AUGUST 22ND 2004 JOEY
MOLLOY SNOOKERED me with an invitation to dinner with her family that I couldn’t get myself out of.
I’d been in her house countless times over the years, but never as her invited guest for a family dinner.
Unnerved and completely unprepared for what I was about to face, I stood slightly behind her the whole way there, keeping my hands in my jean’s pockets.
Don’t touch her, I mentally warned myself, as she opened the front door and stepped inside, and no goddamn fighting.
“It’s okay,” she said, with a smug grin, as she gestured for me to follow her into the lion’s den.
Yeah, it might be okay for her, I thought bitterly, but I was the one with everything on the line here.
My ability to provide for my family.
My ability to procreate with a functional pair of balls.
Yeah, I had a feeling both were at stake today. This was all new territory to me.
One minute, I was twelve years old, and locking eyes on her at the school gates, and the next, I was seventeen, standing in her house, about to tell her father that she was mine.
Christ.
I had no fucking clue how to make this work without screwing everything up.
Because let’s face it, I had a gift for fucking up.
Muttering out a string of curse words under my breath, I followed her into the house, feeling my heartrate increase with every step I took closer to the kitchen – a kitchen I knew well, considering I’d helped Tony fit it three summers ago.
“Aoife, is that you, love?” With her back to the door, Trish Molloy reached into the oven and retrieved the nicest smelling joint of roast beef I’d ever had the pleasure of smelling. “Have you any idea what time young Joey is coming over? The meat’s just done, and I want to serve it while it’s hot.”
“Yeah, Mam,” Molloy offered, offering me a reassuring nudge with her shoulder. “We’re both here.”
Here we go.
“Joey, love.” Setting the roasting tin on the counter, Trish pulled off her oven glove and shuffled over to us. “How are you?” With a warm smile, she grabbed my arms, reached up, and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “It’s lovely to have you over.”
Repressing the urge to jerk away from her touch, I forced myself to smile down at the low-sized, blonde.
“It’s good to see you, Trish.” Feeling at a complete fucking loss, I shrugged and added, “Thanks for having me over.” Again. “The food smells great.”
“Ah, sure you should know by now that you’re always welcome in this house,” she replied, and then frowned. “But what have I told you about keeping that hood up and hiding that handsome face.” Reaching a hand up, she pulled my hood down. “Now.” She smiled and patted my cheek. “Much better.”
Jesus.
“Yeah, Joey.” Snickering, Molloy trailed after her mam, helping to set the table and lay out the cutlery. “You really need to stop wearing your hood up all the time.”
“Force of habit, I guess,” I bit out, glaring at the back of her head. “Can I help with anything?”
“No, no, love,” Trish said, ushering me over to the table. “You sit down and relax. You’re our guest. We’ll look after you for a change.”
The sound of a throat clearing filled my ears, and I didn’t need to look behind me to know that Tony had entered the kitchen.
“Joey,” he said with a sniff, as he walked over to the joint of beef. “You’re keeping well?”
“Tony.” Forcing myself to remain calm, I offered him a small nod. “All good. Thanks for, ah, for having me over.”
“It was Aoife’s idea.” Reaching into the drawer, he retrieved the sharpest looking carving knife I’d ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on. “She said the two of you had something to discuss with us.”
That’s how he’ll do it, I thought to myself, as I made my peace with God, that’s what he’ll use when he cuts my balls off.
“Dad,” Molloy growled in a warning tone. “You promised.” Tony held his hands up. “Have I said a harsh word to the lad?”
“You didn’t have to,” she snapped back. “The fact that you’re glaring at him while yielding a carving knife says it all for you.”
Christ.
“Listen, Tony.” Knowing that I was going to have to get this over with sooner or later, I pushed my chair back and stood. “Can we talk outside?”
“You want to talk?”
“Yeah, I do.” I glanced warily at the shiny piece of steel in his hand. “Preferably without the knife.”
“Right so, boyo, let’s have that talk.”
Reluctantly setting the knife down, my boss nodded stiffly and opened the back door, before stepping outside.
“Aoife, stay here,” Trish called out when Molloy attempted to follow me out.
“But—“
“No buts, young lady,” her mother replied. “Now be a good girl and mash the spuds for your poor mammy. My arthritis is flaring up.”
Worrying on her lip, Molloy offered me a helpless shrug as I walked to my fate.
If I die today, it’s on your conscience, I mentally told her, as I stepped outside and closed the back door behind me.
Turning to face her father, who was glaring at me like I had betrayed him, and let’s face it I had, I quickly held my hands up. “Before you say a word, just know that I didn’t set out to disrespect you in any way, shape, or form.”
He sighed heavily. “Joey.”
“I know that you’ve been good to me,” I hurried to add. “And this probably feels like the ultimate betrayal, considering you warned me not to go there with her, but I care about your daughter, Tony.”
He shook his head. “Joey—“
“I do, Tony,” I urged. “I really fucking care about her, okay? This isn’t a fleeting notion, either. We didn’t get together on a whim. I put a hell of a lot of thought into this,” I added, blowing out a breath. “She’s my friend, Tony. My best friend – has been for a long time now. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I didn’t see it coming, but I can truthfully say that I did everything I could to stop it from happening—“
“Joey!” Tony barked, and I quickly clamped my mouth shut. “I only have two questions for you.”
Oh Jesus.
“And take your time answering them,” he added. “Because I only want the truth, lad.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“First.” He eyed me carefully and asked, “Do you love my daughter?”
Heart thumping violently in my chest, I felt myself nod. “Entirely.” And then I heard myself say, “For about five years now.”
Well shit…
“Second,” he said slowly. “Do you see a future with her?”
“No,” I admitted, hating my words, but needing to give him the truth, because if anyone deserved my honesty it was this man. “I don’t see a future for us, but that’s not because I don’t want one with her. It’s because I don’t see a future for myself, period.”
The hard look on his face softened. “Ah, lad.” I shook off his sympathy.
I didn’t want it, and I didn’t need it.
“I know that I let you down,” I continued, blowing out a harsh breath. “So, there won’t be any hard feelings on my end if you need to let me go at work.”
“Let you go?” Tony frowned. “Why would I do that?”
I stared back in confusion. “Because I fell in love with your daughter when you told me not to.”
“We seem to have our wires crossed, boyo,” Tony said with a heavy sigh, as he walked towards me and clamped a hand on my shoulder. “I warned you off my daughter because I didn’t want to lose a good worker if it all went pear shaped, and for no other reason.”
I frowned at him. “But I thought…“
“You’re a grand lad, Joey,” Tony added, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “A lad I would be happy to see look after my Aoife.”
“No.” I shook my head, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m really not, Tony.”
“You forget that I’ve known you since you were a small boy of twelve,” he reminded me, as he steered us towards the back door. “I remember looking at this small scrap of a lad standing in the garage, down on his luck and with the weight of the world on his shoulders. That small boy asked me for a chance that day,” he added, voice thick with emotion. “I took a chance on that boy, and I’m glad that I did, because the man that small boy turned into is a man who I am damn proud of.”
