As I enter the driveway of the house, I see
big surprise a silhouette sitting on the porch. But when I get closer, my astonishment redoubles when I see that it is Riley. I pick up my bag before slamming the door a little too hard.
Hi.
I thought you were going to run over me!
Sorry, I thought it was Damen, I said as I climbed the steps.
My sister bursts out laughing.
Ah good ! What did he do to you again?
I open the door without answering, motioning for him to follow me. Obviously I’m not going to go into details.
And you, what’s happening to you? Are you locked out?
Very funny !
We enter the kitchen, where she sits on a stool,
as I place my bag on the counter and inspect the contents of the fridge. She looks sullen. Would my bad mood be
contagious?
And if not, how are you?
With her chin in her hand, she stares at me attentively.
Great !
It does not look like.
I grab a bottle of water instead of the tub of ice cream I really want and lean against the granite countertop. I notice her tangled black hair and her somewhat worn Wonder Woman costume.
She just shrugs as she rocks on the stool, which sends chills down my spine, even though I know she’s not likely to fall or hurt herself.
So what are you going to do now? she asks
frowning with mock mirth. I mean, it’s every teenager’s dream, right? The house all to yourself, without a chaperone.
I swallow a sip of water. I’m dying to confide in her,
to reveal to him my secrets, the beautiful ones, the less beautiful ones, the horrible ones. It would do me a world of good if I could unload this weight, share it with someone. I suspect she spent half her life waiting to turn thirteen, each year bringing her closer to that coveted goal. So, I wonder if that’s not why she’s there. I deprived her of her dream, so that she is
reduced to experiencing it through me.
Sorry to disappoint you, Riley, but you know how much I’m
zero regarding the realization of teenage dreams. Remember the girl I was in Oregon? I say, blushing when I see her nodding. I had lots of friends at the time, and even a lover, not to mention the cheerleading team. It’s all over, all that. Screwed. Kaput. FINISHED. Imagine that both
comrades that I managed to make here hardly speak to each other anymore! Which means, unfortunately, the three of us barely speak to each other. And even if, through some unfathomable mystery, I managed to
finding a super sexy boyfriend, the reality is far from being as wonderful as it seems. Because when he’s not busy performing weird magic tricks or disappearing into thin air, he’s forcing me to skip class to go racing, or doing a bunch of other amazing things. gender. I’m sure he’s a bad influence on me.
I realize a little late that I should never have indulged in these confidences.
Fortunately, she doesn’t listen to me. Lost in her thoughts,
she stares at the granite of the bar, redrawing the rough edges with her finger. She ends up raising her head and looking at me with her big, immensely sad and dark eyes, which feels like a punch in the stomach.
Don’t get mad, but… I spent the day with Ava, said-
She. I don’t want to hear that. But I have no choice. Hands clenched on the counter, I prepare myself for what comes next.
I know you don’t like her, but she’s right about a lot of things, adds my sister. She really helped me think, you know, about the choices I made. And the more I think about it, the more I believe
that maybe she’s not wrong.
My throat is tight. This day which started so badly and continued even worse is turning into a nightmare. And it is still far from finished!
She’s not wrong about what?
Riley looks at me, then looks away, still tracing the contours of the bar with his fingertips.
Ava says I shouldn’t be there. That I’m not supposed to be there.
I hold my breath. I so wish she would stop talking and take back what she just said! There’s no way I’m going to lose it. Not now and not ever. She’s all I have left.
And what is your opinion? His fingers still.
I like being here. I’ll never be a real teenager, but I can at least experience it through you. By proxy, in a way.
So there, you couldn’t have found a worse example than me, that’s for sure! I say, laughing to lighten the mood, even if his words confirm my suspicions and increase my feeling of
guilt.
You surprise me ! she laughs. (But her laughter vanishes instantly.) What if she was right? Just imagine. That would mean I’m doing something wrong by spending my time here.
Riley…
A ring of the doorbell interrupts me and, less than a second later, my sister has disappeared.
Riley! I said, inspecting every corner of the kitchen. Riley! I pray she comes back. We can’t stop there. I refuse to do so. But no matter how much I shout, imploring him to come back, I speak into the void.
We ring again. One shot, then two. It’s Haven. I run to open it for him.
The guard let me pass, she said, rushing in. Her face is stained with tears and mascara, and her hair, which she has just dyed red, is shaggy.
They found Evangeline. She is dead.
No ? Are you sure ?
In the meantime, Damen pulls into the driveway and gets in
up the stairs two at a time as I close the door.
Evangeline is dead…
I am so shocked by this news that I forget my decision to hate him.
How are you ? he asks Haven worriedly.
Pretty much, she replies, wiping her eyes. I don’t
didn’t know each other very well, we went to a few parties together, that’s all. But still. It’s so atrocious! And if it turns out, I was the last one to see her alive…
The last one, certainly not…
I remain taken aback. I don’t know if he was trying to make a sinister joke, but he looks serious, with a lost look in his eyes.
It’s that… I feel responsible, it’s too horrible,
she adds in a small voice before getting stuck in her head.
hands repeating It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not true,
again and again.
I try to comfort her as best I can.
I… I came to warn you, but I can’t stay.
I have to come see Drina, she gasps, turning her car keys between her fingers.
My anger reignites, and I glare at Damen, friendship
between Haven and Drina may seem coincidental, but I’m sure it’s not and can’t help but think it’s all connected.
But Damen does not respond. He grabs Haven’s arm and examines her tattoo.
Where did you do this?
He contains himself, but I can sense the panic in his voice, and
he doesn’t immediately let go while Haven, visibly annoyed, shakes her arm to free herself, hiding her tattoo with the other hand.
It’s nothing. Drina gave me something to wear
on it, a balm. She told me it should work within three days. Damen’s jaws are so clenched that his teeth are grinding.
You don’t happen to have this balm on you? She shakes her head and walks towards the door.
No, I left it at home. And then what does it matter to you? Do you have any other stupid questions? she continues, looking at us in turn. (His aura blazes like a blazing fire.) I don’t appreciate this kind of interrogation at all. I’m here because I thought you might want to know about
Evangeline. But since it seems all you’re interested in is squinting at my tattoo and asking stupid questions, I’d better get going.
With that, she storms out.
I call to her, but she doesn’t turn around. I wonder what
happened to him. She has become completely moody, distant, and I realize that we have lost our complicity for some time. Since she met Drina, she hasn’t been herself, I don’t recognize her anymore.
I watch her get in her car, slam the door and
leave the aisle. So I turn to Damen, arms crossed across his chest.
It’s really awesome. Evangeline is dead, Haven hates me, and you left me alone in a cave. I hope at least your waves were sensational.
Well yes, if you want to know everything. Then I returned
in the cave and, as you had left, I came directly here.
I look at him, eyebrows furrowed, lips tight. How does he hope to make me swallow these enormities?
Sorry, but I searched everywhere. I only saw two
surfers. Two blond guys. So I’m pretty sure it wasn’t you.
Ever, look at me. Really look at me. Why do you think I’m in this state?
I comply and examine him from head to toe. I detail his surf suit and the drops of salt water dripping onto the tiles.
But I really looked everywhere. I walked the length and breadth of the beach.
I know what I saw. Or rather what I didn’t see. He just shrugs his shoulders.
I don’t know what to tell you, Ever, but I haven’t abandoned you. I really went surfing. And that’s all. Could you lend me a towel, please, and maybe also a mop to wipe the floor?
We go out onto the terrace so he can rinse his suit with the garden hose, while I watch him, sitting on the deck chair. I was so sure he had left me
plan ! I really looked everywhere. And if I hadn’t actually seen it
? After all, the beach is huge. And I was really, really upset.
I watch him place his suit on the outside bar, determined not to let him get away with it.
And how did you know about Evangeline? And
could you also explain to me what’s going on between Haven and Drina? Not to mention that horrible tattoo? And finally, tell yourself that I’m not at all sure I believe your surfing story. Because, you see, I searched everywhere and you were nowhere.
He stares at me, his lean, muscular body draped in the towel, his dark eyes obscured by the long eyelashes that line them. He
walks forward with his feline gait, sits down next to me and takes both my hands in his, then immediately lets go of them.
It’s my fault, I don’t know to what extent… (He stops, and when he decides to look up at me, I read a
immeasurable sadness.) Maybe we shouldn’t…
You… Are you telling me that you’re leaving me?
I have difficulty speaking. It seems like I’m deflating like a punctured balloon. He just confirmed my suspicions: Drina, the beach, everything…
No, it’s just…
He turns his head away, leaving his sentence – and me – hanging.
I understand that he won’t say more. I am furious. I am waiting for him to confirm to me that these events have a complete explanation.
simple and are not related. Even if, deep down, I am sure of the opposite.
You know what ? I wish you would stop speaking in riddles, finish your sentences, for a change, and finally explain to me what’s going on! All I know is
that Evangeline is dead, that Haven has a broken wrist, that you ran away like a thief to the beach because I didn’t want to go through with it, and that now you want us to separate . He becomes absorbed in contemplation of the swimming pool.
It has nothing to do with it, he finally said.
He hesitated so much that I’m not sure I believed him. He takes a deep breath before continuing.
Evangeline’s body was found in Malibu Canyon.
I was in my car driving to your house when I heard the news on the radio.
His voice becomes more confident as he speaks, and he seems to relax and regain his confidence.
Sure enough, Haven’s wrist looks infected, but it
are things that happen.
He holds my gaze, and I hold my breath waiting for the next part, the part that concerns me. But he places his hand on mine and turns it to stroke my palm.
Drina has a strong personality and a lot of charm. As for Haven, she’s a little lost. I’m sure she’s flattered to catch Drina’s attention. I thought you would be happy
Let her get attached to her and forget about me a little,” he adds, gently squeezing my hand. This way there would be no more obstacles
between us.
But something separates us, ultimately?
I know I’d be better off worrying about Haven’s wrist and Evangeline’s death, but I can only concentrate.
on Damen’s face, his dark, smooth skin, his inscrutable eyes, the beating of my heart, the pulsations of my blood in my veins, my lips swollen, waiting for his.
He grabs my face in his hands and whispers, just before placing a kiss on my mouth:
Ever, I didn’t let you down. And I will never push you to do anything against your will. Believe me. I know how to wait.
