Someone singing happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, old purple balls, happy birthday to you, broke through the best fucking dream I was having that involved a naked Shannon, with her mouth around my dick. The sound of a door slamming loudly tore through my happy thoughts, and then I was buried beneath an insufferable weight, as her pretty face disappeared from my mind’s eye.
Jerking awake with a start, I scrambled to push the covers I was smothering under away from my face. ‘My best friend is all grown up!’ the voice continued to say. ‘The big one-eight! You can legally buy me drink and smokes whenever I want now. It’s like it’s your birthday, but I’m the one reaping the benefits.’
‘Get off me, you big bastard!’ I snarled when I finally managed to free myself from the sheets I was tangled up in. Shooting straight up in my bed, I snaked an arm out and shoved Gibsie off the bed before throwing back the covers, panic stricken at the thought of the pancake he might have made of my girlfriend if he managed to land on her, but she wasn’t there.
Confused, I searched my mattress, but no naked Shannon.
‘That’s a lovely way to treat me,’ Gibsie huffed from where I had knocked him onto the floor. ‘Charming.’
‘What time is it?’
‘You just threw me off your bed when I came all the way over here to wish you a happy birthday,’ he grumbled, climbing to his feet. ‘You should apologize for manhandling me, Johnny, not ask me for the time –’
‘What fucking time is it, Gibs?’ I snapped, rolling out of bed to search the mattress.
‘It’s only half-six,’ he huffed. ‘Jesus, you’re supposed to be peppy on your birth – oh for the love of god! Would you put that oversized beast away!’
‘If you don’t want to see my cock, knock before you walk into my room,’ I shot back as I stalked, bollocks naked, into my bathroom and slammed the door behind me. In a hushed voice, I said, ‘Shan, you in here?’
‘Over here,’ she whispered back.
Grinning, I pulled back the shower curtain and cocked a brow. ‘I knew I didn’t dream you up.’
‘Uh, nope, not a dream.’ Blushing, she dragged the shower curtain back around her body and squirmed. ‘Happy eighteenth birthday.’
‘Best birthday yet,’ I purred, pushed back the curtain once more to step into the tub. ‘You in my bed –’ Pausing, I grabbed her thighs and hoisted her into my arms. Pressing her against the wall of my shower, I smirked. ‘With your mouth around my –’
‘Are you talking to yourself again?’ Gibsie shouted from the other side of the door. ‘Should I be worried? Are you having another panic attack? Is it because of the tour or your birthday? Because you’re only turning eighteen, lad, not eighty, and the tour will be grand. Just breathe. Nice and slow. Will I get your Mam–’
‘No! Jesus Christ, don’t get my Ma,’ I strangled out, burying my face in her neck. ‘I’m not having a panic attack, lad.’
‘You’re not?’
I snapped my head back up. ‘No!’
‘Then what are you doing?’
‘I’m taking a shite,’ I shot back, causing Shannon to giggle. ‘Shh,’ I mouthed, rubbing myself against her. ‘Go downstairs and wait for me, Gibs,’ I called out. ‘I’ll be like fifteen minutes –’ My eyes roamed over her naked body and my dick strained. Fuck. ‘Maybe twenty.’
‘Yeah, I see pink knickers on your floor, so I know exactly what kind of shit you’re taking, you lucky bastard,’ he called back. ‘Hey, Little Shannon.’
Shannon’s eyes widened. ‘Uh, hey, Gibsie.’
‘Nice floral bra, Shan,’ he added. ‘I love the colors – hold on a second! Are you a B cup now?’
‘Get the fuck out of here,’ I roared. ‘And don’t touch her bra!’
‘I’m just saying that a full cup size is a big jump in one month,’ Gibsie replied. ‘Fair play, girl. You’re blossoming –’
‘I’m going to rip your gooch off and feed it to you, ya bleeding pervert,’ I snarled, setting Shannon down so I could climb out of the tub. Swinging the bathroom door open, I stalked towards him. ‘And how the fuck would you know what size bra my girlfriend wears?’
‘Because I have eyes,’ he laughed and then flung Shannon’s bra at me before diving across the bed to get away. ‘You know when people say they’re a great judge of character? Well, I’m a great judge of tit size–’
‘I hope you enjoyed your last meal, Gerard,’ I snarled, leaping onto my bed, stark naked. ‘Because you’re going to die today.’
‘You keep that beast away from me!’ he choked out, making the sign of the cross with this index fingers. ‘The power of Christ compels you!’
‘What are you doing?’ Ollie’s voice filled my ears and I dropped to the mattress quicker than a cat.
‘Alright, bud?’ I strangled out, covering myself with my blankets.
‘Why are you naked, Johnny?’ he asked, standing in my doorway in his Spiderman pajamas. ‘Where are your pajamas?’
‘I was having a shower,’ I lied through my teeth and told him, scrambling to cover myself up. ‘Gibsie broke in and stole my towel, so I’m giving out to him.’
‘Yeah.’ Laughing nervously, Gibsie shrugged. ‘We’re always playing jokes on each other.’
‘That’s not funny,’ Ollie said with a scowl. ‘He could get the double die-monia if he doesn’t dry his hair.’
‘The double die-what-e-a?’ Gibsie snickered.
‘The double die-monia, ‘ Ollie repeated. ‘Mammy told us it nearly whipped our Nanny once.’ His brows furrowed. ‘I’m not sure what that means, but she got it ’cause she wasn’t drying her hair, and it’s supposed to be like super bad. They put you in a hospital and everything!’
‘He means double pneumonia,’ I corrected, stifling a groan. ‘I’m all good, Ol. Don’t worry. It’s the summertime. I won’t get sick.’
‘Yeah, well, it’s still not funny,’ he huffed. Turning to Gibsie, he added, ‘How would you feel if someone took your towel?’
‘Fair point, kid,’ Gibsie replied, stifling a laugh. ‘I promise I won’t take Johnny’s towel again.’
‘Well, give it back to him now,’ Ollie insisted, not budging from the doorway. ‘Come on,’ he urged. ‘Do the right thing, and say you’re sorry.’
‘I’m so sorry, Johnny,’ Gibsie choked out, holding a hand in front of his mouth. ‘And I would love to give you back your towel, but I seem to have misplaced it.’
‘Don’t worry, Johnny,’ Ollie said with a huff. ‘I’ll get you a new one.’ He moved for my bathroom quicker than I had a chance to register what was happening.
‘No, no, no –’ I called out, but it was too late. He had the door wide open, revealing Shannon standing there – thankfully wrapped in a bath towel.
‘Ollie, get out,’ Shannon hissed, slamming the door shut once more. ‘Oh my god!’
‘Dellie!’ Ollie shouted at the top of his lungs. ‘I caught them again!’
‘Please, please, stop shouting,’ I begged. ‘Don’t tell her –’
‘I want my money,’ Ollie shot back. ‘And you know the rules, mister rule-breaker.’ Narrowing his eyes at me, he said, ‘You’re not allowed to play with my sister on your own.’ He folded his arms across his chest. ‘And you’ve got no clothes on. Dellie says that’s a big no-no.’
‘But it’s my birthday,’ I strangled out, not against emotional blackmail given the current circumstances and prospective consequences. ‘And I’ll give you fifty quid if you don’t tell Dellie.’
He tilted his head to one-side, studying me carefully. ‘One-hundred.’
‘What?’ I gaped at him. ‘But it’s my birthday!’
‘That’s why it’s one-hundred,’ Ollie replied. ‘Otherwise, I’d need a trillion.’
I narrowed my eyes right back at him. ‘What do you need a hundred quid for?’
‘For my Legos,’ he replied. ‘And my business.’
‘Oh yeah?’ I arched a brow. ‘And what business is that?’
‘My spy business,’ he told me. ‘And you’re my number one target.’ He squinted his eyes at me. ‘I’m watching you all the time.’
Jesus Christ… Shaking my head, I pointed to my jeans. ‘Get my wallet.’
‘Woo-hoo!’ Grinning from ear to ear, Ollie dragged my wallet out of my discarded jeans and handed it to me. ‘That’s a good choice, Johnny.’
‘You better keep quiet about this,’ I warned him as I handed over two fifties. ‘Or else I’m going to declare war on your treehouse.’
‘You wouldn’t dare,’ he gasped.
‘Oh, I would,’ I shot back with a nod. ‘Gibs and I will make an even bigger treehouse, and then we’ll bomb yours with water balloons until you surrender, and then we’ll hijack it like pirates.’
‘Oh, I’m so fucking down for that,’ Gibsie declared in an excited tone. ‘I have an excellent aim.’
‘Fine, I won’t tell on you,’ Ollie huffed, snatching the cash out of my hand and then holding it up to the light to check its authenticity. ‘But this is a one-time deal. If I catch you near my sister again, you’re fair game, Johnny Kavanagh.’
‘Deal,’ I agreed. ‘Now, out you go.’
With a stiff nod, Ollie stalked out of my room only to pause in the doorway and run back to my bed. ‘Oh – and happy birthday,’ he said, giving me a quick hug. ‘I love you.’ With that, he scampered out of my room with my cash in his hands.
‘That kid is slick,’ Gibsie said in a tone laced with admiration for the young hustler. ‘Little Lynch has more of Joey the hurler in him than I thought.’
‘Yeah? Well, little Lynch just walked out of here with our beer fund for the camping trip today,’ I grumbled as I reached for my discarded boxers and slipped them on.
‘That little shit,’ Gibsie growled, not looking so fucking admiring now. ‘For that, I am going to water-balloon and hijack his treehouse.’
‘No, you’re not, lad,’ I said wearily. ‘You’re going to go downstairs and wait for me in the kitchen.’
‘Fine,’ Gibsie huffed, heading for my door. ‘But one of these days, we’re going to take the fort back. ‘We’re going to take it all back,’ he added before closing my bedroom door behind him.
‘Coast is clear, Shan,’ I called out. ‘We’re off the hook.’
‘Oh my god!’ Shannon burst out of my bathroom, red-faced and flailing. ‘I am so embarrassed.’
‘It’s okay,’ I coaxed, patting the mattress next to me. ‘Come here –’
‘No way!’ Shannon strangled out, grabbing her clothes off my bedroom floor. ‘He’ll be back. That bribe only stands for as long as it takes him to put that cash in his money box. He’s ruthless, Johnny. I give him five minutes, tops.’
‘Will you give me a kiss, at least,’ I grumbled when she rushed to my door.
‘I’ll kiss you later in our tent,’ she called out, blowing a kiss at me before legging it down the hallway. ‘Love you!’
‘Yeah,’ I muttered, flopping back onto my mattress. ‘Love you back.’
