After knocking on Ryan and Indy’s door, Rio is the one to answer. “I thought this was a girls’ night?”
He pops his shoulders. “It is.”
“Are Ryan and Zee out of town?”
“Yeah, they’re in Indiana for the night, picking up a crib that Zee’s dad saved for him.”
Following Rio inside, I find a very drunk and very goofy Miller lying on the ground of the living room, laughing with Indy and Kennedy.
I lean my shoulder on the doorway. “Stone-cold sober, huh?”
She finds me and that smile on her lips only grows. “You’re so hot.” “Okay,” I laugh. “Let’s get your drunk ass home.” Bending down, I
scoop her up and hoist her over my shoulder. “Ind, I’m blaming this on you!”
“That’s fine! Miller, let’s do it again.”
Miller lifts her head from my back and points at her. “Yes!” “Ken, you okay to walk?”
Rio steps up. “Because if not, I can help with that.”
“Rio, I love you, man, but Kennedy would eat you alive.” He shrugs. “That sounds nice.”
Kennedy wraps her long red hair into a bun on top of her head as she follows me out of the house. “I’m a big fan of you guys!” she calls over her shoulder.
“Same here, sis!” Indy shouts.
Damn, drunk girls really do become best friends by existing in the same room.
Kennedy gets herself in the back seat of my truck while I get Miller in the passenger side. Reaching over her body, I click the seat belt into place.
She runs a palm over my face, drunk and so touchy because of it. “Yes?” I ask.
“I like you.”
A laugh rumbles in my chest. “I like you too, Mills.” “Will you kiss me?”
“You don’t want me to kiss you casually, remember?” “I changed my mind.”
Maybe she did. Maybe she didn’t. But there’s not a world in which Miller Montgomery could ask me to kiss her and I would deny her.
With my hand still on the buckle, I lean in, nudging my nose against hers. She smiles and as soon as her lips curve, I press mine to hers, stealing the grin right off her face. A sweet little mewl rumbles in her throat so I kiss her for a moment longer before pulling away.
She licks her lips, grinning again before she rests her head back on the headrest. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby.” I simply shake my head at her with a laugh, close the door, and round the side to the driver’s seat.
After going through the McDonald’s drive thru and spending more money there than I thought was possible, the girls sober up a bit, and when we get back to the house, Kennedy is the first to walk inside.
“You’re kidding me,” she says while Miller and I are still on the front porch.
“You didn’t tell her Isaiah was staying here, huh?” Miller groans. “I completely forgot.”
Entering the house I close the door behind us, only to find my brother looking like the biggest fucking dork sitting in the living room with a giant grin on his face. “I didn’t know you were staying here too.”
Kennedy rolls her eyes. “I never would have agreed to it if I knew you were here.”
Isaiah holds a hand over his heart. “You always know just what to say to make me fall, Kenny.”
I know how hard Kennedy has worked to be taken seriously. There’s not a guy on the team who doesn’t think she’s the best athletic trainer we have, but my brother can’t not flirt with her even if his life depended on it.
“Kennedy, do you want me to drive you back to the city?” I offer. “I can take you home if you don’t want to stay here.”
She turns back to analyze my brother. “No, it’s fine. Just don’t be weird about it, okay?”
Isaiah perks up. “So, it looks like we’re sharing the guest room. I’m a cuddler, Ken, and I prefer to be the little spoon.”
“I just asked you not to be weird about it.”
I gesture to the back door. “Isaiah, you’re in Miller’s van outside.” Kennedy’s face splits in a victorious smile.
“Fine.” My brother punctuates the word. “But I’m making you breakfast in the morning, and you’re going to like it. How do you like your eggs?”
“Poached. Soft.”
“Wonderful,” he deadpans. “I guess I’ll go watch some YouTube videos on how to do that because I have no fucking clue how to poach an egg, but I can promise you, they’re going to be perfect. So, good luck not falling in love with me tomorrow, Kennedy Kay!”
Isaiah takes off to the backyard, rattling the house as he slides the door closed.
Kennedy turns back to us with a smile. “The guest room is this way?” “First door on your right. Bathroom is across the hall.”
“Does your brother actually like her?” Miller quietly asks once her friend is out of earshot. “I can’t tell if he’s joking half the time or not.”
“Oh, he likes her. He only acts this fucking weird when he’s got a crush.” I slide my fingers between Miller’s, pulling her down the hall to my room. “Come with me.”
Opening the door, I let her wander in first. She takes her time looking around, never having been in here before. Her rules of our fling haven’t let us share a bed until that night in San Francisco when Max was sick. When we’re home, we have fun in her room and I tuck her into bed before coming back in here to sleep alone.
There’s not much to my bedroom. A dresser. An en-suite bathroom. A baby monitor and a picture of Max on the nightstand next to my bed.
There are a few more framed photos on my dresser. One of Isaiah and me the first time we played against each other in the majors, a few pictures of us as kids, and some with us and our mom. Then there’s one of only her.
Miller goes right to it, picking it up off the dresser, and I can physically see her sobering up as she looks at it. “She’s beautiful.”
“She was.”
“Mae, right?”
I nod, standing by the door and keeping my hands behind my back, beyond tempted to reach out and touch her. She looks good in here. In my
room. In my home.
Miller puts the frame back, gently running her hands over the other pictures and taking her time looking at them all. “It’s always been just you and Isaiah, huh?”
“Since she died, yes.”
Her attention moves back to me. “You’re a good brother to him. Raising him the way you did. Sacrificing your childhood and college choice to stay close to home.”
“He’s my brother. I’d do anything for him.”
She smiles softly. “Just how you’d do anything for Max.” “And you.”
Her eyes flick to mine and a shy blush warms her cheeks. She’s not one to be shy, but the girl is drunk and I’m seeing a whole new open side to her tonight because of it.
“I’d do anything for you,” I repeat. “You know that?” “I think I’d do anything for you too.”
I’m not showing it on my face, but if I were to wear the expression my heart is feeling right now, I’d be grinning like an idiot.
She continues to look at the framed photos of my family. “Did you ever have anyone to talk to about everything you were going through? Losing your mom so young then having to raise both yourself and your brother?”
She might not know what she’s doing, but tipsy Miller saying whatever she likes is cracking my heart wide fucking open, when I’ve been telling myself for weeks to keep it guarded with her as best I can.
When I don’t respond, she looks back at me standing by the door. I shake my head to tell her no.
“You can talk to me, you know.”
“I know I can, but for how long? You leave in less than a week.”
Miller’s soft smile slightly falls before she turns back to my room, ignoring my question and continuing her tour. “You don’t have a TV in here.”
Worried I ruined the vibe, I pop off the door, coming up behind her and snaking my arms around her waist, lips dotting the skin of her neck. “A TV is a distraction. When you’re in here, your attention should be on sleeping or on me.”
She chuckles, her head falling back to my chest. So drunk and so in need of sleep.
“Go brush your teeth and get ready so I can put your ass to bed.”
She stumbles her way to the bathroom and only a moment later, she pops her head out. “All my skin care is in here. And my toothbrush.”
“It is.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve got only a few days left here and I’m done with your no-sleepover rule.”
She looks back at her things then returns her attention to me. “That rule did kind of suck, huh?”
“All your rules suck, Mills.”
She returns to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I can hear her brushing her teeth, the sound of the running water accompanied by her drunken humming. And when she comes back into my room, she’s still wearing her clothes with today’s make-up still on her face.
Miller sort of melts into the doorframe, watching me as I pull off my T- shirt, shoes, and pants, leaving me in only my boxer briefs.
“You’re staring,” I remind her. “I am.”
“You gonna change?”
“I need something to sleep in.” “Naked works for me.”
“Works for me too, but I will jump your fucking bones if I’m left naked, Malakai, and you’re the one who doesn’t want to take advantage of me.”
I shake my head at her—I always shake my head at her, but what’s different now than the beginning of summer is I can’t help but smile at her as I do.
I grab my previously worn shirt off the bed and toss it in her direction. She strips, slipping my shirt over her head, swimming in it as it hangs mid- thigh.
Perfect, really.
She sways a bit on her feet as she stands in the doorway of the bathroom. “Do you want help taking off your make-up?” I ask.
“Yes, please.”
Turning her around, I usher her back into the bathroom. Her skin care is still lined up on the sink just as I left it earlier today, trying to replicate the way she had it in the guest bathroom. Lifting her to sit on the counter, I stand between her spread legs.
“You’re going to have to tell me what to do.”
She points to a bottle of clear liquid. “That goes on a cotton round.” I do as she says, squirting some onto one of her cotton pads.
Miller closes her eyes. “That’ll take off the majority. Just wipe it off.”
Hesitantly, I wipe at her cheek because that seems like a safe bet. A swipe of color comes off on the pad, so with a bit more confidence, I run it over her eyebrow and get a swipe of brown. I gently run it over her eyes as her mascara melts away, and I clean up as much as I can without leaving her looking too much like a raccoon. Then, I repeat the same to the other side.
“What next?”
She grabs another bottle, squeezing a pea size on my fingertip. “Just move that everywhere.” She makes a motion with her hands, but that seems kind of rough, so instead I carefully swipe it across her jaw, using my fingertips to rub delicate circles until it starts to sud.
Miller is wearing a goofy smile as I work, and I can tell she wants to give me shit for this taking so long, but I ignore her and continue, making sure to get all the way to the edges of her face.
We go through the rest of her skin care routine, finishing with moisturizer, as she calls it, and when I put some on her skin, she takes some and rubs it on mine.
“For your mature skin,” she says with a chuckle, swiping it over my face before dropping her hands to either side of my neck. “I missed you and Max tonight.”
Fucking hell. She’s got to stop, but I have a feeling she won’t because she’s buzzing with alcohol and her lips are real loose because of it.
“We missed you too.” I rub the light purple cream onto her face. “Did you have fun?”
She nods with a childish smile. “I like those girls, and I like Kennedy. A lot.”
“Good. I’m glad you two are becoming friends. I’m sure it’s nice for her to finally have another woman traveling with us.”
“Yeah, and it’s nice to talk to someone when my head is a mess over you.”
My chest rumbles in a laugh. “Your head is a mess over me, huh, Mills?
I’m flattered.”
“You should be.”
When I’m done with her skin care, Miller wraps her hair in a knot, trying to secure a hair tie around it, but the girl is still drunk as a skunk.
“Let me have that.” Taking the tie from her, I gather her hair in my fists, much in a way I’ve done a time or two before, as I make something resembling a bun, wrapping the hair tie around it twice.
Miller checks the mirror. “That looks terrible, Ace.” I smile at her. It does look terrible.
Her eyes find mine in the reflection. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.”
“Cuddle with me?”
“I’m sorry, but did you just say cuddle?” I touch her forehead with the back of my hand. “What the hell did you drink tonight?”
“Shut up.” She wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders as I carry her back into my room. Once I’ve gotten the drunk girl in bed and the lights off, I remove my glasses and crawl in with her. Opening my arm out wide, Miller lifts her head, cradling herself against my chest like some kind of seasoned cuddler.
We don’t talk. We simply lay together and I’m almost certain she’s fallen asleep until she speaks into the silence.
“Tonight, I told the girls that sometimes I think about not going back to work.”
I swear time stands still as those words leave her lips. My eyes shoot open, staring at the darkness, and replaying her words to make sure I heard them right.
I swallow. “Why do you say that?” “I don’t want to leave Max.”
Goddamn, my heart is thundering against my chest, sharp pricks burning my eyes because this girl loves my boy so fiercely. It’s something I wasn’t sure would ever happen, to have someone else love my child in the way I hoped they would.
“But I have to go back,” she continues.
Biting my tongue, I wait until I can find the right response. “Yeah,” I exhale. “You do.”
She tilts her head to look at me. “I do?”
“It’s your dream, Mills. I won’t let you walk away from that because of my son.”
Or because of me.
She settles her head back into my chest. “The pressure to perform, to live up to the expectations, is scary. There’s a part of me that battles with wondering if I’m worthy of those expectations, you know?”
“Pressure is a privilege, Miller. Expectations are high because you’re successful. If you were average, no one would be waiting on bated breaths for you. I think about that every night I take the mound. You just have to decide if your dreams and goals are worth the pressure. If you want to live up to the expectations set for you.”
“I do. I want to be the best.” “Then do it.”
That seems like the appropriate amount of encouragement for a result I’m absolutely dreading, so in a moment of selfishness I ask, “Does your career make you happy?”
She waits, flipping to look up to the ceiling, lacing her fingers with mine. “No.”
Grinding my molars, I try my best to keep calm. There’s a weird contradiction happening, me wanting her to find happiness, but in a way, glad that the thing that will take her away from me isn’t it. But what the hell am I supposed to say? Encourage her drunken ramblings because her staying is exactly what I want her to do?
I promised her dad I wouldn’t do that.
She’s having fun this summer, which is the only reason she’s questioning her job. Out of sight. Out of mind. That’s all this is.
She’ll remember it’s what she wants as soon as she leaves here. Leaves me.
“But I don’t know if it’s about being happy,” she continues. “I want to prove that I can do it. I want to prove that I’m worth the award I won. I want to prove that I’m doing something that justifies the fact my dad gave up his entire life for me.”
And there it is. “Miller—”
“Don’t tell him I said that.”
“Love isn’t earned. Monty gave up his career because he loves you unconditionally. You don’t have to pay him back by chasing accolades. That’s not how it works.”
“You don’t get it, Kai. He gave up his entire life for me and he barely knew me. It’s why I don’t want you to retire yet. I don’t want Max to feel
like a burden the way I did.”
“Miller.” My tone is a bit sharp, mostly because I don’t like her talking about herself in that way. “I can’t think of a single person who would feel burdened by having you in their life.”
“You did. When I first got here.”
“Well, I changed my mind. Now I just feel lucky.”
She doesn’t have anything to say to that, so silence stretches between us for a long while.
“If I quit, I’d feel like a failure.” Miller’s voice shockingly cracks a bit, so I pull her into me, allowing her to speak her mind, drunkenly or not. “I thought I just needed a break this summer to get my groove back, but it doesn’t simply feel like burnout anymore. It feels like I’ve spent my whole life chasing a career that I’m realizing, regardless of the awards and the prestige, isn’t all that fulfilling. And over the last seven weeks I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been, chasing Max around, spending time with my dad, being with you.”
“Mills, you’re twenty-five. You could change directions a hundred more times in your life, and you’d still never be a failure. You’re too hard of a worker to ever be considered a failure. Life is meant to be spent chasing happiness.”
She pauses and when she speaks again, it’s simply a hiccup and the words, “I’m almost twenty-six.”
I crane my neck to look down at her. “Define almost.” “I’ll be twenty-six this week.”
“Miller, when exactly is your birthday?” “Saturday.”
Four days. Her birthday is in four days.
“Why didn’t you tell me? That’s the day before you leave.”
She shrugs against me. “I’ve never really had anyone to tell, I guess.” God, I know that sentiment all too well.
I pull her in closer. We’re more alike than I ever thought possible. We’ve gone through our adult lives alone. Me because of the cards I was dealt and Miller because she has a hard time growing attachments when she bounces from city to city.
“Do you want more kids?” she asks, and the sudden change of subject startles me awake.
“Jesus. How drunk are you?”
“Just a little tipsy. That Big Mac really soaked it all up. Answer my question, Rhodes. Do you want more babies?”
If she would’ve asked me this back in June, the answer would have been a resounding no. Mostly because I didn’t think I was doing a very good job with the one I already have, but spending the last seven weeks feeling like a family with the girl by my side has changed my view on it all.
If it were with her, the answer would be, “Yeah, I do.” She flips onto her belly, laying on me. “Yeah?”
“Yes. But next time, I’ll be there for it all. I’ll never miss six months again.”
She crosses her arms over my chest, resting her chin there. “You deserve that. You also make really pretty babies, so you should keep doing that.”
Chuckling, I tuck away the hairs that are falling out of her bun. “Do you want kids one day?”
“I never thought about it before, if I’m being honest. I’ve always been focused on the next goal, the next career move, and families aren’t exactly conducive to high-end restaurant life. But if my life was different, I could see it. As long as they were exactly like Max.”
My smile is soft. “He’s a good one.”
“The best one,” she says with a sigh. “Kai?” “Yeah?”
“Can we forget about some of my rules? For the rest of the week while I’m here? I just want to know what it’d feel like.”
“You want to know how what feels like?” “To be yours.”
Watching her, I search for any sign she might take those words back when she’s sober, but Miller’s eyes are clear and bright. So, I lean down and press my lips to hers, kissing her in a way that isn’t related to sex. Kissing her in a way that feels attached and full of strings because that’s exactly what I am when it comes to her.
“Mills, you already are mine. Even if I haven’t been allowed to show you, you’ve always been mine.”
She settles back onto my chest. “Until Sunday. That rule has to stay.”
That rule is the most frustrating one, but what am I going to do? Beg her to want me outside of this summer fling? Ask her to give up on her dreams to play house with me and my son forever?
She’s too free, too wild to be tied down to me. She’s too talented for me to ask that of her.
“Miller?”
She hums in sleepy acknowledgment. “Today was a good day.”
She smiles against my chest. “They could all be good days.” At least until Sunday.
Blinking awake, I find Miller’s hair covering my face. Her ass is nestled into the cradle of my hips, her thick thighs melded to mine.
I lift to look at her.
She’s still sleeping on my numb arm, fingers linked through mine. She’s peaceful, warm, and looks like she belongs here, in my bed. I haven’t had the privilege to wake up with only her since we became more, and somehow, I need to figure out how to make our next four mornings, our only four, last me a lifetime.
I kiss her inked arm, running my lips over the black floral lines, and for someone who lives so unattached, I’m surprised she was able to commit to something so permanent.
She stretches against me, her ass rubbing against the obvious morning erection I’ve got. “Good morning.”
Her voice is even raspier than usual and it has my already hard dick standing at attention.
I pull her body closer. “Morning, Mills.”
She’s putty against me, still sleepy and so fucking pretty.
Languidly, she writhes against me, still waking up, but I can tell by the way she’s moving she woke up turned on.
“I had a dream last night,” she says. “Well, it was kind of a nightmare.” “Oh yeah?” I kiss the skin under her ear, my hand dipping under the hem
of my shirt she’s wearing. “Tell me all about it.”
“I was in bed with a giant baseball player. Wears glasses. Tattoo on his thigh.”
My palm drifts to her bare tits, running over the pebbled skin. “He sounds attractive.”
“He was, but when I asked him to take advantage of me, he turned me down.”
She rolls her ass against my cock, and I pull her tighter against me to do it again.
“What a dick. Clearly, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“Clearly.” Her voice is breathy, and a moan laces her words when I tweak her nipple. “So I think it’s only fair if you take advantage of me this morning to make up for that guy. Really stick it to him by sticking it in me, you know?”
I chuckle against her, my fingers tracing delicate circles over her stomach, running my palm over her smooth skin. “Is that what you want, baby?” I dip lower, my fingertips trailing over the top of her panties. “You want me to fuck you in my bed? You want to know what I’d be like if I got to wake up to you every morning?”
A little moan escapes her as she nods frantically, her thighs rubbing together as I toy with the hem of her underwear.
“You want to regret spending the last seven weeks sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine?”
“Yes.” It’s barely a puff of air, already so turned on simply from waking up.
The tip of my pinky slips under her waistband, running along the smooth, warm skin there before pulling out.
“Please,” she begs, writhing on the mattress next to me and pushing her ass back into me. “Please, Kai. Don’t tease me.”
“Don’t tease you, huh?” I nip at her earlobe, dipping my hand into her panties, my fingers grazing over her pussy. “Why not, when it makes you this fucking wet?”
She’s soaked, dripping on my fingers already.
“Please.” This time she bends to pull her panties down, kicking them off with her feet, and leaving her in only my shirt.
“You’re so polite in the morning.” Reaching behind me, I pull a condom out of my nightstand drawer, and as quickly as possible, I drop my briefs to sheath my cock in the latex.
“You want me to fuck you like this?” I ask, pulling her back to my chest. She lifts her leg without hesitation.
“Fuck, Miller.” Grabbing my cock, I run it over her core, coating the condom in her arousal before tapping it against her clit. “Honestly, this makes me hate your rules even more that we haven’t been doing this every morning since you got here.”
She rumbles the prettiest little whine. “Well, to be fair, you thought I was a lunatic when I first got here.”
“Sorry to break it to you, but I still think that.”
She chuckles, but her laughter dies, turning into a gasp as I wrap my arm around her leg, lifting her knee to her chest to give myself better access. I notch the head of my cock against her opening before pushing inside.
Groaning, I fill her. “How are you so fucking tight? And so goddamn wet.”
We lay together, me inside of her but not moving other than our erratic breathing.
“I do a lot of pussy exercises, so that’s probably it. Gotta keep her in shape.”
I laugh into her hair. “Please, for the love of God, shut up.”
She presses her ass into me, willing me to move and I do, thrusting into her from behind. I keep my arm under her, holding her to me, my other hand circling her clit as we find a rhythm.
“You’re so perfect, Miller,” I whisper into her ear. “So mine.” Her throat rumbles in the sexiest, most agreeable moan.
“You like hearing that?” “Yes,” she exhales.
“You’re mine, baby.”
She moves against me quicker so I pick up the pace, fingering her clit with a faster tempo.
I know the words are moot to her, simply thrown out in the heat of the moment, but to me, they’re the most truthful words I can say.
If she’d let me have her, she’d be mine. I love the girl, and I try to show her through my actions, but if she ever gave me the green light, I’d tell her too.
“Kai,” she cries, her body contracting. “I’m—”
She can’t say anything else before her orgasm racks through her, always so fucking pretty when she comes. I want to commit the image to memory, every shudder, every moan. Knowing it’s all I’ll have of her in just a few days.
I continue to move inside of her, her pussy squeezing me as she comes apart.
“Are you close?” she asks as her chest expands with desperate inhales and exhales.
My breathing is labored too as I continue to thrust into her, loving how fucking warm she is and wishing this condom wasn’t in the way so I could feel all of her. I haven’t wanted to be that intimate with a woman before, and I especially haven’t wanted that risk since Max came along. But with Miller, I find myself wanting everything.
“Can I taste you?” she asks.
I pause my movements, my cock throbbing and needy inside of her. “What?”
“I want you to fuck my mouth while you’re kneeling over me.”
Jesus Christ, this girl.
Pulling out of her, Miller sits up to take her shirt off, leaving her naked in my bed with her pussy still fluttering on my fingers from her orgasm. She situates herself back on the pillow, close to the headboard with an all too excited smile on her lips.
How the hell is this my life? I’ve come to ask myself that every single day.
That smirk of hers turns dark as she watches me remove the condom, tossing it aside before I climb over her, my knees on either side of her face, trapping her below me.
I raise a brow. “Are you sure about this?”
Her tongue darts out, licking the tip of my cock, nodding with excitement like the little minx she is.
“Goddamn,” I exhale, shaking my head in disbelief. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”
Her smile lifts. “As you should be, Malakai.” I nod downward. “Put your mouth on it.”
She guides my cock into her mouth, and I use the headboard for leverage, fucking her face just as she asked me to. Miller moans around me as if this is the hottest thing to ever happen and when I look back over my shoulder, she’s got her thighs rubbing together, already needy to come again.
It was only a few months ago I was exhausted, wrung out, and on the brink of quitting my job just to get me through the day. And now, I’ve got the sexiest woman I’ve ever met below me who’s not only a champ in the bed but has also brought so much light and fun back into my life.
I truly don’t know how I got so fucking lucky to have her attention on me, but I’d do just about anything at this point to keep it.
