Georgia
โOh my God,โ I whispered, the last page fluttering to the floor between my feet. My breath came in a stuttered gasp as a pair of tears splattered on the paper.
Gran wasnโt Scarlettโฆshe was Constance.
There was a roaring in my ears, as though the cogs in my mind were spinning at quadruple time, trying to process it all, to make sense of what sheโd written.
All these years, and sheโd never said a word. Not one. Sheโd taken her secret to her grave, carried it alone. Or had Grandpa Brian known?
I picked up the fallen page, filed it at the end of the chapter, then shuffled it back into the envelope. Why didnโt she tell me? Why now, when I couldnโt ask?
The seal broke easily on the third envelope, and I nearly ripped the papers in my haste to read them.
My dearest Georgia,
Do you hate me? I wouldnโt blame you. There were certainly days where I hated myself, where I signed her name and felt every inch the fraud I was. But this letter isnโt for me; itโs for you. So allow me to answer the obvious questions.
As we flew over the North Atlantic, William fell asleep, zipped in and warm with Vernon. Thatโs when the reality of what Iโd done hit hard. There were so many ways it could go wrong, and yet I couldnโt come
clean, not with William in the balance. It would only be a matter of time before the truth was revealed and I was forced back to England. All I needed was enough time to meet Jamesonโs familyโto know for certain that William would be in good hands. I had to play the part.
I took paper and pen from the handbag, then bid farewell to Constance, knowing that posting this letter would only serve to help convince my family that William was out of reach.
Two days after we arrived in the States, I posted that letter and stumbled upon a British paper in the lobby of our hotel. It listed the recent casualties from the June air raids. My heart stopped the moment I read CONSTANCEย WADSWORTHย listed among the dead. Thatโs when I remembered that it was my handbag the ambulance drivers had taken with my sister.
Heaven help me, thatโs when I realized I could stay with William, not just until he was settled but forever. To my mother, father, and Henry, Constance was dead. No one had challenged it. I was free, but only as Scarlett. My temporary lie became my life.
Vernon took me to immigration, where I was given a new identification cardโthis time with my picture. My face was still swollen from the bombing, my nose bandaged until the moment the photographer flashed
his camera. The other identifying featuresโthe scar and our beauty marksโmatched perfectly, as they always had.
Jamesonโs family was so warm, so welcoming, even in the face of their unbearable grief. I watched the light slowly die in his motherโs eyes as the months, then the years passed and no news came from the front about Jamesonโs disappearance. I didnโt have to feign griefโmy sorrow was all too real for the loss of Jameson and Edward, but mostly my sister.
From the moment I was born, sheโd been at my side. Weโd been educated together, sworn to see the war through together, and yet there I was, raising her son in a foreign country that was now my own, practicing her signature over and over, then burning the pages so no one would be suspicious.
The first real challenge came the day Beatrice asked when I planned to begin writing again. Oh, I looked like my sister and even sounded like her. I knew the most intimate details of her life, but writingโฆthat had never been my talent. Perhaps I should have told them, then, but the fear of being separated from William was more than I could bear. So, I pretended to write when no one was looking. I retyped The Diplomatโs Daughter page by page,
fixing grammatical errors and tweaking a few passages so I could honestly say Iโd writtenย somethingย in it. I realized that lies were easier when they were based on truth, so I injected truth at every possible turn.
I didnโt submit The Diplomatโs Daughter for publication. Beatrice did the year the war ended. The year we finished the gazebo at the bend in the creek where Jameson asked Scarlett to wait for him. That was the year Beatrice accepted what Iโd already known. Jameson wasnโt coming home. I helped build a gazebo for a future that only existed in my imagination, a future where love and tragedy didnโt walk hand in hand.
The problem with signing that first book deal was the request for the second, the third, the fourth. I went through the hatbox, used her partial chapters, her plot notes, and when my own heart failed, I simply imagined she was beside me, hiding in our parentsโ house, walking the long roads, sitting at that kitchen table, telling me what happened next. In that way, she lived in every book I typed, then the ones I wrote as the hatbox emptied.
I had the house built big enough for Jamesonโs family, and we moved.
Then Brian came along. Oh, Georgia, I fell for his
warm eyes and soft smile that very first year he rented the cottage. It wasnโt the same as Iโd felt for Edwardโthat had been a once-in-a-lifetime loveโ but it was steady, warm, and as gentle as the spring thaw. After Henryโฆwell, I needed gentle.
Beatrice saw. She knew.
William saw it, too. He never voiced his disapproval. Never made me feel guilty. But the year he turned sixteen, he found Brian and me dancing in the gazebo. The phonograph disappeared the next day. He had his fatherโs smile and his passion for life and his motherโs eyes and steel will. He was the best thing Iโd ever done with my life, and the day he married Hannahโthe love of his lifeโhe told me it was time to marry mine.
I told him the love of my life had been taken by the warโthat was the truth.
He told me Jameson would want me to be happyโ that was true, too.
Every year Brian asked. Every year I said no.
Georgia, there exists within me a gray, shadowy place where I am both the girl I wasโฆand the woman I became that day, both Constance and Scarlett. And in that gray place, I was still married to Henry Wadsworthโthough he had remarried and moved his new family onto the land Iโd ruined myself to protect.
The land where heโd buried my sister in his one and only romantic gesture. And perhaps the girl who had been so egregiously abused took a perverse pleasure that she could bring his life toppling down by simply admitting that she was alive.
The woman I was refused to allow the shadow to dim Brianโs lightโrefused to bring him into a marriage that would ultimately be as fraudulent as I wasโbut I could never tell him the truthโthat would have made him complicit in my crimes. He stopped asking in 1968.
The day I read that Henry Wadsworth had died of a massive stroke, I raced to the veterinary clinic where Brian worked and begged him to ask me again. Only after William had given his blessing did I tell the lawyers to start the paperwork for Jameson.
I married Brian seventeen years after we met, and the decade we were married was the happiest of my life. I found my happily-ever-after. Never doubt that. William and Hannah had tried so long for a child, and Ava was the apple of their eyeโand mine. I wish you had known her before the accident, Georgia. Tragedy has a way of breaking gentle things and soldering the shattered pieces together in ways we canโt control. Some, it remakes into stronger, more resilient creatures. In others, the pieces fuse before
they heal, leaving only razor-sharp edges. I can offer you no other explanation or excuse for the way sheโs cut you over the years.
You, my sweet girl, were the light of my very long life.
You were my reason to slow down, to live with more intention, less fear.
You, Georgia, who remind me so very much of my sister.
You have her indomitable will, her strong heart, her fierce spirit, and her eyesโmy eyes.
I pray that this package finds you happy and madly in love with the man youโve deemed worthy of your heart. I also hope youโve realized by now that man isnโt Damianโnot unless heโs had an epiphany between what is now your sixth year of marriage, and when you open this on your seventh anniversary. And yes, I get to say that because Iโm dead. When I was alive, you were determined, and heaven help the soul who tries to change your stubborn little mind. Some lessons we simply have to learn for ourselves.
So why tell you, now that Iโm gone? Why lay this truth at your feet when I trusted no one else? Because you, more than any other Stanton, need to know that it is love that brought you here. Iโve never seen another love like Scarlett and Jamesonโs. It was one
of those fated lightning strikes, miraculous to see up close, to feel the energy between the two when they were in the same room. That is the love that lives in your veins.
Iโve never seen another love like I had for Edward
โwe were twin flames.
But Iโve also never seen another love like I had for Brianโdeep and calm and true.
Or another love like Williamโs for Hannahโ achingly sweet.
But I have seen the same love that I had for William the day I stepped onto that plane. It lives in you. You are the culmination of every lightning strike and twist of fate.
Do not settle for the love that hones your edges and turns you brittle and cold, Georgia. Not when there are so many other kinds of love waiting for you. And donโt wait like I did, wasting seventeen years because Iโd left one bitter foot in my past.
Weโre all entitled to our mistakes. When you recognize them for what they are, donโt live there. Life is too short to miss the lightning strike and too long to live it alone. This is where my story ends. Iโll be watching over you to see where yours leads.
All my love,
Gran
Tears dripped down my face as I finished the last page, and they werenโt the pretty, silent ones. Oh no, I was a snotty mess.
Sheโd lived seventy-eight years of her life as Scarlett, never being called by her own name. Never letting someone else help carry the burden of what sheโd done. Sheโd borne the deaths of Edward, Jameson, Scarlett, Brianโฆ then William and Hannah, yet hadnโt hardened under the grief.
I left the letter on the steps, then clutched my phone and stumbled to the office. Snatching the framed picture of Scarlett and Jameson from the desk, I hit my knees in front of the bookshelf cabinets and dug through the contents to find the same albums Iโd shown to Noah months ago.
William. William. William. The first picture of Gran had been taken in 1950, long enough after the Ipswich bombing that no one would question any physical differences. She hadnโt just shied away from the camera lens, sheโd studiously avoided it.
I studied both pictures, needing to see it for myself.
Scarlettโs chin was slightly sharper, Constanceโs lower lip a bit fuller. Same nose. Same eyes. Same beauty mark. But they were not the same woman.
People see what they want to see. How many times had she said that to me over the years? Everyone had simply accepted that Constance was Scarlett because theyโd never had reason to question it. Why would they when she had William?
The gardening. The tiny style differences Noah had spotted. The bakingโฆit all made sense.
I flipped through the album until I found her wedding picture to Grandpa Brian. There was real, true love shining in her eyes. Noahโs ending had been truer to life than he could have knownโฆbut it wasnโt Scarlettโs ending, it was Constanceโs.
Scarlett had died on a ruined street nearly eighty years ago. Jameson couldnโt have been far off. They hadnโt been apart for long. Theyโd been
together all this time.
I sucked in a shaky breath and wiped my tears on my sleeve as I fumbled with my cell phone.
If Gran had lived a lie to give me this life, then I owed it to her to live it. The message Iโd sent to Noah still hadnโt been read, but I called him anyway. Four rings. Voicemail. The guy didnโt even have a personalized message, and I wasnโt about to pour my heart out on a voicemail anyway.
Besides, with the reviews out, it was no wonder he wasnโt answering.
I gasped. Reviews were out. Stumbling to my feet, I slid into the chair at my desk, then clicked through my emails until I found Adamโs number.
โAdam Feinhold,โ he answered.
โAdam, itโs Georgia,โ I blurted. โStanton, I mean.โ
โI figured it wasnโt the state calling,โ he drawled dryly. โWhat can I do for you, Ms. Stanton? Itโs a bitโฆheavy around here today.โ
โYeah, I deserve that,โ I admitted, cringing like he could see me. โLook, I tried Noah firstโโ
โI have no clue where he is. He left me a message that he was off on some research trip and heโd be back in time for any release promo we need.โ
I blinked. โNoahโsโฆgone?โ
โNot gone. Researching. Donโt stress, he does it every book but yours, since you know, the research had already been done.โ
โOh.โ My heart sank. So much for seizing the lightning bolt.
โYou know the guy is pretty much dying over you, right?โ Adam said softly. โAnd I say that as his best friend, not his editor. Heโs miserable. Or at least heย wasย miserable. This morning he just sounded pissed, but that was after the reviews came out. Christopher is even more pissed, which as editorial director is absolutely possible, trust me.โ
I was twenty-four hours too late to tell him Iโd been wrong. Really wrong. But maybe I could show him. At least I could try. โDid Noah really edit both versions?โ
โYep. Copy edits and all. Told you, heโs a mess over you.โ
โGood.โ I smiled, too happy to clarify that statement. โGood?โ
โYep. Good. Now go get Christopher.โ