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Chapter no 37

The Naturals

Locke stood up. She kicked Genevieveโ€™s body to the side, like the girl was already dead, even though the gasping, whimpering sounds the dying girl made told me she was not. Lockeโ€™s gun was on the floor, forgotten, but the way she was holding the knife as she stepped toward me told me that I wasnโ€™t any safer than Iโ€™d been a moment before.

She was going to cut me.

She was going to slice me open. She was going to kill me.

โ€œYouโ€™re a liar,โ€ she said. โ€œYou couldnโ€™t do it. Do you even want to? Do you?โ€

She was screaming now. I took a step backward. I opened my mouth to tell her what she wanted to hear, to tell her that I did want it, to stall for time, but she never gave me the chance. Looking at me over the blade, she took another step forward.

โ€œYou were supposed to kill her,โ€ she said. โ€œI got her forย you.โ€ โ€œIโ€™m sorryโ€”โ€

โ€œโ€˜Sorryโ€™ never did anything!ย Lorelaiย was sorry. She was sorry, but she had to go, and she left me there alone.โ€ Lockeโ€™s voice broke, but the fury was still clear in every word. โ€œYou were supposed to kill the girl. It was supposed to beย us, Cassie. You. And me. Butย you left!โ€

She wasnโ€™t talking to me anymore. She didnโ€™t seeย meย when her wild eyes landed on mine. The blade in her hand gleamed. The blood dripped onto the floor. I had two seconds, maybe three.

โ€œWhat do you mean, I left?โ€ I asked, hoping my words would break through the fog in her brain, bring her back to the here and now. โ€œLeft where?โ€

Locke stopped. She hesitated. She looked at me. She saw me. She got ahold of herself, and with her voice still full of venom, she advanced. โ€œLorelai left. She was eighteen, and I was twelve. She was supposed to protect me. She was supposed to watch out for me. At night, when Daddy went away and the monster came out to play, she made him angry. She made him angry on purpose so heโ€™d hit her instead of me. She said she wouldnโ€™t let anything happen to me.โ€ Locke paused. โ€œShe lied.โ€

Weโ€™d known that the UNSUB was fixated on my mother. We just hadnโ€™t known why.

โ€œShe was my sister, and she just left me there. She knew what he was like after Mama left. She knew what he would do to me once she was gone, and

she left anyway. Because ofย you. Because Daddy was right, and Lorelai was a little whore. She did all the wrong things, and when I found out she was pregnant with that air force boyโ€™s baby โ€ฆโ€ Locke was completely caught up in the memory. I eyed her gun on the floor, wondering if I could reach it in time. โ€œI thought that Daddy would kill her if he knew.ย Iย wasnโ€™t even supposed to know, but I found out, and he found out, and he wasnโ€™t even angry! He didnโ€™t slit her throat, didnโ€™t carve up her pretty little face until the boys didnโ€™t want her anymore. She was pregnant, and he was happy.

โ€œAnd then she left. In the middle of the night. She woke me up, and she kissed me, and she told me she was leaving. She told me she wasnโ€™t ever coming back, that she wouldnโ€™t raise a baby in this house, that our daddy wouldnโ€™t ever lay a finger onย you.โ€ Lockeโ€™s knucklesโ€”my auntโ€™s knucklesโ€” tightened around the base of the blade. Her hand shook. โ€œI begged her to take me with her, but she said she couldnโ€™t. That heโ€™d come after us. That she didnโ€™t have any legal right to take me. That it would beย too hard. She left me there to rot, and once she was gone, the only person left for him to punish was me.โ€

Donโ€™t do anything else that Iโ€™ll be forced to make you regret.ย Youโ€™ll only be hurting yourself.

I wonโ€™t have you sniveling on the floor like a common whore.

My mother had never talked about her family. Sheโ€™d never mentioned an abusive father or an absent mother. Sheโ€™d never mentioned a little sister, but now I couldย seeย their family unit: the bruises and the welts and the terror, the Daddy-monster, the little sister that she couldnโ€™t save, and the baby that she could.

โ€œWhen people ask me why I do what I do,โ€ the woman who was that baby sister said, โ€œI tell them that I went into the FBI because a loved one was murdered. Iโ€™d finally gotten out of that house. I went to college, and I spent years looking for my big sister. At first, I just wanted to find her. I just wanted to be with herโ€”and with you. If sheโ€™d taken me with you, I could have helped! You would have loved me. I would have loved you.โ€ Lockeโ€™s voice got very soft, and I realized that this was a scenario sheโ€™d played out in her head, growing up in that hellhole. Sheโ€™d thought about my mom, and sheโ€™d thought about me before she ever met me, before she ever knew my name.

โ€œShe shouldnโ€™t have left you there.โ€ I braved saying the words because they felt true. Locke was just a kid when my mother left, and my mom had never even looked back. Sheโ€™d raised me on the road, moving from city to city, never letting it slip that she had a family out there, just like sheโ€™d never mentioned my dad.

My whole life, weโ€™d been running from something, and I didnโ€™t even know

it.

โ€œShe never should have left me there,โ€ Locke repeated. โ€œEventually, I

stopped dreaming about finding her and being a family again, and I started dreaming about finding her and hurting her, the way Daddy hurt me. Making her pay for leaving me there. Peeling her face off until no one thought she was the pretty one, until just looking at her madeย youย scream.โ€

The dressing room. The blood. The smellย โ€ฆ

โ€œBut by the time I found herโ€”by the time I found youโ€”it was too late.

She was already dead. She was gone, and it wasnโ€™t fair.ย Iย was supposed to kill her.ย Iย was supposed to be the one.โ€

My aunt hadnโ€™t killed my motherโ€”because someone else had gotten there first.

โ€œWhen I found out that she was dead, and you were gone, when I found out that theyโ€™d sent you to live with yourย fatherโ€™sย familyโ€”I was your family, too! I thought about taking you. I even went to Colorado, but when I got there, there was this junkie at my motel. She was cheap and loose and dirty, and her hair was the exact right shade of red. I killed her, and I said, โ€˜How do you like that, Lore?โ€™ I carved her up until I could imagine Lorelaiโ€™s face underneath, and God, it felt good.โ€ She paused. โ€œIt was the sweetest, you know. The first time. It always is. And after the first time, you always need more.โ€

โ€œIs that why you joined the FBI?โ€ I asked. โ€œLots of travel, easy access, the perfect cover?โ€

Agent Locke took a step toward me. Every muscle in her body was taut. For a moment, I thought that she would hit meโ€”again and again and again.

โ€œNo,โ€ she said. โ€œThatโ€™s not why I joined.โ€

When people ask me why I do what I do, I tell them that I went into the FBI because a loved one was murdered.

Lockeโ€™s words came back to me then, and I realized that sheโ€™d been telling the truth.

โ€œYou joined the FBI because you wanted to find my motherโ€™s killer.โ€

Not because she was upset that my mom was dead. Because sheโ€™d wanted to be the one to kill her.

โ€œI changed my name. I studied. I planned. I passed the psych exams with flying colors. Even once Briggs and I started working together and he brought me in on the Naturals program, no one really saw me. They only saw what I wanted them to see. Lia never caught me in a lie. Michael never saw a hint of unsavory emotion. And Deanโ€”I was like family to him.โ€

Hearing Deanโ€™s name made my eyes dart over to his body. He still wasnโ€™t movingโ€”but Michael was. His eyes were open. He was bleeding. He couldnโ€™t walk, he couldnโ€™t even crawl, but he was pulling himself slowly across the floorโ€”to his gun.

Locke moved to follow my gaze, but I stopped her.

โ€œIt isnโ€™t the same,โ€ I said, my voice decisive and calm.

โ€œWhat isnโ€™t?โ€ Lockeโ€”no, her name wasnโ€™t really Locke, not if she was my motherโ€™s sisterโ€”said.

I had less than a second to think of an answer, but growing up the daughter of a woman who made her living by pretending to be psychic hadnโ€™t just taught me the BPEs. For better or worse, Iโ€™d learned to put on a show, so I said the one thing I could think of that would keep Laceyย Hobbesโ€™s attention focused solely and 100 percent on me.

โ€œYou tried to restage my motherโ€™s murder, but you got it wrong. What youโ€™re doing to these women isnโ€™t the same as whatย Iย did to my mother.โ€

The woman in front of me had wanted to kill my mother, but sheโ€™d also desperately wanted her acceptance. Sheโ€™d wanted to be a part of a family, and sheโ€™d brought me here tonight with some twisted hope that I could be that for her. Sheโ€™d enjoyed being my mentor. She wanted me to be like her.

Now my job was to convince her that I was.

โ€œMy mother didnโ€™t protect you,โ€ I said, mirroring the rage and desperation and hurt I saw on her face. โ€œShe didnโ€™t protect me, either. There were men.

She didnโ€™t love them. She didnโ€™t stay with them. She didnโ€™t say a word when they took their frustrations out on me. She was weak. She was a whore. Sheย hurtย me.โ€

Lia would have known I was lying, but the woman in front of me wasnโ€™t Lia. I smiled, letting the expression spread slowly across my face, keeping my eyes on my aunt, never looking, even for a second, at Michael.

โ€œSo I hurt her.โ€

My aunt stared at me, her face still twisted in disbelief, but her eyes wistful with longing.

โ€œShe was getting ready. Putting on her lipstick. Pretending she was so perfect and so special, that she wasnโ€™t a monster. I said her name. She turned around, and I took my knife. I plunged it into her stomach. She said my name. That was it. Just โ€˜Cassie.โ€™ So I stabbed her again. And again. She fought. She kicked and she screamed, but this time, I was the one with the power. I was the one doing the hurting, and she was the one getting hurt. She fell on her stomach. I flipped her over so I could see her face. I didnโ€™t drag the knife over her cheekbones. I didnโ€™t carve her up. I dipped my fingers into her side. I made her scream. And then I painted her lips with blood.โ€

Lockeโ€”no, Hobbesโ€”Laceyย was captivated. For a single second, I thought she might believe me. Her knife hand hung loosely by her side. Her other hand reached into her pocket. She pulled something outโ€”I couldnโ€™t see what. She fingered it for a momentโ€”gingerly, carefullyโ€”and then she crushed her fingers into a fist.

โ€œAn excellent performance,โ€ she said. โ€œBut Iโ€™m a profiler, too. Iโ€™ve been doing this a lot longer than you have, Cassie, and your mother wasnโ€™t killed by a twelve-year-old girl. Youโ€™re not a killer. You donโ€™t have what it takes.โ€

She lifted the knife and started forward, the longing in her eyes turning to something else.

Bloodlust.

โ€œYouโ€™re not going to get away with this,โ€ I said, dropping the act as she advanced on me. โ€œTheyโ€™ll know it was you. Theyโ€™ll catch youโ€”โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Locke corrected.ย โ€œIโ€™llย catch Dean. You called me from his phone. I was worried, but when I called the house, you werenโ€™t there. Everyone went into an uproar. They found out Dean was missing, too, and that heโ€™d stolen Briggsโ€™s guns. I tracked you down. I found Dean here with Genevieve.ย Heย shot Michael.ย Heย carved you up. Iโ€™m the heroic agent who stopped him, who figured out that the DC murders were the work of a copycat with access to our system, unrelated to the other murders altogether. I was too late to save you, but I did manage to kill Dean before he could kill me. Like father, like son.

โ€œDid you really think you could win?โ€ she asked. โ€œDid you think you could fool me?โ€

Behind her, Michael had the gun in his hand. He rolled onto his side. He aimed.

โ€œI never expected you to believe me,โ€ I said. โ€œOr to let me live. I just needed you to listen.โ€

Her eyes met mine. They widened. A gunshot went off. Then two, then three, four, five. And my aunt Lacey fell to the floor, her body splayed out next to Genevieve.

Dead.

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