WHOEVER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR plotting out our season schedule deserved a handwritten thank-you note.
A few days in the desert, followed by a stint in sunny Southern California, was heaven. The timing was perfect to escape snowy Connecticut as winter melted into spring.
We got an extra day off after playing in Las Vegas, which meant a beach day in San Diego. The team was pleased to find I booked our accommodations on the oceanfront. Their praise had me taking a mental bow.
Youโre welcome, boys.
My handiwork didnโt stop there.
After making a few calls, I booked Natalie on a flight to join us on the West Coast for a few days. The playoff grind was quickly approaching, and my best friend needed a break. Our long weekend in the Caribbean was already a distant memory.
Currently, Natalie and I sat in the shade of a cabana overlooking the beach, where the players were having an impromptu off-ice session in the sand.
Days like today were morale boosters for a team. Training was part of their job, but seeing the inside of the weight room day after day became monotonous. Changing it up and making it fun did wonders.
We could hear their laughter as they ran in the sand. The heat of the day, combined with their workout, had shirts plastered to sweaty bodies, outlining the muscles hidden beneath.
Who needed porn when this was your view?
Damn, I love my job.
With my third drink of the day in my hand, I was feeling a bit tipsy and more than a little turned on. Handing my glass to Natalie beside me, I cupped both hands around my mouth, shouting, โTake off your shirts!โ
Natalie giggled. No doubt she was remembering the time Iโd drunkenly demanded that Jaxon remove his shirt when he stopped by during one of our girlsโ nights in the early days of their relationship. Iโd been trying to lighten the moodโthey were so awkward together back thenโand Jaxon did not disappoint. Natalie, on the other hand, had been mortified when he practically stripped in her front hallway.
Every head on the beach turned in our direction, including innocent bystanders not involved with the team activities.
Even from a distance, I could see the mischief in Calโs eyes as he made a show of shaking his head in disbelief at my outrageous outburst. Slowly, he reached down to grasp the hem of his white T-shirt, peeling it over his head. Taking a water bottle, he poured it over his head, and I bit my lip to stifle a moan.
Jaxon was never far from his best friendโs side, putting a hand above his eyes to shield them from the sun and get a better look into the cabana. Natalie gave him a shy wave, and a smile lit up his face before he wrenched off his own shirt.
He could thank me later for brokering him a little alone time with his wife.
A whistle blew, drawing their attention back to the drills on the sand.
Ordering lunch, we settled in to enjoy the rest of the show.
Laying on our stomachs facing the ocean on the comfortable cabana bed, I nudged Natalieโs shoulder. โArenโt you glad you came?โ
Sighing, she smiled. โYou sure canโt beat this view.โ โIโll drink to that.โ I raised my glass.
Natalie clinked her lemonade to my margarita. โYouโll have to pick up my slack.โ
Exhaling deeply, I replied, โForget your slack. Iโm currently drinking for four.โ
โIf it makes you feel any better, I wish I was on your team.โ โAnd what team is that?โ I raised an eyebrow.
โTeam Empty Uterus.โ
We fell into a fit of laughter.
โHowโd Jaxon take the news?โ I asked.
We were well overdue for a girlsโ night. Even though we saw each other at Comets home games, I respected that she wanted to keep things quiet, so I hadnโt brought up the sensitive topic until now. Natalie had a thing about privacy, not that I could blame her after spending over a decade living life in front of the cameras.
Her brown eyes rolled in response. โAbout how you would imagine. He was like a giddy child on Christmas morning. I read him the riot act, but he couldnโt wipe the smile from his face.โ
โJaxonโs a great dad. He loves his kids more than anything.โ
Rolling over onto her back, she stared at the canopy above us. โI know. It only makes me feel more guilty.โ
โWhatโs there to feel guilty about?โ
Natalie sighed. โBabies are a blessing. I know that. But I thought I was done. Hell, I thought I was done after Jameson, and then after Beau. I was making plans for our life with the kids getting older, and now it feels like Iโm back to square one. And then thereโs Jaxon. Youโre right, heโs an amazing father. When I told him I was pregnant again, he explained how excited he was to experience the process as my true partner. It made me realize how much he missed out on with Charlie because I was too afraid of what letting him get close to us would mean. I wasnโt fair to him, and this is my chance to make it right. I just wish it didnโt come at the price of giving up my body for the next two years.โ
I rubbed her arm. โI think your feelings are valid. Youโve got a lot of bad memories associated with unplanned pregnancies, and that colors how you see this one. Youโre in a loving, committed relationship, and this baby was made with love. Give yourself a little bit of grace in mourning the loss of the life you were planning. But if I know anything, itโs that when this baby gets here, youโll forget all the reasons you wanted to stop after Charlie. Imagining a life without them simply wonโt be possible.โ
Turning her head, Natalie gave me a sly smile. โWhen did you begin channeling your inner Amy?โ
We all knew Amy was the one you went to when you needed comfort.
She could put a positive spin on any situation.
โI have no idea where any of that came from,โ I teased. โTotal out-of- body experience.โ
Grasping my hand, she winked. โIt wasnโt half bad. Thanks, Hannah.โ
A throat cleared behind us. โWho do I call to lodge a formal complaint with the league office about Comets staff members s*xually harassing their players?โ That voice belonged to my shirtless blond behemoth, and I smiled, turning around to find Cal, Benji, and Jaxon approaching our private lounging spot.
Jaxon came close enough to drop a kiss on Natalieโs lips, whispering, โWhat are you doing here, baby? And where are the kids?โ
With Benji around and the rest of the team still close enough to see us on the beach, I couldnโt expect the same show of affection from my man. The secret-relationship crap was getting old fast.
Natalie beamed at her husband. โHannah practically begged me to come and spend a few days in the sun with her. So, Preston and Lucy came up to watch the kids at the house.โ
Jaxonโs eyes devoured Natalie in her bathing suit. On our private vacation six weeks ago, sheโd felt comfortable enough to wear a bikini, but with more people around, her body dysmorphia had her covering up more. The pregnancy hadnโt yet begun to show, and she was rocking the hell out of a one-piece swimsuit.
Pretending to be annoyed, Cal stated, โIโm still waiting to lodge that complaint.โ
Mindful of Benjiโs presence, I shot back, โIf youโre calling the leagueโs commissioner, can you forward him my petition to relocate all teams to warm beach cities?โ
Benji gave me a playful wink. โI like the way you think.โ Cal crossed his arms. โHow do you see that working out?โ
Sighing, I laid back on the massive pile of pillows. โSomething looking a lot like this?โ
โThat crosses off every major television market, including all of Canada.โ โSucks to be them.โ
A sharp whistle blew three times, and I heard a voice yell from a distance, โBerg, Mills, and Slate! Water breakโs over!โ
โGotta go, ladies!โ Benji called over his shoulder, jogging back to where the team was set up on the sand.
Jaxon couldnโt resist kissing Natalie once more. โDinner tonight?โ he asked.
โTable for four?โ I requested sweetly, batting my eyelashes at him. He pointed a finger at me. โYouโre trouble.โ
Cal got close enough to growl in my ear, โIโve got something I can feed you later, donโt you worry.โ His blue eyes darkened when he pulled back to find that his words had me clenching my thighs. Backing up slowly, he mouthed the word โLater,โ and I nearly came on the spot.
Natalie stared at me wide-eyed, a light blush on her cheeks. Once the boys were out of earshot, she whispered, โDamn, that was panty-melting hot.โ
I flashed her a lopsided grin. โYep. Iโm over here living the dream. About damn time.โ
After a few days in the sun in San Diego, the team entourage moved northward to Los Angeles to play the California Cougars. Unfortunately, their arena was located downtown, so it wasnโt logistically feasible to book us another hotel near the coast.
Lying in bed, wearing nothing but a sheet, I watched Cal get dressed for practice. Biting my lip, all I wanted to do was sink my teeth into that tight ass of his. I was pretty sure he could crack a walnut between those defined cheeks. He was covered in muscles from head to toe, but the lower half of his body was massiveโlegs as thick as tree trunks and a rounded butt were the result of decades spent training and skating.
โYouโre drooling,โ he remarked over his shoulder, pulling on a pair of athletic shorts.
โCan you blame me?โ I didnโt bother to hide the fact that I was openly ogling his perfect body.
Smirking, he threw on a Comets-branded dri-fit shirt before sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. Leaning over, he tugged the sheet down my body so that it pooled around my waist. Silently, he tugged my nipple between his teeth.
My head dropped back, and I moaned.
Releasing me, he stood, scanning my body with hunger in his eyes. โYou should get dressed.โ
Stretching my arms above my head, I fell back onto the pile of pillows. โI donโt think that I will. This bed is too comfy. Besides, you left me sore from last night. I think trashy daytime TV and room service are the perfect cure. You should fake an injury and play hooky. I could make it worth your while.โ I waggled my eyebrows for emphasis.
โTempting.โ Cal shook his head, used to my antics by now. โThereโs a car waiting for you downstairs. Get dressed. Take Natalie with you.โ
My brows drew down. โWhat are you talking about? Why is there a car waiting downstairs?โ
Bending down for one more kiss before he left, he whispered against my lips, โItโs a surprise.โ
Who was this man, and what had he done with my Cal? This feltโdare I say itโromantic.
Rising to his full height, Cal backed toward the door, reluctant to let me leave his sight. โI gotta go. Have a fun day with Nat.โ
Turning, he opened the door and left me in stunned silence. What was he up to?
โDid he say what kind of car to be on the lookout for?โ Natalie asked as we left the hotel lobby and descended the steps of the front entrance.
โNo. He just said a car.โ I frowned, scanning the circular drive, noting a black limo parked to the side but instantly dismissing it as our ride.
โCan I help you, miss?โ Turning, I discovered the bell captain, dressed smartly in his hotel uniform, approaching to assist us.
Sensing my apprehension, Natalie took the lead. โWeโre on the lookout for a car thatโs supposed to be waiting for us.โ
Smiling warmly at Natalie, the bell captain clasped his hands together. โOf course. Would it happen to be for a Miss Moreau?โ
Gesturing in my direction, she confirmed, โYes, thatโs my friend here.โ
Holding out an arm in the direction of the limo, he commanded, โFollow me.โ
Natalie looked back at me in shock. Yeah, I was right there with her. Cal had sent a limo for me? What the hell was going on?
Opening the door, the bell captain held out a gloved hand to help us into the limo. โMy name is Warren, if you ladies need anything on your return. Have a lovely day.โ
Thanking Warren in a daze, I sank down into the back of the limo, allowing him to close the door behind me.
โOh my God,โ Natalie whispered in my ear.
Smoothing my sweaty palms over the light-wash jeans covering my thighs, I didnโt know why I was so nervous. Maybe it was because this was so out of the ordinary in my relationship with Cal. Weโd breezed right past Valentineโs Day, and he had already told me not to make a big deal out of his birthday, which was coming up next week.
I was the one whoโd put a label on us, but it changed nothing. We had a casual thing going on. We couldnโt commit to anything more while we were in hiding.
Whatever this was, it felt anything but casual. He sent a freaking limo! โHello, ladies. Iโm Ethan, and Iโll be your driver today.โ The man sitting
up front didnโt even turn his head as he spoke, pulling out into LA traffic.
Sensing I was having a mental meltdown, Natalie responded, โNice to meet you, Ethan.โ Leaning forward, she hit the button on the privacy screen before turning back to me. โHoly shit, Hannah.โ
โUh-huh.โ I was at a loss for words.
โDid he give you any clue as to where we are going?โ Shaking my head was all I could manage. Twisting her lips in thought, she mused, โMaybe heโs sending us on a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive? How fun would that be?โ
โMaybe,โ I mumbled.
Reaching into the minibar, I blindly grabbed for the first thing I could get my hands on. It didnโt matter what typeโalcohol was needed at this moment. My fingers closed around the neck of a chilled bottle, and I pulled it out.
Natalieโs gasp startled me enough that I dropped it at my feet, hearing the dull thud as it met the carpet. โWhat?โ I asked in a panic. โAre you okay? Is it the baby?โ
Eyes as big as saucers, she shook her head. โIโm fine.โ โThen, what?โ Annoyance colored my tone.
Tilting her head toward the carpet, she said, โChampagne.โ
Clearly, I wasnโt the only one whose brain was fried because she wasnโt making any sense. โNat, you canโt have any. Youโre pregnant.โ
โNo, dummy. There was champagne in the cooler.โ
โAnd the sky is blue. Whatโs your point?โ I was this close to strangling her. Didnโt she know I was freaking out over here?
โWhat if heโs going to propose?โ Natalie breathed out.
That snapped me right out of whatever mental fog I was in. โYou shut your mouth right now!โ I yelled. โAre you out of your damn mind? This must be that baby brain my sisters always talk about.โ
โThink about it. A limo, champagne, a day out in LA? What if heโs waiting for you wherever we end up?โ
โNo.โ I shook my head. โNo,โ I said again more forcefully. โThat would be insane. To go from sneaking around to โwill you marry me?โ Think about how well that would go over with my dad.โ
Natalie shrugged. โI mean . . . he gave Jaxon slack because I was already pregnant when he found out about us. Maybe Cal is thinking that if youโre engaged, your dad wonโt have a choice but to accept it.โ
She had a point. That would force Dadโs hand. Seemed a little drastic, though. We werenโt in that place yet.
โI donโt know, Nat. Itโs only been a few months. The s*x is off-the-charts hot, and we like spending time together, but we would be skipping a crucial step. You canโt just gloss over โI love youโ and head straight to asking someone to marry you. It doesnโt work like that.โ
Humming, she nodded. โMaybe youโre right. But what else could it be?โ That was the question of the hour.
Before we could think up more possibilities, the limo stopped, and the door opened. Frozen in my seat, I gestured for Natalie to exit first. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to follow.
โHuh.โ Stepping out of the limo, I stood before a large building that resembled a warehouse.
Leaning over, Natalie whispered, โIf this is a proposal, I wonโt blame you if you give him a swift kick between the legs. This place looks like where you go to get murdered.โ
โAre you sure this is the right place?โ I asked Ethan.
โYes, maโam.โ He walked over to the large metal door to the building, holding it open for us.
Looking skyward, I breathed out, โHere goes nothing.โ
Stepping inside, a giant neon sign told us where we were: La Brea Recording.
My chest tightened, and breathing became difficult.
What did he do?
A pretty blonde receptionist smiled, greeting us. โWelcome to La Brea Recording. Can I please have your name?โ
I simply stared at her, and for the third time today, Natalie bailed me out. โAppointment for Hannah Moreau?โ
Tapping away on her desk computer, the receptionist nodded. โI have her right here. Follow me, please.โ
Natalie began to follow, but I was rooted to the spot. Noticing I wasnโt with her, Natalie walked back to take my hand.
I shook my head. โI canโt do this.โ
Squeezing my hand, she countered, โWe donโt even know what this is. Cal went out of his way to set this up. But if it makes you uncomfortable, we can leave at any time.โ
I was already uncomfortable, but she was right. Trudging slowly down the hall to where the blonde led us, we stopped at an open door. Smiling, she said, โGo on in. Theyโre waiting for you.โ
Oh, God. Who was waiting for me?
Pulling me reluctantly by the hand, Natalie entered the room first, with me right behind her. My anxiety hit a new high as I took in my surroundings. A glass wall split the giant recording studio in half, separating the control room featuring a massive soundboard from the live room where a microphone hung from the ceiling.
Two men sat in chairs in front of the soundboard. One stood, looking the part of someone in the music industry, wearing a leather jacket over a black T-shirt and ripped jeans. Shaggy brown hair fell in his eyes, and dark facial hair lined his jaw.
Holding a hand out, he introduced himself, โIโm Holden, and that over there is Eddie, my sound engineer.โ Holden motioned to the blond dressed similarly to himself, minus the jacket, so his double sleeves of tattoos were visible.
Taking his hand, I shook it. โIf Iโm being honest, Iโm not sure why Iโm here.โ
โA friend of mine called in a favor,โ he replied.
โCal is your friend?โ The surprises kept on coming.
Holden shoved both hands into the pockets of his jeans. โWe go way back. Believe it or not, I got my start running the music at sporting events in college. When I did hockey games, Cal would give me a list of songs that got the team pumped up, and we developed a friendship. So, when he called me to see if I could squeeze his girl in for a private session, how could I say no?โ
โPrivate,โ I repeated.
Nodding, Holden confirmed, โCal gave me a list of songs for you to sing covers of.โ Reaching back, he grabbed a piece of paper featuring the list he mentioned, and handed it to me. โHe said it was an early birthday present.โ
My anxiety fell away as I read it over. Every single song was one heโd heard me singing out loud in his penthouseโmost often when he caught me before I realized he was home.
Natalie peered over my shoulders. โOh my God, Hannah. Heโs in love with you.โ
Stunned, I turned to stare at her. โNo. Cal doesnโt do love. You know him.
Before me, there was a new girl in every city.โ
She shook her head. โListen to what you just said. Before you. He also never had a girlfriend before you. No guy does something this big if heโs not in love.โ
โI donโt know, Nat . . .โ
โYou got your chance to channel Amy on this trip. Itโs my turn. So let me do it.โ She put her hands on her hips.
Note to self: Natalie is a little feisty when sheโs pregnant.
โFine.โ I sighed.
โThis whole situation is new to you, and Iโve been where you are. When Jaxon fell into my life, I didnโt know what love looked likeโmy parents didnโt have a loving marriage, and what I shared with Leo was the furthest thing from it. It took me longer than I care to admit to see it for what it was. Jaxon showed his love through everyday actions, like baking cookies with the kids, tucking Beau into bed, and making sure I ate balanced meals. Itโs not always grand gestures, and if you donโt know what youโre looking for, it can sneak up on you. This right here? What Cal did today? Itโs a sign the size of a billboard that heโs in love with you.โ
The way Natalie laid it out made so much sense. Looking back on our time together, I could pinpoint the everyday actions that were quiet signs
that Cal might be in love with me.
The time he forced me to vent about my sisters, making sure I got it off my chest.
The time he went back to the Mexican restaurant when I forgot to tell him I liked my food a certain way.
The time he took care of me when I was sick, setting aside the risk of falling ill himself.
The time he held me when I cried, sharing his own insecurities so I knew I wasnโt alone.
Each instance added up, eventually culminating here in this recording studio.
The realization stole my breath away. Cal was in love with me. All that was left to do was figure out if I shared those feelings.
I now knew what love looked like from him, but what did it look like from me? Was I already in love but hadnโt realized because Iโd never loved anyone outside of friends and family?
I had a lot of self-reflection to do.
Smiling at my best friend, I admitted, โYou make a pretty good Amy.โ
Natalie smirked. โI donโt know how she pulls it off on a regular basis. Itโs exhausting.โ
We shared a laugh before she seated herself on the black leather couch against the wall in the control room. Carrying my set list, I crossed the threshold into the live room, making my way over to the microphone that was front and center.
Picking up the headphones, I slipped them over my ears, holding my hands over them to make sure this was real.
โReady when you are, Hannah.โ Holdenโs voice came through the headphones nice and clear.
โIโm ready.โ
Closing my eyes, I let the first notes of the song wash over me. There were no expectations, there was no pressure. It was me and the music. Just how I liked it.
Cal was so getting laid tonight.