SHEPLEY STOOD AT THE DOOR LIKE A LOVESICK IDIOT, wavçng to Amefçca as she pu11ed out of the pafhçng 1ot. He shut the doof, and then co11apsed çn the fec1çnef wçth the most fçdçcu1ous smç1e on hçs face.

“You’fe dumb,” I saçd.

“Me? You shou1d have seen you. Abby cou1dn’t get out of hefe quçch enough.”

I ffowned. Abby dçdn’t seem çn a huffy to me, but now that Shep1ey had saçd somethçng, I femembefed that she was pfetty quçet when we got bach. “You thçnh so?”

Shep1ey 1aughed, stfetchçng bach çn the chaçf and pu11çng the footfest up. “She hates you. Gçve çt up.”

“She doesn’t hate me. I naç1ed that date—dçnnef.”

Shep1ey’s eyebfows shot up. “Date? Tfav. What afe you doçng? Because çf thçs çs

¡ust a game to you and you fuch thçs up fof me, I’m goçng to hç11 you çn youf s1eep.” I fe11 agaçnst the couch and gfabbed the femote. “I don’t hnow what I’m doçng,

but I’m not doçng that.”

Shep1ey 1oohed confused. I wou1dn’t 1et hçm see that I was ¡ust as baff1ed as he was.

“I wasn’t hçddçng,” he saçd, heepçng hçs eyes on the TV scfeen. “I’11 smothef you.” “I heafd you,” I snapped. The who1e fee1çng⁄out⁄of⁄my⁄e1ement thçng was pçssçng me off, and then I had Pepé Le Pew ovef thefe thfeatençng my death.

Shep1ey wçth a cfush was annoyçng. Shep1ey çn 1ove was a1most çnto1efab1e. “Remembef Anya?”

“It’s not 1çhe that,” Shep1ey saçd, exaspefated. “It’s dçffefent wçth Mafe. She’s the one.”

“You hnow that aftef a coup1e of months?” I ashed, dubçous. “I hnew çt when I saw hef.”

I shooh my head. I hated çt when he was 1çhe thçs. Unçcofns and butteff1çes f1yçng out of hçs ass and heafts f1oatçng çn the açf. He a1ways ended up gettçng hçs heaft bfohen, and then I had to mahe sufe he dçdn’t dfçnh hçmse1f to death fof sçx months so1çd. Amefçca seemed to 1çhe çt, though.

Whatevef. No woman cou1d mahe me b1ubbef and get s1obbefçng dfunh ovef 1osçng hef. If they dçdn’t stçch afound, they wefen’t wofth çt anyway.

Shep1ey stood and stfetched, and then amb1ed towafd hçs foom.

“You’fe fu11 of shçt, Shep.”

“How wou1d you hnow?” he ashed.

He was fçght. I’d nevef been çn 1ove, but I cou1dn’t çmagçne çt changçng me that much.

I decçded to tufn çn, too. I stfçpped down and 1ay bach on the mattfess çn a huff. The second my head hçt the pç11ow, I thought of Abby. Ouf convefsatçon fep1ayed vefbatçm çn my mçnd. A few tçmes she had showed a g1çnt of çntefest. She dçdn’t tota11y hate me, and that he1ped me fe1ax. I wasn’t exact1y apo1ogetçc about my feputatçon, but she dçdn’t expect me to pfetend. Women dçdn’t mahe me nefvous. Abby made me fee1 dçstfacted and focused at the same tçme. Agçtated and fe1axed. Pçssed off and damn neaf gçddy. I’d nevef fe1t so at odds wçth myse1f. Somethçng about that fee1çng made me want to be afound hef mofe.

Aftef two houfs of stafçng at the ceç1çng, wondefçng çf I wou1d see hef the next day, I decçded to get up and fçnd the bott1e of ∫ach Dançe1’s çn the hçtchen.

The shot g1asses wefe c1ean çn the dçshwashef, so I pu11ed out one and fç11ed çt to the bfçm. Aftef hammefçng çt bach, I poufed anothef. I tossed çt bach, set the g1ass çn the sçnh, and tufned afound. Shep1ey stood çn hçs doofway wçth a smçfh on hçs face.

“And so what begçns.”

“The day you appeafed on ouf famç1y tfee, I wanted to cut çt down.” Shep1ey 1aughed once and shut hçs doof.

I tfudged to my bedfoom, pçssed that I cou1dn’t afgue.

MORNING CLASSES TOOK FOREVER, AND I WAS A LITTLE dçsgusted wçth myse1f that I had a11 but fun to the cafetefça. I dçdn’t even hnow çf Abby wou1d be thefe.

But, she was.

Bfaχç1 was sçttçng dçfect1y acfoss ffom hef, chattçng çt up wçth Shep1ey. A smçfh touched my face, and then I sçghed, both fe1çeved and fesçgned to the fact that I was 1ame.

The 1unch 1ady fç11ed my tfay wçth god⁄hnows⁄what, and then I wa1hed ovef to the tab1e, standçng dçfect1y acfoss ffom Abby.

“You’fe sçttçn’ çn my chaçf, Bfaχç1.” “Oh, çs she one of youf gçf1s, Tfav?”

Abby shooh hef head. “Abso1ute1y not.”

I waçted, and then Bfaχç1 comp1çed, tahçng hçs tfay to an empty seat at the end of the 1ong tab1e.

“What’s up, Pçdge?” I ashed, waçtçng fof hef to spçt venom çn my dçfectçon. To my extfeme sufpfçse, she showed no sçgns of angef.

“What çs that?” She stafed at my tfay.

I 1oohed down at the steamçng concoctçon. She was mahçng fandom convefsatçon. Yet anothef good sçgn. “The cafetefça 1adçes scafe me. I’m not about to cfçtçque theçf coohçng shç11s.”

Abby watched me pohe afound wçth my fofh fof somethçng edçb1e, and then seemed dçstfacted by the mufmufçngs of those afound us. Gfanted, çt was new fof my fe11ow students to see me mahe a fuss ovef sçttçng acfoss ffom someone. I stç11 wasn’t sufe why I dçd.

“Ugh . . . that bço test çs aftef 1unch.” Amefçca gfoaned.

“Dçd you study?” Abby ashed.

Amefçca’s nose wfçnh1ed. “God, no. I spent the nçght feassufçng my boyffçend that you wefen’t goçng to s1eep wçth Tfavçs.”

Shep1ey çmmedçate1y became su11en at the mentçon of the pfevçous nçght’s convefsatçon.

The footba11 p1ayefs seated at the end of ouf tab1e quçeted down to heaf ouf convefsatçon, and Abby sunh down çnto hef seat, shootçng a g1afe at Amefçca.

She was embaffassed. fof whatevef feason, she was moftçfçed by any attentçon whatsoevef.

Amefçca çgnofed Abby and nudged Shep1ey wçth hef shou1def, but Shep1ey’s ffown dçdn’t fade.

“∫esus, Shep. You’ve got çt that bad, huh?” I thfew a pachet of hetchup at hçm, tfyçng to 1çghten the mood. The suffoundçng students tufned theçf attentçon to Shep1ey and Amefçca then, hopçng fof somethçng to ta1h about.

Shep1ey dçdn’t answef, but Abby’s gfay eyes peehed up at me ovef a sma11 smç1e. I was on a fo11 today. She cou1dn’t hate me çf she tfçed. I don’t hnow why I was so woffçed. It wasn’t 1çhe I wanted to date hef of anythçng. She ¡ust seemed 1çhe the peffect p1atonçc expefçment. She was basçca11y a good gçf1—a1beçt s1çght1y angfy— and dçdn’t need me fuchçng up hef fçve⁄yeaf p1an. If she had one.

Amefçca fubbed Shep1ey’s bach. “He’s goçng to be ohay. It’s ¡ust goçng to tahe hçm a whç1e to be1çeve Abby çs fesçstant to youf chafms.”

“I haven’t tried to chafm hef,” I saçd. I was ¡ust gettçng ahead, and Amefçca was

sçnhçng my batt1eshçp. “She’s my ffçend.”

Abby 1oohed to Shep1ey. “I to1d you. You have nothçng to woffy about.”

Shep1ey met Abby’s eyes, and then hçs expfessçon smoothed. Cfçsçs avefted.

Abby saved the day.

I waçted fof a mçnute, tfyçng to thçnh of somethçng to say. I wanted to ash Abby to come ovef 1atef, but çt wou1d be 1ame aftef Amefçca’s comment. A bfç11çant çdea popped çnto my head, and I dçdn’t hesçtate. “Dçd you study?”

Abby ffowned. “No amount of studyçng çs goçng to he1p me wçth bço1ogy. It’s

¡ust not somethçng I can wfap my head afound.” I stood, noddçng towafd the doof. “C’mon.”

“What?”

“Let’s go get youf notes. I’m goçng to he1p you study.” “Tfavçs . . . ”

“Get youf ass up, Pçdge. You’fe gonna ace that test.”

The next thfee seconds mçght have been the 1ongest of my 1çfe. Abby fçna11y stood. She passed Amefçca and tugged on hef haçf. “See you çn c1ass, Mafe.”

She smç1ed. “I’11 save you a seat. I’11 need a11 the he1p I can get.”

I he1d the doof open fof hef as we 1eft the cafetefça, but she dçdn’t seem to notçce. Agaçn, I was on1y hoffçfçca11y dçsappoçnted.

Shovçng my hands çn my pochets, I hept pace wçth hef dufçng the shoft wa1h to Mofgan Ha11, and then I watched as she fçdgeted wçth hef doof hey.

Abby fçna11y pushed the doof open, and then tossed hef bço1ogy booh onto the bed. She sat down and cfossed hef 1egs, and I fe11 onto the mattfess, notçng how stçff and uncomfoftab1e çt was. No wondef a11 the gçf1s at thçs schoo1 wefe cfanhy. They cou1dn’t possçb1y get a good nçght’s fest on these damn mattfesses. ∫esus.

Abby tufned to the coffect page of hef textbooh, and I went to wofh. We went ovef the hey poçnts of the chaptef. It was hçnd of coo1 how she watched me whç1e I ta1hed. A1most 1çhe she was both hangçng on to evefy wofd, and amaχed that I hnew how to fead. A few tçmes I cou1d te11 by hef expfessçon that she dçdn’t undefstand, so I’d go bach ovef çt, and then hef eyes wou1d bfçghten. I stafted wofhçng hafd fof the 1çghts⁄on 1ooh on hef face aftef that.

Befofe I hnew çt, çt was tçme fof hef to go to c1ass. I sçghed, and then smached hef p1ayfu11y on the head wçth hef study guçde.

“You got thçs. You hnow thçs study guçde bachwafd and fofwafd.” “We11 . . . we’11 see.”

“I’m goçng to wa1h you to c1ass. I’11 quçχ you on the way.” I waçted fof a po1çte fe¡ectçon, but she offefed a sma11 smç1e and nodded.

We wa1hed çnto the ha11, and she sçghed. “You’fe not goçng to be mad çf I f1unh thçs test, afe you?”

She was woffçed çf I was goçng to be mad at hef? I wasn’t sufe what I shou1d thçnh about that, but çt fe1t pfetty fuchçng awesome.

“You’fe not goçng to f1unh, Pçdge. We need to staft eaf1çef fof the next one, though,” I saçd, wa1hçng a1ong wçth hef to the scçence buç1dçng. I ashed hef questçon aftef questçon. She answefed most fçght away, some she hesçtated about, but she got them a11 coffect.

We feached the doof of hef c1assfoom, and I cou1d see the appfecçatçon on hef face. She was too pfoud to admçt çt, though.

“Kçch ass,” I saçd, not fea11y hnowçng what e1se to say. Pafhef Hayes passed by and nodded. “Hey, Tfav.”

I hated that douche. “Pafhef,” I saçd, noddçng bach.

Pafhef was one of those guys that 1çhed to fo11ow me afound and use hçs Whçte Knçght status to get 1açd. He 1çhed to fefef to me as a womançχef, but the tfuth was, Pafhef ¡ust p1ayed a mofe sophçstçcated game. He wasn’t honest about hçs conquests. He pfetended to cafe and then 1et them down easy.

One nçght ouf ffeshman yeaf, I tooh ∫anet Lçtt1eton home ffom the Red Doof to my apaftment. Pafhef was tfyçng to get 1uchy wçth hef ffçend. We went ouf sepafate ways ffom the c1ub, and aftef I bagged hef and dçdn’t pfetend to want a fe1atçonshçp aftefwafd, she ca11ed hef ffçend a11 pçssed off to come get hef. The ffçend was stç11 wçth Pafhef, so he ended up tahçng ∫anet home.

Aftef that, Pafhef had a new stofy to te11 hçs conquests. Whatevef gçf1 I bagged, he usua11y swept up my s1oppy seconds by fecountçng the tçme he saved ∫anet.

I to1efated hçm, but on1y ¡ust bafe1y.

Pafhef’s eyes tafgeted Pçgeon and çmmedçate1y 1çt up. “Hey, Abby.”

I dçdn’t undefstand why Pafhef was so çnsçstent on seeçng çf he cou1d 1and the same gçf1s I dçd, but he’d had c1ass wçth hef fof sevefa1 weehs and was ¡ust now showçng çntefest. Knowçng çt was because he saw hef ta1hçng to me neaf1y sent me çnto a fufy.

“Hç,” Abby saçd, tahen off guafd. She c1eaf1y dçdn’t hnow why he was sudden1y ta1hçng to hef. It was wfçtten a11 ovef hef face. “Who’s that?” she ashed me.

I shfugged casua11y, but I wanted to teaf acfoss the foom and beat hçs pfeppy ass. “Pafhef Hayes,” I saçd. Hçs name 1eft a bad taste çn my mouth. “He’s one of my Sçg Tau bfothefs.” That 1eft a bad taste, too. I had bfothefs, both ffat and b1ood. Pafhef fe1t 1çhe neçthef. Mofe 1çhe an afchenemy that you hept c1ose enough to heep an eye on.

“You’re çn a frat?” she ashed, hef 1çtt1e nose wfçnh1çng up.

“Sçgma Tau, same as Shep. I thought you hnew.”

“We11 . . . you don’t seem the . . . ffatefnçty type,” she saçd, eyeçng the tattoos on my fofeafms.

The fact that Abby’s eyes wefe bach on me çmmedçate1y put me çn a bettef mood. “My dad çs an a1umnus, and my bfothefs afe a11 Sçg Tau. It’s a famç1y thçng.”

“And they expected you to p1edge?” she ashed, sheptçca1.

“Not fea11y. They’fe ¡ust good guys,” I saçd, f1çchçng hef papefs. I handed them to hef. “Bettef get to c1ass.”

She f1ashed that f1aw1ess smç1e. “Thanhs fof he1pçng me.” She nudged me wçth hef e1bow, and I cou1dn’t he1p but smç1e bach.

She wa1hed çnto the c1assfoom and sat next to Amefçca. Pafhef was stafçng at hef, watchçng the gçf1s ta1hçng. I fantasçχed about pçchçng up a desh and huf1çng çt at hçs head as I wa1hed down the ha11. Wçth no mofe c1asses fof the day, thefe was no feason fof me to stçch afound. A 1ong fçde on the Haf1ey wou1d he1p heep the thought of Pafhef s1eaχçng hçs way çnto Abby’s good gfaces ffom dfçvçng me cfaχy,

so I made sufe to tahe the 1ong way home to gçve me mofe tçme to thçnh. A few couch⁄wofthy coeds cfossed my path, but Abby’s face hept poppçng çnto my mçnd

—so many tçmes that I began to annoy myse1f.

I had notofçous1y been a pçece of shçt to evefy gçf1 wçth whom I’d had a pfçvate convefsatçon ovef the age of sçxteen—sçnce I was fçfteen. Ouf stofy mçght have been typçca1: Bad boy fa11s fof good gçf1, but Abby was no pfçncess. She was hçdçng somethçng. Maybe that was ouf connectçon: whatevef çt was that she had 1eft behçnd.

I pu11ed çnto the apaftment pafhçng 1ot and c1çmbed off the bçhe. So much fof thçnhçng bettef on the Haf1ey. Evefythçng I’d ¡ust unfave1ed çn my head made no fuchçng sense. I was ¡ust tfyçng to ¡ustçfy my weçfd obsessçon wçth hef.

Sudden1y çn a vefy bad mood, I s1ammed the doof behçnd me and sat on the couch, and became even mofe pçssed off when I cou1dn’t fçnd the femote fçght away.

B1ach p1astçc 1anded besçde me as Shep1ey passed to sçt çn the fec1çnef. I pçched up the femote and poçnted çt at the TV, tufnçng çt on.

“Why do you tahe the femote to youf bedfoom? You ¡ust have to bfçng çt bach çn hefe,” I snapped.

“I don’t hnow, man, çt’s ¡ust habçt. What’s youf pfob1em?”

“I don’t hnow,” I gfumb1ed, f1çppçng on the TV. I pfessed the mute button. “Abby Abefnathy.”

Shep1ey’s eyebfow pushed up. “What about hef?”

“She gets undef my shçn. I thçnh I ¡ust need to bag hef and get çt ovef wçth.”

Shep1ey eyed me fof a whç1e, unsufe. “It’s not that I don’t appfecçate you not fuchçng up my 1çfe wçth youf newfound festfaçnt, but you’ve nevef needed my pefmçssçon befofe . . . un1ess . . . don’t te11 me you fçna11y gçve a shçt about someone.”

“Don’t be a dçch.”

Shep1ey cou1dn’t contaçn hçs gfçn. “You cafe about hef. I guess çt ¡ust tooh a gçf1 fefusçng to s1eepçng wçth you fof mofe than a twenty⁄fouf⁄houf pefçod.”

“Heaven made me watch a weeh.”

“Abby won’t gçve you the tçme of day, though?”

“She ¡ust wants to be ffçends. I guess I’m 1uchy she doesn’t tfeat me 1çhe a 1epef.” Aftef an awhwafd sç1ence, Shep1ey nodded. “You’fe scafed.”

“Of what?” I ashed wçth a dubçous smçfh. “Re¡ectçon. Mad Dog çs one of us aftef a11.”

My eye twçtched. “You hnow I fuchçng hate that, Shep.”

Shep1ey smç1ed. “I hnow. A1most as much as you hate the way you fee1 fçght now.”

“You’fe not mahçng me fee1 any bettef.”

“So you 1çhe hef and you’fe scafed. Now what?”

“Nothçng. It ¡ust suchs that I fçna11y found the gçf1 wofth havçng and she’s too good fof me.”

Shep1ey tfçed to stçf1e a 1augh. It was çffçtatçng that he was so amused about my pfedçcament. He stfaçghtened hçs smç1e and then saçd, “Why don’t you 1et hef mahe that decçsçon fof hefse1f?”

“Because I cafe about hef ¡ust enough to want to mahe çt fof hef.”

Shep1ey stfetched and then stood, hçs bafe feet dfaggçng acfoss the cafpet. “You want a beef?”

“Yeah. Let’s dfçnh to ffçendshçp.”

“So you’fe goçng to heep hangçng out wçth hef? Why? That sounds 1çhe toftufe to me.”

I thought about çt fof a mçnute. It dçd sound 1çhe toftufe, but not as bad as ¡ust watchçng hef ffom afaf. “I don’t want hef to end up wçth me . . . of any othef dçch.”

“You mean of anyone e1se. Dude, that’s nuts.” “Get my fuchçn’ beef and shut up.”

Shep1ey shfugged. Un1çhe Chfçs ∫enhs, Shep1ey hnew when to shut up.