Iโm in a different houseโone that is definitely not Noahโs. The last thing I remember, I was at Hankโs Bar.
And now Iโm waking up in a strange bed. Panic is hovering on the seams of my consciousness until I realize this room is incredibly feminine. A pretty floral comforter is lying on top of me, the color palette olive, dusty pink, and cream. There are succulents on the windowsill and a giant bouquet of flowers beside the bed. And Iโm still in my clothes.
The sound of whispering female voices (that are doing a very poor job of actually keeping their voices down) floats through the closed door, and now with a sigh of relief, I know where I am.
โShould we wake her up?โ
โNo. The doc said to let her sleep.โ
The doc?
It all suddenly comes back to me in broken fragments. Feeling weird and woozy at the bar. Realizing I took a sleeping pill and then drank alcohol. And then lots of memories featuring Noahโs green eyes: beside me at the bar, looking down at me in his truck, in an exam room as a doctor pried my eyelids open and shined a light into them.
And then one more view of his startling green eyes staring at me in the darkโnot worried, but something elseโฆ
I cringe, shutting my blurry eyes and groaning. I bet I made a real ass out of myself last night. If he didnโt hate me already, he really does now. Maybe thatโs why Iโm here instead of at his house. He packed my bags and kicked me out. I wouldnโt blame him if he did.
โItโs almost ten oโclock. Shouldnโt we at least make sure sheโs still alive in there?โ That voice most definitely belongs to Madison.
โFine, but just peek in to see if sheโs still among the living and then we leave her be. Noah will murder us if he finds out we woke her up.โ And thatโs Emily.
โI still canโt believe he sat beside her bed all night and monitored her. Did you take a picture? Iโm so mad I didnโtโย Ow!โ says Madison, with a loud yelp on the end.
โNo, she didnโt take a picture. How are you so rude, Maddie?โ
โMe? Annieโs the one whoโs always pinching me! Will you quit it?โ
โI prefer pinching to arguing,โ says Annie in a better whisper than either of the other two sisters.
And,ย wait wait wait.ย Did they say Noah sat by my bed all night and monitored me? My gaze slides beside the bed to an innocently empty accent chair that is now pulsing with importance. Itโs angled toward the bed. Noah sat in that chair all night and made sure I was taken care of.ย Iโm here. Youโre safe,ย I remember him saying.
The bedroom door opens a crack and I donโt even bother pretending to be asleep. Three pairs of eyes blink at me, and I raise a hand in a weak wave. โHi. Iโm alive and I heard all that.โ
They push the door open all the way and groan. โSorry. We were trying to be quiet,โ says Annie. Sheโs wearing a pj set covered in cartoon bananas.
Madison hops onto the bottom of the bed wearing a bright tie-dyed hoodie, turquoise joggers, and glasses with bubblegum-pink frames. She props herself up on her elbow and rests her head against her knuckles. โSoโฆsleeping pills, huh?โ
โMadison! Donโt pry into her life, thatโs rude,โ Emily reprimands, flashing me an apologetic smile.
โNo, itโs okay. I thought I was taking my other prescription for a headache but I totally forgot that I had also stuffed my sleep aid in my purse earlier this week. I usually only take it when Iโm visiting another country and have horrible jet lag.โ I shake my head. โI feel so bad that I caused so much trouble last night. Iโm really sorry, guys.โ
Saying I feel like an idiot would be an understatement.
My eyes drift to the angled chair again.
Emily perches on the side of the bed, wearing a sophisticated, satiny lounge set in burgundy. She tucks the covers around my feet like Iโm a burrito. โIf it makes you feel better, you were only trouble for Noah and Anna- banana.โ
And now the banana pjโs make more sense.
I look up at Annie. โIโm really sorry. And also, I thought your name was Annie?โ She shrugs with a soft smile. โAnnie. Anna-banana. Either one. Theyโre both short for Annabell.โ I donโt think anyoneโs name has ever fit someone as perfectly as her name fits her. Soft. Southern. Kind and welcoming. Itโs not fair that they are being so hospitable and Iโm doing nothing but taking from them.
I decide to give a little of the thing thatโs hardest to give
โmyself. โWell, my name is actually Amelia. Rae is only a
stage name.โ
All three of them exchange guilty looks. โWe already know,โ says Madison. She raises and lowers a shoulder. โWikipedia is such a little snitch. You can find every celebrityโs name and home address on that thing.โ
I laugh because here I thought I had this great secret about myselfโand turns out, itโs been public all this time. Thatโs what I get for never googling myself. Suddenly, I wonder what other deeply personal information is available out there. If only Noah had a Wikipediaโฆ
My eyes drift to the chair again. โUmmโฆsoโฆNoah? Is he mad? I imagine he is since he kicked me out.โ
โNoah didnโt kick you out,โ Annie says in a soothing tone. โHe wanted you to stay here last night because he was afraid you wouldnโt feel safe knowing youโd slept all night in his house when you were pretty much unconscious.โ
His woodsy eyes flash in my mind again.ย Youโre safe.
The teeny tiny crush Iโve been harboring for Noah flares into something a little terrifying and consuming. Why canโt he be like the others? It would be easier to disregard his actions if he had made sure he was here when I woke up so he could gain all the credit. But no. Just like the first morning I woke up in Rome, Kentucky, Noah is nowhere to be found.
The odd thing is, if I had woken up in his house this morning, I wouldnโt have felt unsafe. Thereโs just something about Noah that feels honorable. Grumpy as hell, but honorable no less.
โWhere is he now?โ I ask, looking around like maybe heโll pop out from behind the door or something.
โOh, he didnโt want you to know heโd been here allโ OW! Would you quit?!โ
I look over just in time to see Annieโs fingers reeling back from the underside of Madisonโs arm. โHe had to go to work,โ she says like a soft little springtime butterfly. โBut he said for you to stop by the shop when youโre feeling up to it. Has something he wants to talk to you about. I can drive you in on my way to the flower shop if you want. I donโt open until eleven on the weekends.โ
My stomach flips inside out. And whether itโs out of excitement or dread, Iโm not sure yet. Thereโs still a good chance Noahโs going to tell me to pack my bags and hit the road two days early.
After scarfing a bowl of cereal, finger-brushing my teeth, and running a brush through my hair, I turn on
my cell phone for the first time. Iโm told by Madison that if I stand on her bed and wave my cell phone around the ceiling for a minute, Iโll be able to gain a bar. And sheโs rightโit works. I finally get a bar of service, and along with it, sixty-seven text messages, and thirty-two emails. Most of the texts are from Susan, a few are from my mom.
I hate the hope I feel that maybe her texts will be about something mundane or simple like:
Saw this random flip-flop on the street and it reminded me of the time you got your foot stuck in a public toilet and had to leave the mall without a shoe! Miss you! Call me soon to catch up!
Nope.
Mom, 7:02ย A.M.: Hi sweetie! Are you at your Malibu house this weekend? I was hoping to go stay there for a bit. LA is feeling cramped. Bleh.
Mom, 7:07ย A.M.: Youโre probably busy with friends this weekend. Iโll email Susan instead. Hugs!
I shouldnโt, because Iโve learned from history that my mom doesnโt care anymoreโbut for some reason, I find myself typing out a response to her.
Amelia: Actually, Iโm in a small town in Kentucky called Rome this weekend. I needed to get away from everything.
I hit send and stare at my phone for her responseโ hoping sheโll comment on the fact that Iโm inย Rome. Show some spark of a memory that tells me she still thinks of our Audrey movie nights and what we used to have. My heart is begging her to show any sort of concern to my subtle call for help.
Three dots appear for a while followed by her response.
Mom: Okay. Sorry for bugging you while youโre away! Iโll go through Susan for any other questions.
Right. Thatโs my fault for expecting anything different.
I donโt even bother reading all of Susanโs messages. I glance through the first twenty, and at first, they are kind and placating. She gently asks me to reconsider and come back. They then quickly jump into reprimanding authority figure:ย Remember your duty.ย You would think by the guilt trips she throws at me in these texts that it was a war I didnโt show up to rather than an interview.
But one thing is clear as her texts progress: Susan is not comfortable with me being outside of her reach. A little light turns on in the corner of my mind, but I donโt have time to explore it right now. I shut off my phone without responding to anything else, making a mental note to call my housekeeping service later. I told Susan I would be in contact Sunday night, and Iโm sticking to it.
The ride into town with Annie feels like a decompression chamber after a loud, exhilarating brunch with her sisters. How those women can all talk at once and still manage to follow each otherโs conversations is sheer talent. I felt like I was witnessing a sitcom and had to physically sit
on my hands to keep from clapping when one of them would say something funny.
Now Iโm in Annieโs truck (apparently you have to own one if you live around here) and weโre pulling into town. Most small towns Iโve traveled through are shaped like a square. Rome is shaped like a lowercase โtโ with both roads extending out to farmland and localsโ houses. Most of the shops are made of brick, with colorful awnings above the storefronts. Itโs a tiny minuscule dot on a map, and if you blink while driving, youโll miss it. But somehow they manage to have everything you need right here. Just on Main Street they have an ice cream shop, hardware store, market, coffee shop, diner, flower shop, and of course The Pie Shop. No one parks on the street; instead, Annie drives us over to the communal lot beside Philโs Hardware. Morbidly, I wonder if when someone dies around here, the new store owner changes the shop name, or if they change their given name to fit the store? Maybe thereโs a whole cemetery somewhere full of Phils and Hanks.
Two steps out of the truck and I spot Noahโs burnt orange Chevy. I knew heโd be here. Heโs the whole reason Iโm in town right now, and still, Iโm frozen as my eyes glue themselves to the side of his truck. An inanimate object shouldnโt evoke the warm, fluttery feelings sweeping through my body right now, but it does. It really does. I blame it on the manโs overall mystery and the added bonus of a time crunch. It reminds me of summer camp as a teenager. You know youโll only be there for a few days, so immediately you set out to find the hottest person available, zero in on them, and initiate instant-crush. Thatโs all this is. Itโs a crush. Attraction. Forbidden. Temporary. My body likes his body and thatโs all there is to it.
When Annie clears her throat, I realize Iโm staring at Noahโs truck as if Iโd like to make love to it. She graciously doesnโt comment and I catch up to where sheโs been standing watching me drool. I feel like a supercool person right now, let me tell you.
Annieโs flower shop is neighbors with The Pie Shop and she asks if I want to come inside with her first. Since Iโm apparently the worldโs biggest coward, I jump at the chance to put off my meeting with Noah. Her shop is the Disney World of flower shops. Itโs bursting with color and natural light and the innate feeling that everything will turn out okay in life. Tubs of flowers line the walls and in the back of the shop is a giant old farmhouse table, painted white.
โWhat made you want to start a flower shop?โ I ask her as I pick out a few different single-stemmed flowers and piece them together into a bouquet. A sunflower, a few daisies, a big, pink, puffy, cone-shaped one, and a few stems of greenery. Iโm not sure Iโm cut out for assembling bouquets after I see them all grouped together in my hand.
โMy mom. She loved flowers.โ We make eye contact over my shoulder when she saysย loved.ย Past tense. Annie doesnโt make me ask. โOr so I was so told. She died when I was little so I donโt remember a lot about her,โ she says, all while taking the small bouquet from my hand, removing the cone-shaped flower and replacing it with a soft pink rose and then adding in a few orange carnations.ย Much better.ย She then places it on her worktable where she wraps the bundle in brown paper, fastens a little twine bow around it, and adds a sticker with her logo.
โIโm sorry to hear that. But itโs a lovely idea to run a flower shop in her memory.โ
Annieโs smile is like a ray of sunshine. โIt is. And I think sheโd be thrilled to know I named the store after her.โ She points to the hand-painted calligraphy sign behind her worktable.ย Charlotteโs Flowers.ย A million questions float through my mind about when she passed away, and how; but none of them are any of my business, so I keep quiet and pull my wallet from my purse to pay for the bouquet.
Annie chuckles, shaking her head. โItโs on me today.โ โNo, really, I want to pay,โ I say, immediately feeling
guilty. I canโt not pay for this. It would look tackyโ especially since Iโm the one sitting on millions of dollars over here, and sheโs running a niche business in a tiny town. Even Noah buys flowers from her often so her business doesnโt go under.
But then Annie just hands the bouquet over the table to me with a soft, dimpled smile. โA token of friendship.โ Her gesture rams into me. Sheโs not asking anything of me. Doesnโt want my money. Just friendship.
Her smile dims into sympathy when she sees my face. โAre youโฆcrying?โ
โNo!ย Absolutely not.โ I sni๏ฌe. โThatโsโno. I would beโ itโs the flowers. I think Iโmโฆallergic. Or maybe just the sleeping pill still making its way out of my system.โ
She laughs. โMm-hmm. Sure. I think you got hit with the feelings allergy.โ
I sigh and clutch the flowers desperately to my chest. โYeahโฆmaybe. Something about this town is really making them act up.โ
โImagine living here,โ she says with an amused twinkle in her eye.
But no. I absolutely will not imagine that, because I know I would like it far too much. In fact, itโs time for me to go and see the man that I know will wipe away any of these
illusions. Heโll be grumpy and stern and make me feel like my company is the last thing on earth he wants, and it will be lovely.
Before I leave the flower shop, I have Annie help me put together a bouquet of Noahโs favorite flowers (which I convince her to let me pay for).
โ
You stand there much longer and your feet will grow roots, making those flowers sprout out the top of
your head.โ
I expel a breath and look over my shoulder. Mabel is walking toward me on the sidewalk, floral print cotton dress swaying in the breeze, leather loafers lightly squeaking under her feet. Her wise eyes slip from me to The Pie Shop Iโm standing just to the side of, and then back to me. She stops beside me, her ample hips nearly brushing against mine. Iโm holding the flower bouquets against my chest like theyโre newborn babies and Iโll protect them with my life.
โIโm too nervous to go in,โ I admit openly, because instinctively I know Mabel would accept nothing less. Sheโd see right through any lie of mine.
We stand quietly shoulder to shoulder like two soldiers on the outskirts of battle. She breaks the reverent silence without looking at me. โWhy are you here, young lady?โ
โBecause Noah asked me toโโ
โNo.โ Her raspy voice barks, making me jump a little. A quick reminder that she may be nurturing but sheโs not soft. โIn this town. Why are you here?โ
I look down at the cheerful blooms. โI donโt really know.
Iโm not supposed to be.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ She will settle for nothing but exact precise answers. Mabel doesnโt beat around the bush.
The desire to hightail it away from her in a full sprint is nearly unbearable. I think if I did, though, the powers of her stern mind would capture me by the collar of my shirt and yank me back. โIโm not supposed to be here outside of Noahโs shop. In this town. Away from my life. On vacation.โ I say it as many ways as I can so thereโs no way sheโll misinterpret.
โHeavens why, child?โย Child.ย When was the last time someone thought of me as a child? The endearment is so nice and cozy. Like holding cold hands up to a crackling fire.
โIโm not supposed to take vacations if theyโre not planned a year out and okayed by five different people. My manager has reminded me repeatedly over the last few days that Iโm neglecting my responsibilities and being selfish by leaving suddenly like I did.โ
โAnd let me ask you something? When the hell did it become such a crime to be selfish now and again?โ Mabel turns to face me, propping her hands on her hips. โI tell you what makes me madder than a hornet. When people tell other people how they should feel. Everyoneโs getting too damn people-ly lately and Iโve had enough of it. Sometimes a woman is just worn out and needs a break, you know?โ The lines on her forehead deepen. โThat doesnโt prove that youโre weak or neglectful, it proves to all the women standing by and watching you pave the road to success that itโs okay to say no. Itโs okay to shut your door every now and then and put up a sign that saysย Busy taking care of me today. Piss off.โ
Tears choke my eyes. I look over at the woman who seems ready to do battle on my behalf and my truth spills out before I can stop it. โMabel, I donโt love my career anymore. I havenโt even loved singing lately. Thatโs why Iโm here.โ
She smiles softly. โWell, of course you donโt, darlinโ. No one loves anything theyโre miserably chained to.โ Her eyes narrow thoughtfully. โBut you own the key to your own lock and donโt you forget it. Set yourself free for a while and that love will come back, just you watch.โ
I canโt help but laugh lightly because with those words, I feel like sheโs rolled a boulder off my shoulders. The feelings Iโve kept strung up and gagged inside me for so long because Iย knewย no one would understand are free and floating on the wind. Mabel understands.
She steps a little closer and takes my hand like she did that morning in her inn. She grins and her wrinkles multiply. โGo have your break, darlinโ. And even better, have it with a good man whoโll treat you right.โ She nods over my shoulder to The Pie Shop.
โMabel, I canโt stay. Noah said I have to leave his place on Monday.โ
โOh, youโre staying all right.โ
The confidence on this woman.
I give her a hopeful smile. โDoes this mean youโll let me rent a room at your inn? I can even help out with chores to make it worthwhile for you.โ
โNope. Weโre full up, told ya that already.โ Iโve never seen a woman enjoy telling a lie more. โBut youโll stay in town. Mark my words.โ
โI canโt help but feel like your hope is misplaced. Noah doesnโt even want me around him.โ
She grunts a laugh. โBullshit. Iโve known that boy since he was a baby. I can read him like a book, and Iโd bet my entire living heโs grumpy because he wants you aroundย too much.โ I donโt disagree, but I do turn my eyes to the shop window. โAnd I saw him staring at your backside when you werenโt looking.โ
I whip my head back to Mabel. โHe did not.โ
Her smile widens. โNo, he didnโt. But now I know by the rosy hue in your cheeks that you wish he did.โ She raises and lowers her eyebrows and begins trundling away, passing The Pie Shop entirely. โOh, this is gonna be good,โ she says softly to herself. And when I glance down at my flowers and back, sheโs gone, just like a mischievous ghost sent to taunt the town. In all likelihood she just dipped into the market, but I like the ghost theory better.
