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Chapter no 45 – SUMMERโ€Œ

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CLUBBING ON A Thursday isnโ€™t usually my go-to form of self-pity, but here we are.

I probably should just head to the library and study for my upcoming exams, but reading anything psychology-related will set me over the edge. It also doesnโ€™t help that I canโ€™t find my student ID. Without it, I canโ€™t access any of the private study pods. So, logically, clubbing it is.

Amara stares at me wide-eyed as I show her my outfit. Itโ€™s black, short and silky. The perfect combination for my newly adopted reckless persona.

A wary look crosses her face. โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€

โ€œDoes something have to be wrong for me to have fun?โ€

โ€œSummer, the last time you had fun was sophomore year when we went to that frat kegger, and you played Scrabble with the pledges. So, yes, something had to have happened.โ€

Sheโ€™s right. Something did happen. The moment Iโ€™ve been waiting for, for all these years was delivered to my inbox this morning, and Iโ€™ve been in denial ever since.

โ€œI didnโ€™t get in.โ€

The words slip out so fast Amara jerks like I slapped her. โ€œHow? You probably read it wrong.โ€ She snatches my phone from my hand and opens my email app.

โ€œI didnโ€™t. I got waitlisted. I guess Donny didnโ€™t even need to compete with me for co-op,โ€ I say with a bitter laugh. Our plan to get Langston out hasnโ€™t worked. The deanโ€™s still on sabbatical, and although word is getting around through students, no one with authority has done anything. Itโ€™s maddening and has me jerking awake with anxiety in the middle of the night. It’s getting worse because whenever thereโ€™s a knock at our front door, I expect it to be the police coming to arrest me for burglary. Thatโ€™s why Iโ€™ve been spending most of my days at Aidenโ€™s house.

Amara scrolls through the sugar-coated rejection. โ€œYou said Dr. Mรผller loved your report. This canโ€™t be right.โ€

โ€œHe did, but heโ€™s not my advisor, and heโ€™s not the one on admissions.โ€ โ€œBut you canโ€™t wait, that leaves you with no choice but to take a gap

year.โ€

I swallow. โ€œI know. Thatโ€™s why I accepted my backup.โ€

The gasp that leaves her is a bit dramatic. โ€œYouโ€™re leaving Dalton? Youโ€™ve been dreaming about this program for years. Your mom said you were eight when you decided you were attending this school or nothing at all. Honestly, I was surprised you didnโ€™t have a shrine of Sir Davis Dalton in your closet.โ€

โ€œThat would be overkill.โ€

โ€œNot for the girl who finished a degree in two years. Youโ€™re a go-getter, Sum. You donโ€™t let anything stand in the way of your dreams. Especially not some terribly wrong decision.โ€

โ€œI have no choice.โ€ Tears prick my eyes. โ€œCan we not talk about this tonight?โ€

Amara gives me a tight hug. โ€œIf you need me to ruin Langstonโ€™s life just say the word,โ€ she says. I exhale a watery laugh because even though she says it like a joke, I know sheโ€™s serious. โ€œOkay, now give me a few minutes to match your slutty vibe.โ€

Twenty minutes later, weโ€™re outside a Hartford club. The line is longer than the ones leading to the bookstores during textbook season. โ€œWeโ€™re going to freeze out here,โ€ I say, my teeth chattering.

Amara flips her hair, takes my hand, and leads us directly to the front of the line. The bouncer’s eyes land on her chest, then mine. โ€œThis is a private event. You need an invitation.โ€

โ€œI see you staring at my two invitations right now, big guy,โ€ she says, and I swear his cheeks tint pink. โ€œLook, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I want to have fun tonight. A lot of fun,โ€ Amara emphasizes the lie with a finger trailing along his jaw.

He swallows but remains resolute. โ€œYou have to be on the list.โ€

โ€œIs there a substitute for a name? Maybe aย number?โ€ She waves her phone, and he perks up.

Before I know it, he has Amaraโ€™s numberโ€”a fake oneโ€”and weโ€™re inside. A minute later, the bartender plops four shots of tequila in front of us. โ€œFrom the guy at the end of the bar.โ€

A middle-aged man, who looks married with children, winks at us.

Amara sends him a flirty wave and hands me a shot.

โ€œWho is that?โ€

โ€œWho cares?โ€ We clink our glasses and throw back the shot. She hauls me to the dance floor, and for the first time since I submitted my application, I have fun. Unfortunately, most of that fun is found at the bottom of a tequila bottle. The music bumps through the club and although a few guys try to dance toward us, Amaraโ€™s sharp glare sends them away.

Iโ€™m parched when we move off the dance floor, and when I order water, itโ€™s accompanied by another shot. Iโ€™m about to decline but decide to down it anyway. Iโ€™m not in the mood for self-preservation tonight.

โ€œI gotta go to the restroom,โ€ Amara says. โ€œCome with me?โ€

Inside, the bright fluorescents attack my vision as I stumble into one of the stalls. Iโ€™m sure I fall asleep on the toilet for a split second because when Amara calls my name, I jolt.

โ€œDidnโ€™t you tell Aiden about your plans tonight?โ€ Amara asks. โ€œNo, he had a game,โ€ I say, reaching for the tap.

โ€œYou didnโ€™t tell him you were going to the club?โ€

I focus hard on scrubbing my hands. โ€œMy phone died before we got here.

Itโ€™s not a big deal.โ€

She jumps off the counter, heels clicking against the tiles. She shows me the six missed calls and four texts, all from Aiden.

โ€œShit.โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€ When she brings the phone to call him, I stop her. โ€œWhat are you doing? Heโ€™s worried.โ€

โ€œI havenโ€™t told him about the application.โ€

Her face drops in disappointment. โ€œSummerโ€ฆโ€

โ€œI swear I will, but it just happened today. I didnโ€™t want to get in his head before the game.โ€ The team was gone for an away game, so I havenโ€™t seen him since yesterday.

โ€œHeโ€™s worried.โ€

I shake my head, eyes stinging. Aiden is my comfort through everything, but I donโ€™t want this news to feel like reality. โ€œI canโ€™t talk to him without crying.โ€

She nods and texts him instead.

Before I know it, weโ€™re too many tequila shots deep, and my feet ache so bad I have to remove my heels.

โ€œReady to go?โ€ asks Amara, finally peeling off her dance partner. She was adamant that there would be no men tonight, but when an attractive

guy approached her, I urged her to him.

โ€œMy livers broken,โ€ I groan, recalling why I donโ€™t go out. I nod to the guy staring at her. โ€œAre you taking him home?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know. He has to earn it.โ€

Judging by his expression, heโ€™ll do anything to earn it.

Heels in hand and arms linked, we wobble out of the club. Looking past the UHart students, I spot a black truck and a very familiar hockey player leaning against it. My heart stops.

My backstabbing friend wears a sheepish smile. โ€œHe insisted.โ€

A few people recognize him, but he focuses on me. I swallow because although he looks serious, he also looks hot as hell. His black shirt accentuates every mountain of muscle, and his weighted look doesnโ€™t help the rising temperature in my body.

โ€œYouโ€™re not wearing shoes,โ€ he says.

I look at the pink polish on my toenails. โ€œMy feet hurt.โ€

He hums and turns to Amara. โ€œThanks for texting me.โ€ From his neutral tone, I canโ€™t tell if heโ€™s mad. Itโ€™s all mixed up in my dizzy head. The dead phone in my purse feels like a heavy brick. โ€œYou two need a ride?โ€ he asks Amara and the guy.

When he whispers something to her, she immediately nods.

Itโ€™s when Aiden starts walking closer, almost right into me, that I stumble back. โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€

โ€œCarrying you.โ€

I shake my head. โ€œI can walk.โ€

โ€œI know you can.โ€ He lifts me anyway. I make a squeaky sound that isnโ€™t much of a protest as I anchor my arms around his neck. His tight hold is warm, coaxing me to lay my head on his chest and breathe in his clean scent. The truck flashes when he unlocks it, and it feels criminal to leave his warm cocoon.

โ€œI missed you,โ€ I whisper.

He plants a kiss in my hair. โ€œMissed you too, baby.โ€

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