As soon as my brother is settled in my room, I softly close the hotel door behind me, hoping not to wake Max. I almost knocked on the door between my room and Millerโs to ask her to watch him for one more hour before calling it a night, but when I had gotten back from my game, she was nose deep in her cookbooks and laptop, searching for inspiration, Iโm sure.
Last week, after she told me about her job, I googled her name. Surprisingly, I hadnโt done that before. I suppose because sheโs Montyโs daughter and I already knew she was more than I could handle, I didnโt think there was much more for me to find.
I was wrong.
The Internet was littered with her name.ย Impressiveย isnโt a strong enough word to describe Miller Montgomeryโs career. Her accomplishments are unheard of for someone her age. Sheโs been featured in articles, won prestigious awards, worked under some of the biggest names in her industry before becoming one herself. But it was the pictures that shocked me more than anything. Her in a crisp white chefโs coat, hair in a slicked back bun. No nose ring, tattoos covered. She was hardly recognizable from the girl I met in the elevator just weeks ago.
She shows up every day in a different pair of overalls, typically with her feet bare, but after seeing her professional side online, thereโs a part of me that feels privileged that Max and I get the lesser-known side of Miller, no matter how wild it may be.
She likes my son. My son likes her, and that makesย meย like her just a bit more.
After my last start on the road, I lied about not needing to cool down from the game. This time, I canโt. I pitched into the seventh inning tonight and my shoulder is screaming. I doubt Iโll be able to pick up Max with my throwing arm tomorrow.
Heading to the top floor of our hotel in Houston, I grab a couple of towels and make my way outside to the rooftop pool, needing to get a few laps in to cool down my muscles. Itโs late, after midnight, and the pool is closed to the public, but itโs never stopped me before. I live for the peace of a solo swim after a game.
Only tonight, Iโm not alone.
Steam from the neighboring hot tub rises behind her, but she sits with her feet dangling in the pool. Itโs a warm July night, and the summer moon provides just enough light to outline her. Miller in a two-piece suit. A strapless forest green piece of fabric covers her chest, and her bottoms are pulled up so high over her hips, every inch of her thighs that I like so much are exposed.
Sheโs fucking stunning, all earth tones and tattooed skin glistening under the moonlight.
Opening the gate, I make plenty of noise so she knows sheโs no longer alone.
โBreaking and entering, Rhodes? Not very responsible of you.โ โMaybe Iโve got a wild streak you donโt know about.โ
She chuckles a hearty laugh. โYeah. Okay.โ
Little does she know, pre-dad Kai was as wild as her.
โI figured youโd be in your room looking for inspiration in one of those cookbooks youโre traveling with.โ
She nods towards the summer moon sitting just above the city line in the distance. โThis feels pretty inspirational.โ
Sheโs not wrong. Itโs stunning out here.
Both the view and the girl I shouldnโt be looking at.
I drop my towels onto a nearby lounge chair and in my periphery, I watch Miller as she begins to stand, pulling her legs out of the water, my eyes wandering every inch of that wet skin.
โWhere are you going?โ
She gestures to the hotel. โGiving you the pool. I figured youโd want it to yourself.โ
โYou should stay.โ
Okay . . . I have no idea why I suggested that.
She hesitates, but doesnโt answer me. Simply retakes her seat, her red- painted toes dipping back into the water.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I toss it on the chair before adjusting the waistband on my trunks. I catch Millerโs greens taking their time tracking every ridge of my stomach and chest from across the pool, only the glow of the lights under the water allowing me to see it happen.
Itโs been so long. So fucking long since Iโve noticed a womanโs attention on me. So long since Iโve been looked at in a way that makes me feel like a man and not just someoneโs dad. I preen under her gaze, my chest expanding from the attention.
โYou have tattoos.โ Itโs a statement, but her voice holds a bit of surprise in the tone.
Looking down at my ribs and thigh, I note the ink sheโs studying. โI always thought you were judging me for mine.โ
Fuck.ย Was I? Maybe I did, but it wasnโt that she had tattoos or a septum ring or anything about the way she looked. I assumed if a woman were to ever watch my son, sheโd be a sweet old lady with a knack for crafts and gardening. I didnโt expect a foul-mouthed firecracker whoโs also a badass in the kitchen.
โNah. I like yours. They suit you.โ Millerโs lips tick.
โDrinking at 9 a.m., though? I was judging you for that.โ
She chuckles and her raspy laugh is the last thing I hear before I dive headfirst into the deep end of the pool. I swim across the length to the shallow end where she sits before popping out of the water to find myself a foot or so in front of her, raking a hand through my hair to move it from my face.
โDear God, Kai. No wonder you have a kid. Just looking at you like this would get any woman pregnant.โ
I huff a laugh. โLetโs not joke about anyone getting pregnant again, please. Iโm doing a terrible job raising one. I couldnโt handle another.โ
She sits up straighter. โWhat are you talking about?โ
Itโs too late to get into that conversation. Iโm too tired. Too sore. My mind is too exhausted to think of anything other than loosening my shoulder and falling into bed. Iโll have to be up with Max in a handful of hours, but Millerโs dark green bathing suit, wet and suctioned to every crevice of her body, has me eager to pull an all-nighter just to stare at her.
Montyโs daughter. Montyโs stunning-as-fuck daughter.
With that, I duck under the water and swim the length of the pool again, stretching out my shoulder and hoping the distance between us will help me forget how beautiful that woman is.
But with my eyes closed, sheโs all I can see, and when I come back up for air on the shallow side and find her sitting there, leaning back on her palms, I know the image wonโt be leaving my mind for far too long.
โYou should know by now that ignoring me isnโt going to make me forget, Kai.โ Her tone is even, confident. โYouโre a fantastic dad. And if someone needs to tell you, Iโll be the one to do it.โ
I donโt believe her, but thereโs no point in arguing. โThank you.โ โWhoโs watching him right now?โ
โIsaiah.โ
โWhereโs his mom?โ
A startled laugh escapes me and I slip under the water for a moment to gain my bearings. โItโs a little late for that talk, donโt you think?โ is what I say when I come back up.
โNope. I think itโs the perfect time.โ
I turn away from her, pacing and pushing my way through the water. The view is stunning from up here, the entirety of the city below us. The night is warm, the water is calming, and this almost naked woman has my lips feeling real loose.
โSeattle, Iโd imagine. But Iโm not sure.โ
Before I know it, I hear a small splash as Miller enters the water behind me. She swims to where I stand before she pulls herself out and takes a seat on the ledge, forcing me to look at her.
Forced.ย I laugh to myself. Sort of feels like a privilege to watch Miller Montgomery dripping wet in a bathing suit.
Her voice is softer than it typically is. โWhat happened?โ
Water drips down her body, some of it falling between her tits and my attention is glued. She knows it too and like some kind of sex hypnotist, she scoots slightly closer and asks again, โWhat happened with Maxโs mom?โ
โAre you using your body to distract me?โ โIs it working?โ
I scrub a palm over my face because, yes, itโs working. A little too fucking well. โShe was um . . . someone I was casually seeing when I played in Seattle. I met her at a local restaurant the team frequented. Ashley was our server. It was never anything serious, and it was over as soon as I
signed with Chicago. Just a fling, or so I thought. I moved to the Midwest in the fall, and just about a year later, she showed up at my apartment with my six-month-old son in her arms.โ
โShe never told you she was pregnant?โ Millerโs brows are pinched, anger evident.
โShe didnโt know until after I had already left. But, no, I donโt think she had planned to ever tell me.โ
โI hate her.โ
I chuckle. โI donโt.โ
โHow could you not?โ
โBecause she genuinely believed she was doing the right thing, however misguided it was. She didnโt want me to think she was trying to trap me or take my money, so she had planned to do it on her own, but six months in, she realized she didnโt want to be a mother. Thatโs when she showed up.โ
Miller scoffs. โIโll hold a grudge for you then since youโre being sane and reasonable. Thatโs fucked, Kai. You missed out on six whole months.โ
โI know I did, and I think about those six months every day of my life. What I missed, what Max learned without me around. I donโt hate her, but I am angry with her for not telling me about him sooner. When she showed up in Chicago, there was no question in my mind that I would be the one to raise him.โ
โAnd you were sure he was yours? Just like that?โ
Lifting my brows, I wait for her to connect the dots. Max has my steel- blue eyes, my dark hair. Thereโs no mistaking that heโs mine.
โOkay,โ she laughs, holding up her hands. โStupid question.โ โIโve already missed so much, Iโm afraid to miss any more.โ The space goes eerily quiet, the silence screaming.
โSorry,โ I apologize. โItโs too late to be getting deep on you.โ โItโs never too late to go deep in me, Baseball Daddy.โ
A startled laugh bursts from my lips, breaking the tension. โYouโre ridiculous.โ
She smiles and I like it far too much. I want to stare at her, tell her too many things when sheโs looking at me like that. So instead, I dip under the water and swim away until I feel her on my heels, taking my same path in the pool.
Popping out in the deep end, I tread until she breaks the surface as well. โWhat the hell are you doing?โ
โFollowing you around this goddamn pool until you tell me the rest.โ โThe rest of what?โ
โThe rest of the story. Why you donโt trust anyone with your son. Why you donโt trust me.โ She uses her arms and legs far more than she needs to, just to stay upright in the water. โAlso, Iโm not a great swimmer, so if I drown, thatโs on your conscience for life.โ
โI do trust you.โ
She stills, those green eyes going wide before she slowly starts to sink. โAll right, Michael Phelps.โ Reaching out, I wrap an arm around her
waist and pull her into my body. โNo need to sacrifice your life here. Iโll talk.โ
Our legs tangle under the water, our skin sliding against one another. The water is plenty warm, but I feel the line of goosebumps scatter up Millerโs spine underneath my palm. Hand snaking around her hip, her legs hook around my waist, eyes slowly dipping to my lips because theyโre far too close to hers.
I clear my throat, swimming us back to the shallow end.
When I reach the height she can stand, I still donโt let go. When she tries to remove her legs from my hips, I tighten my grip. She feels good. Too good. I truly have no idea how long itโs been since Iโve had a womanโs body on mine, but I donโt want it to end just yet.
โYou trust me?โ she whispers. โI think so.โ
โWhy?โ
โGod, I have no idea. Youโre like a bull in a china shop so maybe Iโm just clear out of my mind.โ
Slowly, I walk her back to the ledge, depositing her to sit, but I donโt leave. I stay standing between her open legs, my palms flat on the concrete bracketing them.
โAsk your questions.โ
โWhy have you fired every one of his nannies?โ She doesnโt hesitate, but I do.
My head drops, Millerโs thighs right there in front of me, and I have to fist my hands to keep from touching them.
โCan I tell you why?โ she quietly asks. โI think you want to stop playing baseball. I think youโre so worried youโre going to miss out on the big moments, that Maxโs caretaker is going to be the first one to experience
them. I think youโre so hung up on what you did miss that youโre desperate not to miss any more.โ
Inhaling through my nose, I back away in the water because weโre far too close and sheโs seeing far too much.
โI know what itโs like to notice your parentsโ absence,โ I tell her. โThe day I was drafted, Isaiah was the only one in the crowd for me, and it was the same thing when it was his turn. I was also the only one there for him when he got his driverโs license or when he had his heart broken for the first time. The last thing Iโll ever be is an absentee dad. I wonโt miss the important stuff, and even more, I donโt want to miss the everyday, insignificant moments. I want them all.โ
Silence falls over us as Miller kicks in the water, her foot brushing my leg.
Her typically confident demeanor turns soft. โWhere were your parents?โ โMy mom died.โ
โSo did mine.โ
My eyes jerk to hers as she sits on the ledge. โCancer,โ she says.
โCar accident.โ โAnd your dad?โ
All right, thatโs too much for tonight. โLong story.โ
She seems to understand my need to change the subject. โYou need to have a little fun in your life.โ
A smile ticks up at the memories. โTrust me, my twenties were plenty fun. Once Isaiah was settled in the league, I lived it up. I was stupid and reckless, and I donโt need to go back to that now that I have a son to raise.โ
โYou donโt need to go back, but you could find a balance between then and now. Now, youโre all grumpyโโshe lowers her voice, mimicking me
โโ โI equally hate playing baseball and people who watch my kid.โ โ
โI donโt hate baseball. I love it, actually. I just hate that it takes me away from Max.โ
โAnd the people who watch your kid?โ My mouth twitches. โTo be determined.โ
She laughs, smacking me in the chest with the back of her hand, but I catch it before she can pull away. โHow old were you when your mom died?โ
The tone in the air shifts again.
โFive.โ
โGeez,โ I exhale. โI didnโt realize Monty was so young when he lost his wife.โ
โOh, they were never married. Actually, they had only been seeing each other for about a year when my mom died.โ Miller slips off the ledge, into the water between my body and the side of the pool. โHeโs not my biological dad.โ
What?
She swims away from me, but like she said, sheโs not a great swimmer, so she doesnโt get far. Sheโs been chasing me in the pool all night, but for once, Iโm the one determined to catch her.
โKeep talking,โ I urge as she crests the water.
โHe adopted me.โ She wipes the water droplets from her face. โThe day before she died, my mom asked him to adopt me. It was a ridiculous thing to ask of him. He was twenty-five years old, playing professional baseball. I was simply his girlfriendโs kid, but he did it anyway. My mom was a single mom, raised me on her own up until then. My biological father was a one- night thing. Monty adopted me, we changed my last name to his because she wanted us to. He left the league and took a college coaching job to take care of me because I didnโt have anyone else. Itโs the most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me, and I feel terrible about it.โ
Iโm frozen in place, standing in the shallow end of the pool, stunned by the vulnerability Miller has never worn around me. She uses humor to dissipate tense situations, but sheโs not right now because Monty deserves a moment of recognition. She wants me to understand how good he is. How important he is to her.
I fucking love that guy.
โHeโs worried youโll retire the same way he did,โ she continues.
Itโs something I think about daily. It would take away a lot of the stress I carry. Sure, Iโd be giving up a career I love, but itโd be to do a job I love even more.
โDonโt,โ she whispers. โTake it from the child of someone who gave up exactly what youโre thinking of giving up. Max will live with that guilt for the rest of his life.โ
This is why she came back last week. This must be what Monty told her to give me another chance.
โMiller, Iโm exhausted. All the fucking time.โ
โLet me help you. Let me help you find the balance.โ
Sheโs serious about this, about the guilt she carries. But why? I know Monty. I know the kind of man he is. Heโd give up everything for his kid, the same way I would. How does she not get that? Thereโs a different kind of love that comes into your life when you have a child. Monty didnโt sacrifice his career, he simply changed directions because of how much he loved that little girl. So much so that he carries her softball photo to every away game so he can place it on his desk to see her.
Her eyes bounce between mine, pleading, but before I can answer, the blinding light from a flashlight roams over her face.
โHey!โ a security guard yells. โThe pool is closed!โ
Turning, I use my body to cover Millerโs, my back to her, partly to get the light off her face, but mostly because I feel real possessive seeing her in this little green bathing suit and I have no plans to share the view.
She falls into a fit of laughter behind me.
โSorry about that!โ I hold my hands up, out of the water. โWeโll go.โ Miller continues to giggle.
โIโm holding you responsible for this one, Montgomery. Here I am, spendingย oneย night with you and already getting in trouble.โ
โTrust me,โ she chuckles. โI have plans to get you in a whole lot more trouble than that.โ
Thatโs exactly what Iโm worried about.