THE GIRLS HELPEDย me get ready for the โpartyโ Tuesday night. My parents thought I was staying at Zaraโs house for a school projectโand I wasโjust not until after I met with Beckett.
It would just be him and me, but the girls and I gathered driftwood for a bonfire that would burn for hours if needed. We set a cooler with drinks nearby and even got out a couple of canvas chairs and blankets so Beckett and I wouldnโt have to lie on the sand or sit on hard, warped stumps.
Nervous didnโt even come close to describing the jitters spreading to every single part of my body. Soon, it would be just Beckett and me, and Iโd have no one telling me which move to make next. This would be different than our encounters at the bakeryโIโd asked Beckett to come. And heโd said yes.
โAre you sure I can do this?โ I asked them.
โOf course,โ Jordan said. โHeโs coming; thatโs half the battle.โ
โExactly,โ Zara agreed. โAnd remember what he said on the recording? Heโs done dating girls like Merritt. Now is your chance to show him what he needs.โ
Callie reached out and adjusted my curls so they fell easily over my shoulder. โYou look amazing.โ
Ginger nodded. โHeโd be crazy not to fall for you.โ
People had complimented me before in my life. Sometimes it was off the cuff or on the followed a self-deprecating comment. Whether it came from my mom or a friend, I just had a hard time believing it, no matter how desperately I wanted to. I knew what I was, and I knew what I wasnโt. But I still thanked Callie. Her words came from a kind place.
Jordan looked over the setup. โDo you need anything else?โ
โAbout a million times more confidence that this isnโt going to be a terrible disaster?โ I only half-joked.
Ginger laughed. โSee? Funny. Heโll love that.โ
โExactly,โ Zara said. โHe wonโt even know what hit him.โ
Light from Callieโs phone illuminated her face. โHe should be here soon. We better go,โ Callie said. โBut chat us if you need anything. And tell usย everythingย after.โ
I gave her a soft smile. โI will.โ
They walked away, the sand softly swishing under their feet. I stared at the waves, flicking my phone case away from the phone and letting it slap back until Zaraโs car started up and pulled away.
With a sigh, I sat in one of the chairs with my feet extended toward the fire. This close to the ocean, it was cold at nightโthe saltwater chill easily seeped through my clothes and cooled me to the bone.
Or maybe that was the sinking feeling in my gut that told me Beckett wouldnโt come. That Merritt was right and I was just a charity case for him. Just the thought made me shiver.
But then footsteps sounded in the sand, and I looked over my shoulder to see Beckett walking easily toward me, his arms swinging at his sides.
He smiled an easy smile and lifted a hand. โHey.โ
โHey,โ I breathed, even though I knew he couldnโt hear me. Still, he came closer and sat in the chair next to me.
โOne beach party,โ I said as I spread my arms wide. โSince you had to skip the last one to come after me.โ
His smile crackled brighter than the fire. โI think we had more fun than them anyway.โ
My stomach swooped. I knew I had. I just hadnโt expected him to feel that way. Or say those words.
โSo,โ he said. โWhere we left off. I was going to ask you if you wanted a drink.โ
โYou were?โ
He nodded, then gestured toward the cooler. โWould you like a drink?โ I giggled. I couldnโt help myself. โYes, please.โ
โLetโs see. We have…โ He opened the cooler lid and scanned the contents. First, he pulled out a red sports drink and then a blue one. โCherry daquiri or blueberry mule.โ
I laughed. โDaquiri me.โ
He handed it over, and we were silent for a moment as we twisted the caps open and drank.
โHonestly,โ I said, โIโm not really sure what to do now. I havenโt been to many parties.โ
Only one to be exact, and Iโd left that one early. But I didnโt tell him that.
He smiled. โItโs easy. Just drink some cheap beer from a keg, make an ass of yourself, go home, fall asleep, then wake up regretting what you did the night before.โ
โAnd youโre speaking from experience?โ
He capped his drink and wedged it in the sand. โOh, no, of course not.
This is all theoretical.โ
I laughed. โWell, theoretically, what should we do now?โ
โOne step ahead of you.โ He had his phone out and music blended with the crash of the surf. It had a nice beat with something that sounded like steel drums in the background.
โWhat do you think?โ he asked.
โI havenโt heard it before. Itโs like a cool version โUnder the Sea.โโ โItโs indie.โ
I listened to the song for a minute, my heart racing out of tempo. โWhat about now?โ
โIf weโre going off last time, I think you still owe me a truth, Cupcake.โ
A groan escaped my lips as I remembered the horrible event that led to one of the best nights ever. โWhat did you ask again?โ
โI think it was most embarrassing date.โ
โOh.โ I looked down at the drink in my hands, almost wishing the ground could swallow me up as easily as I did my birth control pills at night. โI havenโt been on a date.โ
His mouth fell open, almost comically. โWhat? Really?โ My cheeks warmed. โWhy do you look so surprised?โ
He sat back, masking his expression. โI just…I donโt know why no oneโs asked you out.โ
I shook my head, so not wanting to go there. Self-deprecating why- would-guys-like-a-girl-like-me talk was definitely not sexy, even if it was accurate. โI guess that means I really do get a pass?โ
โThis time,โ he agreed. โAnd I think itโs a dumb game anyway.โ
โYou do?โ
He nodded. โWhy donโt we just talk? I liked when we did that at the bakery.โ
I didnโt need the fire. His words warmed me up way more effectively. I looked down at my hands folded over the blanket in my lap. โI liked that too.โ
โI have a question for you,โ he said. โWhere would you go if you could go anywhere in the world?โ
I glanced toward the stars that dotted the sky. โThe Vatican. I want to see the Sistine Chapel.โ
โReally? Anywhere in the world and you want to look at ancient paintings?โ
With a shrug, I said, โI could go to a touristy place and take a selfie, or I could see thousands of years in a single second. That art, the amount of people who have seen it and been moved by itโitโs more amazing than anything I could imagine.โ
โWhen you put it like that…โ He nodded appreciatively. โI can see why.โ
โYeah?โ
โYeah.โ His smile softened, making my insides do the same. โI like older art anyway.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ
โBack then they accepted things as they were, found beauty in the everyday.โ
โAside from painting things that didnโt exist,โ I teased.
With a laugh, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. I found myself leaning closer too. โThink about the paintings,โ he said. โThey werenโt these airbrushed models holding themselves to ridiculous standards. The women were real.โ
My heart fluttered. Iโd never thought of ancient art like that, and the fact that Beckett had thought so much about it made me like him even more. But it got me thinking. โWhatโs your favorite thing youโve ever taken a photo of?โ
His hazel eyes caught mine, dark in the fire, and all the energy there transferred to me as he said, โYou.โ
My heart hammered like it was trying to leap out of my chest and touch his words where they hung between us, sizzling over the fire.
โMe?โ
He nodded. โYour lips.โ His fingers twitched in his lap like he wished he could touch them. I wished he would.
โYeah?โ
โTheyโre stunning.โ
I absentmindedly brushed my finger over my mouth, each nerve ending sensitive, longing to feel his lips on mine. What if my first kiss was with Beckett Langley? With this strong, thoughtful guy sitting across from me?
โWhatโs your favorite thing youโve ever painted?โ he asked, breaking the tension.
With nervous tingles spreading through my chest, I made a decision. Wordlessly, I took my phone and thumbed to the watercolor Iโd painted of us and extended it to him.
โIs that…โ He left his question hanging, and I answered it with a nod. Us. Kissing. Doing what everyone thought was impossible.
His lips pressed together, and for a second I was afraid heโd sneer at me, walk away, share what an embarrassment Iโd made of myself with the entire school. But he didnโt do any of those things.
Instead, he shifted from his chair and got to his knees in the sand. Soon, he was kneeling in front of me, his eyes level with my own. He was coming closer. His breath smelled sweet, like heโd sampled something from the bakery.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the magic of his lips to mine, but was greeted with a ringing instead.
His phone was ringing.
Beckett swore under his breath, but I sat back, catching my own. His thumb slid over the screen, and he held the phone to his ear. โYeah?โ
He was quiet for a moment before saying, โNow?โ
I didnโt quite understand the sinking in my chest. Why it hurt so bad that heโd probably have to leave.
Beckettโs eyes turned to me, glittering in the firelight, and his lips turned down. โIโll be there,โ he said roughly into the speaker. โBye.โ
I tried to hide the unexplainable breaking in my chest as he dimmed his phone screen and put it in his pocket.
โMy dadโs plans changed, and heโs coming home tonight,โ he explained. โAnd he wants you there.โ My voice was seconds from cracking.
Beckett nodded. โIโm so sorry.โ
Faking a smile was harder than it had ever been before as I said, โItโs fine. Between half the party last week and half the party tonight, youโve gotten in a full one without the hangover.โ
His chuckle sounded low and got lost in the crash of the waves. โLet me help you clean up at least.โ
I shook my head. โGo see your dad. Iโve got this.โ I stood and started folding my blanket, desperate for something to do with my hands. Somewhere to direct my gaze.
His fingers stalled on mine, and I dared myself to look into his eyes. They were shining, magic sparking there. โThank you for…the best party.โ He trailed the tips of his fingers over my cheek and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. โCupcake.โ
My bones immediately turned to mush. It was a miracle I remained standing as he turned and walked away, pausing at the edge of the sand to give me a final wave before driving away in his Mercedes.
After his taillights had faded around city streets, I bent to begin folding our chairs and blankets. The events of the evening still whirred through my mind. Had Beckett Langley been about to kiss me? And even better, had he been disappointed when he couldnโt?
My heart contorted itself in all sorts of unbearable positions at that thought. So much rode on whether or not Beckett liked meโthe homecoming dance, finally putting Merritt in her place, my friendship with the other girlsโbut most of all, my heart. I wanted to believe that girls like me could have happily ever afters with guys like him.