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Chapter no 21 – WREN

A Million Kisses In Your Lifetime

โ€œWREN.โ€ย Fig stops directly beside my desk, and I glance up at him. โ€œA word?โ€

Not waiting for my response, he heads to his desk and I follow after him, not daring to look back at Crew. Iโ€™m sure I know what Iโ€™d see on his face.

Anger. Frustration. Annoyance.

Itโ€™s the Wednesday after my life changed in a variety of ways and Iโ€™m just trying to cope, day by day. My father has called me every evening, his tone soothing as he asks endless questions about my day. I give him minimal responses, not sure how to talk to him, or what to say.

Heโ€™s worried about me after the divorce news. I suppose I should find that sweet, but thereโ€™s something about it that makes me feel like heโ€™s only trying to cover his butt. Mother sent me a text Monday checking up on me, but otherwise, I havenโ€™t heard from her.

Typical.

And then thereโ€™s Crew.

I canโ€™t stop thinking about him, even though I tell myself itโ€™ll lead nowhere. I relive the way he kissed me in the back seat of the car every night before I go to bed. Canโ€™t help but wonder where things could go between us if I kept seeing him. He was so sweet at the gallery, and when we went to lunch. It felt like a date with a boy who might actually like me.

My parents ruined everything. The divorce announcement kind of soured me on the idea of a possible relationship with Crewโ€”with anyone. The dinner that night at the Von Wellerโ€™s was a complete bust. Larsen kept trying to talk to me, flirt with me, and I was so cold, I froze him out. Which is not my usual style. I kept thinking about Crew and his warning about Larsen. And how my parents are trying to set me up with him for my future.

Unbelievable.

After Crew kissed me so passionately in that empty classroom Monday, he hasnโ€™t tried anything inappropriate since, and I canโ€™t help but feelโ€ฆ

Disappointed.

I know Iโ€™m the one who said I wanted to keep it as friends-only between us, and I still feel that way because the last thing I need is a potential relationship messing with my head. I donโ€™t think I have the emotional capacity to handle something so overwhelming right now.

And the way Crew Lancaster makes me feel is very, very overwhelming.

I still wish heโ€™d kiss me though. Or hold my hand. Hug me. Itโ€™s comforting, being in his arms. Heโ€™s warm and solid, and he smells like heaven.

โ€œWren?โ€ Fig is already sitting at his desk while Iโ€™m stalled out in front of the classroom, looking like an idiot, Iโ€™m sure.

I scurry over to his desk, clamping my lips together to ensure I donโ€™t apologize.

I over-apologize for unnecessary things. Why would I have to say sorry right now? Because I always do? Thatโ€™s not a good enough reason anymore.

I really need to start standing up for myself.

โ€œIs everything okay?โ€ I ask Fig, once Iโ€™m standing beside his desk.

โ€œI was just going to ask you the same question.โ€ He rests his clutched hands on top of his desk, lowering his voice. โ€œI can tell something is bothering you.โ€

He is far too perceptive. Itโ€™s dangerous. Like he can hone in on girls when theyโ€™re feeling extra vulnerable and takes advantage of them. โ€œIโ€™m all right. Really.โ€

โ€œIs someone bothering you?โ€ His gaze shifts over to where Crew sits. His new spot, directly behind me. I quickly glance over my shoulder to see Crew glowering at the two of us, never looking away. Like he doesnโ€™t care that he got caught staring. โ€œI can talk to him if you want me to.โ€

I shake my head. โ€œCrew isnโ€™t bothering me.โ€ Iโ€™m not hiding that I know who heโ€™s talking about.

โ€œAre you sure about that? I know he can be intimidating. He has a reputation around campus for bullying girls, on occasion.โ€

Iโ€™m not surprised. Crew tried to intimidate me many times over the years, though I mostly ignored him, which probably frustrated him even more. โ€œHe doesnโ€™t bully me. Crew is my friend.โ€

Figueroaโ€™s eyebrows shoot up. โ€œYour friend? Oh, Wren. Please tell me you donโ€™t actually believe that.โ€

โ€œWhat do you mean?โ€ Iโ€™m hurt by his remark. As if Iโ€™m a little girl whoโ€™s too naรฏve to know better.

Been there, done that. Still struggling with the aftermath.

โ€œIf Crew claims to be your friend, itโ€™s merely code for something more.โ€

โ€œCode for what?โ€ I decide to play stupid. Of course I know what heโ€™s referring to, but everyone thinks Iโ€™m an innocent virgin, so why not play the part.

โ€œHeโ€™llโ€”take advantage of you. Thatโ€™s how boys like him operate.โ€

I stare at Fig, hating the way his words make me feel. Hating more that heโ€™s just like the very boy heโ€™s describing. He takes advantage of his female students, preying on the weakest ones.

Is that how he saw me only a few weeks ago? Weak and unassuming? Too trusting and easy to manipulate?

Well, too late, sir. Iโ€™m on to your games.

โ€œI know exactly how boys like him operate.โ€ Itโ€™s my turn to lower my voice. โ€œMaybe thatโ€™s exactly what I want him to do, hmm? Did you ever think of that?โ€

He struggles to keep his expression neutral, though I can tell I shocked him. โ€œVery well. I justโ€”wanted to warn you.โ€

โ€œThanks, Fig. Appreciate it.โ€ Oh, where did that come from? I sound like Iโ€™ve got attitude.

I kind of like it.

I turn away from Figโ€™s desk so fast, my skirt flares out, flashing a bit of leg. I catch Crewโ€™s gaze dropping to my thighs, and my skin warms as I walk back to my desk.

Why am I keeping him at armโ€™s length again?

I fall into my seat, glancing over at Crew to see heโ€™s already watching me. โ€œWhat the hell did he want?โ€ His simmering gaze shifts to Figueroa.

โ€œHe asked if I was okay.โ€ I shrug, trying to play it off, but Crew wonโ€™t let me.

โ€œTrying to make a move on you?โ€ โ€œNever.โ€

He clenches his jaw. โ€œIโ€™ll kick his ass if he says something inappropriate to you, Wren. I mean it.โ€

My entire body erupts in goosebumps at the ferocity in his voice. How protective he is, how he said my actual name. โ€œI blew him off.โ€

โ€œHe can pick up on girls who are going through shit,โ€ Crew continues. โ€œI know. I figured that out.โ€

Crewโ€™s gaze finds mine, the anger slowly dissipating. โ€œYouโ€™ve got this handled, donโ€™t you?โ€

I nod. โ€œI do. Iโ€™m going to be okay. But thank you for watching out for me.โ€ โ€œAnytime,โ€ he murmurs, just as Figueroa starts lecturing again.

I turn and face the front of the classroom, thrilled that Crew actually trusts that I can take care of myself.

Something no one ever gives me credit for.

The rest of the day passes just as the last two did, though I decide to switch it up at lunch. I go in search of Maggie, who I find sitting with Lara and Brooke. They all stare up at me as I stop at their table, murmuring uninterested greetings before they return their attention to their phones.

โ€œCan I sit here?โ€ I ask no one in particular, pulling out a chair and settling in right next to Maggie. โ€œHow are you?โ€

She shrugs, staring down at her uneaten sandwich. โ€œOkay.โ€

โ€œHey.โ€ I reach out and settle my hand on top of hers, which startles her. She turns her head, frowning at me. โ€œI wanted to apologize to you.โ€

โ€œFor what?โ€

โ€œJudging you. Lecturing you. Whatever other dumbโ€”crap Iโ€™ve done to you over the last three years or so,โ€ I admit. โ€œI donโ€™t have any right to look down upon you like I have. I justโ€”I got a little too high and mighty with my morals, and I shouldnโ€™t have. I hope you can forgive me.โ€

Maggie stares, no doubt shocked by my apology. While I think I say sorry for way too many things, this one is warranted. I need to apologize to a few more people, even Lara and Brooke, but Iโ€™m taking this one step at a time.

โ€œI accept your apology,โ€ she finally says, her voice soft. โ€œCan we still be friends?โ€ I ask hopefully.

She nods, and I pull her in for a hug, squeezing her tight. โ€œIf you need someone to talk to, Iโ€™m here. Iโ€™ll listen to you. And I wonโ€™t pass judgment either. I promise.โ€

Maggie clings to me, her cheek pressed to mine. โ€œThank you, Wren.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s up with the hugfest?โ€ Brooke asks, interrupting us. โ€œYou hoping some of her purity rubs off on you, Mags?โ€

I glare at Brooke, hating how easily she tossed that insult at her supposed friend. โ€œAs if you have any room to talk,โ€ I say.

โ€œOh, my bad. Sorry, didnโ€™t mean to insult Miss Perfect.โ€

โ€œShut up, Brooke,โ€ Maggie says wearily. โ€œYouโ€™re so exhausting sometimes.โ€

Lara giggles. Brooke glares, just before she pushes away from the table and takes off. Lara soon follows, running after her.

โ€œWhy do I hang out with those two again?โ€ Maggie asks me, just before she starts to laugh.

โ€œI donโ€™t know. I hang around them too sometimes, but theyโ€™re sort of awful.โ€

โ€œTheyโ€™re actually terrible.โ€ Maggie shakes her head and sighs, pushing her tray away from her. โ€œI canโ€™t eat.โ€

โ€œWhy not?โ€

โ€œSo much going on.โ€ Her smile is rueful. โ€œIโ€™d tell you all about it, but weโ€™d need at least five hours.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve got nothing but time,โ€ I tell her, reaching out to pat her hand. โ€œAre you and Franklin still broken up?โ€

โ€œYeah. He found out about Fig.โ€ And with that one sentence she confirms my suspicions. โ€œHe wasnโ€™t too happy about it. He even wanted to tell Headmaster Matthews about it.โ€

Oh wow. โ€œDid he?โ€

Maggie shakes her head. โ€œI convinced him not to, at least for now. I donโ€™t know how much longer I can put him off.โ€

โ€œWhy donโ€™t you let him tell? Then at least you have nothing to do with it.โ€ โ€œBecause Iโ€™m in love with him, Wren,โ€ she admits.

โ€œFranklin?โ€

โ€œNo. With Fig.โ€ She sighs. โ€œAnd thereโ€™s more.โ€ God, what more could there be?

โ€œYouโ€™ll freak out though,โ€ Maggie continues. โ€œJust tell me,โ€ I say, needing to know.

Her gaze meets mine, and I can see a myriad of emotions swirling in her eyes. Fear and worry and just the tiniest bit of happiness too. โ€œIโ€™m pregnant,โ€ she whispers.

My mouth falls open as I struggle to respond. โ€œWith Figโ€™s baby.โ€

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