โI wouldnโt be marrying her if I didnโt plan on keeping her.โ
My hearing had to be faulty. Keep me? As if I were some sort of pet? Placing my hand over his as I fixed a smile on my face, I dug my nails into his flesh.
Casteelโs thumb didnโt miss a single sweep along my inner hip. โI canโt help myself.โ His lips brushed my cheek, and it took everything in me not to elbow him in the throat. โPenellaphe intrigued me from the first moment I spoke to her.โ
Intrigued. That word again.
โI can see why.โ Alastir tilted his head. โSheโs utterly unique, and most likely not what one would expect from the Maiden.โ
โShe is unique and brave, intelligent and beautiful,โ Casteel agreed, apparently no longer content to drive me out of my mind with just his thumb. His fingers were involved now, sliding out from his palm and then gliding back. โAnd completely unexpected. But she is not the Maiden, Alastir.โ His chin grazed my shoulder as he turned his head to the wolven. โAnd if you refer to her as the Maiden one more time, we are going to have a problem. Understand?โ
This time, when my muscles tensed, it was in response to his words. โUnderstood,โ Alastir murmured.
โGood.โ Casteelโs chin drifted over the curve of my jaw as he sat back.
Alastir was quiet for a moment, and then he addressed the men. โMake sure the horses are ready for when we check the roads.โ
Everyone at the table roseโeveryone but Delano and Naill. Those two remained even after Alastir flicked a pointed look in their direction.
โIf I called those men back, they would heed my summons,โ Casteel began, his fingers still sliding along my waist and hip. โAnd those who remain will only leave this table once I command it.โ
Alastir faced Casteel. โI know this.โ
โGlad to hear that, because for a moment there, I thought you might have forgotten who commands whom here.โ
A shiver tiptoed down my spine, a reminder of whose lap I sat in. This was not Hawke. He was the Prince of a kingdom, and he would not be disobeyed.
โI havenโt, Casteel. You know me better than that. Which is why I must speak openly.โ
โThen speak,โ Casteel replied quietly, and visions of him slamming his hand through Landellโs chest danced before me.
โYou wish for me to do so right now?โ Alastirโs gaze flicked to me briefly. โEven if what I have to say is something you might not want to be spoken at this time?โ
A tingling sensation swept over me as Casteelโs fingers stilled on my hip. For a moment, I thought he would send me away. โYouโd be surprised by what Penellaphe already knows.โ
Alastir lifted his brows.
โHe planned to ransom me in exchange for his brother,โ I announced, deciding it sounded a little better coming from me. Alastirโs eyes widened slightly. โItโs not a secret. Everyone at this table knows.โ
โAnd that has changed?โ Alastir queried softly, but neither Casteel nor I had a chance to answer before he continued. โIโve watched you grow from a small boy sitting at his motherโs side to the man you are today, just as I watched Malik. And I wish every damn day that I wouldโve gotten to watch him grow into the King he was destined to be. You two would do anything for each other, sacrifice anything.โ Theย sacrifice anyoneย went unspoken, but it still lingered in the space. โAnd I understand the sense of obligation you carry within you. I understand more than most do, as Iโm sure you remember.โ
Tension crept into Casteelโs body, and I knew that Alastir had struck a chord.
โI know itโs not like youโve suddenly given up on your brother, no matter how intrigued you may be.โ Alastir tipped toward us, his voice low. โNeither your mother nor your father wanted you to leave when you did. They understand why you felt you needed to, but you also know where they stand on this.โ
โI know where they stand,โ Casteel stated, and instinct told me that Alastir was referring to Prince Malik. โAnd where doย youย stand?โ
โWhere I always have, with the Kingdom of Atlantia,โ Alastir answered. โBut I also would never expect you to give up on Malik. I
wouldnโt be able to if I were you, so I need to ask. Is thisโฆengagement another ploy to gain your brotherโs freedom?โ
The fact that Alastir zeroed right in on what Casteel was planning told me that he did know him as well as he claimed.
I realized then that it wouldnโt be me who needed to convince Alastir of the engagementโs authenticity. It would have to be Casteel. And if he couldnโt? Then what?
โHow does marrying Penellaphe have anything to do with my brother?โ Casteelโs voice was level.
โThatโs a good question.โ Alastir leaned back. โPerhaps you believe that taking what the Kingdom of Solis covets and putting her in line to be the eventual Queen of Atlantia will give you better bargaining power.โ
The fact that Alastir was yet again so on point with what Casteel planned shouldโve stunned me. It didnโt. What took me by surprise was the eventualย Queen of Atlantiaย part.
I mightโve toppled out of the chair if it werenโt for Casteelโs arm around me. It struck me then that Casteel had left a very important part out when he discussed our arrangement.
He was to become King.
Oh, we hadย soย much to talk about, it wasnโt even funny.
โMaybe this would put all of us in a position of better bargaining power,โ Casteel remarked. I bit down on the inside of my lip. โBut during the time spent at the capital and in Masadonia, Iโve come to accept that my brother is beyond my reach.โ
Lie. That was such a lie. But I said nothing because even I had the sense to remain quiet.
Alastir was silent for a long moment and then he exhaled heavily. โAs much as I hate to say this, because I love both you and Malik as if you were my sons, I hope that is true. If only for your sake and the sake of the kingdom. It is far past time to let go.โ
I reached out with my senses again, this time not hesitating. Sincerity echoed through the invisible cord, tasting like warm vanilla.
โIt is,โ Casteel said, and my ability stretched out toward him. The burst of agony was tangy, coating my insides.
My hand dropped to his out of instinct, and I only stopped myself at the last moment. He would know what Iโd done. I slipped my hand away, clasping them in my lap.
โWhat about your obligations?โ Alastir met Casteelโs gaze with an unflinching one of his own. โWhat was expected of you before you left still awaits your return.โ
Casteelโs fingers started moving again, along the curve of my hip. โThings change all the time.โ
What had been expected of Casteel upon his return? Questions bubbled to the tip of my tongue, but I held them back, figuring that the second I started asking them would be the moment they stopped talking. Right now, it was as if they had forgotten I sat between them.
โAnd things have changed since you left, Casteel. Youโve been gone for over two years,โ Alastir advised, picking up his cup. โThere is unrest among our people, especially the wolven.โ
โI know that,โ Casteel answered as I glanced at Kieran. He stood with a hand on the hilt of his sword, but other than that, I wondered if it were possible for someone to be asleep while standing with their eyes open. He looked that bored. โAnd I will do everything I can to ease that unrest.โ
โBy marrying someone who is only half-Atlantian? An outsider?โ Alastir turned to me. โAnd I mean no offense by that, Penellaphe. I sincerely do not.โ
โNone taken,โ I advised. He was right. I would be an outsider to Casteelโs people.
โShe may only be half-Atlantian and raised in Solis, but my people will accept her becauseย Iย accept her.โ Casteel stated this as if there were no other option. โYou know, you were partly correct when you said that marrying her gives us bargaining power. It does. With her at my side, we have a better chance of gaining back our land.โ
Alastir sat back in his chair. โTo avoid war?โ
โYes. Isnโt that what you want? Isnโt that better than sending our people off to die by the thousands?โ Casteel demanded. โDo you want to see more wolven die?โ
โOf course, not.โ Alastir shook his head. โI want to avoid war. Iโve already lost enough to the Ascended, as you know.โ
I felt a momentarily tensing in Casteelโs body. โI do. Gods, I do know.โ He exhaled heavily, relaxing a bit, and I sensed that there was more, things not being said. โThe part you were incorrect about is assuming that my only reason for marrying Penellaphe is for bargaining power, whether that be for
my brother or the kingdom. If I didnโt feel the way I do for her, I couldโve simply used her in the way I originally planned.โ
The truth stung, but the lies scraped over my skin like hot knives. I kept my face blank, showing no reaction.
โThat is true.โ Alastir dragged his lower lip between his teeth. โI can only hope the unrest is manageable. Iโve been trying, but the young onesโฆ they have a certain view on how things should be carried out. And your father has agreed with them more and more.โ Alastirโs gaze fixed on the cup he held. โHe hoped that your time in Solis would prove fruitful. He has learned that it has. However, he has plans now, Casteel. And he is still the King.โ
โDo those plans involve me?โ There went the realization that I should remain quiet. Still, I couldnโt hold myself back. For far too many years, Iโd sat in silence while others around me discussed me, my life, and my future.
No more.
The look of surprise flickering across Alastirโs expression gave way to a faint smile. โI have a feeling that many things involve you now.โ His features sobered as his gaze shifted to the Prince. โI would like to speak to Penellaphe.โ
โAbout?โ Casteel queried.
โAbout all of this. I want to talk to her alone,โ he requested.
Casteel leaned forward, pressing his chest to my back. โWhy do you want that?โ
โDo you really need to ask that question?โ Alastir returned, his cheeks flushing with the first hints of genuine anger. โYou will need my aid when it comes to convincing your father and the wolven that this is a worthy marriageโthat this will benefit the kingdom, and that you truly chose her. You know that. Do you think I will go along with any of that if she is being forced into this?โ
My respect for the elder wolven blew through the roof of the keep. โNo, I do not believe you will go along with it,โ Casteel answered. โIf
Penellaphe wishes to speak with you, I have no problem.โ
My heart rate kicked up, but when Alastir turned to me, I nodded. โI will speak with you.โ
โPerfect.โ Alastir gave me a tight smile as he rose. โCome. Letโs walk.โ
Casteelโs arm slipped from around me, and I stood. โJust so you know, Penellaphe doesnโt need protection. She is more than capable of handling things herself. But that is my future you are walking away with. Guard her well. Your life depends on it.โ
โIs it true?โ Alastir asked as we walked the narrow halls of the keep, my hand tucked into the crook of his arm. Dim light flickered from the oil sconces, casting shadows along the unfamiliar stone walls. โYou can defend yourself? Is that with or without a weapon?โ
โBoth,โ I answered. โI have been trained with a dagger and a sword, as well as a bow. I have also been trained on how to fight, hand-to-hand.โ
Surprise and respect settled into his features as he looked down at me. โThat is not common for the women of Solis, and especially not for one who was the Maiden.โ
โItโs not,โ I agreed. โBut I was so helpless when my parents died. I was a child, but my mother hadnโt been able to fight back. If she could have, she mightโve survived. I justโฆI didnโt want to be helpless like that again, and so many people, especially women, never have the opportunity to learn how to protect themselves. They have to rely on othersโon the Ascendedโand IโฆIโm beginning to realize that further strengthens the absolute control the Ascended have.โ
โBut they allowed you to learn how to fight?โ
Imagining the Duchessโs or Dukeโs reaction to such news, I laughed softly. โNo. My guardians wouldโve had an absolute fit. But, honestly, I always thoughtโฆโ
โThought what?โ he prodded when I trailed off.
I wasnโt sure if I should share this, but something about Alastir put me at ease, and maybe that something was how much he reminded me of Vikter. โI always thought Queen Ileana wouldโve approved if sheโd learned that I could fight. I donโt know why I believe that. Itโs just thatโฆthe Queen I knewโโ
โIsnโt the Queen others know,โ he supplied, and I nodded. โPeople have many different sides to them. Even the Ascended. How did you learn to fight?โ
โOne of my personal guards taught me in secret. His name was Vikter.โ A knot lodged in my throat and stayed there as I told Alastir about him and the risks he took. โHe was like a father to me, and Iโฆgods, I miss him so much.โ
Alastir had stopped walking as I spoke of Vikter, but he still held my arm. โHe sounds like an amazing man.โ
โHe was, and Iโโ I blinked back the hot rush of tears. โHe should be alive today.โ
His gaze searched mine as he said, โAnd he died at the hands of Descenters who were following Prince Casteelโs lead? How were you able to move past that?โ
How? My stomach dipped.ย I hadnโtย moved past that. โI donโt think I will ever get over that.โ
โAnd yet youโve fallen in love with Casteel? He may not have held the swordโโ
โBut they killed in his name,โ I finished for him. โI know. Casteel knows that. He knows that he is responsible, and I know he loses sleep over it.โ My mouth dried as I said, โIt hasnโt been easy, but what I feel for him has nothing to do with Vikter.โ The lie rolled off my tongue smoothly enough. Maybe too easily. My heart lurched as wind beat at a nearby window. โNothing about Casteel and I has been easy. I thought he was someone else entirely when we first met, but I started falling for him even then.โ And gods, that was the truth. โAnd so, here we are.โ
โYes, here we are.โ Alastir gave a close-lipped smile as he shifted my arm so his hand held mine. โIโve known Casteel since birth, as well as his brother. I knew his father before then, and his mother even longer than that. I remember when the Queen was married to a different King,โ he said quietly, and that alone told me that he was far older than I anticipated. โCasteel is like a son to me. In reality, he wouldโve been a son of mine if fate had played out differently.โ
Would have been a son of mine? โWhat do you mean?โ
The skin at his eyes creased as my gift suddenly pressed against my skin, responding to the sudden shift in his emotions. An agony so potent and raw that it reached out to me. I opened myself, unable to stop it, and immediately tensed at the turmoil rolling through him, thus passing to me. His grief cut so deeply, it made it hard to breathe. I started to use my gift differently, to lessen the pain.
โDid you know that Casteel has been in love before?โ
His question threw me, causing me to drop the connection with him. Even then, the tangy bitterness of sorrow still filled the back of my throat. โYes, I know that.โ
And that was all I knew. That he had been in love. โDid he tell you that he was once engaged?โ Words left me. I shook my head.
A small, sad smile appeared. โIโm not surprised to hear that. He doesnโt talk about her often. No matter how much Iโve tried in the past. And to be honest, I canโt remember the last time he even said her name. I canโt blame him for that, and neither should you. She is a wound that has healed, but still a wound nonetheless. He would beโฆโ He looked down the hall, his shoulders tensing and then loosening. โHe would be very upset with me to know that I spoke of Shea with you. And, truthfully, I am overstepping here. But you need to know why I was so surprised to learn of your engagement. I honestly didnโt think Casteel would ever allow himself to feel like that again.โ His gaze met mine. โAnd you need to know why I hope his motivations for this marriage are true and rooted in his heart and not as a desperate bid to find his brother.โ
I didnโt know which part of what heโd shared was the most shocking. That Casteel had been engagedโto a wolvenโthat heโd been in love with someone who was so obviously no longer alive, or that Alastir wanted the marriage between us to be real.
I cleared my throat. โShea was your daughter?โ
Alastir nodded. โShe was. And itโs strange, I barely know you, but you remind me of her. She too often spoke her mind, much to the ire of everyone around her. And she was capable of defending herself when needed.โ He laughed a little. โI would guess that is one of the things that has drawn Casteel to you. That allowed him to see beyond the veil, so to speak.โ
I didnโt know what to think of any of that. โWhen did sheโฆdie?
How?โ
โIt was quite some time ago, many years before you were born.โ His words were yet another reminder of how many years of experience Casteel had. โShe is my daughter, but her death is not my story to share. Thatโs Casteelโs.โ His gaze met and held mine. โAnd I do hope it is one that heโll one day share with you.โ
Iโd believed that the source of Casteelโs grief had stemmed from his brotherโs capture, but Iโd already discovered that some of it was from what had been done to him. And now I wondered just how much of it was tied to this manโs daughter.
โIโm sorry to hear about your child,โ I said, meaning it. โAnd I wonโt say anything.โ
โI donโt mind if you do. To be frank, I hope he does talk to youโtalks to someone about her.โ
I was the last person who should be speaking to him about Shea. โWhy are you telling me this, though? It doesnโt sound like itโs something I should bring up with him.โ
โItโs not. At least, not now. I hope that he will open up and talk to someone one day, even if itโs not me. The reason Iโm telling you this is because Shea was no damsel. I can see that you arenโt either. But I hope you are not so much like her that you donโt ask for help or refuse it when you need it.โ He patted my hand. โI will forever be loyal to my kingdom, to the gods, and to the DaโNeers, but even if I never had a daughter, I could not stand by and watch a young woman be used against her will in such a way. War is cruel. There are casualties. But this would be unnecessarily cruel, and I will not stand for it.โ
My heart was pounding again. Could he sense that?
โCasteel has been determined to find his brother for decades, Penellaphe. Enough time to fill a mortalโs lifespan. And while I hope he has finally moved on, that he will assume the role his kingdom desperately needs, most importantly, I wish that he is finally allowing himself to live. I want to believe that. Yet, I donโt.โ
I tensed.
Alastirโs gaze met mine. โSo, that is why Iโm offering you my aid. If you are being forced into this, I will help you escape. I will do everything in my power to ensure safe passage. Not to send you back to Solis. I will not hand you over to those who seek to abuse you in a different way. But I will make sure you are somewhere neither the Ascended nor Casteel can ever reach you. All you have to do is tell me, and this will be over for you.โ
The breath I took went nowhere as I processed his wordsโhis offer. It was freedom. The same as Casteel offered, but without the strings of marriage and all the pretending and the risks involved. And I believed the sincerity of his offer. This man whoโd just met me would risk the ire of his
Prince, possibly even consequences that extended far beyond anger, to help a girl he barely knew. All because he wasโฆ
Because he was aย goodย man.
And it was something I could see Vikter doing. It was something I knew Vikter had wished that he couldโve done once he realized how much being the Maiden wasย killingย me, bit by bit, each and every day. Tears burned the backs of my eyes once more.
โDear gods,โ Alastir uttered. โI think the threat of tears tells me everything I need to know. Iโm sorryโโ
โNo. Itโs not that.โ I squeezed his hand. โItโs just that your offer is unexpected. Youโre a good person andโand there are so few good people. Itโs something I think Vikter wouldโve done, and it just made me think of him.โ
โAnd thatโs all?โ He watched me closely, placing his other hand over mine.
โYes,โ I said, holding his gaze. โI appreciate your offer. I appreciate what you are willing to do for me. But heโs not using me. Not like that.โ
โYou donโt need my help, then?โ โI donโt. I swear.โ
And I didnโt. Not now.
If heโd come to me a day before, my answer probably wouldโve been different. I wouldโve said yes. I wouldโve run. But he couldnโt give me what Casteel could. Ian. And I couldnโt walk away now, knowing that I could help change things for the people of Solis. The freedom Alastir offered wasnโt the kind I needed.
Alastir sighed, and I could tell that he thought I was making a foolish choice. Maybe that meant he didnโt believe Casteel. It could mean he felt bad for me because he believed me. I didnโt know.
โIf you ever change your mind,โ he said, his eyes sad, โyou only need to tell me. Can you promise me that?โ
I really felt like crying now. โI can promise that.โ โGood.โ He smiled, and Iโฆ
I didnโt even know what I was doing until I sprang forward and threw my arms around Alastir. I hugged him. The gesture stunned the man. For a moment, he didnโt move, but then he put his arms around me.
โSorry,โ I mumbled, pulling away. My face was hot.
He smiled then, one that crinkled the skin at the corners of his eyes. โYou never need to apologize for a hug, Penellaphe. Itโs been far too long since Iโve had one, to be honest. Neither Casteel nor Kieran is the hugging type.โ
I laughed hoarsely. โI think if I tried to hug Kieran, heโd pass out.โ โMost likely. Well, I think I know all that I need to,โ he said, yet he
still sounded sad. I thought the emotion was either for his daughter, for Casteel, or even possibly for me. โI should probably get you back to the Prince.โ
I started to turn but stopped. I didnโt know when weโd get a chance to speak privately again. โMay I ask you something?โ When Alastir nodded, I said, โYou used to help move Atlantians or their descendants from Solis?โ
โI did.โ
โI was thinking about my parentsโabout why they left the capital. Itโs possible that they knew what the Ascended planned or learned that they were descendants themselves. At least one of them. Were there others who did what you did?โ
โThere were others. Not many. And sadly, most never returned home.โ He stroked his chin with his thumb. โWe assume they were captured, so there arenโt many you could speak with.โ
I hadnโt even dared to hope that there was anyone I could talk to. โI was just wondering if it was possible for my parents to have known that someone like you existed.โ
โOf course, it was. The King and Queen knew that we were actively searching for our people,โ he confirmed. โItโs possible one of your parents learned of us from an Ascended.โ His head cocked. โSo, you think that is what happened?โ
โI donโt know,โ I admitted, running a hand over where the knife was sheathed to my thigh. โI donโt remember much about the night I was attacked, but I do remember that my father was quieter than usual during the trip. So was my mother. They seemed nervous instead of excited about starting a new life in a quieter place. And IโฆI think my father met with someone. I vaguely remember there being another person there.โ
โBut your memories arenโt clear enough.โ When I shook my head, he said, โThatโs fairly common after such a trauma.โ
It was. Or so Iโd been told.
โAfter the war, many survivors claimed to have forgotten entire battles they fought. The emotions and the scars were still there, but the details were nothing but shadows,โ he explained. โThe same with Casteel. He remembers very little of his time in captivity.โ
That wasnโt true. He remembered it all, or at least enough to not have to search the shadows for details, but I didnโt say that. I was surprised that heโd shared enough for me to know that he remembered and had not told Alastir.
โI have dreams. Sometimes they reveal a little more. Like opening a chest and letting more of the night out. But I donโt know if those memories are real or not. The new ones, that is,โ I said. โAnyway, I donโt know if it matters. I just want to know.โ
โWanting to know is understandable. I understand.โ His features tightened for a moment, and then they smoothed out. โMost of those who knew to look for us used false last names. What were your parentsโ first names?โ
I exhaled heavily. โCoralena and Leopold. Cora and Leo,โ I said, staring at the lamp, trying to remember what my father looked like. The memories of him had faded. โThatโs what they called each other.โ
โCoralena,โ Alastir said after a moment, clearing his throat. I looked at him, but he too was staring at the lamp. โThatโs a beautiful name. One unique enough that if they used their real first names, it would be remembered. When we arrive in Atlantia, Iโll ask those who are still with us if they recall ever speaking with or about one with that name. Itโs a long shot, but you never know. The world, no matter how big, is often smaller than we realize.โ