TONIGHT IS A clusterfuck of emotions, and the situation before me is the last thing I expected.
“I was wrong,” he says.
I lift my head to look at my misty-eyed dad. I’ve never seen him cry. Not when he lost a championship game, not when he fractured his ribs, and definitely not when his dad died. Never.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said to me, and I’m beginning to understand how you feel. You’re not a prize to be won, Summer. You’re a person, my daughter, and you need my love just as much as I need yours.”
I take a deep breath, trying to stay strong. I recall everything my therapist allowed me to practice with her. “You’re right. It’s not okay, Dad. You treated me like a last priority, like hockey meant way more to you than I ever could.”
He winces but lets me continue.
“Sometimes, I wonder if I even enjoy what I do or if it’s to spite you. Swimming? I did it because you wanted me on the ice. Psychology? I dove into my books because getting your attention seemed impossible, so I stopped trying.”
“I had no idea you felt that way.”
“Because you never cared enough to ask!” I can’t keep my voice low. “I couldn’t wait to get out of the house so I wouldn’t have to see your disappointment every time you looked at me.”
“Disappointment? Why would I ever be disappointed in you?”
“Because I stopped skating and playing hockey. I stopped caring about the one thing you loved the most in the world.”
“It’s my fault. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t bother asking you. When you said you thought we felt that you were a mistake, it broke me.” He releases a shaky breath. “At eighteen, when we found out we were pregnant, our parents were pissed, and we were terrified. But none of that mattered when I saw you. I had no idea I could love anything more than I
loved hockey. There was your mom, of course, but then there was you. The sweet, brown-eyed girl that called me dada.”
I have to blink to keep from bawling my eyes out.
“As for your sisters…I love all my children equally. But you, Sunshine, you’re my firstborn. My baby girl who taught me what it was—what it is— to be a father.”
I can’t help the tear that slips down my cheek.
“I loved you the moment I held you in the palm of my hand, and that’ll never change kiddo.”
These are the words I’ve been dying to hear. They wash over me like the first drops of rain in a drought.
“But when I got signed, I had to play to provide for my family. My rookie season was tough, but your mom held us together. After that, it was like an addiction. I was living and breathing hockey. The league was different than anything I’d ever done. That’s when your mom threatened to leave me.”
The revelation startles me. “What?”
“She saw how neglected you were. How neglected she was. My family was slipping through my fingers, but everything was moving so fast it was hard to get my feet on the ground.”
“That’s when her parents came back into her life?” I remember when I met my Nanna and Nanni. My dad wasn’t around, and my mom was constantly stressed. Having their support was like a weight lifted off her. Grandparents weren’t something I knew I was missing, but now I wouldn’t trade their love for the world.
He nods. “By the time I grounded myself, your mother and I had gotten to a better place. But I couldn’t figure you out. I thought we could share our love for hockey or skating, but you switched directions so quickly I didn’t know what to do.”
“I didn’t want to compete for your attention.”
He nods, Adam’s apple bobbing and gray eyes softening.
“All the money stuff? I’m grateful, but none of it gave me you.”
His tears fall in a stream. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Summer. I’m sorry that I didn’t show it these last few years or that I seemed judgmental. I would have loved for you to skate, but I can’t force passion. Your passion is psychology, and I am proud of you for all you’ve achieved. Truly.” He wipes at his face, red eyes determined as he takes my hand. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but let me earn it, please.”
The sincerity in his voice sears my heart. I don’t know if I forgive him, but telling him how I feel makes everything lighter. My therapist would be so proud.
I nod, and his face lights up so dramatically you’d think he won the Stanley Cup again. “Do you want to finish dinner?”
“I think I want to be alone with Aiden.”
He gives me an understanding nod, but I don’t miss the hint of disappointment in his eyes. He stands. “You love that boy?”
“A lot,” I say, shocking myself. But I really, really do love him. I think I’ve known it for a while, too. My heart feels so full it might burst.
“Captain of the hockey team, huh?” “Don’t even say it.”
He holds back a laugh, and I roll my eyes, suppressing a smile.
We find Aiden and my mom out on the deck. She’s laughing as he tells her something, but I only notice how handsome he looks in his suit. It’s such a contrast from the usual tight T-shirts and hockey gear that I find myself entangled in wisps of heat just from the sweet look he gives me.
His hand intertwines with mine. My eyes might still be puffy, but the tears are long gone. Now, all I can think of is the question my dad asked, and how easily I gave him the answer.
But those words feel like weights on my tongue now that I’m standing next to Aiden.
His lips press against my temple. “How are you feeling?” “Better now.” I lean against his arm.
He searches my face to reassure himself. Before we leave, he promises my mom another dinner, and I snicker at his naivety. When we’re in the car, he turns on his music and drives us home with one hand on my thigh, his thumb making soothing movements on my skin. He hasn’t said anything the entire ride, and I know he’s trying to give me space, but I can’t help but feel embarrassed.
“If you run now, I won’t blame you,” I say, breaking the silence.
Aiden glances over at me, then back to the road with a tick of his jaw. “Why do you say that?”
“Because you just saw that shit show back there. No one wants to be attached to that.”
He shakes his head but doesn’t speak until we pull into his driveway. He turns off the car and faces me. “Telling you about my parents was the first
time I’ve talked about them in years.” I hesitate. “Why?”
“I was afraid to feel the emotions that would hit me if I did. But with you, it felt almost therapeutic, like I don’t need to carry the weight alone. I can share my memories so it doesn’t feel like my parents are completely gone.”
“Because they’re not gone, Aiden. Your memories keep them alive, and when you share them with me, I want to keep them alive for you too.”
His bright smile surfaces. “Can’t you see how lucky I am to have you?” A burst of fireworks explodes in my chest. When he looks at me like this,
I forget about all my problems, and I wish I could see myself through his eyes. Then maybe I could become that version of me.
He captures my hand. “As much as I love your body, your mind trumps everything. I can’t understand how someone so fucking amazing is bound up into one human being. You make everything so much brighter, Summer, and it drives me crazy that you can’t see that.”
I drop my gaze to our intertwined hands. “You make it sound like I’m perfect.”
“To me you are. You’re beautiful, strong, kind, and so deserving of love that I hope I can prove it to you in this lifetime. Because that’s how overwhelmingly perfect you are to me.”
Every word he says is one I want to say right back to him. His perfection has made me speechless time and time again. The feeling is so massive it weighs me down.
“How can you be so sure?” My chest fills with a raw emotion that scratches my throat.
“Because I love you,” he says, and I freeze. “Anyone would know it. They only need one look at me when you walk into a room to see it. I love you, Summer.” His thumb strokes my cheek, and when he touches me, I feel like one of those lava cakes that oozes warm chocolate from its center. “I want to do everything with you, and I want you to do everything with me.”
I blink away the tears. “Sounds possessive.”
“It is.” He pulls me by my jacket and claims my lips. “You and me, Preston. That’s the only way I want it.”
That’s what cracks the center of my chest and allows the river of warm honey to flow through. This fucking guy. He’s ridiculously attractive and sweet. I didn’t stand a chance.
