“I’VE NEVER KNOWN SOMEONE WHO’S definitely getting head today look so fucking miserable.”
I don’t realize I’ve zoned out until I hear Xander say the words “head” and “fucking miserable.” “I’m not definitely getting head later, but I will try to cheer up. Sorry, man.”
After the whole food hall sang happy birthday to me this morning, Xander announced we were spending our day off seeing what Meadow Springs has to offer. I told him I already know the answer and it’s “not a lot” but he was insistent, saying now he and Rory have joint custody of me I couldn’t not go with him when I went with her yesterday.
It’s a nice sentiment but there’s only so much mini golf two men can play.
Normally, I’d spend my day off hanging around to see Rory, but after our conversation about fame and privacy yesterday, a bit of distance for a few hours is letting me think clearly. I can’t think properly when I’m around her and I need to start using my brain again because I haven’t been recently.
Stopping at The Drunk Duck, the one bar available, Xander and I decided to grab some burgers before heading back to camp. I’ve spent the entire meal half listening, half trapped in my head.
“I’m pretty sure birthday head is in the Constitution,” he jokes, causing me to choke on my soda. “Ha, got you to laugh, you miserable shit. What’s going on? Tell Uncle Xan.”
“Did you just call yourself Uncle Xan?”
“Well I can’t call myself Daddy Xan, can I? I know how to read a room.
So go on, what’s jumped up your ass?”
My knee jerk reaction is to turn the conversation around and make it about Xander, but I think it’d be good to get his opinion. We’ve been sharing the same space for weeks now and he’s a genuinely good guy, so I decide to chance it. “I’m wondering if I should call it a day with Aurora.”
“You’re fucking lying,” he says, watching for my reaction. “Say you’re joking right now.”
“We almost got caught this week. I opened the door just as Jenna showed up. If she’d arrived two minutes earlier she’d have caught m— well, it doesn’t matter, but she would have caught me doing something that would get me sent me home.”
“Two people sneaking around almost get caught. Yeah, that’s how it tends to go, bro. It’s half the fun and do you even care about going home anymore? We’re almost done anyway and your friend said you could always crash with him if you need to. You’re too smart to think I’d believe this is about getting caught. What’s the real reason?”
I have to give it to Xander, he has a point. I’ve definitely been more relaxed after my friends encouraged me to risk getting fired and JJ gave me somewhere to go if I needed it until I have the excuse of college assignments and hockey to keep me unavailable. “Have I ever told you I’m not trying to go pro?”
He puts his burger down, wiping his hands and mouth on his napkin, and leans back against the booth, only focusing on me. “No, you haven’t mentioned it. Why not? What’s that got to do with Rory?”
“I don’t want to be famous. I don’t want to have strangers potentially poking around my life or get attention in the public eye. It’s my worst nightmare and I don’t love hockey enough to give up my privacy like that.”
“Okay, and . . . ?”
“And she’s already famous. I googled her last night and there’s so much about her family, there’s even photos of Emilia. It’s just a lot. I knew about her dad, but I don’t really feel like I knew the full extent of it if that makes sense. Because she’s Rory and she’s the way she is and I forget that outside of camp she has a whole other life.”
“A whole other life that she came here to escape.” Xander takes a long sip of his beer and it’s the most serious I’ve seen him. “I need to know if you know what you’re saying is wild and you just need my reassurance, or if you genuinely believe it? Because I can deal with a little it’s getting too real crisis, but if you actually think you should break things off with her, I don’t know how to help you, bro.”
“You think I’m being a dick, don’t you?”
Xander shrugs and it’s the yes he wants to say, but won’t, because he’s a good friend. I probably am being a dick, but I also know that things don’t go well for me in life. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in the good things, since they happen so infrequently, in comparison.
Xander sighs and I feel it in my bones. “I think you’re finding an issue where there doesn’t need to be an issue. Think of any famous person with a non-famous girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, whatever. Tell me something outrageous about them. Think of their deepest darkest secret, the one thing in the world they wanted nobody to know but came out anyway.” I’m totally blank. “You can’t because people don’t give a shit. You thought about dropping your friends that just went pro? Your now famous friends?”
I’d never want to cut out Nate or JJ. “Never even crossed my mind.” “Isn’t your brother in a band, too? What happens when he gets mega
famous? You’ll be Aurora-less and in the exact same situation. You clearly really like her and she stares at you like you hung the fucking moon. So just be together and don’t stress for once.”
It’s like being doused in cold water. I’d never want to give up the way she looks at me. “You’re right, man. I dunno. I think I’m just in my feelings.”
“That’s okay. Feelings are good,” he pulls out his cellphone, glancing at the screen briefly and immediately putting it back in his pocket. “Nothing good comes from bottling shit up. For the record, I think you’re being a fool because your chemistry is wild. She’s great. You’re great. I bet the se—”
“Watch it . . .”
“So protective, jeez. But my point stands. What could you possibly do or have done that’s so bad you’d give up someone who makes you happy. It’s not like you’re getting married, but I get it, it’s not something that’s going to go away in the future. But when did she stop being worth the risk?”
“I never said she wasn’t worth the risk. I want her. I like her so fucking much and I can’t work out how the hell this happened. But just because I want her doesn’t mean I deserve to have her. I’m just . . . I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Xander downs the rest of his beer and I sip on my soda, feeling irritated with myself. “Do you think you’re good enough for her?”
“What?”
“You heard me,” he says, resting his elbow on the table and leaning against his hand. “Something’s got you into this funk because you just said deserve. Is that what you’re worried about? You two get serious in the future and there’s an international debate to try to decide if you deserve her?”
“Well, I wasn’t until right now, Jesus Christ.” Another thing to now worry about.
Xander rolls his eyes. “Answer my question, dude. Do you think you’re good enough for Aurora?”
Wanting her, having her and feeling like I deserve her are three very different things. “No, I don’t. I’m a fuck up.”
“That’s your problem; you’re such a fucking pessimist. Let me tell you right now, Callaghan, no bullshit, no protecting your feelings—you are good enough. The sooner you start believing that, the sooner we get to pretend this little crisis you’re experiencing never happened.
“You gotta trust the universe to let you be happy, man. But if you’re not and you’re going to let Aurora down when shit gets too scary for you, then yeah, you should bow out now while it’s just starting. She doesn’t deserve to have that happen to her.”
“And if I fuck everything up first?”
He rolls his eyes again. “I swear you just enjoy punishing yourself, bro. You’re not a fuck up. You’re twenty-one and you’re one of the nicest, most level-headed guys I know. We’re friends, so you get to be in your head right now and I won’t hold it against you, but she will if you call it a day and change your mind when you realize you fumbled the bag.”
Well shit. I rub at my jaw nervously, feeling like more of a dick than I did before this conversation started. “Did they put a birthday lecture in the Constitution too?”
“Stop acting like a goof and I’ll stop hitting you with my wisdom. Come on, birthday boy, drink up. The woman who’s obsessed with you texted to tell me to get our asses back to camp.”
I down the rest of my drink. “I didn’t know Fish could text.”
I MULL OVER XANDER’S WORDS as we drive back to Honey Acres with the radio loud enough that we don’t have to chat.
After we sign back in at reception, Xander starts telling me about one of the lifeguards—who he’s seventy-five percent sure checks him out when we take the kids on the lake—as we head toward the entertainment area where the evening activities take place. He keeps up a steady stream of anecdotes, which isn’t necessarily unusual for Xander, but this is different and it makes me stop in my tracks.
“There’s a cake, isn’t there?” Xander stops, too, a sheepish look on his face as he shrugs.
“Why would there be a cake? Maybe there’s cake, maybe there’s not cake. I don’t know! I’m just here to keep the kids safe; I don’t know about kitchen operations.” He blows out a breath, putting his hands on his hips. “There might be a cake.”
“Thanks for being so clear and concise, buddy.”
We’re almost there when he throws an arm around my shoulders. “She gives you the puppy eyes. You don’t know how scary she can be to the rest of us when she chooses to be.”
I can cope with a cake on my birthday if it makes Aurora happy. Having a birthday during summer break has always meant people are busy and my mom’s attempt at a birthday celebration always turned into some kind of drama, so I stopped making an effort.
I haven’t checked if anyone has tried to reach me today to wish me happy birthday, but last night when I used it to google the Roberts family— which feels embarrassing to admit now—I had no missed calls or messages from my family. I haven’t heard from anyone since the hospital and, even though I made it clear I didn’t want to be contacted, I’m still surprised they listened. I don’t even have any money requests from my dad, which is more suspicious than surprising.
Xander clears his throat, dragging me out of my head. “Listen, I need to blindfold you and I really need you to not punch me.”
“Please tell me you’re joking. What could I possibly need a blindfold?” “Does this feel like the kind of thing I’d joke about? Maybe Clay’s going
to jump out of your cake and strip, I don’t fucking know.” He pulls one of the blindfolds we use during one of the kids’ games from his pocket. “I’m not tough enough to fight you, big guy. Let’s not make this difficult. She was very clear that you need a blindfold.”
He places the material over my eyes as I huff. “You knew this was coming and you still let me moan about my feelings?”
“Told you, you’re a fool.” Letting Xander navigate me while blindfolded is now considered my personal hell. It’s totally silent as we come to a stop and part of me worries he’s about to push me into the lake or something. “I’m taking the blindfold off. Remember to act surprised about your cake,” he whispers as he unties the material at the back of my head.
I squint beneath the sunlight as my eyes readjust and everyone shouts happy birthday all at once. I’m immediately piled on by multiple bodies and it’s not until they free me from their clutches and step back that I realize who’s in front of me.
Henry’s pushing Nate out of his personal space, while Robbie maneuvers himself out of Kris and Bobby’s way. JJ’s arm lands on my shoulder and my jaw still feels like it’s on the floor. “Happy birthday, kiddo.”
“The girls and Joe send their love,” Robbie says. “We wanted to video call them, but you weren’t joking about the service here.”
“What the fuck is happening right now?”
Two of my campers, Sadia and Leon, push their way through my friends and hold out a huge handmade birthday card. Sadia frowns. “You can’t say curse words in front of us.”
Crouching down, I try to drag myself back into work mode as I gratefully accept the card. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just very, very surprised.” There’s a painting on the front of it but I can’t work out what it is. My friends are at Honey Acres and this birthday card looks like it lost a fight with a paint gun. “Give me a clue, guys.”
Leon points to blue blobs. “It’s you crying about Kevin’s turd.”
“Your friends are really noisy,” Sadia says, looking around them all. They are being noisy, cheering and shouting as they try to control their visible excitement. Each of them has a yellow lanyard around their necks with the word visitor printed on it.
“Being slandered by an eight-year-old,” Mattie says quietly to Robbie. “I slander you all the time, Liu,” Nate snorts.
They’re not quiet enough because Sadia hears everything. “It’s not slander if it’s true—my mom’s a lawyer.”
“Okay, legal eagle,” Jenna says, making her way through the people crowding around me. “We’ve had Russ to ourselves for lots of weeks. Why
don’t we let him have one more minute with his college friends and then we can start his party.”
“Party?” I repeat, swallowing.
“You really thought she was going to let you get away with not celebrating?” Jenna says. There’s something in her tone. Something that tells me maybe she knows what I don’t want her to know and, weirdly, it makes me feel better, because she hasn’t fired me. “Fat chance of that. She got everyone here in under twenty-four hours. She goes all out for people she cares about.”
Looking over the shoulders of my friends, I spot her talking to Emilia near the entertainment stage. I don’t know why she’s hanging back, when all I want to do is wrap my arms around her. “I’ll be back in one minute,” I say to the guys, immediately heading towards her.
Her face lights up as I approach and it takes every fiber of my restraint to hug Emilia first, so it doesn’t look suspicious. I let Emilia go and hold out my arms to Rory until she wraps her arms around my waist and I bury my head into her hair.
Aurora is glowing as she leans back and smiles up at me. “Happy birthday, Callaghan.”
“You’re incredible.”
“Happy birthday, Russ,” Emilia says, slapping me on the arm, as she leaves Aurora and I alone.
I don’t want to let go but I know I have to. She knows too, which is why she takes a step backwards. “You didn’t give me any time to get you a birthday present,” she grabs a small paper gift bag from behind her, “so it isn’t very good, but please know it caused me a lot of stress and took so freaking long to do because I’m out of practice.”
Reaching into the gift bag, I pull out my present. A yellow origami dog. “Oh my God, is it Fish?” She leans over to peek into the bag, reaching in and pulling out two smaller yellow dogs, placing them on my palm too. “This is incredible.”
“I tried to make possums but nobody could tell what they were supposed to be.” I let her hold the origami as I pull out something else from the bag. “Okay, so I can’t lie, I stole this one from the old library that nobody uses and it’s older than both of us combined.”
I read from the cover. “Learn all thirty-seven presidents: for ages six to ten.”
“I know how much you love naming presidents.” She gives me a look that makes me want to say fuck the party. “There’s one more present, it’s probably at the bottom.”
Digging in the bag, I pull out the final present. It’s a piece of pink card the size of a hockey ticket. When I flip it over, it’s unsurprisingly nothing to do with hockey.
ONE BIRTHDAY WISH COUPON
ELIGIBLE FOR REDEMPTION BY RUSS CALLAGHAN AT ANY TIME FROM AURORA ROBERTS
“You don’t have to decide what you want now,” she says softly. “I’m sure you’re overwhelmed. I know I went a little overboard . . .” I look around at the banners, balloons, streamers that I didn’t even notice before. “But you deserve to have nice things.”
“I wish I could kiss you.”
“Hand over your coupon and we can make that wish come true. I mean, we’ll cause camp-wide outrage, which isn’t very birthday celebration-y but a deal is a deal.”
I wish I could go back to earlier and slap that Russ. I wouldn’t have spent the day worrying about whether we’re a good idea.
Aurora Roberts will always be a good idea.
Handing her the token, I watch her eyes widen in surprise. “I want to take you on a date.
That’s what my birthday wish is.” “A date?” she repeats.
“Yes. A real date.” “With me?”
“With you.”
“Even though I gave you origami golden retrievers and an old moth- eaten book on presidents for your birthday?”
“Especially because of those things.”
The hardest part of being on everyone’s radar is going to be having no opportunity to sneak off tonight. She takes the coupon from my outstretched
hand, her green eyes sparkling, and nods. “Consider your wish granted.”
BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION is exhausting and I’m ready for it to be over.
I pick at the frosting of my second piece of cake, soaking in the quiet now all the campers have been taken to bed. Well, as quiet as it can be with my friends around. As soon as the cake was cut, presents were handed over and happy birthday was sung, I finally got the rundown of how my birthday party came to fruition.
Before we headed to Meadow Springs yesterday, Aurora got JJ’s number from Emilia and between them they coordinated this very last-minute surprise. They set off this morning, arriving just in time to make the friendship bracelets now decorating my arms.
Henry said Honey Acres is worse than he thought it would be and Bobby is upset Jenna is both uninterested and unable to remember him, while JJ is just happy to be reunited.
Orla agreed to the guys visiting on the condition they wear the visitor lanyards and they’re not left unattended anywhere on site.
“Should I be expecting you to move her in?” Robbie says, sitting beside the fire with me and Nate. “That room alters brain chemistry, clearly.”
“Why are you acting like Lola doesn’t sleep in your bed five nights a week?” Nate snaps back.
“You try telling Lola what to do,” Robbie argues back, “see what happens.”
Aurora has made herself scarce this evening, opting to keep herself busy making sure everyone is having a good time. I wish I could sit her beside me and let the guys get to know her, but it’d look suspicious and I think if she wanted to do that, she would. A few of them have caught her on her own for individual chats, but I have no idea what they’ve said to her.
“She’s not moving in, don’t worry. We haven’t labeled it, so I suppose we’re technically friends who like each other.” The words feel weird coming out of my mouth but what else am I supposed to call her? “She’s great though. I really like her.”
They both start laughing at the same time. Nate smirks as he leans back in his chair. “I remember thinking Stas was my friend.”
“She actively disliked you and then she got Stockholm syndrome,” Robbie snorts. “She was never your friend.”
“Still got the girl, didn’t I?” Nate shrugs. “Y’know Aurora offered to pay for everyone’s flights if it got us here. She was ready to hire a private driver. Either she’s about to be the best friend you’ve ever had or you’re about to be the relationship Henry complains about living next to.”
Forcing away all the insecure feelings from earlier, I answer honestly. “I want both.”
The pair of them laugh and I’ve never noticed before now how similar the two are. Like an old couple who mirror each other’s mannerisms. Robbie sips his hot chocolate and Nate does the same, they both give me the same smug grin. “Young love.”
