This journey by ship has been much more enjoyable than the last one.
It helps that Corrick doesnโt hate anyone on board. Rian remained behind in Ostriary, but most of his crew is manning the ship with Olive. Mouse is traveling with us, too. I was uncertain about that at first, but Corrick was worried that in his absence, the man would still be abused by those who remained from Orenโs followers. Olive expressed her worries as well, but since we shoved off, Mouse has been quiet and reserved, working with the crew and doing what heโs toldโthough he still refers to Corrick as Weston.
At night, we all sit under the stars and play games while enjoying lively conversation. There are no barbed comments, no caustic remarks, no tricks or lies or threats. Ellmo and Anya play knucklebones on the deck in the morning, and Olive and Erik can sometimes be found embracing in shadowed corners. Lochlanโs usualย edge seems to be gone, and Iโm reminded of the day he once said to me,ย I am kind.
When he plays games with the children or helps the sailors gut the fish or brings me a plate of food, I feel like Iโm seeing it for the first time.
Or maybe Iโm just . . .ย allowingย myself to see it. New information, like Erik said that day in the woods.
โWhatโs Erik going to do when Olive has to go back to Ostriary?โ I murmur to Corrick one night when weโre in the dim confines of our quarters. Weโve made the turn north up the Queenโs River, and the rocking of the ship has grown stronger, but I almost donโt care anymore. Weโre so close to home. Two or three days at most.
โQuit his job,โ Corrick says immediately.
I swat him on the arm. โIโm serious.โ
He looks back at me. โSo am I. After everything weโve gone through, can you truly see Rocco returning to his post among the kingโs personal guard?โ
I study him for a moment, consideringโand Iโm shocked to realize heโs right. โWow.โ
โI wouldnโt be surprised if he asks Harristan for leave the very instant we get back.โ
I blow out a breath. โIt wasnโt too long ago that he was telling me heโd give the king forty more years if he could.โ
โWell, I could be wrong, but based on the way he and Olive have been attached to each other, Iโd expect him to moon around for all forty.โ Corrick smiles and tugs me against him. โHavenโt you learned? Love changes things.โ
Before I can come up with an answer to that, his mouth falls on mine. He steals my breath until my heart is racing against him, warmth pooling in my belly.
But then he pulls away, his hands chastely on my waist.
Which is exactly what heโs done every single time heโs kissed me on this ship.
Weโre so close to home, and my cheeks are on fire, so I grab hold of his shirt and hold him against me this time.
He laughs so softly that itโs almost a growl. โTessa.โ
โWhy do you keep pulling away?โ
โI told you I would make a declaration before the king. I gave you my word.โ He strokes a gentle finger along the side of my face, but then a devilish glint sparks in his eye. โNo matter what I want, I meant what I said.โ
โYou mean we canโt do anything until you talk to yourย brother?โ I demand.
โWellโno, of course not. But I thought youโโ
โLord, Corrick.โ I press my lips to his again, thrusting the full length of my body against his. This time I pull a real growl from his throatโespecially when I tug his shirt free of his trousers. I donโt even hesitate: I simply pull it straight up, and he helps me by yanking it right over his head. Then my hands are on the bare skin of his chest, and he buries his fingers in my hair, and suddenly Iโm drowning in the taste of his mouth.
Iโm so eager that I expect him to be quick, but his hands are slow. Gentle. Patient. When he draws the lacings free on my vest, Iโm so desperate for his touch that I seize his wrist and pull his palm against the bare skin of my waist. His fingers trace a line of fire all the way up my rib cage, and when he lingers on my breast, itโs my turn to make a low sound of need.
I donโt know when we make it to the bed, just that weโve abandoned most of our clothes on the way. His arms are so strong, and his body is so warm, and Iโve never felt so cherished, so loved, soย adored. When we come together, heโs so careful, his blue eyes close and intent on mine. I press a hand to his cheek, run a thumb over his mouth. We have so many moments, so many memories, and this one etches its way right to the top.
But then he moves, and I gasp, and his fingers trace the edge of my breast, and suddenly I canโt think at all for a while.
Itโs late and Iโm tired, but neither one of us is sleeping. Iโm laying across his chest, running my fingers through the new scruff of beard growth on Corrickโs chin.
โIs this annoying?โ I say.
โQuite a bit.โ
I grin. โItโs very different.โ
โIt feltย veryย rebellious.โ
That makes my smile widen. But as I gaze down at him, I suddenly realize itโs not the facial hair that looks different. Itโs . . . โhim. Heโs always been bold and unflinching as the Kingโs Justice, but something in his bearing has changed. Itโs like the moment he agreed to go after Olive, or the way he stared through the spyglass and helped formulate a plan to take down Oren Crane. The way heโs formed more than just a friendship with Lochlan, and how he seems to have secured something akin to true loyalty and allegiance. Even his final speech to Rian about how heย alsoย wanted the best for the people of Ostriary was startling. Itโs a new presence that heโs acquired. A steadfast look in his gaze, maybe. Thereโs a determination there. A powerful resolve.
His blue eyes fix on mine. โDo you like it?โ
I stroke a thumb over his chin. โVery much,โ I say, and Iโm not really talking about facial hair at all.
He runs a hand across his jaw, capturing my fingers within his own. โHarristan will probably insist that I have Geoffrey shave it the instant I get back to the palace.โ He goes still when he says that. โIt feels so odd to say that after so many weeks.โ
He looks up, over my head, at the dark porthole on the wall, and I follow his gaze. We can see the first hint of lights somewhere in the distance, the promise of cities in the more populous sectors.
โWeโre almost home,โ he says.
โIโve missed Kandala so much.โ
Heโs quiet for a moment. โMe too.โ
Longing fills his eyes, and when he says the words, I hear the weight in his voice. But itโs notย Kandalaย that heโs missing so much.