BECKETTโS ABSENCEย in the seat in front of me felt palpable.
I glanced at the clock over Mr. Arisโs desk. He still had a couple of minutes.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone enter the room. The farther in he came, the better I could see himโhis shaggy hair, the casual way he slung his backpack over one shoulder, his confident swagger. Lord help me. As he brushed past me, I could smell his cologne, but then, after sliding into his seat, he turned to me, gave me a heart-melting grin, and said,
โGood morning, Cupcake.โ
If my heart didnโt slow down, Iโd have a heart attack before lunch and prove my mom right.
โGood morning,โ I breathed.
Mr. Aris called the class to attention, but didnโt he know I couldnโt focus with Beckett Langley talking to me? Callingย meย a special nickname? With all the butterflies in my stomach, it was a wonder I didnโt take flight right then.
I only made it through math class by copying down everything Mr. Aris said, because otherwise my mind would have run wild with daydreams. After the bell rang, I survived health class under Merrittโs steely glare, and I even endured AP English, but barely.
Finally, I was standing in the lunch line, ready to meet up with the girls and discuss strategy for the football game this Friday. With exactly one month left until the homecoming game, we had some major decisions to make about the nightโs activities.
I filled my tray with all the things I couldnโt eat at home under Momโs diet plan and swiped my lunch card at the end of the line. After grabbing a few napkins, I started away from the lunchroom, only to be stopped by my mother.
She looked at my tray, her lips turning down. Busted.
โI thought we talked about saving a third of your plate for vegetables,โ she said, still staring disappointedly at my food.
โPotatoes are a vegetable, right?โ
A couple of students passing by laughed, and one said, โAmen.โ Mom didnโt seem as amused. โYouโve already paid for this.โ
It was a statement that didnโt call for a reply.
She sighed. โI thought you would want to lose the weight like Dr.
Edmonson said.โ
The more we talked, the more I felt like everyone in the lunchroom was staring at us. That was exactly what I needed. For Beckett to be reminded of my spare tire and remember that girls like me and guys like him existed on different planes, mine with extra wide seats. โMom, can we talk about this later?โ
โPCOS is serious, andโโ โMom, please?โ I begged.
The last thing I wanted was for Beckett to hear about my PCOS and diet plan. Nothing killed high school romance like infertility and fat.
Her expression warred with emotions, but eventually she gave me a curt nod. โBut come home after school. We need to talk about this.โ
I nodded, putting โverbal lashingโ and โfamilial humiliationโ on my mental to-do list. Aiden never had to sit through any of these lectures. Probably because the guy could eat triple quarter pounders three times a day and just get more buff. Not like meโno, one look at the things and Mom would be sending me back to the bathroom with more virginal pregnancy tests.
Not wanting my mom to change her mind and hunt me down for round two, I hurried to the AV room to meet the other girls.
Jordan was the only one missing from the room. I dropped my tray on the table and glared at it. Why did my mom think she had to control everything I ate? Didnโt she know Iโd be on my own in less than a year,
with a campus meal plan she couldnโt monitor like a hawk and an entire life outside the oppressive weight of her thumb?
โWhatโs wrong with you?โ Ginger asked.
I groaned and held up a French fry. โApparently this isnโt health-teacher approved.โ
โBut potatoes are vegetables,โ she said with a grin.
With a small laugh, I shook my head. โThatโs what I said. Didnโt work.โ I took a bite and swallowed. It tasted good, just like it always did, but I couldnโt appreciate it as much. What if Beckett or Merritt had overheard my mom? That would be the end of what little clout Iโd acquired in the last few
weeksโthe end of any chance I had with Beckett.
I sighed. โI love my mom, but sometimes I wish she would butt out.โ Zara lifted a corner of her lips. โBe thankful you have one.โ
โWhat happened to your mom?โ Ginger asked.
โShe got sick when I was eleven. Breast cancer.โ
Callie frowned and tried to pat her hand, but Zara put it in her lap. โShe was my best friend.โ
Well, now I felt like a jerk. โIโm sorry, Iโ” โWhereโs Jordan?โ Zara asked, changing the subject. The rest of us shrugged, just as the door opened.
Jordan had her phone pressed between her cheek and her shoulder as she dropped her tray on the table. โFine. Fine. Do whatever you want.โ She held up the screen and hit end way harder than necessary.
โWhat was that about?โ I asked, grateful for a distraction.
Jordan rolled her eyes. โMy boyfriendโs an idiot.โ But she left it at that. โLetโs focus on you. How was this morning?โ
I shrugged, aiming for nonchalance but probably hitting spastic instead. โJust another hi before class. Which I love. But heโs not exactly proclaiming his undying love for me… Should I be worried about that?โ
Zara shook her head. โHeโs still figuring out his feelings. Beckett is the kind of guy who wonโt lay all of his cards out to everyone until he knows for sure how he feels.โ
That made me feel better, if only slightly. โDid Carson say anything?โ I asked Callie.
โJust that heโd try to talk to Beckett after the game without making things too obvious.โ
I nodded. โSo the game Friday?โ
โLetโs go,โ Zara said. โAfter seeing all the guys in their uniforms last time…I think Iโm a football fan.โ
The rest of us giggled. โItโs a plan,โ I said.