Fix up a house , Iris said.
“It will be fun ,” she said.
What a load of crap.
With the asbestos team hard at work on the main house, Lana and I are forced to make some difficult decisions about the remodel.
She pushes aside the fifth sample from the cabinet. She slides across the coffee table, straight to the other samples she rejected. “No.”
“What do you mean no?” My right eye twitches.
Lana and I have been at this since she dropped Cami off at summer camp two hours ago, and we haven’t made much progress. The only thing we have agreed on is the new shape of the pool.
At this rate, it will take us three years to choose everything that needs to go into the house. As it is, Ryder is already pressuring me to order supplies if we want to meet our deadline.
There is no need . I need the property listed by the end of August if I plan to meet my grandfather’s deadline.
“It looks cheap.” Her forehead wrinkles.
“How is that possible? Each cabinet costs over a thousand dollars.” His eyes widen. “For one cabinet? But we need like…”
“Just ignore what I said.” The last thing I want to do today is argue about money too.
She looks at the cabinet some more. “No. I still hate it, the high price and all that.”
” What do you like?”
“I don’t know.” She makes the cutest exasperated sigh as she looks up at the ceiling.
Maybe our problem isn’t that the options are bad, but that Lana doesn’t know what she wants.
“Let me grab my laptop. I think I have an idea.
I walk back into the living room with my laptop open and Pinterest has already stopped. Instead of sitting across from Lana, I take a seat next to her and place the laptop on my thighs so she can see the screen.
The heat emanating from his body seeps through my skin. I’m tempted to brush my arm against hers and be rewarded with a gasp, but I restrain myself.
Business first.
His eyebrows arch. “Pinterest? Actually?”
“Iris swears by him after planning most of her wedding and honeymoon with him.
She laughs. “Of course. I wish I had thought of that first. I like to set new ideas for teaching, but I didn’t think of that for home.”
“Watch me be useful for once.” My laugh comes out half-heartedly. She pushes me with her thigh. “You can be useful.”
“How? Because I opened a jar of spaghetti sauce for you last night?”
“The lid was pretty tight. I’m not sure I would have made it without you. I put my eye white. “I’m glad my life’s purpose has been reduced to housework and arm muscles.”
“Well, you always joked about wanting to be a stay-at-home dad. Maybe it’s your calling after all.
“Don’t tempt me. You know how I feel about corporate life.”
His head tilts. “You know there are other jobs besides a basic nine-to-five desk job.”
“I am aware.” It doesn’t mean I’ve found one that works for me. It’s not that I need a job, but my brothers make it seem like that’s the meaning of life. Or at least they did until they found something better.
Love.
“Have you done anything since hockey?”
My shoulders turn to stone. “Does stepping in as Declan’s assistant count?”
His mouth opens. “Were you Declan’s assistant?”
“Don’t look so surprised.” I smack her nose, earning a breathy laugh that makes my heart swell pathetically.
I’m surprised you lived to tell the tale.
“He wasn’t that bad . “Iris was the one who had to put up with it for three years.” Her lips part. Did Iris work for him?
“Yeah.”
“And she still fell in love with him? Wow.”
Wow you are right. If it weren’t for my grandfather’s will and his marriage of convenience clause, I’m not sure the two would have gotten together in the first place.
“Declan is lucky because Iris is a great woman.”
His face softens. “You really care about her.”
“She has always been there for me when I needed someone.” I break eye contact and focus on my laptop screen.
Lana reaches out and squeezes my hand. “She sounds like a great friend. I’m glad you found someone who could be that for you.”
I nod as I swallow the thick lump in my throat. “I love her like the sister I never had, but she was never you. What she and I had was always different.”
“You never tried…” His voice trails off as the question dies on the tip of his tongue.
“We kissed once, but that was it.” I grab her palm and place it against my thigh.
“If your friendship is like ours, then I’m questioning it.” The muscles in her back remain tense despite the playfulness of her words.
“Nothing has ever compared to us, and nothing ever will.” He brought his hand to my mouth and pressed my lips against the faded scar on his knuckle. It’s small but a constant reminder of her. get hurt after I stupidly dared her to climb a chain link fence. She lets out a shaky breath. “You have to stop talking and doing things like that.”
“Because?”
“Because this is not the past.” She tries to free her hand from my grip, but my grip is too strong.
“Good, because I’d rather focus on our future.” He moved her fingers away from her before kissing the soft flesh of her palm, eliciting the softest inhalation from her.
“We have no future.”
“Not yet, but give me some time to prove you wrong.” A pink blush blooms on her cheeks, so I trace it with the pad of my thumb. “I don’t expect you to believe me, but I’m just warning you.” “Warn me about what?”
“I walked away from you before because I thought I was doing the right thing. That you were better off without me. That you would be happier. I don’t plan on making the same mistake again, even if you expect me to. While I could be wrong, hell, I can practically guarantee it, I won’t run away again. I will fight
for us no matter what happens.” I let go of her hand, although there is nothing I want more than to never let go.
The tension between us grows as I return my focus to the laptop screen in front of us. Lana is lost in thought for a few minutes before continuing as if our conversation hadn’t happened.
Maybe it’s the best. Talking about my intentions doesn’t matter when I have years of mistakes and mistrust to overcome.
But that starts today.
 |
Lana and I spent the rest of the afternoon searching for different ideas on Pinterest. She points out everything she likes and together we quickly created a few different boards for each of the rooms in the house. It doesn’t take us long to determine that Lana hates futuristic modern ideas almost as much as I dislike mid-century style. Together, we decided that the best option is to go for a transitional modern style. “I think I’m in love.” Lana sighs to herself as she checks the board we made for the bathroom one last time.
“I shared the links with Ryder so he can get to work and find something that matches our vision.”
“I’m jealous of whoever buys the place. “It’s like everything I ever wanted, all in one house.”
My chest aches at the look of pure longing on his face. “You can always recreate it.”
She snorts. “With what money? The only reason we are doing this is because of you.
I bite my tongue to avoid saying anything.
With a sigh, he closes my laptop. “I better go pick up Cami from summer camp.”
“Do you mind if I join you?”
His eyebrows jump. “Do you want to come?”
“Of course. It’s not like I have much else to do.” I gesture toward the empty house.
“I have to stop by the grocery store on the way home, though.”
“Well?” Is that supposed to discourage me or something? Her eyes flicker over me. “You’re serious.”
I roll my eyes as I stand up. “Do you want to drive my car or yours?”
His mouth opens.
“That?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. Let’s take mine. “What’s wrong with my car?”
“Besides the fact that it’s not ideal or probably safe for a child?” He stands as tall as he can, with the top of his head barely reaching my chin.
“You didn’t have any problems when you needed a ride to school.” “Because I was desperate and I didn’t want to miss Cami’s graduation.” Her thin lips.
“Are you going to drive?”
“Of course. It’s the 21st century. Women can handle men now.”
God helps us all.
Spend the short trip to Cami’s summer camp laughing at the swear words that come out of my mouth. Any small measure of restraint he showed while driving my car is gone.
Some people removing leftover Fourth of July decorations from Main Street wave at her, and she honks her horn before turning the wheel.
My grip on the safety bar slips as she makes a sharp left turn. “No wonder your tires were wearing out. “You drive as if the police are chasing you.”
She laughs herself until she is hoarse. I’m desperate as I watch in complete fascination, my chest swelling with excitement as I see her happiness.
This was all he wanted for her. I just never thought I could be the one to make it happen with all the other things jamming me up, getting in the way of our chance at a happy ending.
But the only thing standing in the way was me. It’s not my addiction. It’s not my career.
Me.
Because at the end of the day, I am the one who makes the final decisions about my life.
I chose wrong when I left her last time. She was supposed to be better off without me, but her obvious loneliness has proven exactly the opposite.
Lana was surviving, not thriving, and I only have myself to blame. And I don’t plan to make the same mistake again.
