What was I doing?
What the hell was I doing?
I couldn’t think straight. All I could see was Shannon, sprawled out naked on my bed, and every doubt, fear, and concern I knew I should be feeling flew clean out the window.
‘You’re sure?’ I asked her again, needing the reassurance. ‘You’re really, really sure?’
Shivering beneath me, she nodded, wide-eyed and flushed. ‘I’m ready, Johnny.’
‘But you’re sore,’ I croaked out as my dick strained against my jocks, desperate to get to her. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You won’t hurt me,’ she whispered, reaching up to cup my jaw. ‘I want this.’
Fuck.
Fuck!
Exhaling shakily, I climbed off her and stood up, knowing that it was way too soon, but resigned to doing it anyway. ‘You can say no,’ I told her as I slid my fingers into the waistband of my jocks and pulled them down. ‘You can always say no,’ I added, stepping out of them and moving back to her. ‘And I’ll hear you, okay?’
Nodding, Shannon pulled herself up on her elbows, attention riveted to my dick that was standing at full mast.
‘Yeah…so, this is my dick,’ I stated and then mentally kicked the shite out of myself for saying something so fucking stupid. Like I needed to label a cock and balls.
Jesus Christ.
‘Yep,’ Shannon blew out a shaky breath and sat all the way up. ‘That’s your dick, alright.’ I held my breath as she reached out and stroked a finger over the head and of course, my dick jerked and twitched from the contact. ‘It moved.’ Her gaze flicked up to meet mine. ‘By itself.’
‘You’re encouraging it,’ I choked out, feeling weak at the knees, as I took a step closer. ‘Touch it and it’s going to get all kinds of fucking notions.’
She trailed her fingertips over my scars then and exhaled another loud breath. ‘You’re so beautiful, Johnny.’ Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to the jagged line on my pelvis before placing another one on the scar much lower. ‘I love you so much.’
Fuck. ‘I love you, too,’ I bit out through clenched teeth, hands balled into fists at my sides. There were no words to explain the sensations that flooded my body when she put her lips on me. Deciding to sit down before I collapsed, I lowered myself down on the bed and pulled Shannon down so that we were on our sides, facing each other. ‘We don’t have to do anything, okay?’ I said, cupping her cheek. ‘I’m happy just being here with you.’
‘Johnny?’ she whispered, mirroring my movements by cupping my cheek.
My breath caught in my throat. ‘Yeah, Shan?’
‘Shh.’
And then she kissed me.
And I lost it.
Whatever sliver of self-control I’d been clinging to snapped the instant she decided it would be a good idea to put her lips on mine. Pushing me onto my back, Shannon climbed on top me, never once breaking our kiss, as she slid her hands into my hair, doing that thing with her fingers that drove me fucking mental.
I couldn’t take it.
She was too much for me.
Rolling her onto her back, I settled between her legs, kissing her deeply as I stretched a hand out and reached for my bedside locker. Slapping around aimlessly, I accidentally dropped my hand down on the remote to my stereo, causing Athlete’s Wires to blast loudly from the speakers. ‘Shite,’ I growled, reaching for the remote. ‘I’ll turn it off–’
‘No, it’s okay,’ Shannon breathed against my lips. ‘Leave it on.’
Groaning into her mouth, I yanked the drawer open and grabbed the box of condoms, all while throwing a silent prayer to the heavens, thanking Jesus for my fucking fantastic best friend and his forward thinking.
Good man, Gibs…
Fumbling around one handed, I managed to tear open the box and pull a condom free. Tossing the box on my bedroom floor, I settled between her legs, hands shaking like an ivy-leaf, matching the rest of me. ‘You sure, Shan?’ I asked, tearing my lips from hers as I ripped open the wrapper and rolled the condom on. ‘You really want this?’
‘I really want you,’ she whispered, nodding up at me, and I swear my heart seized in my chest. I couldn’t take the sight of her laid out on my pillows. She was too much for me.
‘I love you so much,’ I strangled out, voice thick with emotion as I settled between her legs and dropped onto one elbow. ‘I’ll be careful,’ I added, kissing her deeply as I slowly nudged myself against her. ‘I promise.’
‘I trust you,’ she breathed, hands moving to my hips. ‘I want this with you.’
‘It might hurt,’ I admitted, pressing my forehead to hers, as my heart pounded so hard against my ribcage that I could hear it. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘I’m not afraid,’ she whispered, pulling on my waist and tilting her hips upwards.
I could feel her; so warm and hot and fucking perfect, and Jesus was I scared. I’d never been more frightened of breaking anything in my life as I was in this moment with this girl. She was the virgin, but I was the one shaking enough for the both of us. I felt too much for her. I loved her more than was safe for me.
‘I want this,’ she whispered, curling her arms around my neck and pulling my lips to hers. ‘I promise,’ she added before pressing her lips to mine. Her tongue invaded my mouth, stroking mine with that sweet, tentative touch I craved so much.
A deep shudder rolled through me and I clenched my eyes shut before pushing inside her in one steady thrust. Shannon whimpered and I froze, heart racing violently in my chest. ‘Are you okay?’
Nodding, she clung to my neck and slammed her lips to mine once more. ‘Keep kissing me,’ she begged.
Holding my hips still, I continued to kiss her, desperate to soothe the ache I knew she was feeling as her body jerked and stiffened beneath mine. ‘I love you,’ I whispered between kisses, over and over again, as emotions I’d never felt in my life all battered through me – all for, because, and directed towards this girl. ‘I love you so much, Shannon like the river.’
I was holding onto my self-control by the skin of my teeth. The prospect of moving inside her was almost too much for me take. She was so tight, so fucking warm. Every time she clenched, clamping down on my dick like a vice grip, my eyes rolled back in my head. The small, needy, little whimpers and moans coming from her mouth as she adjusted to the feel of me inside her were killing me.
Jesus…
‘Are you okay?’ I whispered, as I battled the overwhelming urge to bury myself to the hilt inside her. Holding my weight up on one elbow, I cupped her cheek with my free hand and stroked her nose with mine, watching her face with lustful eyes. ‘Shan?’ Pressing my forehead to hers, I released a shuddering breath, ‘Can I move yet?’
‘Not…yet,’ she breathed, digging her nails into my shoulder blades as she clung to my body.
‘It’s okay,’ I soothed, kissing her lips and then moving to her neck. ‘You’re so beautiful.’
‘Johnny…’ her words broke off and she arched her hips upwards, causing me to slide deeper inside her.
I couldn’t stop the groan that tore from my throat when she squeezed me harder and my balls tightened.
‘I want you,’ she whispered, slowly thrusting herself upwards. ‘I want you to move in me.’
‘You sure?’ I croaked out, eyes glued to hers.
‘Yeah, it’s good now.’ Shannon breathed, cheeks flushed. ‘You feel good in me.’
Ah fuck.
Exhaling a ragged breath, I leaned down and kissed her as I slowly pulled out, before sinking back inside her, chest heaving with the effort it was taking to not come. ‘Is that okay?’
Moaning into my mouth, Shannon nodded and rocked her hips against mine as we built up a slow, gentle rhythm. Trailing my hand down her body, I hitched her thigh around my waist, causing us both to moan when the move made everything feel deeper, tighter, more connected.
‘You feel so good,’ she whispered, trembling beneath me. Releasing the death grip she had on my neck, she relaxed into the mattress and trailed her hands down my chest and over my sides. ‘You’re so beautiful.’
Jesus Christ, she was killing me. ‘You’re the beautiful one,’ I growled, moving a little faster, as the familiar swell of pleasure began to build. ‘Fuck,’ I groaned, claiming her lips once more. ‘Shannon, I need…fuck, I need –’
Bang, bang, bang…
‘Johnny, love, Dad’s back with the Chinese. He got you chicken balls.’
No.
No.
Dear God no!
‘That bleeding music will deafen you.’
Did I lock the door?
Did I?
I couldn’t fucking remember!
‘Johnny,’ Shannon hissed, eyes wide in horror, as she slapped at my chest. ‘Your door –’
‘Don’t open the door!’ I roared, abruptly pulling out of Shannon and then panicking when she winced in pain. ‘Oh shite, Shan, baby, are you okay?’
‘The door,’ Shannon strangled out. ‘Stop the door.’
‘Johnny, can you hear me, love?’ Mam called out. ‘I’m coming in.
‘No!’ I roared over the music. ‘Just fucking wait a second please!’
‘What are we going to do?’ Shannon whimpered, flapping like a caged bird on my bed.
‘I don’t know…’ Shaking my head, I glanced around, feeling helpless. What a disaster. ‘Fuck!’
‘Johnny, are you coming down for your chicken balls?’
‘Give me a bleeding minute, Ma,’ I called out, as I grabbed the sides of my duvet and wrapped my girlfriend up like a taco before rolling her under my bed. ‘Stay down, Shan,’ I told her. ‘I’ll sort this.’ Stumbling over the remote, I slammed my hand down on the stereo, cutting the music, before moving for the door.
‘Johnny!’ Shannon whisper-hissed from under my bed.
‘What?’
‘You’re naked.’
Shite.
Rolling the bloodstained condom off my still fully erect dick, I flung it across the room and lunged for my dresser, pulling out a pair of jocks and quickly slipping them on. Adjusting my raging fucking hard-on, I inhaled a steadying breath and walked over to the door.
‘You took an awful long time to answer your door,’ Mam stated, eyeing me suspiciously.
‘Yeah, sorry about that.’ Flustered and breathing hard, I nodded and feigned a yawn, desperately trying to steady my breathing. ‘I was sleeping.’
‘You were sleeping?’
I nodded.
‘At half past eight in the evening?’ Mam arched a disbelieving brow. ‘With your music blaring?’
I shrugged. ‘I’m tired.’
‘I bet you are.’ She moved to step forward and I quickly intercepted her, blocking her path. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Nothing,’ I lied, moving my body like a bleeding octopus when she tried to peer around me. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Checking for dirty washing,’ Mam replied. ‘Let me in.’
‘I don’t have any washing, Ma, and I don’t want any Chinese.’ Smiling at her, I attempted to close my bedroom door, but she held a hand up, stopping me in my tracks.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Nothing?’ she repeated, giving me a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look before stepping around me and marching right into my room.
I held my breath, while mentally debating if Shannon would break up with me if I hauled ass and ran while I still could because this woman was going to cut my dick off.
‘Are you alone?’
‘Of course.’ Biting on my fist, I reluctantly turned and followed her, praying to all that was holy for my mother to just fuck off. ‘I was trying to sleep, Ma.’
My gaze flicked to Shannon who was staring up at me from under my bed, eyes bulging. Padding over to the bed, I stood in front of her and watched my mother. She was clearly looking for something. My girlfriend.
‘So, where’s Shannon this evening?’ Mam asked, tone laced with suspicion.
‘No idea,’ I replied quickly. Too fucking quickly.
‘You have no idea?’ Mam shot back, tone disbelieving, as she searched my room with her eyes.
‘Actually, I think she might be at Claire’s,’ I hurried to amend my blunder. ‘Yeah.’ Nodding vigorously, I sank down on my bed and added, ‘She definitely told me that she was spending the night at Claire’s.’
Mam arched a brow. ‘Is that so?’
‘Yes, Ma.’ Trying to be inconspicuous, I dragged the bed sheet off the bed and let it fall over the edge, concealing my girlfriend. ‘Jesus, what’s with the third degree?’ A hand wrapped around my ankle then, nails digging into my skin, and I jerked from the contact. ‘Jesus!’
‘Excuse me?’ Mam asked, hands on her hips.
‘Tired,’ I choked out, clutching at straws. ‘Jesus, I’m really tired.’
‘Hmm.’ Something caught her eye then, something really fucking bad because her eyes narrowed and her face turned purple. Without a word, Mam walked over to the side of my bed, and I watched in horror as she bent down and retrieved the condom box.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
‘Opened,’ Mam growled, as she stalked back to where I was slumped and tossed the box on my lap. ‘Now, where is the girl to go with the johnnies, Johnny?’
I hung my head, knowing that I was thoroughly fucked. ‘Uh…’
‘I’m here, Mrs. Kavanagh,’ Shannon croaked out, peeking out from between my legs. ‘Sorry?’
‘Shannon.’ Mam blew out a ragged breath. ‘Come on out from under the bed please.’
‘I kind of can’t, Mrs. Kavanagh,’ Shannon squeezed out.
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’m kind of naked?’ she choked out, blushing.
‘And Jesus wept,’ Mam wailed, covering her face with her hands. ‘Both of you put your clothes on and meet me in the kitchen in two minutes,’ she strangled out before moving to the door, only to hesitate. ‘And give me those,’ she snapped as she stalked back to where I was sitting and snatched the box of condoms out of my hands. Swatting the back of my head with the condom box, she hissed, ‘You little toe-rag!’ before marching back out of the room, screaming, ‘John! Call the parish Priest. That child of yours needs confession!’
