After an eight-hour shift, my body was bone tired, but my mind was whirring. I wanted to shut myself in my room, collapse on my bed, and figure out what the Hello Kitty had happened that afternoon.
Unfortunately, it was Sunday.
“There she is! Cassie, we were just about to send the boys out looking for you.” My aunt Tasha was among the more reasonable of my father’s various siblings, so she didn’t wink and ask me if I’d found myself a boyfriend to occupy my time.
That was Uncle Rio’s job. “Our little heartbreaker, eh? You out there breaking hearts? Of course she is!”
I’d been a regular fixture at Sunday night dinners ever since Social Services had dropped me off on my father’s doorstep—metaphorically, thank God—when I was twelve. After five years, I still hadn’t ever heard Uncle Rio ask a question that he did not immediately proceed to answer himself.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said. This was a well-established script, and that was my line. “Promise.”
“What are we talking about?” one of Uncle Rio’s sons asked, plopping himself down on the living room sofa, dangling his legs over the side.
“Cassie’s boyfriend,” Uncle Rio replied.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have a boyfriend.” “Cassie’s secret boyfriend,” Uncle Rio amended.
“I think you have me confused with Sofia and Kate,” I said. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have thrown any of my female cousins under the bus, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “They’re far more likely to have secret boyfriends than I am.”
“Bah,” Uncle Rio said. “Sofia’s boyfriends are never secret.”
And on it went—good-natured ribbing, family jokes. I played the part, letting their energy infect me, saying what they wanted me to say, smiling the smiles they wanted to see. It was warm and safe and happy—but it wasn’t me.
It never was.
As soon as I was sure I wouldn’t be missed, I ducked into the kitchen. “Cassandra. Good.” My grandmother, elbow-deep in flour, her gray hair
pulled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, gave me a warm smile. “How was work?”
Despite her little-old-lady appearance, Nonna ruled the entire family like a general directing her troops. Right now, I was the one drifting out of formation.
“Work was work,” I said. “Not bad.”
“But not good, either?” She narrowed her eyes.
If I didn’t play this right, I’d have ten job offers within the hour. Family took care of family—even when “family” was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
“Today was actually decent,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. “Someone left me a twelve-dollar tip.”
And also, I added silently, a business card from the FBI. “Good,” Nonna said. “That is good. You had a good day.”
“Yeah, Nonna,” I said, crossing the room to kiss her cheek, because I knew it would make her happy. “It was a good day.”
By the time everyone cleared out at nine, the card felt like lead in my pocket. I tried to help Nonna with the dishes, but she shooed me upstairs. In the quiet of my own room, I could feel the energy draining out of me, like air out of a slowly wilting balloon.
I sat down on my bed and then let myself fall backward. The old springs groaned with the impact, and I closed my eyes. My right hand found its way to my pocket, and I pulled out the card.
It was a joke. It had to be. That was why the pretty, country-club boy had felt off to me. That was why he’d taken an interest—to mock me.
But he didn’t really seem the type.
I opened my eyes and looked at the card. This time, I let myself read it out loud. “Special Agent Tanner Briggs. Federal Bureau of Investigation.”
A few hours in my pocket hadn’t changed the text on the card. FBI?
Seriously? Who was this guy trying to kid? He’d looked sixteen, seventeen, max.
Not like a special agent.
Just special. I couldn’t push that thought down, and my eyes flitted reflexively toward the mirror on my wall. It was one of the great ironies of my life that I’d inherited all of my mother’s features, but none of the magic with which they’d come together on her face. She’d been beautiful. I was odd
—odd-looking, oddly quiet, always the odd one out.
Even after five years, I still couldn’t think of my mother without thinking of the last time I’d seen her, shooing me out of her dressing room, a wide smile on her face. Then I thought about coming back to the dressing room. About the blood—on the floor, on the walls, on the mirror. I hadn’t been gone long. I’d opened the door—
“Snap out of it,” I told myself. I sat up and pushed my back up against the headboard, unable to quit thinking about the smell of blood and that moment of knowing it was my mother’s and praying it wasn’t.
What if that was what this was about? What if the card wasn’t a joke?
What if the FBI was looking into my mother’s murder?
It’s been five years, I told myself. But the case was still open. My mother’s body had never been found. Based on the amount of blood, that was what the police had been looking for from the beginning.
A body.
I turned the business card over in my hands. On the back, there was a handwritten note.
Cassandra, it said, PLEASE CALL.
That was it. My name, and then the directive to call, in capital letters. No explanation. No nothing.
Below those words, someone else had scribbled a second set of instructions in small, sharp letters—barely readable. I traced my finger over the letters and thought about the boy from the diner.
Maybe he wasn’t the special agent.
So that makes him what? The messenger?
I didn’t have an answer, but the words scrawled across the bottom of the card stood out to me, every bit as much as Special Agent Tanner Briggs’s PLEASE CALL.
If I were you, I wouldn’t.
YOU
You’re good at waiting. Waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the right girl. You have her now, and still, you’re waiting. Waiting for her to wake up. Waiting for her to open those eyes and see you.
Waiting for her to scream. And scream.
And scream.
And realize that no one can hear her but you.
You know how this will go, how she’ll be angry, then scared, then swear up and down that if you let her go, she won’t tell a soul. She’ll lie to you, and she’ll try to manipulate you, and you’ll have to show her—the way you’ve showed so many others—how that just won’t do.
But not yet. Right now, she’s still sleeping. Beautiful—but not as beautiful as she will be when you’re done.
