“ P o God, don’t start with me.” I break the side of my hand mixer for the fifth time tonight. Between overheating from overuse and its old age, I’m lucky the engine still runs.
I haven’t been able to part with the baking tool, especially since my mom bought it for me, but I would kill for one of those fancy mixers right now. I had one once, but it broke and I was never able to buy a new one because most of my money was spent making sure Cami had everything she needed.
I wish they didn’t cost more than half a salary.
“This pod.” I keep banging on the side of the mixer. Someone laughs.
I look up to find Cal standing in the kitchen doorway with a smile. “All good?”
“Having the time of my life, thanks for asking.” He gestures towards the blender in my hand. “Need help?”
“I have it.” In a final act of betrayal, the flat metal beaters spin twice before stopping completely. I place it on the other side of the counter to avoid doing something I might regret.
“I could take a look at it if you want.” She reaches for the mixer.
Don’t worry about that. “I have enough buttercream to finish the last few cupcakes.”
“Is that guava frosting?” Cal’s voice reaches an awkward high pitch. He reaches for the mixing bowl next to me with bright eyes, but I smack his hand.
She pouts, reminding me a lot of Cami. “Come on. Just let me try some.”
“No. That’s unsanitary.”
His eyes roll. “Nobody will know.”
“My students may not, but I will.”
“So? Aren’t these the same kids who eat dirt every day?” “That only happened once while I was subbing.”
He leans against the counter with a smile. “What do you teach now?” “Spanish.” I turn my attention back to frosting the cupcake in front of me. Maybe if I act like she’s not interested in talking to him, then Cal will leave.
“Do you like it?”
“It pays well.” Being the only Spanish teacher in all of Lake Wisteria has its perks, especially when kids need private tutoring for finals and advanced placement exams.
“You didn’t really answer my question.”
Damn it.
“I don’t mind”. Sure, it’s not my dream job per se, but the kids are cute and I can go home at three in the afternoon, which is a big plus.
He scans the kitchen counters, eyeing the hundred cupcakes. “So what’s the special occasion?”
So much for him to leave.
My hand gripping the piping bag tightens. A drop of frosting falls on the half-finished cupcake, ruining my design.
“We are celebrating the last week of school.” I scoop the failed frosting off the cupcake with my index finger and walk to the sink to rinse it off. Cal grabs my hand and pulls me away from the sink. My chest hits against his, stealing my breath.
I try to push him away. “What are you doing?”
“Something I can’t resist.” The twinkle in her eye should come with a warning label.
No.
“Cal…” The breathy way I say his name only seems to encourage him. Cal clicks his tongue at me like a child. “Your mom taught us better than to waste any food.” She lifts my hand to her mouth. Her eyes take mine hostage, casting a spell over me as her lips close around my ice-covered finger. Every cell in my body explodes when her tongue brushes against my skin.
Cal makes sure to take his time, dragging his tongue up and down my finger, cleaning away all traces of the cherry. Every stroke of his tongue acts as a shock to my body.
All of this is the longest and shortest five seconds of my life. I try to free my wrist from his grip and fail. Her fingers on my wrist tighten before releasing me, and my hand falls to my side like a pendulum. “What the hell?” She pushed him in the chest.
He doesn’t move an inch, though he makes a point to lick his lips unpleasantly. You taste better than I remember.
Ta. Not the icing. you _
I choke on his words, my sharp inhale making me cough. “Are you OK?”
I take a step back, adding some distance between us. “No, I’m not
Well “.
“You’re upset.”
I throw my hands in the air. “Of course I’m upset! You just…” “What?” He actually smiles .
The oaf
“He sucked my finger!”
Cal bursts out laughing, his neck snapping back from the intensity of his amusement.
Did you suck my finger?
Of all the stupid ways you could have said that… My cheeks flush. Cal’s laugh doesn’t help anything, it only makes my blush worse.
“I’d love to suck your thumb again if you’ll let me,” he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.
Wait a second, I’m staring at him. The next, I’m throwing one of my cupcakes right into her stupid mouth. He misses completely when he hits her cheek.
His laughter stops as his eyes widen. “Did you just throw a cupcake at me?”
My response dies in my throat as the cupcake slides down his cheek, leaving a trail of buttercream in his beard before hitting the floor.
I burst into a fit of laughter that makes my lungs burn and my eyes water.
He wipes his cheek with his thumb. “I’d run if I were you.” “Why would I run?”
He devours me with his eyes while he puts his thumb in his mouth. “One…”
My eyes roll. “Seriously, leave it. I need to get back to work. I gesture toward all the cupcakes that still need icing.
“Two…” She takes a finished cupcake from the Tupperware and twirls it in her hand.
“You would not dare”.
The smile on his face makes my body shake with excitement. “You know what happens when you dare me to do something.”
Hell no.
He takes advantage and launches himself while I’m distracted. I jump out of the way and run out of the kitchen before he can get his hands on me. Cal and I spent years perfecting our game of tag, so now I’m an expert at how to evade him. The mansion is like a maze of long hallways and rooms. My lungs heave as I make my way down the main hallway before turning left, my heart rate skyrocketing as I run through the house.
My socks don’t give me the best grip, and I slide on the hardwood when I turn a corner.
He may be smarter, but Cal is faster, making it easier for him to catch up to me despite my efforts to lose him.
His arm wraps around my waist. The next thing I know, I’m being picked up and pressed against a wall.
“Didn’t your mom teach us that it’s not nice to play with our food?” Her smile makes my heart race in my chest.
My eyes narrow into two slits. “You started.”
“Then it’s only fair that I finish it.” He lifts the cupcake toward my face. Callahan Percival Kane, I swear to God if…
He proceeds to press the cupcake to my cheek with a sinister smile. “I hate you!” I scream as she slides it across my skin, wiping the buttercream all over the cupcake.
“To think that they say that revenge is not sweet.” “I’m going to kill you,” I raged.
“Then it might as well make it worth losing your life for.” Cal’s eyes darken at my challenge, the blue color slowly being consumed by black.
“What—” My sentence is cut off when he leans forward and runs his tongue along the frosting covering my cheek.
I might need someone to bring me back to life because there’s no way I’m getting out of this alive. My knees buckle, but Cal’s arm acts as a band around my waist, keeping me from falling.
He stops to lick his lips, wiping away the light pink frosting. Her eyes close for a second, and I take advantage. I pick up the huge lump of frosting on my cheek and wipe it across her stupid smile.
His eyes snap open.
“You’re okay. Revenge is sweet. I smile so wide my cheeks hurt.
His eyes fall to my lips. It’s the only warning I get before her mouth hits mine.
Holy shit.
Everything about our kiss is desperate. Passionate. acquaintance _
His lips are a fuse, making my entire body light up like the midnight sky on New Year’s Eve. Our bodies mold together, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He grabs my hips with enough pressure to leave marks on my skin.
I sink my hands into his hair and pull hard enough to make him gasp. My tongue darts out to trace the glaze on his lips, and Cal grinds into me with a moan. The muscles in my stomach tighten from the pressure of his arousal. I sigh, and he takes advantage. His tongue plunges into my mouth, teasing me until I’m nothing more than a moaning mess.
The sweetest thing about our kiss is the cherry that remains on his tongue. The last bit of his restraint breaks, and the real Cal comes out. His fingers dig into my scalp as he kisses me like he’s fucking, a savage with a single mission in mind.
Making me come.
As if reading my mind, his hand trails to the hem of my shirt. Her fingers brush against my stomach, drawing a sharp breath from me that she swallows with her lips.
The tips of his fingers cause goosebumps to spread across my skin.
“Mommy?” Cami’s voice echoes off the high ceilings before a nearby door slams shut.
My eyes open. Cal flies back, crushing the abandoned cupcake under her shoe. She turns back to the empty hallway before letting out a sharp exhale.
“Mommy, where are you?” Cami’s voice sounds closer this time.
Something changes inside him, the heat in his gaze quickly transforms into something else.
Regret.
I’ve seen all the signs before. Closed fists. Avoidance of eye contact. The way he runs his hand over his mouth, like he can erase the taste of me from his lips.
My heart sinks.
What did you think would happen if you kissed him?
Except I didn’t kiss him.
Well, you sure didn’t kiss him .
He runs a hand through his hair. “Alana…”
I’m not sure what triggers me more: the way he uses my full name to add some distance or how he can’t look me in the eye while saying it. I save myself the trouble of having to listen to him make up some kind of excuse, mainly because I’m not sure my heart can survive. “Let’s pretend that never happened.”
“But-“
“We both got lost in the moment. It’s not a big deal.”
“Right.” Her sharp exhale of relief pierces a hole in my heart.
“Can I have a cupcake?” Cami’s voice sounds closer this time. He looked down at the wrecked man on the ground with a sigh. “I better go…”
I pause pathetically, hoping he can say something . he does not
Instead of standing still, waiting for a possibility that will never happen, I turn around and walk away. The emptiness in my chest grows with every step away from him.
I spent years trying to fill the void Cal left me when he first abandoned me, and I’m not going to let one kiss ruin all my hard work. No matter how amazing that kiss was.
 |
Cal disappears back to the guest house, leaving me alone to replay our kiss in a hundred different ways. Somehow I finish the rest of the cupcakes, although the task becomes much less pleasant now that I can’t separate Cal from the taste of the guava frosting.
Shame clings to my every thought, making me question if I was the only one truly affected by the kiss.
Of course he was affected.
He just didn’t want to be.
I try to distract myself from my thoughts by watching a new episode of one of my favorite shows. It works for about ten minutes. Once the couple starts kissing, I lose all interest in continuing. Instead, I quickly switch to watching a procedural crime drama I’ve been following for the past few years.
Nothing screams comfort on television more than deranged serial killers.
My phone vibrates against the coffee table, so I unlock it and read the text Delilah sent in our group chat with Violet.
Delilah
Look who’s watching the latest episode of The Last Rose with me. Attached is a photo of her and Wyatt wearing face masks with the TV in the background. I don’t like that kind of reality TV, but the thought of having someone like that want to watch a favorite show with me makes my chest tighten. Delilah’s life is a far cry from my lonely night watching TV alone.
Then do something about it.
The idea of dating scares me almost as much as the idea of ending up alone. But if I continue to live in fear of what could go wrong, I will spend the rest of my life alone, reciting lines from a TV show by heart.
I deserve more than that for myself, and I plan to get back out there. I just don’t know when.
