Locke stood up. She kicked Genevieveโs body to the side, like the girl was already dead, even though the gasping, whimpering sounds the dying girl made told me she was not. Lockeโs gun was on the floor, forgotten, but the way she was holding the knife as she stepped toward me told me that I wasnโt any safer than Iโd been a moment before.
She was going to cut me.
She was going to slice me open. She was going to kill me.
โYouโre a liar,โ she said. โYou couldnโt do it. Do you even want to? Do you?โ
She was screaming now. I took a step backward. I opened my mouth to tell her what she wanted to hear, to tell her that I did want it, to stall for time, but she never gave me the chance. Looking at me over the blade, she took another step forward.
โYou were supposed to kill her,โ she said. โI got her forย you.โ โIโm sorryโโ
โโSorryโ never did anything!ย Lorelaiย was sorry. She was sorry, but she had to go, and she left me there alone.โ Lockeโs voice broke, but the fury was still clear in every word. โYou were supposed to kill the girl. It was supposed to beย us, Cassie. You. And me. Butย you left!โ
She wasnโt talking to me anymore. She didnโt seeย meย when her wild eyes landed on mine. The blade in her hand gleamed. The blood dripped onto the floor. I had two seconds, maybe three.
โWhat do you mean, I left?โ I asked, hoping my words would break through the fog in her brain, bring her back to the here and now. โLeft where?โ
Locke stopped. She hesitated. She looked at me. She saw me. She got ahold of herself, and with her voice still full of venom, she advanced. โLorelai left. She was eighteen, and I was twelve. She was supposed to protect me. She was supposed to watch out for me. At night, when Daddy went away and the monster came out to play, she made him angry. She made him angry on purpose so heโd hit her instead of me. She said she wouldnโt let anything happen to me.โ Locke paused. โShe lied.โ
Weโd known that the UNSUB was fixated on my mother. We just hadnโt known why.
โShe was my sister, and she just left me there. She knew what he was like after Mama left. She knew what he would do to me once she was gone, and
she left anyway. Because ofย you. Because Daddy was right, and Lorelai was a little whore. She did all the wrong things, and when I found out she was pregnant with that air force boyโs baby โฆโ Locke was completely caught up in the memory. I eyed her gun on the floor, wondering if I could reach it in time. โI thought that Daddy would kill her if he knew.ย Iย wasnโt even supposed to know, but I found out, and he found out, and he wasnโt even angry! He didnโt slit her throat, didnโt carve up her pretty little face until the boys didnโt want her anymore. She was pregnant, and he was happy.
โAnd then she left. In the middle of the night. She woke me up, and she kissed me, and she told me she was leaving. She told me she wasnโt ever coming back, that she wouldnโt raise a baby in this house, that our daddy wouldnโt ever lay a finger onย you.โ Lockeโs knucklesโmy auntโs knucklesโ tightened around the base of the blade. Her hand shook. โI begged her to take me with her, but she said she couldnโt. That heโd come after us. That she didnโt have any legal right to take me. That it would beย too hard. She left me there to rot, and once she was gone, the only person left for him to punish was me.โ
Donโt do anything else that Iโll be forced to make you regret.ย Youโll only be hurting yourself.
I wonโt have you sniveling on the floor like a common whore.
My mother had never talked about her family. Sheโd never mentioned an abusive father or an absent mother. Sheโd never mentioned a little sister, but now I couldย seeย their family unit: the bruises and the welts and the terror, the Daddy-monster, the little sister that she couldnโt save, and the baby that she could.
โWhen people ask me why I do what I do,โ the woman who was that baby sister said, โI tell them that I went into the FBI because a loved one was murdered. Iโd finally gotten out of that house. I went to college, and I spent years looking for my big sister. At first, I just wanted to find her. I just wanted to be with herโand with you. If sheโd taken me with you, I could have helped! You would have loved me. I would have loved you.โ Lockeโs voice got very soft, and I realized that this was a scenario sheโd played out in her head, growing up in that hellhole. Sheโd thought about my mom, and sheโd thought about me before she ever met me, before she ever knew my name.
โShe shouldnโt have left you there.โ I braved saying the words because they felt true. Locke was just a kid when my mother left, and my mom had never even looked back. Sheโd raised me on the road, moving from city to city, never letting it slip that she had a family out there, just like sheโd never mentioned my dad.
My whole life, weโd been running from something, and I didnโt even know
it.
โShe never should have left me there,โ Locke repeated. โEventually, I
stopped dreaming about finding her and being a family again, and I started dreaming about finding her and hurting her, the way Daddy hurt me. Making her pay for leaving me there. Peeling her face off until no one thought she was the pretty one, until just looking at her madeย youย scream.โ
The dressing room. The blood. The smellย โฆ
โBut by the time I found herโby the time I found youโit was too late.
She was already dead. She was gone, and it wasnโt fair.ย Iย was supposed to kill her.ย Iย was supposed to be the one.โ
My aunt hadnโt killed my motherโbecause someone else had gotten there first.
โWhen I found out that she was dead, and you were gone, when I found out that theyโd sent you to live with yourย fatherโsย familyโI was your family, too! I thought about taking you. I even went to Colorado, but when I got there, there was this junkie at my motel. She was cheap and loose and dirty, and her hair was the exact right shade of red. I killed her, and I said, โHow do you like that, Lore?โ I carved her up until I could imagine Lorelaiโs face underneath, and God, it felt good.โ She paused. โIt was the sweetest, you know. The first time. It always is. And after the first time, you always need more.โ
โIs that why you joined the FBI?โ I asked. โLots of travel, easy access, the perfect cover?โ
Agent Locke took a step toward me. Every muscle in her body was taut. For a moment, I thought that she would hit meโagain and again and again.
โNo,โ she said. โThatโs not why I joined.โ
When people ask me why I do what I do, I tell them that I went into the FBI because a loved one was murdered.
Lockeโs words came back to me then, and I realized that sheโd been telling the truth.
โYou joined the FBI because you wanted to find my motherโs killer.โ
Not because she was upset that my mom was dead. Because sheโd wanted to be the one to kill her.
โI changed my name. I studied. I planned. I passed the psych exams with flying colors. Even once Briggs and I started working together and he brought me in on the Naturals program, no one really saw me. They only saw what I wanted them to see. Lia never caught me in a lie. Michael never saw a hint of unsavory emotion. And DeanโI was like family to him.โ
Hearing Deanโs name made my eyes dart over to his body. He still wasnโt movingโbut Michael was. His eyes were open. He was bleeding. He couldnโt walk, he couldnโt even crawl, but he was pulling himself slowly across the floorโto his gun.
Locke moved to follow my gaze, but I stopped her.
โIt isnโt the same,โ I said, my voice decisive and calm.
โWhat isnโt?โ Lockeโno, her name wasnโt really Locke, not if she was my motherโs sisterโsaid.
I had less than a second to think of an answer, but growing up the daughter of a woman who made her living by pretending to be psychic hadnโt just taught me the BPEs. For better or worse, Iโd learned to put on a show, so I said the one thing I could think of that would keep Laceyย Hobbesโs attention focused solely and 100 percent on me.
โYou tried to restage my motherโs murder, but you got it wrong. What youโre doing to these women isnโt the same as whatย Iย did to my mother.โ
The woman in front of me had wanted to kill my mother, but sheโd also desperately wanted her acceptance. Sheโd wanted to be a part of a family, and sheโd brought me here tonight with some twisted hope that I could be that for her. Sheโd enjoyed being my mentor. She wanted me to be like her.
Now my job was to convince her that I was.
โMy mother didnโt protect you,โ I said, mirroring the rage and desperation and hurt I saw on her face. โShe didnโt protect me, either. There were men.
She didnโt love them. She didnโt stay with them. She didnโt say a word when they took their frustrations out on me. She was weak. She was a whore. Sheย hurtย me.โ
Lia would have known I was lying, but the woman in front of me wasnโt Lia. I smiled, letting the expression spread slowly across my face, keeping my eyes on my aunt, never looking, even for a second, at Michael.
โSo I hurt her.โ
My aunt stared at me, her face still twisted in disbelief, but her eyes wistful with longing.
โShe was getting ready. Putting on her lipstick. Pretending she was so perfect and so special, that she wasnโt a monster. I said her name. She turned around, and I took my knife. I plunged it into her stomach. She said my name. That was it. Just โCassie.โ So I stabbed her again. And again. She fought. She kicked and she screamed, but this time, I was the one with the power. I was the one doing the hurting, and she was the one getting hurt. She fell on her stomach. I flipped her over so I could see her face. I didnโt drag the knife over her cheekbones. I didnโt carve her up. I dipped my fingers into her side. I made her scream. And then I painted her lips with blood.โ
Lockeโno, HobbesโLaceyย was captivated. For a single second, I thought she might believe me. Her knife hand hung loosely by her side. Her other hand reached into her pocket. She pulled something outโI couldnโt see what. She fingered it for a momentโgingerly, carefullyโand then she crushed her fingers into a fist.
โAn excellent performance,โ she said. โBut Iโm a profiler, too. Iโve been doing this a lot longer than you have, Cassie, and your mother wasnโt killed by a twelve-year-old girl. Youโre not a killer. You donโt have what it takes.โ
She lifted the knife and started forward, the longing in her eyes turning to something else.
Bloodlust.
โYouโre not going to get away with this,โ I said, dropping the act as she advanced on me. โTheyโll know it was you. Theyโll catch youโโ
โNo,โ Locke corrected.ย โIโllย catch Dean. You called me from his phone. I was worried, but when I called the house, you werenโt there. Everyone went into an uproar. They found out Dean was missing, too, and that heโd stolen Briggsโs guns. I tracked you down. I found Dean here with Genevieve.ย Heย shot Michael.ย Heย carved you up. Iโm the heroic agent who stopped him, who figured out that the DC murders were the work of a copycat with access to our system, unrelated to the other murders altogether. I was too late to save you, but I did manage to kill Dean before he could kill me. Like father, like son.
โDid you really think you could win?โ she asked. โDid you think you could fool me?โ
Behind her, Michael had the gun in his hand. He rolled onto his side. He aimed.
โI never expected you to believe me,โ I said. โOr to let me live. I just needed you to listen.โ
Her eyes met mine. They widened. A gunshot went off. Then two, then three, four, five. And my aunt Lacey fell to the floor, her body splayed out next to Genevieve.
Dead.