Max makes a jumbled sound that Iโve come to know as meaning โsnackโ as he points towards the kitchen in my hotel room.
I adjust him on my hip. โYou want a pouch?โ He points to the kitchen again.
โCan you sayย pouch?โ I prompt, but he just keeps pointing in that direction.
I grab his favorite flavor of pureed fruit, undoing the top and letting him feed himself as I carry him around my room, tidying up before Miller comes over to watch him for the first time.
โIs that good, Bug?โ
He smacks his tiny lips together.
He still only has a handful of words in his vocabulary, but itโs wild when I get to hear them. Itโs even wild to watch him feed himself though heโs been doing it for months. It might sound pathetic, but the small changes I see in him as he learns and grows are the most exciting moments of my everyday life.
And right on cue, I have to push away the lingering disappointment and questions, wondering what moments I missed for those first six months of his life when I didnโt even know he existed.
I should probably put him down. Let him chill in his highchair or something but Iโm always a needy little fucker on game days. I hate knowing Iโm leaving him behind for the rest of the day. I miss dinner with him, and bedtime. So yeah, Iโm a bit helicopter-y on afternoons I have to go to the field.
A knock sounds at the door and I find myself checking out my room, making sure it looks okay before answering it for my coachโs daughter. Except when I open the door, itโs not Miller waiting for me on the other side. Itโs my brother.
โWhat are you doing here?โ I ask as he barrels inside.
โHeard the new nanny is hot.โ He looks around my hotel room, for her I guess. โAnd a woman, thank fuck.โ
โDonโt curse in front of my kid.โ
Who am I kidding? Max is being raised by a baseball team. Heโs heard worse already.
โSorry, Maxie,โ Isaiah says. โThank frick. Better, Dad?โ I roll my eyes.
โSo where is she?โ
โHow do you even know about her or that sheโs hot?โ
โSo, sheย isย hot? I didnโt actually know that. I wasย manifesting.โ
Isaiah takes a seat at the small kitchen nook, his feet up on the stool next to the one heโs sitting on. I tend to get the biggest rooms on the road because I have another person living with me, and all of Maxโs stuff eats at any available space I have. Additionally, thereโs always an adjoining room connected to mine for Maxโs nanny to stay. Now that Troyโs gone, itโs empty, but Miller will stay in there while Iโm at the game tonight.
โSheโs notย notย hot.โ
โOh my God,โ my brother says, accusatorially. โYouโre gonna bang the new nanny, arenโt you? So clichรฉ, my guy.โ
โNo, Iโm not. And neither are you because not only is she Maxโs new nanny, but sheโs also Montyโs daughter.โ
Every muscle in Isaiahโs body freezes. โYouโre kidding me. Monty has a hot daughter? How old is she?โ
โTwenty-five.โ
โAnd sheโs good with kids?โ
โDoubtful. Sheโs like a goddamn hurricane, but Montyโs adamant about me hiring her, so I donโt really have a choice.โ Isaiah nods in understanding. โHow the hell do you know about her? Iโve only just met her.โ
โThe teamโs group chat is going off.โ He holds up his phone and I adjust my glasses to look at it. โYou should take it off mute every once in a while.โ
Travis:ย Heard Maxโs new nanny is a woman. Fucking finally, Ace.
Cody:ย Troy was cute, but his replacement is cuter. I think I saw her in the hallway earlier. I wouldnโt mind her being my nanny. Feed me. Tuck me into bed. Take my temperature too.
Isaiah:ย Sheโs not a nurse, you idiot.
Cody:ย I call dibs on her being my seatmate on the plane.
Travis:ย What the hell? Thatโs my seat.
Cody:ย Wait until you see her. Youโll understand.
Isaiah:ย You can have the plane seat. I call dibs on everything else.
An odd sense of annoyance rattles through me because this is Montyโs kid and Maxโs new caretaker. Sheโs not here for them. Theyโre acting like a pack of starved dogs going after a single bone when, in reality, they have a buffet in every city we visit.
I would know. I used to have a buffet too.
โOkay.โ I usher him off the stool. โYou need to leave before she gets here.โ
โNo way. At least one of the Rhodeses needs to make a good impression and youโre too stressed and grumpy lately to do it.โ
โIf thereโs one Rhodes I can count on making a good impression, it sure as hell isnโt going to be you. Max will do it.โ My brows cinch. โAnd Iโm not grumpy, you dick.โ
Iโm justย tired. Tired of doing it all alone. Tired of feeling like Iโm not doing enough.
โReally?โ Isaiah asks with a huff of a laugh. โBecause you used to be the happiest dude I knew, but I couldnโt tell you the last time I saw you genuinely having fun. Back in the day, you were a bigger flirt than me, with shockingly more game. Whenโs the last time you let that side come out?โ
โThere are ways to have fun other than screwing around in every city.โ
Like watching the same YouTube video of farm animals singing and dancing on repeat. Or playing peekaboo behind a napkin for an hour straight in an attempt to get Max to stop crying while heโs teething. My new definitions of fun.
โYeah, but that way is theย mostย fun.โ A smirk quirks on his lips.
In my twenties I was a massive flirt, and I did my fair share of fucking around, but responsibilities crept into my life again, shifting my priorities. The flirty side pops out occasionally, when Iโm out at work events alone, but then the reminder of whoโs waiting for me at home brings me back to reality and I squash my former self.
But Iโm not getting into that conversation with my little brother right now because as much as I love him, heโll never understand. Our teen years were terrible, but he has no idea just how hard they were because I sheltered him from it all. Itโs what I do. I take care of my responsibilities.
โAre you feeling okay?โ I ask. โHuh?โ
โYou look sick. Maybe you should call out tonight. Stay home. Watch my son.โ
He rolls his eyes. โSays the guy who plays once every five days.โ โExactly. And look how much I get paid for it. Iโmย essential.โ
Isaiah barks a laugh. โIโm the shortstop. I play every single game. There are four more starting pitchers waiting for their night.โ
โWhich is why I should retire early. The Warriors will be fine without me.โ
His brown eyes narrow. โYouโre just running in circles hoping one of your points sticks, huh?โ
โWorth a shot.โ
โIf Montyโs daughter is anything like him, sheโll be great with Max.
What are you so worried about?โ
A knock at the door sounds, cutting off that conversation. โYouโll see.โ
Isaiah turns back to me with a mischievous smile. โWho is it?โ he calls out in a sing-song voice.
Shut the fuck up, I mouth.
โDonโt curse in front of my nephew.โ
โYour favorite person in Miami,โ Miller deadpans from the hallway. โSexy voice,โ Isaiah whispers, and I find myself annoyed that he noticed.
He opens the door, casually leaning on the frame and blocking my view of the girl in the hall, but I watch as his spine stiffens before his head whips around to me, slack jaw and wide brown eyes.
I know that guy better than he knows himself, so itโs not hard to understand that heโs silently asking why I didnโt tell him that Miller is the girl he fell in love with from the elevator this morning.
โIsaiah, Miller. Miller, Isaiah. My brother.โ
โBuy one, get one. Fun,โ I hear her say, but I still canโt see her because my brother is frozen in the entryway.
โIโm the uncle,โ he finally blurts out.
She laughs, a deep throaty sound that goes straight to my dick. โI put that together from the whole brother thing.โ
โIsaiah, move.โ
โYeah. Welcome. Come on in.โ He ushers her inside as if it were his room to welcome her into. โCan I get you anything? Water? A snack? My number?โ
She completely ignores him.
As soon as heโs out of the way, she comes into view, still wearing those cutoff overalls and Iโm not quite sure whatโs so fascinating to me about her thighs, but theyโre thick and muscular, the kind you get from years of playing softball.
And I canโt stop imagining how blissfully constricting theyโd feel around my waist. Or even betterโmy face.
But then I remember this is Montyโs kid Iโm thinking about, and I have to close my eyes to keep myself from looking at her.
โYou good, Baseball Daddy?โ Isaiah cackles.
My eyes shoot open to find her looking at me like thereโs something very, very wrong with me and clearly there is if Iโm looking atย thisย woman likeย that.
Sheโs borderline certifiable.
โYeah.โ I clear my throat. โThis is Max.โ I nod my head towards him, shifting my hip so he can see her better.
โHi, Max,โ Miller says, her eyes softening.
That wild-girl edge I saw this morning is calmer now, maybe for Maxโs sake or maybe for mine, Iโm not sure, but a small amount of my hesitation about this situation eases away.
Max blushes, burying his head into the crook of my neck, knocking off his little ball cap in the process. Heโs being shy, vastly different from his desperation to get to Miller this morning, but heโs not afraid of her the way he is with most strangers. I think heโs simply aware of her attention, and even though heโs acting like he doesnโt, he likes it.
But thereโs a part of me thatโs loving that my son wants me regardless of the pretty girl calling out his name.
โHeโs being shy.โ
โThatโs okay, Max. I tend to have that effect on boys.โ
My eyes dart to Isaiah. Case in pointโmy brother, who is frozen like a statue in the kitchen, silent but mesmerized.
โShould we show Miller all your stuff?โ I ask my son.
Max reaches up to use his hat to cover his pink cheeks, but itโs on the floor so his giddy smile is pretty obvious behind his arm.
โCome on, Bug.โ I take his empty pouch, setting it on the kitchen counter before placing him on his feet.
โBug?โ
โItโs his nickname. The first time I ever saw him, he was wearing a onesie that was covered in a pastel bug print. So, Bug kind of stuck.โ
With Maxโs hands in the air, I hold on to each of them with my own, letting him use me to balance himself as he takes slow, wonky steps into the kitchen.
โHeโs not walking on his own yet?โ
My head snaps up to Miller, looking for a judgmental glare to accompany her statement, but there isnโt one. In fact, nothing in her tone was judgmental either.
Itโs a me thing, thinking others are judging my parenting skills or my sonโs progression. Heโs fifteen months old. Maybe he should be walking. Maybe he should have more words in his vocabulary. I donโt fucking know. To be honest, I donโtย wantย to know because Iโm doing my best. Am I failing as a parent? Possibly. But heโs healthy and Iโm trying.
โNot yet. Itโll happen any day now, though.โ I shift my attention back to Max as he continues to take shaky steps into the kitchen, not letting her see the concern on my face that Iโm screwing up this whole โdadโ thing.
โThatโs kind of nice. Iโm glad I donโt have to worry about him running away on me,โ she chuckles.
Looking up at her, I catch her watching my son with a soft smile. Sheโs not judging us.
Sheโs not judging me.
โHeโs a hell of a crawler though.โ Letting go of his hands, Max immediately folds onto the ground before he takes off crawling. โHeโll be on his hands and knees most of the time.โ
โAs all men should be.โ
Isaiah makes his presence known with a childish squeak of a laugh. โI like her,โ he says.
โWell at least one of the Rhodes boys does.โ โTwo,โ I interject.
A flash of confusion and maybe a bit of hope washes over her face. โMax.โ
She barks a laugh, and that fucking sound is so frustratingly sexy to me that I have to clear my throat and turn away from her.
โEmergency numbers,โ I say, pointing to the list attached to the fridge. โMine. The teamโs travel coordinator. Hotel front desk. The local hospital
โโ
โYou added 9-1-1.โ
โTheyโre emergency numbers.โ
โI think Iโve got that one down already.โ I continue down the list. โYour dad.โ โGot that one too.โ
Isaiah barrels his body between us, pen outstretched. โMine,โ he says as he sprawls his number on the very bottom, ten times the size of the rest. โText me anytime. Call me. Emergency, non-emergency.โ He blocks me by turning his back to me, arm leaning on the fridge to create a barrier she canโt see behind. โIโm Maxโs favorite and I have a feeling Iโll be yours too.โ
Miller chuckles. โThirsty.โ
Well, thatโs new. Iโm used to women falling for my brotherโs charmingly easy playboy thing.
Isaiah doesnโt move, keeping his body between ours. โI like to call myself eager.โ
โParched. Dehydrated,โ she continues. โDesperate,โ I add for her.
โHey.โ Isaiah holds up a single finger. โIf I wasnโt getting any, Iโd let you call me desperate, but Iโm doing just fine in that department, so I would say Iโmย enthusiastically available.โ
โSounds like you keep yourself plenty busy then. No need to try for your coachโs daughter, right? Donโt think heโd like that all too much.โ Miller tilts her head.
Isaiah stiffens, his voice dipping to a whisper. โPlease donโt tell your dad.โ
โThen please donโt make it awkward for me while Iโm watching your nephew.โ
Okay, maybe there are three Rhodeses that like her.
โYou heard the woman.โ I usher him to the door. โStop harassing her and leave so Max can get to know her.โ
โBut I wanna get to know her!โ he says as I push him out of the room.
I shut the door behind him, turning back to the kitchen. โSorry about him.โ
โWas I too direct?โ
โNah. A little rejection is good for his overgrown ego, but by turning him down you probably made him fall in love with you. So, good luck with that.โ
โGreat,โ she deadpans before finding Max sitting at her feet, staring up at her.
She gets down on her haunches, making herself as eye level as she can. โHi, Bug.โ
Max smiles and I lean against the wall, watching them.
โWhat do you say? Wanna hang out with me while your dad is working?
We can watch his game and make fun of how tight his pants are.โ โYouโll be watching?โ
โThe game? Or your ass?โ โBoth.โ
Millerโs greens dart to me over her shoulder.
Shit.ย The old me popped out without thought, two seconds after she gave my brother a warning for hitting on her.
A smirk lifts on her lips, but she doesnโt fully answer my question. โYeah, Iโll be watching.โ
โShit.ย Shoot,โ I correct myself. โYou probably have tickets. You should go to the game. Hang out with your dad afterward. Iโll get Sanderson from the staff to watch him.โ
โItโs fine.โ She waves me off, clearly not picking up on the fact Iโd rather have Sanderson watch him tonight. I trust him enough and, that way, Max will be at the field where I am. โIt seems Iโll be around all summer now. Plenty of baseball to watch.โ
Yeah, weโll see about that.
Part of me wants to set her up for failure, give her dad a reason to fire her, but her failing only hurts Max in the long run.
Right on cue, as that disapproving thought passes through my mind, Max reaches his hands up for Miller to hold him. She takes him with ease, and he buries himself into her shoulder, something he never does with strangers, least of all a random woman.
My son looks over to me, a little grin on his lips as if he were silently telling me that, despite my best efforts, sheโs staying.
Taking my hat off, I give myself a moment between pitches, running my thumb over the small photo of Max I keep tucked into the inner band.
Travis calls for change-up, but I shake him off. I was lucky enough that this guy skimmed my last change-up. Iโm not risking it again.
Two outs and the third is coming two pitches from now. Bottom of the seventh inning and weโre up 3-1 on Miami. That run pissed me off. I lost focus and pitched right into the batterโs pocket, where Miamiโs second baseman sent it flying into the bleachers past right field.
Thankfully, no other runners were on the bases, but thatโs the last time I think about Miller fucking Montgomery while Iโm on the mound.
Itโs her first night with Max, and Iโd assume from the glimpse I got of her this morning, itโll also be her last. Thereโs no way she wonโt fuck this up.
Travis, my catcher, changes his call, giving me what I wantโa four-seam fastball. I need this inning over. No unnecessary runners on the bases, no extra time spent running through pitch sequences. Just up and down. Three at-bats. Three outs.
Giving him a nod, I straighten my body and align my fingers over the laces of the ball in my glove. Deep breath and I go through my mechanics, sending a fastball high and outside. Just high and outside enough that the batter swings and misses, earning me my second strike.
Heโs pissed at himself, and I love that. I can see the frustration even from the mound. And when Travis gives me my next pitch, I know heโs going to be real pissed when I get my final strike on a slider.
Itโs similar to my curveball, but my slider is deadly. This is only the second season that Travis has been my catcher, but he knows this is how I like to end an inning. Itโs effective, and right now I need efficiency so I can get back to the dugout and check on my son.
Like clockwork, the batter swings as the ball takes a downward curve, cutting inside.
Three strikes. Three outs. Inning over.
Travis meets me halfway between home plate and the pitchersโ mound, connecting his catcherโs glove to my own. โDamn, Ace. Youโre going to bruise my palm with that speed. Howโs the arm?โ
I round my shoulders. โStill feels good.โ
I would add that Iโve got at least another inning in me, but I wouldnโt dare speak that out loud. Superstitions and all that.
โThatโs what I like to hear.โ
โLetโs go, big bro!โ Isaiah jogs in from his position between second and third base, smacking my ass with his glove. โWhatโs gotten into you tonight?โ
I steadily jog to the dugout with them. โJust ready for this game to be over. Would like for it to happen as quickly as possible.โ
โFucking hell,โ he laughs. โIs this because of the hot nanny?โ
โWhat the hell did you say, Rhodes?โ Monty yells out as we pass him, taking the stairs into the dugout where Iโm met with ass slaps, shoulder claps, and endless praise for tonightโs pitching.
โNothing. I donโt think I said anything.โ He looks around. โNope, didnโt hear anything either.โ
โGood. I like you a whole lot better when you donโt speak.โ He palms the back of my head. โNice pitching, Ace.โ
Nodding, I find the first staff member who isnโt busy.
โSanderson,โ I call out to one of our trainers as I take a seat on the back of the bench, high enough to give me a view of the field. โYou got your phone on you?โ
His eyes bounce to mine nervously, probably because he knows better than to speak to a pitcher between innings. In fact, I typically donโt talk at all, and my teammates know not to break my focus once I take a seat on the bench, but tonight is the exception.
Seven innings down which makes this the seventh text Iโve sent to Miller. Only I canโt be the one to do it because there are too many cameras focused on me in the dugout.
โSend a text for me,โ I call out before rattling off Millerโs number I memorized this afternoon.
โWhat should I say?โ
โChecking in. Ask her how Max is and remind her she can bring him here if sheโs having trouble with him. You can take him off her hands, right?โ
โAce!โ Monty calls out. โStop texting my daughter and focus on the goddamn game.โ
โHey, youโre the one who not only raised an absolute wild card, but also hired her to watch my son. This is your fault.โ
A crack of a smile peeks through his lips.
Sanderson clears his throat. โShe texted back.โ He reads from his phone with absolutely no inflection in his voice. โShe says, โTell Kai if he doesnโt leave me alone, Iโm going to feed his kid all the sugar I can find in this hotel, sit him in front of a screen so he can get brainwashed by whatever the hell a Cocomelon is, then leave his grouchy ass to deal with Max all night.โโ
โNot funny.โ I go to grab his phone.
โAce,โ Monty says under his palm so outsiders canโt read his lips. โCameras.โ
Exhaling a resigned sigh, I say, โText her back and tell her sheโs fired.โ Monty chuckles under his breath.
Sanderson holds up his phone for me to read as texts continue to roll in.
Miller:ย I got fired in the third and sixth innings too! This must be a new record.
Miller:ย Tell him his change-up should getย himย fired. That was ugly.
Miller:ย Oh, and tell him his baseball pants arenโt doing anything for his ass.
Miller:ย Actually, donโt lie. His change-up though, thatโs not a lie. It really was ugly.
โJesus,โ I huff out, shaking my head. โJust ask her if my kid is alive.โ Sandersonโs phone dings. โAlive.โ
A small weight lifts from my chest. Seven innings down, two to go.
โI canโt wait to meet her,โ I hear Travis chime in from down the bench, talking to my teammates.
โAbout time Max got a hot nanny,โ my brother says.
โAbout timeย weย got a hot nanny. We deserve this,โ Cody, our first baseman adds. โThis is far more exciting for the boys than it is for Maxie.โ
Monty turns around to rip my teammates a new one, but I beat him to it. โWatch it,โ I say from my isolated seat. Standing, my jacket falls from
my shoulder as I project my voice loud enough to be heard from the other end of the dugout. โIโm going to say this only once, so listen up. No one better try anything with her. I donโt give a shit if you think sheโs Godโs gift to this team, sheโs not here for any of you. So let this be the one and only warning that if you mess with her in any way that makes her feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, you will be answering to me. You think Monty is scary when it comes to his kid?โ I chuckle condescendingly. โYou donโt even want to know what Iโll be like if you fuck with mine, and
messing with Miller, or anyone who is watching my son, is the same thing as messing with Max, so donโt fucking try it.โ
Sinking back onto the top of the bench, I re-cover my shoulder with my jacket to keep it warm.
The dugout is eerily quiet, probably because my teammates are shocked to hear me speak. Baseballโs unspoken rules and superstitions are no jokeโ you donโt mess with them, but making sure Max is okay is more important than any superstition.
โYeah!โ my brother calls out, breaking the awkward silence. โOnly Ace is allowed to make her feel unwelcome, isnโt that right, Coach?โ
โIsaiah, stop being such a kiss ass and get on-deck. Youโre batting next.โ โYes, sir!โ
He swaps his hat for his batting helmet, scurrying out of the dugout to the on-deck circle, while I sit and wait for this goddamn game to be over.