Sunday evening, Grandma sends me to pick up dinner for the two of us at Plumpton Diner. On my way out, Mom informs me that their salads are disgusting and warns me against ordering one.
โWho orders salad at a diner?โ I ask, one foot out the door, the sticky humidity and chilly air-conditioning mixing together in a weird, unpleasant way.
She sniffs. โWell, everything else there is dripping in grease.โ โSounds delicious.โ
I escape before she can invite herself along.
The diner has been around since I was a kid, and it looks exactly the same on the outside. On the inside, the seats have been upgraded from cracked red plastic to a much nicer shade of blue. Itโs cleaner than I remember.
I walk to the counter and ask the red-haired teenager standing there about our order. Judging from the bored look on his face, he doesnโt appear to recognize me.
โItโs not ready yet.โ He looks down at his phone, scratching at a pimple on his cheek. โYou can sit wherever while you wait.โ
I slide onto an unsteady stool at the counter, glancing around at the other diners. Itโs early for dinnerโfive oโclockโand the place is pretty empty. Thereโs a couple in the corner. A mom with her two kids at a table nearby.
And a dark-haired man by himself in a booth by the window, staring at
me.
I recognize him right away. Ben Owens. Smug podcaster. He lifts one hand. Heโs waving at me.
I almost laugh.
And then, I imagine getting back in my car and ramming it into the side of the diner. Straight through the window. Benโs body sprawled out on my hood.
โHitting him with your car is bo-ring,โ the voice whispers in my ear. โPut your hands around his neck until you can feel the life drain out of him. Thatโd be fun, right? He probably deserves it. They always deserve it. Letโs killโโ
Shut up, I tell the voice calmly.
It canโt be a good sign that Iโve started talking back to it again.
Ben doesnโt move, but he tilts his head slightly, an expectant look on his face. Itโs an invitation, maybe.
I imagine that heโll just get up and walk over to me if I decline the invitation.
I slide off my stool and walk across the diner.
โSuch a lovely throat you have there, sir,โ the voice says. โIt would be a shame if something happened to it.โ
He smiles, flashing his perfect, white teeth. Braces and regular whitening. Those teeth did not happen by accident.
I suspect that nothing about Ben Owens is an accident. He extends his hand. โHi. Ben Owens.โ
I ignore the hand. โI know who you are.โ
He gestures to the seat across from him. Thereโs a half-eaten sandwich on the table next to a laptop, which he closes and pushes aside. He also flips over a small notebook so I canโt see what was written there.
โPlease, sit.โ
Iโm still standing next to his booth like an idiot, and I guess I didnโt come over just to say hi.
I slide into the seat. He drops his pen on the floor and has to get out of his seat to retrieve it. Heโs flustered.
I imagined him a lot smoother. Confident. Working a room.
He settles back into his booth. His dark eyes meet mine briefly, and then his gaze is anywhere but at me. I donโt know whether heโs nervous or embarrassed or just really high-strung.
โIโm speaking to you off the record right now,โ I say. โI donโt want to have a conversation if any of this is going in the podcast.โ
โDo you have something you want to tell me?โ He plays with the edges of the notebook paper, like heโs itching to turn it over and write something down. His fingers are long, the nails neatly trimmed, and I quickly look away.
โNo, nothing in particular. I just wanted to make it clear that this isnโt me consenting to an interview.โ
โOkay. Off the record.โ โOkay.โ
โI heard you were in town. Howโs your mom?โ
โSheโs fine, thanks. I heard you were in town too. Why?โ โBecause youโre here.โ
I cock an eyebrow. At least heโs honest.
โThought I might change my mind about an interview once I saw your charming face in person?โ
The edges of his lips twitch. โMaybe.โ
โYouโve already gotten some good ones.โ โYouโve been listening?โ
โYes.โ
โWhat do you think?โ โRiveting.โ
โThank you.โ He apparently didnโt noticeโor chose to ignoreโmy sarcasm.
I slouch down in my seat, propping up the soles of my shoes on the booth next to him. โSo whatโs the verdict? Did I do it?โ
He rubs the edges of the notebook paper more determinedly, giving me an amused look. โIโve heard youโre direct.โ
โItโs one of my many charms.โ
โIโm collecting evidence and presenting it, not making judgments.โ โBullshit, you totally weigh in with your opinions eventually. Iโve
listened to the first season.โ
โThank you for that. And eventually, yes, Iโll bring my own opinion into it, but not right now.โ He leans forward, both arms on the table. โLet me
interview you. No one ever gets your side of things.โ
โMy side of things is just going to be a fucking disappointment to you, Ben. I still donโt remember anything.โ
โNot that. I mean, yes, if you suddenly remember what happened that night, by all means, call me right awayโโ
โYouโll be my first call for sure,โ I say dryly.
โโbut you can give your side of things on so many other issues. Your relationship with Savannah, Matt, what happened at the weddingโฆโ
โI am not putting my relationship with Savvy out there for everyone to judge again. I hated doing it the first time and Iโm not doing it a second time.โ
I glance over at the counter. The teenager has disappeared. โI enjoyed your books,โ Ben says.
My gaze snaps back to his face. โWhat?โ โYour books. The Eva Knightley books.โ
I drop my feet from the booth and straighten. He looks smug again.
โHow did you even?โ A pit begins to form at the bottom of my stomach.
โLetโs kill, letโs kill, letโs killโโ
โMy PI is very good.โ Smug, smug, smug.
โListen, those booksโฆโ I clasp my hands together, cracking my knuckles. โI canโt write under my own name. I mean, no one wants to read romance novels from the girl who allegedly bashed her best friendโs head in.โ
He looks startled by that.
โAnd Iโve managed to keep that name a secret so far, and I would really appreciate it if youโโ
โRelax, Lucy, Iโm not going to tell anyone.โ He smiles. Smugly. I hesitate. โIf I give you an interview?โ
โWhat? No. Jesus, Lucy, Iโm notย blackmailingย you. I really did like the books.โ
โYou read romance novels?โ
โWell, no, these were my first, but maybe I should read more, because they were very exciting. I liked the one with the couple that pretended to be married best.โ
โWhy?โ
โApparently I enjoy a good fake-marriage trope. This is something Iโve just discovered about myself recently.โ
I barely resist the urge to laugh, but my lips twitch. Fuck. โNo, why did you read my books?โ
โI was interested. And I did consider putting it on the podcast, honestly. Read some passages. But I canโt really see how itโs relevant. Paigeโmy assistantโsaid that putting it on there would just be a dick move, and I have to agree.โ
โI like your assistant.โ โSheโs smarter than me.โ
โMaโam?โ The teenage boy at the counter has reappeared, and heโs talking to me, holding a large plastic bag full of takeout containers. I know that everyone calls womenย maโamย here, no matter their age, but it still makes my eye twitch. Iโve been in Los Angeles too long.
I start to slide out of the booth.
โJust one question.โ Ben reaches forward like heโs going to touch me.
He doesnโt. He presses both palms flat to the table. โOff the record.โ โYou can ask, but I may not answer.โ
โHow well did you know Colin Dunn?โ I sigh. Colin Fucking Dunn.
โYou think Savvyโs boyfriend did it. How original. Why didnโt anyone else think of that?โ I deadpan.
Literally everyone has thought of that. Itโs always the boyfriend or the husband.
Except, in this case, it wasnโt.
โHow well did you know him?โ he asks again.
โNot well.โ Colinโs face flashes through my mindโhe had a great face.
A strong jaw, and a slightly crooked smile. Savvy loved his smile.
โYou really think Colin went straight home that night? Whyโd you guys leave him and Matt at the wedding?โ
I slide out of the booth. โThis is more than one question, Ben.โ โI never was a rule follower.โ
God, heโs the worst.
He grabs my hand and presses a card into it. โCall me if you want to talk about Colin after tomorrowโs episode.โ