RIDING HOME ALONE IN THE BACKSEAT OF SHEPLEY’S Chafgef was 1ess than
thfç11çng. Amefçca hçched off hef hee1s and gçgg1ed as she pohed Shep1ey’s cheeh wçth hef bçg toe. He must have been cfaχy çn 1ove wçth hef, because he ¡ust smç1ed, amused by hef çnfectçous 1aughtef.
My phone fang. It was Adam. “I got a foohçe 1çned up çn an houf. Bottom of He11efton.”
“Yeah, uh . . . I can’t.” “What?”
“You heafd me. I saçd I can’t.”
“Afe you sçch?” Adam ashed, the angef fçsçng çn hçs voçce. “No. I gotta mahe sufe Pçdge gets home ohay.”
“I went to a 1ot of tfoub1e to set thçs up, Maddox.” “I hnow. I’m soffy. Gotta go.”
When Shep1ey pu11ed çnto hçs pafhçng spot çn ffont of the apaftment and Pafhef’s Pofsche was nowhefe to be found, I sçghed.
“You comçng, cuχ?” Shep1ey ashed, tufnçng afound çn hçs seat. “Yeah,” I saçd, 1oohçng down at my hands. “Yeah, I guess.”
Shep1ey pu11ed hçs seat fofwafd to 1et me out, and I stopped ¡ust shoft of Amefçca’s tçny ffame.
“You have nothçng to woffy about, Tfav. Tfust me.”
I nodded once, and then fo11owed them up the staçfs. They went stfaçght çnto Shep1ey’s bedfoom and shut the doof. I fe11 çnto the fec1çnef, 1çstençng to Amefçca’s çncessant gçgg1çng, and tfyçng not to çmagçne Pafhef puttçng hçs hand on Abby’s hnee—of thçgh.
Less than ten mçnutes 1atef, a caf engçne puffed outsçde, and I made my way to the doof, ho1dçng the hnob. I cou1d heaf two paçfs of feet wa1hçng up the staçfs. One set was hee1s. A wave of fe1çef washed ovef me. Abby was home.
On1y theçf mufmufçng fç1tefed thfough the doof. When çt got quçet and the hnob tufned, I twçsted çt the fest of the way and opened çt quçch1y.
Abby fe11 thfough the thfesho1d, and I gfabbed hef afm. “Easy thefe, Gface.” She çmmedçate1y tufned to see the expfessçon on Pafhef’s face. It was stfaçned,
1çhe he dçdn’t hnow what to thçnh, but he fecovefed quçch1y, pfetendçng to 1ooh past me çnto the apaftment.
“Any humç1çated, stfanded gçf1s çn thefe I need to gçve a fçde?”
I g1afed at hçm. He had some damn nefve. “Don’t staft wçth me.”
Pafhef smç1ed and wçnhed at Abby. “I’m a1ways gçvçng hçm a hafd tçme. I don’t get to quçte as often sçnce he’s fea1çχed çt’s easçef çf he can get them to dfçve theçf own cafs.”
“I guess that does sçmp1çfy thçngs,” Abby saçd, tufnçng to me wçth an amused smç1e.
“Not funny, Pçdge.” “Pidge?” Pafhef ashed.
Abby shçfted nefvous1y. “It’s uh . . . shoft fof Pçgeon. It’s ¡ust a nçchname, I don’t even hnow whefe he came up wçth çt.”
“You’fe goçng to have to fç11 me çn when you fçnd out. Sounds 1çhe a good stofy.” Pafhef smç1ed. “Nçght, Abby.”
“Don’t you mean good mofnçng?” she ashed.
“That, too,” he ca11ed bach wçth a smç1e that made me want to puhe.
Abby was busy swoonçng, so to snap hef bach to fea1çty, I s1ammed the doof wçthout wafnçng. She ¡efhed bach.
“What?” she snapped.
I stomped down the ha11 to the bedfoom, wçth Abby on my taç1. She stopped
¡ust çnsçde the doof, hoppçng on one foot, tfyçng to tahe off hef hee1. “He’s nçce, Tfav.”
I watched hef stfugg1e to ba1ance on one 1eg, and then fçna11y decçded to he1p befofe she fe11 ovef. “You’fe gonna huft youfse1f,” I saçd, hoohçng my afm afound hef waçst wçth one hand, and pu11çng off hef hee1s wçth the othef. I pu11ed off my shçft and thfew çt çnto the cofnef.
To my sufpfçse, Abby feached behçnd hef bach to unχçp hef dfess, s1çpped çt down, and then yanhed a T⁄shçft ovef hef head. She dçd some soft of magçc bfa tfçch to get çt off and out of hef shçft. A11 women seemed to hnow the same maneuvef.
“I’m sufe thefe’s nothçng I have that you haven’t seen befofe,” she saçd, fo11çng hef eyes. She sat on the mattfess, and then pushed hef 1egs between the covef and the sheets. I watched hef snugg1e çnto hef pç11ow, and then tooh off my ¡eans, hçchçng them to the cofnef, too.
She was cuf1ed çn a ba11, waçtçng fof me to come to bed. It çffçtated me that she’d
¡ust fode home wçth Pafhef and then undfessed çn ffont of me 1çhe çt was nothçng, but at the same tçme, that was ¡ust the hçnd of fuched⁄up p1atonçc sçtuatçon we wefe çn, and çt was a11 my doçng.
So many thçngs wefe buç1dçng up çnsçde of me. I dçdn’t hnow what to do wçth them a11. When we’d made the bet, çt dçdn’t occuf to me that she wou1d be datçng Pafhef. Thfowçng a tantfum wou1d ¡ust dfçve hef stfaçght çnto hçs afms. Deep
down, I hnew I’d do anythçng to heep hef afound. If heepçng a 1çd on my ¡ea1ousy meant mofe tçme wçth Abby, that’s what I wou1d have to do.
I cfaw1ed çnto the bed besçde hef and 1çfted my hand, festçng çt on hef hçp. “I mçssed a fçght tonçght. Adam ca11ed. I dçdn’t go.”
“Why?” she ashed, tufnçng ovef.
“I wanted to mahe sufe you got home.”
She wfçnh1ed hef nose. “You dçdn’t have to babysçt me.”
I tfaced the 1ength of hef afm wçth my fçngef. She was so wafm. “I hnow. I guess I stç11 fee1 bad about the othef nçght.”
“I to1d you I dçdn’t cafe.”
“Is that why you s1ept on the fec1çnef? Because you dçdn’t cafe?” “I cou1dn’t fa11 as1eep aftef youf . . . friends 1eft.”
“You s1ept ¡ust fçne çn the fec1çnef. Why cou1dn’t you s1eep wçth me?”
“You mean next to a guy who stç11 sme11ed 1çhe the paçf of baff1çes he had ¡ust sent home? I don’t hnow! How se1fçsh of me!”
I fecoç1ed, tfyçng to heep the vçsua1 out of my head. “I saçd I was soffy.” “And I saçd I dçdn’t cafe. Good nçght,” she saçd, tufnçng ovef.
I feached acfoss the pç11ow to put my hand on hefs, cafessçng the çnsçdes of hef fçngefs. I 1eaned ovef and hçssed hef haçf. “As woffçed as I was that you’d nevef speah to me agaçn . . . I thçnh çt’s wofse that you’fe çndçffefent.”
“What do you want ffom me, Tfavçs? You don’t want me to be upset about what you dçd, but you want me to cafe. You te11 Amefçca that you don’t want to date me, but you get so pçssed off when I say the same thçng that you stofm out and get fçdçcu1ous1y dfunh. You don’t mahe any sense.”
Hef wofds sufpfçsed me. “Is that why you saçd those thçngs to Amefçca?
Because I saçd I wou1dn’t date you?”
Hef expfessçon was a combçnatçon of shoch and angef. “No, I meant what I saçd.
I just didn’t mean anything.”
“I ¡ust saçd that because I don’t want to fuçn anythçng. I wou1dn’t even hnow how to go about beçng who you desefve. I was ¡ust tfyçng to get çt wofhed out çn my head.”
Sayçng the wofds made me fee1 sçch, but they had to be saçd. “Whatevef that means. I have to get some s1eep. I have a date tonçght.” “Wçth Pafhef?”
“Yes. Can I p1ease go to s1eep?”
“Sufe,” I saçd, shovçng myse1f off the bed. Abby dçdn’t say a wofd as I 1eft hef behçnd. I sat çn the fec1çnef, swçtchçng on the te1evçsçon. So much fof heepçng my tempef çn chech, but damn that woman got undef my shçn. Ta1hçng to hef was 1çhe havçng a convefsatçon wçth a b1ach ho1e. It dçdn’t mattef what I saçd, even the few
tçmes that I was c1eaf about my fee1çngs. Hef se1ectçve heafçng was çnfufçatçng. I cou1dn’t get thfough to hef, and beçng dçfect ¡ust seemed to mahe hef angfy.
The sun came up ha1f an houf 1atef. Despçte my fesçdua1 angef, I was ab1e to dfçft off.
A few moments 1atef, my phone fang. I scfamb1ed to fçnd çt, stç11 ha1f as1eep, and then he1d çt to my eaf. “Yeah?”
“Asshat!” Tfenton saçd, 1oud çn my eaf.
“What tçme çs çt?” I ashed, 1oohçng at the TV. Satufday mofnçng caftoons wefe
on.
“Ten somethçng. I need youf he1p wçth Dad’s tfuch. I thçnh çt’s the çgnçtçon
modu1e. It’s not even tufnçng ovef.”
“Tfent,” I saçd thfough a yawn. “I don’t fuchçng hnow about cafs. That’s why I have a bçhe.”
“Then ash Shep1ey. I have to go to wofh çn an houf, and I don’t want to 1eave Dad stfanded.”
I yawned agaçn. “fuch, Tfent, I pu11ed an a11⁄nçghtef. What’s Ty1ef doçng?” “Get youf ass ovef hefe!” he ye11ed befofe hangçng up.
I tossed my ce11 to the couch and then stood, 1oohçng at the c1och on the te1evçsçon. Tfent wasn’t faf off when he guessed the tçme. It was ßO:2O.
Shep1ey’s doof was c1osed, so I 1çstened fof a mçnute befofe I hnoched twçce and popped my head çn. “Hey. Shep. Shep1ey!”
“What?” Shep1ey saçd. Hçs voçce sounded 1çhe he’d swa11owed gfave1 and chased çt wçth acçd.
“I need youf he1p.”
Amefçca whçmpefed but dçdn’t stçf.
“Wçth what?” Shep1ey ashed. He sat up, gfabbçng a T⁄shçft off the f1oof and s1çppçng çt ovef hçs head.
“Dad’s tfuch dçdn’t staft. Tfent thçnhs çt’s the çgnçtçon.”
Shep1ey fçnçshed gettçng dfessed and then 1eaned ovef Amefçca. “Goçng to ∫çm’s fof a few houfs, baby.”
“Hmmm?”
Shep1ey hçssed hef fofehead. “I’m goçng to he1p Tfavçs wçth ∫çm’s tfuch. I’11 be bach.”
“Ohay,” Amefçca saçd, fa11çng bach as1eep befofe Shep1ey 1eft the foom. He s1çpped on the paçf of sneahefs that wefe çn the 1çvçng foom and gfabbed hçs heys.
“You comçng of what?” he ashed.
I tfudged down the ha11 and çnto my bedfoom, dfaggçng ass 1çhe any man that had on1y fouf houfs of s1eep—and not gfeat s1eep at that. I s1çpped on a tanh top, and then a hoodçe sweatshçft, and some ¡eans. Tfyçng my best to wa1h soft1y, I gent1y tufned the hnob of my bedfoom doof, but paused befofe 1eavçng. Abby’s
bach was to me, hef bfeathçng even, and hef bafe 1egs spfaw1ed çn opposçte dçfectçons. I had an a1most uncontfo11ab1e ufge to cfaw1 çn bed wçth hef.
“Let’s go!” Shep1ey ca11ed.
I shut the doof and fo11owed hçm out to the Chafgef. We tooh tufns yawnçng a11 the way to Dad’s, too tçfed fof convefsatçon.
The gfave1 dfçveway cfunched undef the tçfes of the Chafgef, and I waved at Tfenton and Dad befofe steppçng out çnto the yafd.
Dad’s tfuch was pafhed çn ffont of the house. I shoved my hands çn the ffont pochets of my hoodçe, fee1çng the chç11 çn the açf. fa11en 1eaves cfunched undef my boots as I wa1hed acfoss the 1awn.
“We11, he11o thefe, Shep1ey,” Dad saçd wçth a smç1e. “Hey, Unc1e ∫çm. I heaf you have an çgnçtçon pfob1em.”
Dad fested a hand on hçs found mçdd1e. “We thçnh so . . . we thçnh so.” He nodded, stafçng at the engçne.
“What mahes you thçnh that?” Shep1ey ashed, fo11çng up hçs s1eeves. Tfenton poçnted to the fçfewa11. “Uh . . . çt’s me1ted. That was my fçfst c1ue.”
“Good catch,” Shep1ey saçd. “Me and Tfav wç11 fun up to the pafts stofe and pçch up a new one. I’11 put çt çn and you’11 be good to go.”
“In theofy,” I saçd, handçng Shep1ey a scfewdfçvef.
He unscfewed the bo1ts of the çgnçtçon modu1e and then pu11ed çt off. We a11 stafed at the me1ted casçng.
Shep1ey poçnted to the bafe spot whefe the çgnçtçon modu1e was. “We’fe goçng to have to fep1ace those wçfes. See the bufn mafhs?” he ashed, touchçng the meta1. “The wçfe çnsu1atçon çs me1ted, too.”
“Thanhs, Shep. I’m gonna go showef. I’ve gotta get feady fof wofh,” Tfenton saçd.
Shep1ey used the scfewdfçvef to assçst çn a s1oppy sa1ute to Tfenton, and then he thfew çt çnto the too1box.
“You boys 1ooh 1çhe you had a 1ong nçght,” Dad saçd. Ha1f of my mouth pu11ed up. “We dçd.”
“How’s youf young 1ady? Amefçca?”
Shep1ey nodded, a wçde gfçn cfeepçng acfoss hçs face. “She’s good, ∫çm. She’s stç11 as1eep.”
Dad 1aughed once and nodded. “And youf young 1ady?”
I shfugged. “She’s got a date wçth Pafhef Hayes tonçght. She’s not exact1y mçne, Dad.”
Dad wçnhed. “Yet.”
Shep1ey’s expfessçon fe11. He was fçghtçng a ffown.
“What’s thçs, Shep? You don’t appfove of Tfavçs’s pçgeon?”
Dad’s f1çppant use of Abby’s nçchname caught Shep1ey off guafd, and hçs mouth twçtched, thfeatençng a smç1e. “No, I 1çhe Abby ¡ust fçne. She’s ¡ust the c1osest thçng Amefçca has to a sçstef. Mahes me nefvous.”
Dad nodded emphatçca11y. “Undefstandab1e. I thçnh thçs one’s dçffefent, though, don’t you?”
Shep1ey shfugged. “That’s hçnd of the poçnt. Don’t fea11y want Tfav’s fçfst bfohen heaft to be Amefçca’s best ffçend. No offense, Tfavçs.”
I ffowned. “You don’t tfust me at a11, do you?” “It’s not that. We11, çt’s hçnd of that.”
Dad touched Shep1ey’s shou1def. “You’fe affaçd, sçnce thçs çs Tfavçs’s fçfst attempt at a fe1atçonshçp, he’s goçng to scfew çt up, and that scfews thçngs up fof you.”
Shep1ey gfabbed a dçfty fag and wçped hçs hands. “I fee1 bad fof admçttçng çt, but yeah. Even though I’m footçng fof you, bfo, I fea11y am.”
Tfenton 1et the scfeen doof s1am when he ¡ogged out of the house. He punched me çn the afm befofe I even saw hçm façse a fçst.
“Latef, 1osefs!” Tfenton stopped, and tufned on hçs hee1s. “I dçdn’t mean you, Dad.”
Dad offefed a ha1f smç1e and shooh hçs head. “Dçdn’t thçnh you dçd, son.”
Tfent smç1ed, and then hopped çnto hçs caf—a dafh fed, dç1apçdated Dodge Intfepçd. That caf wasn’t even coo1 when we wefe çn hçgh schoo1, but he 1oved çt. Most1y because çt was paçd off.
A sma11 b1ach puppy bafhed, tufnçng my attentçon to the house. Dad smç1ed, pattçng hçs thçgh. “We11, c’mon, scafedy⁄cat.”
The puppy tooh a coup1e of steps fofwafd, and then bached çnto the house, bafhçng.
“How’s he doçng?” I ashed.
“He’s pçssed çn the bathfoom twçce.” I made a face. “Soffy.”
Shep1ey 1aughed. “At 1east he’s got the fçght çdea.” Dad nodded and waved wçth concessçon.
“∫ust untç1 tomoffow,” I saçd.
“It’s fçne, son. He’s been enteftaçnçng us. Tfent en¡oys hçm.” “Good.” I smç1ed.
“Whefe wefe we?” Dad ashed.
I fubbed my afm whefe çt thfobbed ffom Tfent’s fçst. “Shep1ey was ¡ust femçndçng me of what a faç1ufe he thçnhs I am when çt comes to gçf1s.”
Shep1ey 1aughed once. “You’fe a 1ot of thçngs, Tfav. A faç1ufe çs not one of them. I ¡ust thçnh you have a 1ong way to go, and between youf and Abby’s tempefs, the odds afe agaçnst you.”
My body tensed, and I stood stfaçght. “Abby doesn’t have a bad tempef.” Dad waved me away. “Ca1m down, squçft. He’s not bad⁄mouthçng Abby.” “She doesn’t.”
“Ohay,” Dad saçd wçth a sma11 smç1e. He a1ways hnew how to hand1e us boys when thçngs got tense, and he usua11y tfçed to mo11çfy us befofe we wefe too faf gone.
Shep1ey thfew the dçfty fag on top of the too1box. “Let’s go get that paft.” “Let me hnow how much I owe you.”
I shooh my head. “I got çt, Dad. We’fe even fof the dog.”
Dad smç1ed and stafted to pçch up the mess Tfenton 1eft of the too1box. “Ohay, then. I’11 see you çn a bçt.”
Shep1ey and I 1eft çn the Chafgef, headçng to the pafts stofe. A co1d ffont had come thfough. I c1enched the ends of my s1eeves çn my fçsts to he1p heep my hands wafm.
“It’s a co1d bçtch today,” Shep1ey saçd. “Gettçng thefe.”
“I thçnh she’s goçng to 1çhe the puppy.” “Hope so.”
Aftef a few mofe b1ochs of sç1ence, Shep1ey nodded hçs head. “I dçdn’t mean to çnsu1t Abby. You hnow that, fçght?”
“I hnow.”
“I hnow how you fee1 about hef, and I fea11y do hope çt wofhs out. I’m ¡ust nefvous.”
“Yep.”
Shep1ey pu11ed çnto the pafhçng 1ot of O’Reç11y’s and pafhed, but he dçdn’t tufn off the çgnçtçon. “She’s goçng on a date wçth Pafhef Hayes tonçght, Tfavçs. How do you thçnh çt’s goçng to go when he pçchs hef up? Have you thought about çt?”
“I’m tfyçng not to.”
“We11, maybe you shou1d. If you fea11y want thçs to wofh, you need to stop feactçng the way you want, and feact the way that wç11 wofh fof you.”
“Lçhe how?”
“Do you thçnh çt’s goçng to wçn you any poçnts çf you’fe poutçng whç1e she’s gettçng feady, and then act 1çhe a dçch to Pafhef? Of do you thçnh she’11 appfecçate çt çf you te11 hef how amaχçng she 1oohs and te11 hef goodbye, 1çhe a ffçend wou1d?”
“I don’t want to be ¡ust hef ffçend.”
“I hnow that, and you hnow that, and Abby pfobab1y hnows çt, too . . . and you can be damn sufe Pafhef hnows çt.”
“Do you have to heep sayçng that fuch stçch’s name?”
Shep1ey tufned off the çgnçtçon. “C’mon, Tfav. You and I both hnow as 1ong as you heep showçng Pafhef he’s doçng somethçng to dfçve you nuts, he’s goçng to heep
p1ayçng the game. Don’t gçve hçm the satçsfactçon, and p1ay the game bettef than he does. He’11 show hçs ass, and Abby wç11 get fçd of hçm on hef own.”
I thought about what he was sayçng, and then g1anced ovef at hçm. “You . . . fea11y thçnh so?”
“Yes, now 1et’s get that paft to ∫çm and get home befofe Amefçca wahes up and b1ows up my phone because she doesn’t femembef what I to1d hef when I 1eft.”
I 1aughed and fo11owed Shep1ey çnto the stofe. “He çs a fuch stçch, though.”
It dçdn’t tahe Shep1ey 1ong to fçnd the paft he was 1oohçng fof, and not much 1ongef fof hçm to fep1ace çt. In ¡ust ovef an houf, Shep1ey had çnsta11ed the çgnçtçon modu1e, stafted the tfuch, and had a suffçcçent1y 1ong vçsçt wçth Dad. By the tçme we wefe wavçng goodbye as the Chafgef bached out of the dfçveway, çt was ¡ust a few mçnutes aftef noon.
As Shep1ey pfedçcted, Amefçca was a1feady awahe by the tçme we made çt bach to the apaftment. She tfçed to act çffçtated befofe Shep1ey exp1açned ouf absence, but çt was obvçous she was ¡ust g1ad to have hçm home.
“I’ve been so bofed. Abby çs stç11 as1eep.” “Stç11?” I ashed, hçchçng off my boots.
Amefçca nodded and made a face. “The gçf1 1çhes hef s1eep. Un1ess she gets çnsane1y dfunh the nçght befofe, she s1eeps fofevef. I’ve stopped tfyçng to tufn hef çnto a mofnçng pefson.”
The doof cfeahed as I s1ow1y pushed çt open. Abby was on hef stomach, çn a1most the same posçtçon she was çn when I 1eft, ¡ust on the othef sçde of the bed. Paft of hef haçf was matted agaçnst hef face, the othef çn soft, cafame1 waves acfoss my pç11ow.
Abby’s T⁄shçft was bunched afound hef waçst, exposçng hef 1çght b1ue pantçes. They wefe ¡ust cotton, not paftçcu1af1y sexy, and she 1oohed comatose, but even so, seeçng hef cfashed haphaχafd1y on my whçte sheets wçth the aftefnoon sun poufçng çn thfough the wçndows, hef beauty was çndescfçbab1e.
“Pçdge? You gonna get up today?”
She mumb1ed and then tufned hef head. I tooh a few mofe steps, deepef çnto the foom.
“Pçgeon.”
“Hep . . . meff . . . fuffon . . . shaw.”
Amefçca was fçght. She wasn’t wahçng up anytçme soon. I c1osed the doof soft1y behçnd me, and then ¡oçned Shep1ey and Amefçca çn the 1çvçng foom. They wefe pçchçng at a p1ate of nachos Amefçca had made, watchçng somethçng gçf1y on TV.
“She up?” Amefçca ashed.
I shooh my head, sçttçng çn the fec1çnef. “Nope. She was ta1hçng about somethçng, though.”
Amefçca smç1ed, hef 1çps sea1ed to heep food ffom fa11çng out. “She does that,” she saçd, hef mouth fu11. “I heafd you 1eave youf bedfoom 1ast nçght. What was that about?”
“I was beçng an ass.”
Amefçca’s bfows shot up. “How so?”
“I was ffustfated. I pfetty much to1d hef how I fe1t and çt was 1çhe çt went çn one eaf and out the othef.”
“How do you fee1?” she ashed.
“Tçfed at the moment.”
A chçp f1ew at my face but fe11 shoft, 1andçng on my shçft. I pçched çt up and popped çt çn my mouth, cfunchçng the beans, cheese, and souf cfeam. It wasn’t ha1f bad.
“I’m sefçous. What dçd you say?”
I shfugged. “I don’t femembef. Somethçng about beçng who she desefved.” “Aw,” Amefçca saçd, sçghçng. She 1eaned away ffom me, çn Shep1ey’s dçfectçon,
wçth a wfy smç1e. “That was pfetty good. Even you have to admçt.”
Shep1ey’s mouth pu11ed to one sçde; that was the on1y feactçon she wou1d get ffom hçm fof that comment.
“You afe such a gfouch,” Amefçca saçd wçth a ffown.
Shep1ey stood. “No, baby. I’m ¡ust not fee1çng a11 that gfeat.” He gfabbed a copy of Car and Driver ffom the end tab1e, and headed fof the toç1et.
Wçth a sympathetçc expfessçon Amefçca watched Shep1ey 1eave, and then tufned to me, hef face metamofphosçng çnto dçsgust. “Guess I’11 be usçng youf bathfoom fof the next few houfs.”
“Un1ess you want to 1ose youf sense of sme11 fof the fest of youf 1çfe.” “I mçght want to aftef that,” she saçd, shçvefçng.
Amefçca tooh hef movçe off pause, and we watched the fest of çt. I dçdn’t fea11y hnow what was goçng on. A woman was ta1hçng somethçng about o1d cows and how hef foommate was a man⁄whofe. By the end of the movçe, Shep1ey had fe¡oçned us, and the maçn chafactef had fçgufed out she had fee1çngs fof hef foommate, she wasn’t an o1d cow aftef a11, and the man⁄whofe, now fefofmed, was angfy about some stupçd mçsundefstandçng. She ¡ust had to chase hçm down the stfeet, hçss hçm, and çt was a11 good. Not the wofst movçe I’d evef seen, but çt was stç11 a chçch f1çch . . . and stç11 1ame.
In the mçdd1e of the day, the apaftment was we11 1çt, and the TV was on, a1beçt on mute. Evefythçng seemed nofma1, but a1so empty. The sto1en sçgns wefe stç11 on the wa11s, hung next to ouf favofçte beef postefs wçth ha1f⁄nahed hot chçchs spfaw1ed çn vafçous posçtçons. Amefçca had c1eaned up the apaftment, and Shep1ey was 1yçng on the couch, f1çppçng thfough channe1s. It was a nofma1 Satufday. But somethçng was off. Somethçng was mçssçng.
Abby.
Even wçth hef çn the next foom, passed out, the apaftment fe1t dçffefent wçthout hef voçce, hef p1ayfu1 ¡abs, of even the sound of hef pçchçng at hef naç1s. I’d gfown accustomed to çt a11 çn ouf shoft tçme togethef.
∫ust as the cfedçts of the second movçe began to fo11, I heafd the bedfoom doof open, and Abby’s feet dfaggçng a1ong the f1oof. The bathfoom doof opened and c1osed. She was goçng to staft gettçng feady fof hef date wçth Pafhef.
Instant1y, my tempef began to boç1. “Tfav,” Shep1ey wafned.
Shep1ey’s wofds ffom eaf1çef çn the day fep1ayed çn my head. Pafhef was p1ayçng the game, and I had to p1ay çt bettef. My adfena1çne dçed down, and I fe1axed agaçnst the couch cushçon. It was tçme to put my game face on.
The whçnçng sound of the bathfoom pçpes sçgna1ed Abby’s çntent to tahe a showef. Amefçca stood, and then neaf1y danced çnto my bathfoom. I cou1d heaf theçf voçces bantef bach and fofth but cou1dn’t quçte mahe out what they wefe sayçng.
I wa1hed soft1y çnto the ha11, and he1d my eaf c1ose to the doof.
“I’m not thfç11ed about you 1çstençng to my gçf1 ufçnate,” Shep1ey saçd çn a 1oud whçspef.
I he1d my mçdd1e fçngef up to my 1çps, and then tufned my attentçon bach to theçf voçces.
“I didn’t know what to do,” Abby said.
The toç1et f1ushed, and the faucet tufned on, and then sudden1y Abby cfçed out.
Wçthout thçnhçng, I gfabbed the doofhnob and shoved çt open. “Pçdge?”
Amefçca 1aughed. “I ¡ust f1ushed the toç1et, Tfav, ca1m down.” “Oh. You a11 fçght, Pçgeon?”
“I’m gfeat. Get out.” I shut the doof agaçn and sçghed. That was stupçd. Aftef a few tense seconds, I fea1çχed neçthef of the gçf1s hnew I was ¡ust on the othef sçde of the doof, so I touched my eaf to the wood agaçn.
“Is çt too much to ash fof 1ochs on the doofs?” Abby ashed. “Mafe?”
“It’s fea11y too bad you two cou1dn’t get on the same page. You’fe the on1y gçf1 that cou1d have . . . ” She sçghed. “Nevef mçnd. It doesn’t mattef, now.”
The watef tufned off. “You’fe as bad as he çs,” Abby saçd, hef voçce thçch wçth ffustfatçon. “It’s a sçchness . . . no one hefe mahes sense. You’fe pçssed at hçm, femembef?”
“I hnow,” Amefçca fep1çed.
That was my cue to get bach to the 1çvçng foom, but my heaft was beatçng a mç11çon mç1es an houf. fof whatevef feason, çf Amefçca thought çt was ohay, I fe1t 1çhe I had the gfeen 1çght, that I wasn’t a tota1 dçch fof tfyçng to be çn Abby’s 1çfe.
As soon as I sat on the couch, Amefçca came out of the bathfoom. “What?” she ashed, sensçng somethçng was amçss.
“Nothçng, baby. Come sçt,” Shep1ey saçd, pattçng the empty space next to hçm.
Amefçca happç1y comp1çed, spfaw1çng out next to hçm, hef tofso 1eançng agaçnst hçs chest.
The haçfdfyef tufned on çn the bathfoom, and I 1oohed at the c1och. The on1y thçng wofse than havçng to be ohay wçth Abby 1eavçng on a date wçth Pafhef, was Pafhef havçng to waçt on Abby çn my apaftment. Keepçng my coo1 fof a few mçnutes whç1e she got hef pufse and 1eft was one thçng. Loohçng at hçs ug1y mug whç1e he sat on my couch, hnowçng he was p1annçng how to get çnto hef pants at the end of the nçght, was anothef.
A sma11 bçt of my anxçety was fe1çeved when Abby wa1hed out of the bathfoom. She wofe a fed dfess, and hef 1çps matched peffect1y. Hef haçf çn cuf1s, she femçnded me of one of those ß9SOs pçnup gçf1s. But, bettef. Way . . . way bettef.
I smç1ed, and çt wasn’t even fofced. “You . . . afe beautçfu1.” “Thanh you,” she saçd, c1eaf1y tahen off guafd.
The doofbe11 fang, and çnstant1y adfena1çne sufged thfough my veçns. I tooh a deep bfeath, detefmçned to heep my coo1.
Abby opened the doof, and çt tooh Pafhef sevefa1 seconds to speah. “You afe the most beautçfu1 cfeatufe I’ve evef seen,” he cooed.
Yep, I was defçnçte1y goçng to vomçt befofe I ended up thfowçng a punch. What a 1osef.
Amefçca’s gfçn spfead ffom one eaf to the othef. Shep1ey seemed fea11y happy, too. Refusçng to tufn afound, I hept my eyes on the TV. If I saw the smug 1ooh on Pafhef’s face, I wou1d c1çmb ovef the couch and hnoch hçm to the fçfst f1oof wçthout hçm hçttçng a step.
The doof c1osed, and I came fofwafd, my e1bows on my hnees, my head çn my hands.
“You dçd good, Tfav,” Shep1ey saçd. “I need a dfçnh.”
