath. โThank you forโฆfor stopping me.โ
โYou donโt have to thank me for that.โ
โI do.โ I lifted my head, and his hand fell to the middle part of my braid. โAnd I am sorry about worrying youโworrying all of them. I justโฆI lost it.โ
โAnyone would, Poppy.โ Kieran slid his arm away and brought his hand up so it was between us. He took my left hand and pressed something cool and hard into my palm. My breath snagged because I knew what heโd put in my hand. โIn case you donโt know this, no matter whatโs done to Cas, he wonโt regret his choice.โ
I tried to swallow again, to stop the words from coming, but I couldnโt. โI do. I regret it every moment Iโโ A soul-crushing sense of loss rose once more, stealing my breath. It took everything in me not to collapse under it and let all the rage and pain consume me once more. To lash out and inflict all that ate away at me onto anyone who stood in my way.
To unleash all the pain until nothing but bone and blood remained. โWhy did he do it, Kieran? Why?โ I whispered, my voice catching.
Kieran squeezed my hand. โYou know why. The same reason youโd do just as he did if someone was hurting him.โ
Gods, I did know the answer. A tremor coursed through me. I wouldโve done anything. Because I loved him. Because he was mine, and I was his. My other half. A part of me, even though I hadnโt spoken his name in many weeks. I barely allowed myself to even think it because it hurt.
But his name was love.
It was power and strength. It would never break me.
Casteel. A shattered breath left me.ย Casteel. I made myself say it over and over in my mind.ย Casteel Hawkethrone DaโNeer. My chest felt as if a bolt were tearing through it all over again, but I said his name to myself until it no longer made me want to scream. Until I could say, โCasteel isnโt lost to us.โ
โNo. Heโs not,โ Kieran agreed, slipping his hand away from mine.
Slowly, I opened my fist. HisโฆCasteelโs ring rested in my palm, strong and beautiful. There wasnโt a trace of blood on it. Either Emil or Perry had wiped it clean when they took it from the box. โWhat did they do with theโฆ?โ I couldnโt bring myself to say it.
โItโs up to you.โ Kieranโs voice was hoarse. โYou can burn or bury it. Or one of us can. You donโt ever have to see it again. You donโt need to, Poppy. Thereโs no reason to.โ
I didnโt want to see it again. Forcing myself to do so did nothing but inflict damage. Glancing up at Kieran, I sensed that he had his emotions locked down once more. I knew he did it so it wouldnโt add to what I was feeling.
Kieran wasโฆhe was too good.
โBurn it,โ I forced myself to say. โBut I donโt want you to do it. I donโt want you anywhere near it.โ
He inhaled sharply and nodded.
I squeezed the ring.ย Always and forever.ย โWas there anything else in the box?โ
โA card.โ
โDid you have a chance to see it?โ โOnly briefly.โ
โWhat didโ?โ My stomach twisted with nausea. โWhat did it say?โ โIt said that she was sorry to have caused you any pain,โ he told me.
There was something so,ย soย wrong with her. But at once, I knew what I needed to do. I knew what had to come next.
Because I could no longer wait.
When I took my next breath, it was easier. โWe have plansโones that are important to Solis and Atlantia.โ The next words were hard to speak, even though they were true. โPlans that are bigger thanโฆCasteel and me.โ
Kieran said nothing, but I knew he agreed. Even if Casteel stood beside me now, there would still be the Blood Crown. The Rites would continue. Children would be stripped away from their families, either to Ascend or become nothing more than cattle to the Ascended. Innocent people would still be murdered. Atlantia would still run out of land and resources.
All of this was bigger than us.
The Blood Crown had to be destroyed.
I brought the ring close to my chest as I lifted my stare to Kieran. โBut Casteel is more important to me. I know thatโs wrong. I know I shouldnโt think that, let alone say it out loud, but itโs the truth.โ
Kieran said nothing, but heโd gone completely still.
โSheโs not going to release him.โ A breeze caught the loosened strands of my hair, tossing them across my face. โShe will hurt him again.โ Anger flared inside me, threatening to ignite once more. โYou know that she could be doing anything to him right now. You know what it did to him last time.โ
His jaw clenched. โI do.โ
โI canโt let her have him for weeks and months. And thatโs how long it will take for us to take the Atlantian armies across Solis. Casteel doesnโt have that kind of time. We donโt have that kind of time.โ
Kieran stared down at me. โI know what youโre thinking. You want to go to Carsodonia.โ
โAfterย we take Oak Ambler,โ I amended. โThe Blood Crown needs to be destroyed, and we need to do it the right way. I need to be here to convince Valyn and the generals that our plan is the right one. I need to be here to see that through.โ
โAnd then?โ
โAnd then I will go to Carsodonia, and you will lead the armies to the other cities.โ
His pale blue eyes hardened. โAnd if youโre captured in the process?โ โItโs a risk Iโm willing to take. Iโll be fine. Isbeth doesnโt want me
dead,โ I reasoned. โIf that was what she wanted, she had ample opportunity to do so. Sheโฆshe needs me if she seeks to control Atlantia. This is what I need to do.โ
Kieran folded his arms over his chest. โI agree.โ My brows flew up. โYou do?โ
โI do. Cas needs to be freed, but thereโs one problem with your plan. Actually,โ he said, frowning, โthere are a lot of problems. Starting with the
fact that I doubt you even have a plan beyond walking up to Carsodoniaโs Rise.โ
I opened my mouth and then snapped it shut. His look turned knowing. Frustration bore down on me. โI will come up with a plan that doesnโt involve me walking up to the Rise of Carsodonia. Iโm not a fool, Kieran.โ
โYouโre a fool if you think Iโll be anywhere other than by your side,โ he shot back. โThereโs no way in hell youโre going to Carsodonia without me.โ
โItโs too dangerousโโ โAre you kidding me?โ
โItโs too dangerous for anyone else to go.โ
He stared down at me. โYou do realize that weโre at war? Therefore, any number of us, including me, could die.โ
I stiffened as the statement knocked the air from my chest. โDonโt say thatโโ
โItโs the truth, Poppy. All of us know the risks, and weโre not here just for you. He is our King.โ He met my glare with his own. โAlso, I donโt believe that once you have a couple of minutes to think about this, you wonโt seriously reconsider taking on the entire damn Blood Crown by yourself.โ
Maybe he was right. But at the moment, I really wanted to. โOkay, I wonโt go alone. I will see who wants to make the trip with me. But I need you here. I trust you to make sure Valyn and the others follow our plans. Because there can be no truce this time. No stalemate. I trust you to make sure there is a chance for peace when we destroy the Blood Crown. As the Advisor to the Crown, they have to follow your orders.โ
โI appreciate your trust. Am honored. Flattered. Whatever,โ he said, and I didnโt think he sounded honored at all. โBut you can trust others to ensure that our plans are carried out.โ
โI do trust others. Your sister. Naill. Delano. EmilโI could keep listing names. But they hold no position of authority like you do as the advisor. You are an extension of the Crown. You speak on behalf of the King and Queen. None of the others have that kind of authority.โ
โBut any of them can,โ he insisted. โYou can make one of them a regent
โa person that you, as the Queen, can appoint. Someone who will act on your behalf in your absence. Normally, that would be the Advisor to the Crown, but there is no law that states it has to be the advisor. The Crown
Regent would temporarily act on your behalf, and their word must be followed no differently than if it were you issuing the orders.โ
โOh.โ I blinked. โIโฆdidnโt know that. Butโโ โThere is no but.โ
โButย there is.โ Panic started to creep in. โIf something were to happen to youโโ
โThere would be nothing for Cas to forgive you for if something did,โ he cut me off. โHe would expect nothing less than me being by your side.โ
I stared at him in disbelief. โIf youโd let me finish a sentence, I was about to sayย Iย would never forgive myself.โ
His stare softened. โAnd I would never forgive myself if you went into the heart of the Ascended without me.โ He clasped the back of my neck. โJust as I havenโt for letting Cas go all those years ago.โ
Oh, gods. โKieranโโ
โDonโt forget what he means to me, Poppy. Iโve known him my whole damn life,โ he said. โWe shared the same crib more times than not. We took our first steps together. Sat at the same table most nights, refusing to eat the same vegetables. We explored tunnels and lakes, pretended that fields were new, undiscovered kingdoms. We were inseparable. And that didnโt change as we grew older.โ His voice roughened, and he dropped his forehead to mine. โHe was and still is a part of me.โ
I closed my eyes against the burn accompanying the images that his words brought forth. Them toddling about together, Kieran on two legs and four. Holding each other as they napped. Coming home covered in dirt and the gods only knew what else.
โWhere I went, Cas was there. Where he traveled, I followed. The only time we have ever been separated and couldnโt get back to one another was when they held him captiveโand now. But I was there for him afterward. I watched him night after night, waking in a panic and thinking that he was back in that cell. I saw what had been done to him. How he couldnโt stand to be touched at one point. How even the sight of bathwater caused him to freeze up.โ
โBathwater?โ I asked, half afraid.
โThey wanted him clean when they wanted him.โ Oh, gods.
Nausea churned. I shook, caught between rage and despair and shock because my mother had been one of his abusers. How could Casteel even
look at meโ?
I stopped myself from going downย thatย path. He knew who I was. โWhat he means to me has nothing to do with a damn bond,โ Kieran
said. โI need to go as badly as you do, and he needs me there just as badly as he needs you.โ
Casteel did need Kieran.
โIโm sorry,โ I croaked. โI forgot.โ โItโs understandable that you would.โ
โNo, itโs really not.โ My grief was mine, and it was potent. But it was no more devastating than what Kieran or anyone else who cared for Casteel was experiencing. โI wonโt forget it again.โ
Kieranโs forehead slid against mine as he nodded. โWeโre on the same page then.โ
โWe are.โ I blinked back tears.
โThen who will be Crown Regent,ย meyaah Liessa?โ
It was hard to focus when all I wanted to do was hug Kieran and sob. I wanted to sit down and have a good cry, but there wasnโt time for that.
I pulled away, forcing myself to think over what Kieran had suggested. Worrying my lower lip, I looked down at my closed hand. The ring had warmed to my skin. I didnโt know what kind of shape Casteel would be in when I found him. He could be okay or not, but he would want Kieran to be with me and to be there for him. It couldnโt be just Kieran and me or a handful of others. No Queen would travel across a realm without guards. But we needed the fire of the gods.
โI saw Reaver in his mortal form earlier.โ Kieran arched a brow. โThatโฆwas random.โ โHeโs blond.โ
โThanks for sharing?โ
โHe was also completely naked while perched on a pillar,โ I added. โI donโt even know what to say to that.โ
โMe, neither,โ I murmured. โBut the point is, we need to bring a draken with us. They can help. Not just withโฆwith Casteel but also with my father. Nektas wants him back.โ
โI agree.โ He paused. โBut I have a feeling I wonโt like what youโre about to suggest. To bring Reaver with us. The other draken will be here soon. Aurelia shiftedโโ
โFor only a few minutes. I at least know Reaver feels comfortable enough in his mortal form to do it for longer than that.โ
โGreat.โ Kieran appeared as if heโd rather face down an army of skeleton soldiers again.
โHeโll need clothing.โ
โDonโt know why youโre telling me this.โ
โYou two appear to be about the same size.โ
Kieran stared at me and then cursed. โWhatever. Iโll see what I have.โ
I grinned, and it incited a confusing mix of emotions. It felt odd. Even a little wrong. But it was also a relief to know that I could still find humor despite what I held in my hand.
Then I remembered what else Reaver had told me. โThis may not be the best moment to bring this up, but when I talked to Reaver, I found out that I will have to feed eventually. And, apparently, because Iโm a god, I can feed off anyone. Except the draken. Even mortals. Who knew?โ I said, then told him what Reaver believed about how often I would need to feed. โBut thereโs more. It seems using eather can weaken me. He doesnโt know how much I can use before it has an effect. I donโt think it includes anything I was able to do beforeโโ
โDoes feeding off anyone mean you can feed off wolven?โ he cut in.
โYes. Wolven would fall under the everything-but-a-draken umbrella.โ โThen feed off me if you need to.โ
I sucked in a sharp breath. โKieranโโ
โI know you donโt want to feed off anyone but Cas,โ he said, and the breath I took withered. โAnd I know that feedings can getโฆintense, but youโll be safe with me.โ His eyes searched mine. โYou know damn well that Cas wouldnโt want you feeding off anyone but me.โ
A strangled laugh left me. Casteel would probably rip the limbs off whoever I fed fromโanyone but Kieran, anywayโleaving them alive only because he knew the blood was necessary for me.
โItโs not that,โ I said, shoving a strand of hair back from my face. Feedings could be intense, and I wasnโt sure if feeding off someone might cause the same kinds of wicked pleasure a bite could bring. But it wasnโt thatโwell, it wasnโtย completelyย that. I hadnโt even begun to wrap my head around the possibility that me feeding off someone other than my husband could bring them pleasure.
Could bringย meย pleasure.
And I wasnโt about to start thinking about that right now. โI donโt want you to feel as if you have to offer yourself.โ
โI donโt offer because Iย haveย to.โ Kieran squeezed the back of my neck. โI offer because Iย wantย to.โ
โReally? You sure thatโs not theย notam? That itโs not your friendship with Casteel?โ
โIt could be partly because of theย notam. And it is because of my friendship with Cas. But itโs also my friendship withย you. None of those things are mutually exclusive,โ he told me. โI would offer the same to Cas. I would offer the same to anyone I cared about. Just like I know you would for me if I needed that.โ
My breath stung. Iย wouldย offer myself if he needed to feed, and the reminder of how far Kieran and I had come rattled me in an entirely different way. I was pretty sure he hadnโt liked me when we first met. Or, at the very least, Iโd annoyed him to no end. But nowโฆ? I blinked back the dampness gathering in my eyes.
Kieran started to frown. โAre you about to cry?โ โNo.โ
โDoesnโt look that way.โ
โThen stop looking, and it wonโt.โ โThat doesnโt even make sense, Poppy.โ
A burst of sugary amusement gathered on the tip of my tongue. I glared at him. โThis isnโt funny.โ
โI know it shouldnโt be.โ His lips twitched. โBut it kind of is.โ โShut up,โ I griped.
The grin appeared briefly. โWeโre on the same page, right? When you need to feed, youโll come to me?โ All traces of humor were gone now. โAnd you wonโt let it get to a point where youโre weakened?โ
โWeโre on the same page.โ
His hold on the back of my neck firmed once more. โWhat about the regent?โ
A few moments passed. โVonetta. I would make Vonetta the Crown Regent.โ
Approval hummed as he let his walls down around him, tasting of buttery cakes. โGood choice.โ
I nodded. โYou know how to get into Carsodonia, right? I doubt you and Casteel walked through the gates of the Rise.โ
He snorted. โNo. We went in through the Elysium Peaks.โ
My stomach dropped all the way to the tips of my toes. The Peaks were vastโall one could see to the west and south of Carsodonia. And they extended into the Willow Plains. Theyโd even built the Rise into theโ It struck me then. โYou all went in through the mines.โ
Kieran nodded. โThe entrances to the mines are right inside the Rise. The tunnels are guarded, but not like the gates. Of course, that was also how Malik got in there. It was how Casteel andโฆโ His mouth tightened. โThat was how Shea got him out of Carsodonia. From there, he ended up on the beaches of the Stroud Sea.โ
Shea. Thereโd been anger before when I thought of her. Now, there was only sadness.
โCan we get out the same way we get in once we find Casteel and my father?โ
Kieran nodded. โWe could. But, Poppy, it will take time to get out of those mines. Besides the likelihood of them guarding those entrances now, Cas was in them for a while, searching for a way out. He may have made it sound like it took no time, but it did.โ
โGods,โ I whispered, heartsick over a past I couldnโt change. โIs there a better way?โ
โBesides going through the gates in disguise, no. If we get caught in the mines, we can fight our way out and then disappear into the city far easier than if they discover us at the gates.โ
That was true. Carsodonia was a maze of narrow streets and vine- covered alleys that ran through districts and neighborhoods sprawled across rolling hills and valleys.
He took a breath. โI donโt know how to say this other than to just say it. We donโt know what kind of shape Cas will be in, but we know that your father will likely be worse off.โ
He didnโt say anything else, but I knew what he meant. We couldnโt free both of them.
โWe will still free him,โ Kieran said quietly. โFreeing Cas doesnโt end the war. We will have to go back to Carsodonia.โ
I nodded, hating the idea of being so close to my father and doing nothing. But he was right. Again.
โItโs a plan, then?โ Kieran asked. โIt is.โ
I took yet another breath, and it was less painful than all the ones before it because we would find and free Casteel. And I would make sure that any piece of him that he lost was found once more. He would know exactly who he was when I saw him again.
I would make sure of it.