CLUBBING ON A Thursday isnโt usually my go-to form of self-pity, but here we are.
I probably should just head to the library and study for my upcoming exams, but reading anything psychology-related will set me over the edge. It also doesnโt help that I canโt find my student ID. Without it, I canโt access any of the private study pods. So, logically, clubbing it is.
Amara stares at me wide-eyed as I show her my outfit. Itโs black, short and silky. The perfect combination for my newly adopted reckless persona.
A wary look crosses her face. โWhatโs wrong?โ
โDoes something have to be wrong for me to have fun?โ
โSummer, the last time you had fun was sophomore year when we went to that frat kegger, and you played Scrabble with the pledges. So, yes, something had to have happened.โ
Sheโs right. Something did happen. The moment Iโve been waiting for, for all these years was delivered to my inbox this morning, and Iโve been in denial ever since.
โI didnโt get in.โ
The words slip out so fast Amara jerks like I slapped her. โHow? You probably read it wrong.โ She snatches my phone from my hand and opens my email app.
โI didnโt. I got waitlisted. I guess Donny didnโt even need to compete with me for co-op,โ I say with a bitter laugh. Our plan to get Langston out hasnโt worked. The deanโs still on sabbatical, and although word is getting around through students, no one with authority has done anything. Itโs maddening and has me jerking awake with anxiety in the middle of the night. It’s getting worse because whenever thereโs a knock at our front door, I expect it to be the police coming to arrest me for burglary. Thatโs why Iโve been spending most of my days at Aidenโs house.
Amara scrolls through the sugar-coated rejection. โYou said Dr. Mรผller loved your report. This canโt be right.โ
โHe did, but heโs not my advisor, and heโs not the one on admissions.โ โBut you canโt wait, that leaves you with no choice but to take a gap
year.โ
I swallow. โI know. Thatโs why I accepted my backup.โ
The gasp that leaves her is a bit dramatic. โYouโre leaving Dalton? Youโve been dreaming about this program for years. Your mom said you were eight when you decided you were attending this school or nothing at all. Honestly, I was surprised you didnโt have a shrine of Sir Davis Dalton in your closet.โ
โThat would be overkill.โ
โNot for the girl who finished a degree in two years. Youโre a go-getter, Sum. You donโt let anything stand in the way of your dreams. Especially not some terribly wrong decision.โ
โI have no choice.โ Tears prick my eyes. โCan we not talk about this tonight?โ
Amara gives me a tight hug. โIf you need me to ruin Langstonโs life just say the word,โ she says. I exhale a watery laugh because even though she says it like a joke, I know sheโs serious. โOkay, now give me a few minutes to match your slutty vibe.โ
Twenty minutes later, weโre outside a Hartford club. The line is longer than the ones leading to the bookstores during textbook season. โWeโre going to freeze out here,โ I say, my teeth chattering.
Amara flips her hair, takes my hand, and leads us directly to the front of the line. The bouncer’s eyes land on her chest, then mine. โThis is a private event. You need an invitation.โ
โI see you staring at my two invitations right now, big guy,โ she says, and I swear his cheeks tint pink. โLook, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I want to have fun tonight. A lot of fun,โ Amara emphasizes the lie with a finger trailing along his jaw.
He swallows but remains resolute. โYou have to be on the list.โ
โIs there a substitute for a name? Maybe aย number?โ She waves her phone, and he perks up.
Before I know it, he has Amaraโs numberโa fake oneโand weโre inside. A minute later, the bartender plops four shots of tequila in front of us. โFrom the guy at the end of the bar.โ
A middle-aged man, who looks married with children, winks at us.
Amara sends him a flirty wave and hands me a shot.
โWho is that?โ
โWho cares?โ We clink our glasses and throw back the shot. She hauls me to the dance floor, and for the first time since I submitted my application, I have fun. Unfortunately, most of that fun is found at the bottom of a tequila bottle. The music bumps through the club and although a few guys try to dance toward us, Amaraโs sharp glare sends them away.
Iโm parched when we move off the dance floor, and when I order water, itโs accompanied by another shot. Iโm about to decline but decide to down it anyway. Iโm not in the mood for self-preservation tonight.
โI gotta go to the restroom,โ Amara says. โCome with me?โ
Inside, the bright fluorescents attack my vision as I stumble into one of the stalls. Iโm sure I fall asleep on the toilet for a split second because when Amara calls my name, I jolt.
โDidnโt you tell Aiden about your plans tonight?โ Amara asks. โNo, he had a game,โ I say, reaching for the tap.
โYou didnโt tell him you were going to the club?โ
I focus hard on scrubbing my hands. โMy phone died before we got here.
Itโs not a big deal.โ
She jumps off the counter, heels clicking against the tiles. She shows me the six missed calls and four texts, all from Aiden.
โShit.โ
โYeah.โ When she brings the phone to call him, I stop her. โWhat are you doing? Heโs worried.โ
โI havenโt told him about the application.โ
Her face drops in disappointment. โSummerโฆโ
โI swear I will, but it just happened today. I didnโt want to get in his head before the game.โ The team was gone for an away game, so I havenโt seen him since yesterday.
โHeโs worried.โ
I shake my head, eyes stinging. Aiden is my comfort through everything, but I donโt want this news to feel like reality. โI canโt talk to him without crying.โ
She nods and texts him instead.
Before I know it, weโre too many tequila shots deep, and my feet ache so bad I have to remove my heels.
โReady to go?โ asks Amara, finally peeling off her dance partner. She was adamant that there would be no men tonight, but when an attractive
guy approached her, I urged her to him.
โMy livers broken,โ I groan, recalling why I donโt go out. I nod to the guy staring at her. โAre you taking him home?โ
โI donโt know. He has to earn it.โ
Judging by his expression, heโll do anything to earn it.
Heels in hand and arms linked, we wobble out of the club. Looking past the UHart students, I spot a black truck and a very familiar hockey player leaning against it. My heart stops.
My backstabbing friend wears a sheepish smile. โHe insisted.โ
A few people recognize him, but he focuses on me. I swallow because although he looks serious, he also looks hot as hell. His black shirt accentuates every mountain of muscle, and his weighted look doesnโt help the rising temperature in my body.
โYouโre not wearing shoes,โ he says.
I look at the pink polish on my toenails. โMy feet hurt.โ
He hums and turns to Amara. โThanks for texting me.โ From his neutral tone, I canโt tell if heโs mad. Itโs all mixed up in my dizzy head. The dead phone in my purse feels like a heavy brick. โYou two need a ride?โ he asks Amara and the guy.
When he whispers something to her, she immediately nods.
Itโs when Aiden starts walking closer, almost right into me, that I stumble back. โWhat are you doing?โ
โCarrying you.โ
I shake my head. โI can walk.โ
โI know you can.โ He lifts me anyway. I make a squeaky sound that isnโt much of a protest as I anchor my arms around his neck. His tight hold is warm, coaxing me to lay my head on his chest and breathe in his clean scent. The truck flashes when he unlocks it, and it feels criminal to leave his warm cocoon.
โI missed you,โ I whisper.
He plants a kiss in my hair. โMissed you too, baby.โ