โDid you have fun last night?โ Indy asks before inhaling her plate of vegetarian biscuits and gravy.
โUh…โ I hesitate. โIt was definitely interesting. Iโll say that.โ
I match her massive bite, filling my mouth with all the carbs I can manage from my favorite local spot in my hometown. Every item on the brunch menu is to die for, and itโs a must anytime Iโm back in Nashville.
Iโm sure Iโll be regretting this meal when Iโm visiting with my mother in a few hours and have to unbutton my jeans in order to sit down and breathe, but itโll be worth it.
โWhat was interesting about it?โ
Hmm. Let me think. Maybe that Evan Zanders, walking sex ad, told me he wants to fuck me. Right after he saved me from my inconsiderate high school friends who havenโt stopped blowing me up since his little PDA stunt last night.
Or maybe how he pinned me to the wall with his massive body, the bulge in his pants doing all sorts of things to me when it was pressed against the apex of my thighs.
Or how all of a sudden, this sweet side came out of the self-proclaimed โbad boy of Chicago,โ when he insisted on walking me back to my hotel.
Interesting might not be the right word for last night. Confusing?
Thrilling? Shocking?
I would love to spill all the details to Indy, seeing as Iโve been a ball of emotions since, but weโre coworkers, and the accidental interaction Zanders and I had last night is a fire-able offense.
โSeeing my old high school friends was interesting. Theyโre not the nicest, and I think last night was the closure I needed on our friendship.โ
โReally?โ Indy uses her napkin to wipe the edges of her lips. โThat sucks, Stevie. You donโt deserve friends like that.โ
โAll good.โ I shrug it off because it is all good. Iโve needed to cut ties with Hannah and Jackie for a while, and their blatant comments that they assumed were backhanded were my final straw. In the back of my mind, I always knew they kept me around as a connection to my brother. I just didnโt expect it to continue in a different capacity because of my new job. Ryan would be pissed if he knew about it. Which is precisely why Iโll keep that to myself, as I do most things my brother would get upset over.
โHow was your night?โ I ask.
โIt was pretty uneventful. I wanted to go out, but Iโm still new to this whole private charter thing, and Iโm not going to lie, that speech Tara gave us about fraternization was terrifying. I figured locking myself in my hotel room was a safe bet.โ
My stomach drops at the thought of Taraโs constant warnings and badgering about staying away from our clients when weโre off the clock. Clearly, Iโm not doing a great job of that, no matter how accidental my run- ins with Zanders have been.
โDo you happen to know what Tara did last night?โ I cautiously ask, looking down at my plate, and nervously pushing my food around. What if she was out last night? What if she saw me last night? What if she saw us last night?
This morning, I scoured the internet for any sign of a leaked photo of Zanders and me outside the bar, but his PR team certainly did their jobs, cleaning up any possible evidence of our interaction.
โProbably doing the exact thing she told us not to do. Iโd bet money she was running around looking for the guys from the team last night, acting desperate as hell.โ
My eyes dart up from my plate, amusement sweeping across my features as I look at Indyโs wide eyes and gaping mouth.
โOh fuck.โ She quickly slaps her palm over her mouth. โDid I say that out loud?โ
A moment of silence falls between us as we look to each other, testing the waters, unsure of where we each stand on the topic of our coworker. Until finally, I double over on my side of the booth, laughing my ass off.
Eventually, Indy joins in, both of us silent due to how hard we are cracking up right now.
โSheโs such a hypocrite.โ I wipe away the tear thatโs pooled at the corner of my eye.
โOh my God,โ Indy sighs in relief. โIโm so glad weโre on the same page because Iโve wanted to ask you for weeks.โ
โSheโs worried about us fraternizing with the players, but sheโs so thirsty when sheโs in the aisles talking to them, doing the exact thing she told us not to.โ I smile, thoroughly enjoying the boost of serotonin from that laugh attack. โBut regardless, itโs not worth the risk of losing our jobs.โ
โIs it not?โ Indy questions, cocking her head to the side. โI think I might put my job on the line for a night in the sack with one of those hockey boys.โ
I eye her for a moment, wondering if she knows something Iโm not ready for her to know yet. Or maybe ever.
โFiguratively, of course.โ She points to herself. โLoving boyfriend and all that.โ
โOf course.โ
Indy has made it clear over the past few weeks how sheโs in it for the long haul with her live-in boyfriend, Alex. Sheโll constantly joke about the temperature rising when the hockey boys start stripping on the airplane or how sheโd risk her job for a single night with one of them. But from what I know of her relationship, she loves Alex way too much to risk him.
โBut if I were single and a certain alternate captain for a certain hockey team from Chicago who just happened to ooze sex appeal continually hit on me, I might risk my job for that.โ Indy suggestively looks up at me from across our booth.
โZanders is not hitting on me when he constantly rings the call light.
Heโs just torturing me.โ
โMm-hmm,โ Indy hums. โTorturing you to get your attention because he wants to screw you.โ
I stay silent on that front. Indy doesnโt even know about our interactions outside of the plane, yet she still knows the truth.
โA night in bed with Godโs gift to womankind is worth the risk, Iโd say.โ Indy knowingly raises her eyebrows before taking another bite of her brunch. โAnd just so you know, figuratively speaking, if you ever did want
to break the whole flight attendant/hockey player boundary thing, your secret would be safe with me.โ
I give her a thankful smile, but not big enough to confirm or deny her statement.
โFiguratively, of course,โ she adds before taking another bite of her food.
When I pull up to my parentsโ house, twenty minutes outside of Nashville, my stomach instantly drops with nerves. I couldnโt tell you the last time I was home. Over the last few years, holidays have been a hit or miss between Ryanโs and my hectic schedules, paired with my blatant attempt to avoid this city.
โHey, lady,โ my driver says from the front seat. โI have another ride. You have to get out.โ Understandably so, Iโve been sitting in the back of his car for a couple of minutes now, nervously spinning the gold ring on my thumb and contemplating bailing altogether.
โSorry.โ Inhaling a deep breath, I exit his car and smooth out my top, feeling extremely uncomfortable. And not because Iโm still full from brunch, but because I chose an outfit entirely out of my comfort zone. I own a whopping one top my mother would approve of, so here I am wearing the monstrosity.
The blush pink blouse is all frills and lace but still wrinkled as shit from being in my suitcase. Yes, Iโd like to ease the inevitable remarks my mother will have, but I clearly donโt care enough to worry about an iron.
My Uber driver takes off as soon as I close the car door, and Iโm about two seconds away from chasing him down on foot and begging him to drive me back to my hotel.
โVee!โ my dad calls out, swinging the front door open, his arms stretched wide. โThereโs my favorite daughter!โ
โIโm your only daughter, Dad.โ I smile, making my way to his open arms.
โThat you know of,โ he teases as he wraps me up in his embrace.
Man, I missed him. Heโs the sweetest, but unfortunately, a visit with him comes with a visit from my mother, and thatโs something I canโt handle
on a regular basis.
โI love this new job of yours, bringing you home, but what in the world are you wearing?โ
โJust trying to make this as painless as possible.โ
He pulls away, his hands still grasping my arms, offering me an apologetic smile. My brother might not see how my mother treats me compared to him, but my dad has noticed. Itโs been a tough spot for him, trying to have my back while also loving his wife, regardless of her shortcomings.
โStevie, welcome,โ my mother says as soon as I walk into the front door.
The house is spotless. The way it was growing up, when we knew visitors were coming over. Had to keep up impressions. Glad to know Iโm categorized as a visitor now.
She gives me a quick and awkward embrace before eyeing me up and down, the disapproval evident on her makeup-caked features. She strokes my hair, attempting to get it to lie down in a more manageable state, but my curls spring right back up.
โTake a seat.โ She motions towards the dining room table. โWould you like something to drink?โ
โWe have some sweet tea,โ my dad chimes in with excitement. โI made it fresh this morning.โ
โThatโs an awful lot of sugar, Neal.โ โIโd love some, Dad. Thank you.โ
My motherโs dainty, pale hands smooth her apron before ghosting the pearls around her neck, clearly trying to bite her tongue and resist saying something direct. My Southern mother would never. Bless her heart.
โHowโs your brother?โ
Of course, her first question would be about my twin brother and not
me.
She takes a seat across from me at our dining room table, which is set
with elegant place settings as if there were going to be a dinner party tonight, but I know thereโs not. Itโs all about making things look as pretty as possible at all times.
โHeโs good. Busy with the season starting, but good.โ โIs he seeing anyone?โ
I shake my head. โNo, I donโt think so.โ
โHeโs got time,โ my mother says with the wave of her hand. โHeโs only twenty-six. No need to be rushing into anything. Heโs such a catch, that boy.โ
My dad returns from the kitchen, placing my tea in front of me, followed by a kiss on the top of my head before taking a seat next to my mother.
โHow about you, Vee,โ he asks. โHow are you doing? Howโs the new job? Howโs the shelter?โ
โIโm good. The job is good. Busy schedule.โ I quickly nod my head. โAnd I love the shelter. The owner is the kindest woman who is just really grateful for any help she can get. I wish I could be there full-time and help out. The building is pretty run-down and could use some updates, but the little money that gets donated barely covers the cost of food and medication for the dogs, let alone anything else.โ
โAre you seeing anyone?โ my mother interrupts.
โUm. No. Not right now. Anyway, the dogs are so sweet and so adorable, and they just want someone to love them.โ
My dad is all ears as I continue my rant, pride evident in his brown eyes, clearly happy that I found something that makes me so happy. My mother, on the other hand, not so much.
โThereโs this Doberman named Rosie, and sheโs an absolute sweetheart, but you know, she looks a little intimidating. Sheโs been there so long at this point, and potential owners pass her up without giving her a second glance.โ
โWhat about Brett?โ my mother asks of my ex. โI always liked that boy.
Maybe you should reach out to him and see if heโs seeing anyone.โ
โTheresa,โ my dad quietly scolds, trying to rein her in, but thatโs not how the power dynamic in their relationship works.
โBrett is my ex for a reason.โ
โWell, Stevie,โ my mother not-so-innocently says. โYouโre not getting any younger, darling.โ
Yeah, Iโm not getting any younger, but Iโm also the exact same age as her son, who she just said has plenty of time.
โI saw Hannah and Jackie last night,โ I avert the conversation.
โOh, did you? How beautiful is Hannah now? I saw her mom last week at church, and did you know her little sister qualified for Miss Teen Tennessee this year? I was thinking about seeing if she wanted any of the
old pageant dresses I bought for you. You know, since theyโve never been worn, and they wouldnโt fit you now anyway.โ
And there it is. I was waiting for her to mention my weight or size. Iโm surprised she lasted a whole twenty minutes.
โThatโs a great idea,โ is all I can manage to say. Iโm too tired of it all at this point to play into my motherโs game. โThis tea is really good, Dad.โ
Looking over to him, his brown skin pinches between his brows as he shoots me an apologetic smile.
โGlad you came to see us, Vee,โ he says. โYou probably have to get going, though. You have work soon, right? Headed to Philly tonight, yeah?โ
My dad is the best, trying to give me an out from this visit. My showtime for work is still hours away, but I need to get out of this house.
โYeah, I should get going.โ I stand from my seat as my parents do the same.
โStevie, darling. Brush your hair before work, please.โ My mother quickly and awkwardly hugs me goodbye.
You donโt brush curly hair, is what I want to say. Because how dare my hair be big and bold instead of smooth and styled like hers.
โWill do,โ is my answer instead. Itโs just not worth it.
โYou look beautiful, Vee,โ my dad reassures, holding on extra tight. โAnd Iโm so proud of you and everything youโre doing with work and volunteering. Iโm so happy you found something you love so much.โ
โThank you, Dad.โ
He eyes my mother before looking back at me. โLet me walk you out.โ He swings his arm over my shoulder as I order a ride back to my hotel from my phone. As soon as weโre outside and the door is closed, he turns towards me. โDonโt listen to her, honey.โ
โHow can I not? Itโs constant. She doesnโt let up.โ โIโll talk to her.โ
โWhat good is that going to do? Youโve talked to her for years, and sheโs still like this. There is nothing I can do to make her happy!โ
โYou know how she is, Vee.โ
โYeah, Dad, I do. But thatโs not a good enough excuse anymore.โ My car pulls up just in time, so I give him another quick hug goodbye. โLove you,โ I toss over my shoulder as I walk down the walkway to my car in frustration.
โI love you, my beautiful daughter,โ he adds just as I get inside.
I offer him a small wave as my car drives away from the house I never want to visit again.