So I guess youโre going to want to hear the whole sob story now?โ I ask Amelia after we leave the diner
and are alone again.
She looks up at me with a smirk. โYou sound like youโre resigning yourself to a root canal.โ
โAbout the same pain level.โ Itโs supposed to be a joke, but it falls a little flat. Or maybe a little too on the nose. Because thinking back to Merritt hurts every time. In hindsight, I see myself eagerly following that woman off to New York, truly believing that our little summertime fling was real, and I cringe.
As Jeanine pointed out in the diner, Merritt came to town to take care of her uncleโs property after he died. It was her first time in town, and being the only lawyer in her family, her parents thought it would be best to send her to sell off his property and tie up all the other loose ends that come along with a family member dying. Well, that and because her mom and uncle had a bad falling-out before Merritt was born and never spoke again. I thought Merritt seemed pretty lonely in town while handling all that business on her own, so I offered her company. I spent my
afternoons helping her box up his house and then that turned into her spending nights at my place.
I spontaneously proposed on her last day in town, because it felt romantic and exciting. She agreed for those same reasons, but only if Iโd move to New York with her. My sisters and grandma were shocked that I left with only giving them a dayโs notice. Now, I want to go back in time and punch myself right in the stomach for being so naive and thoughtless.
We made it work for the first few months, but when that physical chemistry started to wear off (which was probably because Merritt was getting it with her co-worker instead), we had nothing. She was all about work, which was fine, except for the fact that she wanted me to be as well. In New York I used my business degree and got a job in a low- level position at a bank, and, boy, did I dream of clawing my eyes out each day at that boring, lifeless job.
I was never enough for Merritt and she became obsessed with wiping all the โcountryโ from my personality. She made sure I worked my ass off so I could climb the corporate ladder and claim a position that she could be proud of when she introduced me to her friends. So I worked a crap ton up there, was incredibly lonely, had very little joy, and because Iโm loyal to an absolute fault, it took me a whole year to end it. Fineโฆloyalย and prideful.ย I didnโt want to drag myself back home and explain to everyone that I had made a huge mistake.
I canโt say Iโm necessarily happy she cheated on me, but it did give me the push I needed to end things, or else I might have wasted a lot more time being miserable with a woman who was all wrong for me. And after it officially crumbled, I vowed I would never force a relationship with someone whose life doesnโt automatically fit with mine
from the start. Because thatโs what Merritt and I boiled down toโtwo people who needed different things and couldnโt find any common ground.
Amelia hesitates a minute and must see something honest in my expression that I donโt mean to be showing, because she smiles and shakes her head. โThen no. I donโt want to hear it. Sounds like a real buzzkill to our morning.โ Her blue eyes dart up to mine and theyโre glinting. I shove my hands in my pockets and lightly bump my shoulder against hers. In quiet, introverted, hates-discussing- feelings language, I just saidย thank you.
Her shoulder bumps mine back.
โSo what part of the town do you want to explore first?โ
Amelia pauses and looks thoughtfully around. With her eyes distracted, Iโm able to really take her in for the first time today. Sheโs wearing a simple cream-colored summer dress, with thin straps. I like the way the dress hugs her chest and torso, but sort of flares out a little at the waist. The bottom half of it sways back and forth when she walks. She looks so pretty it hurts.
โWhatโs that place?โ she says, squinting at the building across the street. Her lips are extrapink today and I wonder if sheโs wearing lipstick or tinted ChapStick. I know the difference because I used my sisterโs tinted ChapStick once thinking it was the regular kind and had ripe, red lips for the rest of the night because my sisters thought it was hilarious not to tell me. I donโt think Ameliaโs wearing lipstick, the color looks too natural. Kissable.
Right.ย Enough about her lips. I know exactly where to take her.
I turn in the direction sheโs pointing. โThatโs the hair salon.โ
โ
Wait,โ says Amelia, hitting the brakes on the sidewalk. โItโs too scary. I canโt go in there.โ
โย โItโs just a beauty shop.โ
Ameliaโs eyes slide to the front window and
she peers inside like a woman eyeing a diamond necklace in the shop display of Tiffanyโs. A few minutes ago, she told me sheโs wanted to cut her hair for so long but could never get up the nerve to do it. Sheโs contemplating doing it now, so I go stand beside her, shoulder to shoulder as we stare into the salon like creeps.
Heather, Tanya, and Virginia are all in there working to loud music and laughing with clients. The scene is cheery, if not a little over-the-top.
I look down at Amelia. โIโm failing to see the threat here.โ
โI canโt do it,โ she says in a daze. โI realllyyyy want to, but I canโt.โ
โWhy not?โ
โBecause Susan will be mad. Like really mad. My hair is aย thing.ย Itโs part of what Iโm known for.โ
With this new insight, my eyes trace the long waves of her hair cascading down her back. It is beautifulโthe kind of hair that makes me want to tangle my fingers in it. Part of me is sad Iโll never get to do that, but Iโm also getting real sick of hearing Susanโs name, so I will encourage Amelia to chop it off to her ears right now if thatโs whatโs going to bring her freedom. โOh, sorry. I didnโt realize it was Susanโs hair. That makes sense then.โ Iโm being a smart-ass but she likes it.
She laughs with sad amusement and then looks up at me
โshoulders sagging in premature defeat. โI canโt, Noah. I
just canโt. I know itโs silly but itโs how things work for someone in my position. I donโt own my image anymore.โ
โOkay.โ I shrug. โBut Iโm just saying, if you want to be rebellious and break the Law of Susan, Iโll whip the truck up to the curb and you can slide inย Dukes of Hazzardย style when your haircut is finished, and weโll make sure Susan can never catch us.โ
She grins.ย โUs?โ
โWell, yeah. Iโve seen you drive my truck. Snails were passing youโflipping you the bird and everything. It was embarrassing.โ Amelia laughs and shakes her head, turning her eyes back to the window. And I realize in this moment, Iโd do just about anything to make her laugh.ย Whatโs happening to me?
Looking through the window, Amelia takes one full breath and then nods onceโfirmly. She looks up at me again, and this time, sheโs determined. Thereโs fire in those crystal-blue eyes. Determination looks so damn sexy on her. Itโs making that fierce desire to kiss her boil up inside me again.
โOkay, Iโm doing it. Iโm going in there and Iโm getting my hair cut. Better get the truck ready, Bo Duke,โ she says, bouncing from foot to foot like a prizefighter about to step into the ring. If she had a mouthguard, sheโd slip it over her teeth. I need to tape her knuckles. โIโm a woman who eats pancakes and gets her hair cut when she wants to. Iโm my own damn boss, and Iโm taking my life back!โ She heads toward the door, puts her hand on the doorknob, and then quickly lets go and paces back to me. Nope, she passes right by me. Sheโs zooming toward the truck, and then abruptly freezes again. Slowly, she turns back around and treks her way to the door once again. We repeat that whole process two more times.
So on her fourth trip to the door, and when I can tell sheโs about to lose steam again, I go up behind Amelia, open the door, and push my hand against her lower back, nudging her over the threshold. โItโs been entertaining as hell to watch, but Iโm starting to get dizzy from all the back and forth.โ
She looks at me over her shoulder with a thankful smile. โI was going to go in that time anyway.โ
โSure you were.โ
โAre you going stay with me?โ
Iโd be lying if I said I didnโt want to. Hell, Iโd hold her hand in there if she asked me to. But I know I canโt let myself do that. If Iโm going to keep myself from falling for her, Iโve got to keep some boundaries. Get some space and clear my head.
I hitch my thumb over my shoulder as I step backward. โIโm supposed to meet someone for lunch. Iโll be back in a little bit.โ
I hurry out before Tanyaโs heavily eye-shadowed eyes can sweep to the front desk and catch sight of me and Amelia. Sheโd sink her teeth in me and then Iโd end up with a haircut I never asked for. Just before the door closes behind me, I hear, โDarlinโ, yes! Iโve been hoping youโd stop in here since I heard you popped into town. Sit down and make yourself comfy. Wanna Coke? I know youโre probably used to wine but Iโd have to drive home and grab the box from my fridge and that might take about twenty minutes.โ
I just hope she doesnโt come out with a perm.