The next day, I could barely look at Lia. The game Iโd played the night before was one my younger self had played with strangers: children Iโd met in diners, people who had come to my motherโs shows. They were never real to meโand neither were the things Iโd imagined once Iโd mentally tried on their shoes. But now I had to wonder how much of it was really imagination and how much of it was my subconscious working its way through Liaโs BPE.
Had I imagined that Lia was messyโor had I profiled it?
โThereโs cereal in the cabinet and eggs in the fridge,โ Judd greeted me from behind a newspaper as I wandered into the kitchen, still debating that question. โIโm making a grocery run at oh-nine-hundred. If youโve got requests, speak now or forever hold your peace.โ
โNo requests,โ I said.
โLow maintenance,โ Judd commented. I shrugged. โI try.โ
Judd folded his paper, carried an empty mug to the sink, and rinsed it out. A minute laterโat nine oโclock on the dotโI was alone in the kitchen. As I poured myself a bowl of cereal, I went back to trying to work my way through the logic of my Lia simulation, to figure out how I knew what I knew
โand if I knew it at all.
โI have no idea what those Cheerios did to you, but Iโm sure theyโre very, very sorry,โ Michael said as he slid into the seat next to me at the kitchen table.
โExcuse me?โ
โYouโve been stirring them into submission for a good five minutes,โ Michael told me. โItโs spoon violence, is what it is.โ
I picked up a Cheerio and flicked it at him. Michael caught it and popped it into his mouth.
โSo which one of us was it this time?โ Michael asked. Suddenly, I became very interested in my Cheerios.
โCome on, Colorado. When your brain starts profiling, your face starts broadcasting a mix of concentration, curiosity, and calm.โ Michael paused. I took a big bite of cereal. โThe muscles in your neck relax,โ he continued. โYour lips turn ever so subtly down. Your head tilts slightly to one side, and you get crowโs-feet at the corners of your eyes.โ
I set my spoon calmly in my bowl. โI do not get crowโs-feet.โ
Michael helped himself to my spoonโand a bite of cereal. โAnyone ever tell you youโre cute when youโre annoyed?โ
โI hope Iโm not interrupting.โ Lia came in, stole the cereal box, and started eating right out of the carton. โActually, thatโs not true. Whateverโs going on here, I am absolutely delighted to interrupt it.โ
I tried to keep myself from studying Liaโand I definitely tried to keep from wrinkling the corners of my eyesโbut it was hard to ignore the fact that she was wearing barely-there silk pajamas. And pearls.
โSo, Cassie, are you ready for your first day of How to Crawl into the Skulls of Bad Guys 101?โ Lia set the cereal box down and headed for the fridge. Her head disappeared into the refrigerator as she started digging around. Her pajama bottoms left very little to the imagination.
โIโm ready,โ I said, averting my eyes.
โCassie was born ready,โ Michael declared. Over in the refrigerator, Lia stopped rummaging for a moment. โBesides,โ Michael continued, โwhatever Agent Locke has her doing, it has to be better than watching foreign-language films. Without the subtitles.โ
I bit back a smile at the aggrieved tone in Michaelโs voice. โIs that what they had you do on your first day?โ
โThat,โ Michael said, โis what they had me do for my firstย month. โEmotions arenโt about what people say,โโ he mimicked, โโtheyโre about posture, facial expressions, and culture-specific instantiations of universal phenomenological experiences.โโ
Lia exited the refrigerator with empty hands, shut the door, and opened the freezer. โPoor baby,โ she told Michael. โIโve been here for almost three years, and the only thing theyโve taught me is that psychopaths are really good liars, and FBI agents are really bad ones.โ
โHave you met many?โ I asked.
โFBI agents?โ Lia feigned ignorance as she retrieved a carton of mint- chocolate-chip ice cream from the freezer.
I gave her a look. โPsychopaths.โ
She grabbed a spoon out of the drawer and brandished it like a magic wand. โThe FBI hides us away in a nice little house in a nice little neighborhood in a nice little town. Do you really think Briggs is going to let me tag along on prison interviews? Or go into the field, where I might actually get toย doย something?โ
Michael put Liaโs words in slightly more diplomatic terms. โThe Bureau has tapes,โ he said. โAnd reels and transcripts. Cold cases, mostly. Things that other people havenโt ever been able to solve. And for every cold case they bring us, there are dozens of cases that theyโve already solved. Tests to see if we really are as good as Agent Briggs says we are.โ
โEven when you give them the answer theyโre looking for,โ Lia continued, picking up right where Michael left off, โeven when the Powers That Be know that youโre right, they want to know why.โ
Why what?ย This time, I didnโt ask the question out loudโbut Michael answered it anyway.
โWhy we can do it and they canโt.โ He reached over and snagged another bite of my Cheerios. โThey donโt just want to train us. They donโt just want to use us. They want toย beย us.โ
โAbsolutely,โ a new voice concurred. โDeep down, in my heart of hearts, all I really want is to be Michael Townsend.โ
Agent Locke strolled into the kitchen and went straight for the fridge.
Clearly she was at home here, even if she lived somewhere else.
โBriggs left files for you twoโโAgent Locke gestured to Michael and Lia
โโin his study. Heโs going to run a new simulation with Sloane today, andย Iโmย going to start catching Cassie up to speed.โ She heaved a larger-than-life sigh. โItโs not as glamorous as being a jaded seventeen-year-old boy with parental issues and a hair-gel dependency, butย cโest la vie.โ
Michael reached up to scratch the side of his faceโand oh-so-subtly flipped Agent Locke off in the process.
Lia twirled her spoon around her finger, a tiny, ice-cream-laden baton. โLacey Locke, everybody,โ she said, like the FBI agent was a comedian and Lia the announcer.
Locke grinned. โDoesnโt Judd have a rule about you wearing lingerie in the kitchen?โ she asked, eyeing Liaโs pajamas. Lia shrugged, but something about Agent Lockeโs presence seemed to subdue her. Within minutes, my fellow Naturals had scattered. Neither Lia nor Michael seemed anxious to spend time in the company of an FBI profiler.
โI hope theyโre not making life too difficult on you,โ Locke said.
โNo.โ In fact, for a moment there, eating with the two of them, talking to them, had felt natural.
No pun intended.
โNeither Michael nor Lia was given much of a choice about joining the program.โ Locke waited for that to sink in. โThat tends to put a chip on a personโs shoulder.โ
โTheyโre not the type to respond well to being strong-armed,โ I said slowly.
โNo,โ Agent Locke replied. โThey arenโt. Iโve made a lot of mistakes, but that wasnโt one of mine. Briggs lacks a certain amount of โฆย finesse. Guy never met a square peg he didnโt want to pound into a round hole.โ
That description fit with my impression of Agent Briggs exactly. Agent Locke was speaking my language, but I didnโt have time to relish that fact.
Because Dean was standing in the doorway.
Agent Locke saw him and nodded. โRight on time.โ โOn time for what?โ I asked.
Dean answered on Agent Lockeโs behalf, but unlike the red-haired agent,
he wasnโt smiling. He wasnโt friendly. He didnโt want to be thereโand unless I was mistaken, he didnโt like me.
โFor your first lesson.โ