I’m soaking wet and freezing on the deck of the ship. Fog is everywhere.
I feel nothing.
Corrick is gone.
I’ve lost him again. Lochlan is gone.
I’m sorry, Karri.
A hand touches my shoulder. “Tessa.”
Rian. I jerk away. I don’t trust my voice. I choke on a sob.
“Please.” My voice breaks. “Please go away.” He moves closer. “Tessa, I’m—”
“Keep your distance,” Rocco says sharply. I didn’t even realize he was nearby. I turn my head a fraction and see he’s facing down Rian.
I think the captain is going to snap at the guardsman, but he doesn’t. He straightens and takes a step back. “We’ll reach Fairde before daybreak. We’re in safer waters now. I thought you should know.”
I don’t care. I want to sink the ship myself. I say nothing.
“I told you to keep your distance,” Rocco says again.
Rian inhales—but then he must think better of it, because he moves away.
“Thank you, Rocco,” I whisper. “Yes, Miss Tessa.”
I swallow. We’ve both lost too much. “You don’t … you don’t have to guard me.”
After a moment, he sits down beside me. After another moment, he takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. It’s kind. Brotherly.
“There’s no one left to guard,” he says quietly.
I put my face in my hands. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to get back?”
“I don’t know.”
There’s something terrifyingly bleak about that.
We’ll reach Fairde before daybreak. I thought you should know.
I draw a shuddering breath, then swipe the tears off my cheeks. I’ve been too naive for too long. Too trusting of too many people. All I ever wanted to do was help the people around me, and all it’s ever led to is pain and suffering.
So I sit up straighter and I look at Rocco. “I don’t know what to expect in Fairde,” I say. “But we’re all that’s left, Rocco. We need to stick together. You and me.”
“Yes, Miss Tessa.”
I shake my head. “No Miss Tessa anymore. Just Tessa.” He nods. “Just Erik.” He holds out a hand.
“Erik,” I whisper. I clasp his hand. His almost dwarfs mine.
For an instance the fog breaks ahead, revealing a long stretch of glittering water. Beyond, I see a few scattered lights on the water, and my heart skips, expecting another attack. But they aren’t more ships. They’re fires or lanterns or something to indicate land.
And then, as I stare, the moonlight glistens on a large structure in the distance, a castle stretching into the sky.
I feel a band of steel wrapping around my spine, chasing away all the pain that feels too overwhelming. “I need you to help me with something,” I say to Rocco—to Erik.
“Anything,” he says.
“When we get to Ostriary,” I say, “I want you to teach me to fight.”
