The afternoon was hot, and as the forest began to heat up, it came to life with strange and beautiful butterflies. Or at least thatโs what we thought they were at first.
But they werenโt butterflies.
They were tiny humanoid figures with giant multicolored butterfly wings that ranged across the spectrums of yellow and red. They came like a sudden passionate and chaotic swarm out of the deeps of the forest, raced past the teams of tired Rangers, turnedโand then were suddenly everywhere.
It was one of the most beautiful things Iโd ever seen in my life, and for a long moment I stopped thinking about coffee and the lack thereof as Iโd been doing as I trudged along. Then they started whispering. Whispering like a chorus singing a quiet song they could barely contain. Flitting about and dancing all around the wiped-out Rangers. Cavorting in that confused butterfly dance of a way, bobbing up and down as they flapped their oversized wings just to maintain altitude. Landing on the Rangers and their gear and weapons. Perching on the tops of rifle barrels. Whispering and tittering to one another.
GandalfโI mean, Vandaharโwas ahead of me, and when they came to him he raised his staff and began to laugh out loud. Like a crazy person. Or a wizard. Which is probably the same thing. But it was a great, good, warm bellow of a laugh, and it was comforting to hear after everything weโd been through in this strange world.
I listened to the butterfly people speaking, or singingโwhatever it was
โin their enigmatic whisper-language, but it was too low and chaotic for me to make out any distinct sounds or syllables.
โWhat are they saying?โ I shouted to the wizard. If anyone would know it would be him.
He ignored me and continued to laugh at the multicolored tornado we were all now encased in. It swirled around the wizard and the tired Rangers who allowed themselves to become perches for dancing whispering butterflies. And then the Rangers were laughing too. Or chuckling at least. Utterly amazed that such delicate things existed.
โThey are ofโฆ the Fae,โ said Autumn close to me, the beautiful butterflies dancing around her, landing in her hair and on her cloaked shoulders, whispering and then suddenly and urgently flapping off. โFae Scoutsโฆ for the Queen ofโฆ Gossamer Throne.โ
I continued to marvel at the sudden thunderstorm of delicate little things. Tiny people with caps and swords, and tiny horns, and delicate little clothing, and vibrantly colored butterfly wings. And also, I continued to marvel at how beautiful she was. Last of Autumn. In this moment. I watched her smileโฆ and then I realized it was a sad smile despite the soft afternoon sunshine. Melancholy. Happy now, if only because it was a break from some greater burden she carried and said nothing of. I wanted to take that burden from her, or go kill it. I wanted to do that so the sadness she carried would go away and never come back again.
Uh-ohโฆย I told myself.ย Youโre inโฆ
โTheyโre sayingโฆ the orcs have turned backโฆ as have the rest of the dark host. They are telling usโฆ we are safe now. Butโฆ just for today,โ she almost sang.
โIs there something else coming? Something dangerous theyโre worried about?โ I asked her.
โWhy do you ask?โ โYou seem sad.โ
She smiled and shook her head, turning once more to the little butterfly people. The Fae. Their scouts.
โNo,โ she said after a moment of considering them. โThat is theirโฆ way. All their concernsโฆ reportsโฆ all are only ever about today. Always. They are creatures who live onlyโฆ in the present moment. They donโt think tomorrow and its troublesโฆ that they will ever come. Today is everything. To them. The past is nothing. I envy them for that.โ
I paused, watching her. Studying her for intel. Intel I would never share with anyone. Intel I would never use to hurt or manipulate her. Intel for intelโs sake. Intel because I wanted to be the scholar of her. Of Last of Autumn. Noโofย Autumn. I wanted to be the cartographer of all the places on the mapโฆ that were her.
Yeah. I was falling.
If I was Tanner I wouldโve been marrying Stripper Number Three and paying twenty-five percent interest on a used Mustang.
Hadnโt even thought about the cute co-pilot sinceโฆ
โIs there something about the past?โ I said. โSomething that makes you sad?โ
But before she could answer, Vandahar called out, โThe queenโs scouts tell us we are safe now, Rangers. A little while more and we shall reach the Hidden Cave. โTis a brief walk now. And then there will be much feasting and pleasant talk.โ
Once more the teams of Rangers, overburdened, carrying wounded, assisting the walking wounded, tired and hungry, continued on. But there was a new lightness in the day. Because sunshine and butterflies and long walks through epic emerald-green forests were a rare treat. Like a cup of coffee in the afternoon of a long day that had started way too early. This experienceโฆ it gave that same feeling.
And now I was obsessing about coffee again. Good going, me.
But I could tell that was how the Rangers whoโd trained for the suck viewed the sudden swarm of unexpected butterflies. Like some rare and surprising break that made it all worth it on some level. A magical experience that only happened for those who were faithful enough to endure, and survive, the suck. Maybe that was the unspoken reward theyโd been seeking all along without ever knowing it? Maybe that was what they thought as they walked once more through the hot afternoon in the cool under the forest giants.
I traveled next to Last of Autumn for a long time. Saying nothing. Mist, the dappled gray, followed along and occasionally stopped to crop at spots of lush green grass.
โWhy?โ I said, breaking the silence. Just that.ย Why.
It startled her for a moment. I realized that once again sheโd been in deep, almost prayerful thought. Meditation of some kind.
โI do notโฆ understand,โ she said.
โWhyโฆโ I hesitated on whether to use the familiar of her name. To cross that barrier. Break that taboo. I sensed there was something that needed to be said, and maybe that was the only way to force the issue into the open warm and forest-scented air between us. Yeah, I wanted to beโฆย more. With her.
โAutumn. Why did you come to help us get off that island?โ
This was personalโIโd just made it soโbut it was also something that involved the Rangers. Intel that was actually important. And if we were going to get out of this, then intel, in lieu of bullets, beans, and blankets, was the currency of survival.
Her mouth made a little โoโ, and she looked off toward the forest. The sun was starting its fade down through the treetops. Cool shadows began to lie across the forest floor.
โYouโฆโ She hesitated. โAll of you. You wereโฆ in danger. I came toโฆ just help.โ
Then she bit her lip and I could tell there was more she would never allow herself to say.
โThereโs more, isnโt there?โ She nodded reluctantly.
โJust tell me then. And Iโll tell my leader. And maybe we can all find some way to help each other. Us. The Rangers, and your people.โ
She took a deep breath.
โMy people. My people areโฆ small in number. Nineteen are left. Most are children. And one very oldโฆ blind woman. And soonโฆ I must go to my death.โ
Wait, what?
I stopped along the march. Stopped there in the forest surrounded by fantastic twisting trees that climbed up into the hot hazy afternoon. Iโm sure there was a look on my face that conveyed the stunned silence I felt deep within my mind. Struck that she was facing death when she looked so young, beautiful, and alive.
She nodded.
โI must go,โ she added.
Why?
And then I asked.
โBecauseโฆ a promiseโฆ broken. And nowโฆ a chance to breakโฆ a curse. A chance for lifeโฆ for the young. All thatโs left of us.โ