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Chapter no 39 – Josh

The Friend Zone

We stood on her porch, and she looked up at me with those brown eyes. โ€œYou want to marry meย now?ย Today?โ€

The tower was gone. The drawbridge, the piranhas, the machine gunsโ€”ย gone. She was happy and open wide and her love was in everything. Itย pouredย out of her. It was in the way she looked at me. The tone of her voice. It was in her hand on my chest and her kiss, the smile that reached her eyes and the set of her mouth.

All these weeks Iโ€™d planned and prayed for this outcome. I didnโ€™t even know what Iโ€™d do if I failed. It was something Iโ€™d refused to let myself think about.

But Iย hadnโ€™tย failed.

And now, seeing her love me like this was a relief for my soul. I had all of her for the first time. She was mine. She wasย finallyย mine.

But it wasnโ€™t time to celebrate yet.

Iโ€™d thought long and hard about this over the last few weeks. We still didnโ€™t know if she had some underlying health issues, and Iโ€™d bet my life that if she did, sheโ€™d leave me again to spare me having to take care of her.

Kristen believed in marriage. She believed in better and worse and sickness and health, and if she made that commitment to me, I knew sheโ€™d honor it. Even ifย sheย was the one who was sick.

I needed to seal this deal before she changed her mind. Iโ€™d seen time and time again how quickly I could lose her, and I had no intention of letting

that happen by putting more time between us while we planned a wedding. Not while she was one bad doctorโ€™s visit from bailing on me.

โ€œHear me out,โ€ I said. โ€œThe fact that Iโ€™m crazy in love with you doesnโ€™t play into this. I promise. I know how much youโ€™d hate it if I wanted to marry you in any sort of romantic sense, right?โ€

She laughed.ย God, I missed her.

โ€œYouโ€™re about to have a major surgery, and your insurance isnโ€™t as good as mine. You could see any doctor you want. Youโ€™d have access to any specialist you want to see, without a referral. I donโ€™t want to end up like Sloan and Brandon. I donโ€™t want to die not being married to the woman I love. And I want us to be able to make medical decisions for each other in the event that something happens to us.โ€

She bit her lip. โ€œThe thought of my mom having total say does scare me a little bit, actually.โ€

I grinned. I knew it would. โ€œAlso, the tax benefits for married couples are pretty generous.โ€

โ€œThat is true.โ€ She smiled at me, her beautiful face light and open. โ€œI have to say you make a pretty good argument. Do you need citizenship? Or maybe you need me to help you move a body and you donโ€™t want me to be able to testify? Because if you did, I think that would clinch the deal.โ€

I pulled her closer. โ€œMarry me. Now. Today. Letโ€™s go down to city hall and just do it.โ€

Say yes. Please, say yes.

She shrugged. โ€œOkay.โ€

My heart exploded in my chest. โ€œYes?โ€

She bit her lip and smiled. โ€œYeah, I canโ€™t really argue with the pros list.โ€ Her brow wrinkled. โ€œBut what about your family? They wonโ€™t be mad youโ€™ve run off and married some random woman?โ€

Fuck my familyโ€”and I meant that in the most loving possible wayโ€”but my family was theย lastย thing I was thinking about at the moment. I wouldnโ€™t be able to relax until Kristen was my wife. None of this was real or certain until we were married.

This first, family and taking deep breaths later.

I shook my head. โ€œMy parents already married off six daughters. Theyโ€™re relieved they donโ€™t have to do another wedding. I already told them what I planned to do. We can go home for a party whenever weโ€™re ready.โ€

โ€œOh!โ€ She bounced up and down. โ€œCan we get our wedding rings at the

Pulp Fictionย pawnshop?โ€

I smiled, a cautious excitement seeping in. โ€œAnything you want.โ€ I checked my watch. โ€œIf we want to do this today, we have to get going. You can probably take a few minutes to change.โ€

โ€œOkay, and Iโ€™ll call Sloan,โ€ she said, reaching for her phone.

My stomach dropped. I knew this was coming, and my heart ached preemptively with what I had to tell her. I put a hand to her wrist. โ€œKristen,โ€ I said gently. โ€œSloan knows that I was going to propose to you. She doesnโ€™t want to be there.โ€

Her happiness bled out in front of me, and my own joy at the situation sank. I hated to see her hurting. I wished I could give her all the things she wanted today. But Sloan wasnโ€™t for sale.

I looked at her softly. โ€œSheโ€™s supportive. She was rooting for me. She asked me to text her with your answer. But she canโ€™t go to a wedding.โ€

She swallowed hard and nodded, her brown eyes glossing just enough to make my heart break. โ€œNo. She wouldnโ€™t be able to handle it. Of course.โ€ She smiled up at me, weakly this time, trying to put on a good face. I loved her for it. But I knew how deeply this hurt her. It hurt me too.

We finally had each other, but both of us had lost our best friends.

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