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Chapter no 35

From Blood and Ash

On my knees, I stared up at Hawke, hearing his words and seeing what was happening, but it was like my brain couldnโ€™t process any of it.

Or my brain was processing it and my heartโ€ฆmy heart was denying it.

We need her. Alive.

We.

โ€œYouโ€™re no fun,โ€ Jericho muttered. โ€œHave I told you that before?โ€

โ€œA time or a dozen,โ€ Hawke answered, and I flinched. My entire body recoiled. His jaw tightened, and he looked away, scanning the barn. โ€œThis mess needs to be cleaned up.โ€

Beside him, the wolven shook itself, a lot like a dog after coming in from the rain. And then it rose on its hind legs and shifted, fur curling inward to reveal skin that was thickening. Legs straightened, and fingers returned to their normal sizes. The jaw snapped back into place. Shirt lost somewhere, Kieran stood in torn breeches, the wound in his stomach from Phillipsโ€™ sword nothing more than a pink mark.

I sat back.

Kieran twisted his neck from left to right, cracking it. โ€œThis isnโ€™t the only mess that needs to be cleaned up.โ€

A muscle flexed in Hawkeโ€™s jaw as he looked at me. โ€œYou and I need to talk.โ€

โ€œTalk?โ€ A laugh escaped me, and it sounded all wrong.

โ€œIโ€™m sure you have a lot of questions,โ€ he replied, and I heard a shade of the teasing tone I was familiar with.

It caused me to flinch again. โ€œWhereโ€ฆwhere are the other two guards?โ€

โ€œDead,โ€ he answered without an ounce of hesitation as he rested the bow on his shoulder. โ€œIt was an unfortunate necessity.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m good at what I do.โ€

โ€œAnd what is that?โ€ โ€œKilling.โ€

I knew without a doubt that when heโ€™d left the room, that was what heโ€™d done. There was a buzzing in my ears as I became aware of others gathering behind him in the yard, their bodies still in the filtered morning sun.

He took a step toward me. โ€œLetโ€™sโ€”โ€

โ€œNo.โ€ I popped to my feet, surprisingly steady. โ€œTell me whatโ€™s going on here.โ€

Hawke stopped. When he spoke, his voice had softened just a fraction. โ€œYou know whatโ€™s going on here.โ€

The next breath I took scorched my throat and lungs because I realized that I did. Oh, gods, I did know what was going on here. The buzzing increased as I saw Elijah standing outside, arms folded across his barrel chest. I saw Magda, one hand protectively cradling her baby bump as she stared into the barn, her face pinched withโ€ฆwith sympathy andย pity.

You deserve so much more than what awaits you.

Thatโ€™s what heโ€™d said to me last night. And me, stupid, naive me, thought heโ€™d meant my Ascension. No. Heโ€™d meantย this.

Magda turned, brushing past Elijah as she walked back to the keep. โ€œPhillips was right,โ€ I said, my voice trembling as I said it, as I gave

life to what I already knew.

โ€œHe was?โ€ questioned Hawke, handing the strange bow to one of the men whoโ€™d appeared behind him.

โ€œI do believe Phillips had begun to figure things out,โ€ Kieran answered as he stared down at his stomach. The faint pink marks were already gone. โ€œThey were coming out of the room when I went up to check on her. She didnโ€™t seem to believe whatever it was heโ€™d told her, though.โ€

I hadnโ€™t.

I hadnโ€™t believed Phillips at all because I believed Hawke. I trusted himโ€”trusted him with my life, and withโ€ฆ

There was a sudden pain in my chest that felt as if someone had shoved a dagger through me. I looked down because it felt too real, but there was no blade, no bloody wound that equaled the agony radiating through me. When I looked up, a muscle flexed in Hawkeโ€™s jaw.

โ€œWell, heโ€™s not going to be figuring anything out again.โ€ Jericho gripped the bolt, tearing it free. Phillips slumped over. Jericho nudged the

guardโ€™s body with his boot. โ€œThatโ€™s for sure.โ€

I turned back to Hawke, feeling as if the ground were splitting and shifting beneath me.

โ€œYouโ€™re a Descenter.โ€

โ€œA Descenter?โ€ Elijah laughed deeply, causing me to jerk. Kieran smiled.

โ€œAnd here I said you were smart,โ€ Jericho said.

I ignored them. โ€œYouโ€™re working against the Ascended.โ€ Hawke nodded.

Another fissure formed in my chest. โ€œYouโ€ฆyou knew thisโ€ฆthis thing that killed Rylan?โ€

โ€œThing?โ€ chuffed Jericho. โ€œIโ€™m insulted.โ€ Hawke said nothing.

โ€œThat sounds like your problem, not mine.โ€ I fully faced Hawke. โ€œI thought the wolven were extinct.โ€

Hawke gave a casual shrug. โ€œThere are many things that you thought to be true that are not. However, while the wolven arenโ€™t extinct, there arenโ€™t many left.โ€

โ€œDid you know he killed Rylan?โ€ I shouted.

โ€œI thought I could speed this up and grab you, but we know how that turned out,โ€ Jericho chimed in.

My head snapped in Jerichoโ€™s direction. โ€œYes, I clearly remember how that turned out for you.โ€

His upper lip curled as a snarl of warning sent a wave of goosebumps through me.

โ€œI knew he was going to create an opening,โ€ Hawke answered, drawing my gaze back to him.

โ€œFor youโ€ฆto become my personal Royal Guard?โ€ โ€œI needed to get close to you.โ€

I sucked in a shuddering breath as my heart seemed to split open. โ€œWell, you succeeded at that, didnโ€™t you?โ€

That muscle in his jaw flexed again. โ€œWhat youโ€™re thinkingโ€ฆyou could not be further from the truth.โ€

โ€œYou have no idea what Iโ€™m thinking,โ€ I shot back, my hand tightening painfully around the dagger. โ€œAnd all of this wasโ€ฆwhat? A trick? You were sent here to get close to me?โ€

Kieranโ€™s brows lifted. โ€œSentโ€”โ€

Hawke quieted him with a look, and Kieran rolled his eyes.

I knew what he was going to say. โ€œYou were sent by the Dark One.โ€

โ€œI came to Masadonia with one goal in mind,โ€ Hawke answered. โ€œAnd that was you.โ€

I shuddered. โ€œHow? Why?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™d be surprised how many of those close to you support Atlantia, who want to see the kingdom restored. Many who paved the way for me.โ€

โ€œCommander Jansen?โ€ I suspected.

โ€œShe is smart,โ€ Hawke said. โ€œLike I told you all.โ€

The backs of my eyes burned, along with my throat and chest. โ€œDid you even work in the capital?โ€ Then something hit me as my gaze darted to Kieran. โ€œThe night at theโ€ฆโ€ I couldnโ€™t bring myself to say โ€œthe Red Pearl.โ€

โ€œYou knew who I was from the beginning.โ€

โ€œI was watching you as long as you were watching me,โ€ he said softly. โ€œEven longer.โ€

That blow nearly killed me. It was like my chest had shattered. I started to turn away, but I saw Jericho, whoโ€™d created a space for Hawke to gain more personal, intimate access to me.

It clicked into place with a tremor that almost caused me to drop my dagger. โ€œYouโ€ฆyou were planning this for a while.โ€

โ€œFor aย veryย long time.โ€

โ€œHannes.โ€ My voice was thick, hoarse. โ€œHe didnโ€™t die of a heart ailment, did he?โ€

โ€œI do believe his heart did give out on him,โ€ Hawke answered. โ€œThe poison he drank in his ale that night at the Red Pearl surely had something to do with it.โ€

The buzzing was almost too much. โ€œDid a certain woman there help him with his drink? The same one that sent me upstairs?โ€

Hawke didnโ€™t answer. Delano, on the other hand, said, โ€œI feel like Iโ€™m missing vital pieces here.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll fill you in later,โ€ Kieran commented.

I was shaking. I could feel it. Just like I could feel the walls of the barn closing in on me. I was so incredibly naive. โ€œVikter?โ€

Hawke shook his head.

โ€œDonโ€™t lie to me!โ€ I screamed. โ€œDid you know thereโ€™d be an attack on the Rite? Is that why you disappeared? Why you werenโ€™t there when Vikter was killed?โ€

The hollows of his cheeks became sharper. โ€œWhat I know is that youโ€™re upset. I donโ€™t blame you, but Iโ€™ve also seen what happens when you get really angry,โ€ he said, taking a step toward me, lifting his hands. โ€œThere is a lot I need to tellโ€”โ€

The pain erupted out of me like it had the night of the Rite when I turned on Lord Mazeen. I had no control over myself. I moved out of instinct, cocking back my arm and throwing the dagger.

This time, I aimed for his chest.

Hawke let out a curse as he stepped to the side, snatching the dagger out of the air. Someone behind him let out a low whistle as Hawke whirled on me, the look of disbelief on his face almost comical. But in the back of my mind, Iโ€™d known he would catch it. All Iโ€™d needed was a distraction so I could dip down and pick up Phillipsโ€™ fallen sword. I swung out, aiming for the bastard whoโ€™d killed Rylan. Jericho jumped back, but he wasnโ€™t entirely fast enough. I cut him again, across the stomach this time.

โ€œBitch,โ€ Jericho cried out, clamping his remaining hand down on the gushing wound.

I spun just as someone crashed into me from one side and then the other. My arm was twisted around. Something hot sliced across my stomach as I reared back, using my attackerโ€™s weight against them. They fell, arms still around me. I snapped my head, cracking my skull into their face. There was a yelp, and the hold loosened enough for me to tear free. I grabbed the sword from the straw and thrust it out blindly. I only saw a flicker of shock in the brown eyes of a male not too much older than me as he looked down. I yanked the sword free and spun, coming face to face with Hawke.

I hesitated.

Like a complete idiot, I hesitated, even though I knew he was working for the Dark One. He was a Descenter. Because of him, so very many innocent people were dead. Hannes. Rylan. Loren. Dafina. Malessaโ€”gods, had he killed her?

Vikter.

โ€œThat was very naughty,โ€ Hawke chided, snatching the sword out of my hand as if I hadnโ€™t been holding onto it. โ€œYou are so incredibly violent.โ€ He dipped his chin and whispered, โ€œIt still turns me on.โ€

A scream of fury tore out of me as I jabbed my elbow out and up, snapping Hawkeโ€™s head back. โ€œDammit,โ€ he said, coughingโ€”no, laughing. He wasย laughing. โ€œDidnโ€™t change what I just said.โ€

I spun and started for the doors but skidded to a stop as Elijah appeared in front of me, having moved in a blink of an eye. He shook his head no, tsking softly under his breath.

Turning, I saw Kieran, who looked bored, and I whirled, seeing an opening between the poles. I took offโ€”

Arms caught me around the waist, and Iโ€™d recognize the scent anywhere. Pine. Dark spice.ย Hawke. And the hard, earthen floor raced up toward my face. This was going to hurt. Bad.

The impact never came.

As agile as a cat, Hawke twisted so he took the brunt of the fall, but the landing still stunned me. For a moment, I couldnโ€™t move.

โ€œYouโ€™re welcome,โ€ grunted Hawke.

Shrieking, I slammed the heel of my booted foot into his shin. His gasp of pain brought a savage smile to my face as I rolled, twisting until my stomach screamed in protest, but I was able to turn in his loosened hold. I straddled himโ€”

Hawke grinned up at me, the dimple in his right cheek appearing. โ€œIโ€™m liking where this is headed.โ€

I punched him in the face, right in the godsdamn dimple. Pain lanced across my knuckles, but I drew my arm back.

Hawke caught my wrist and yanked me down until my body was almost flush with his. โ€œYou hit like youโ€™re angry with me.โ€

I shifted, jamming my knee down between his legs and aiming for a very sensitive area. He anticipated the move, and my knee hit him in the thigh.

โ€œThat wouldโ€™ve done some damage,โ€ he told me. โ€œGood,โ€ I growled.

โ€œNow, now. Youโ€™d be disappointed later if I couldnโ€™t use it.โ€

For a moment, I couldnโ€™t believe heโ€™d actually said that, but he had. He totally had. โ€œI would rather cut it from your body.โ€

โ€œLiar,โ€ he whispered.

The sound that came from inside me wouldโ€™ve scared me if it had come from anyone else. I jumped up, breaking his hold. I went to bring my foot down on his throat, but Hawke caught it and pulled. I went down, landing on my side. Pain flared, but I ignored it as I slammed my fist into his side.

โ€œDamn,โ€ Kieran drew the word out.

โ€œShould we intervene?โ€ Delano asked, sounding concerned.

โ€œNo,โ€ Elijah answered with a chuckle. โ€œThis is the best thing Iโ€™ve seen in a while. Who wouldโ€™ve thought the Maiden could throw down?โ€

โ€œThis is why you donโ€™t mix business with pleasure,โ€ Kieran commented.

โ€œIs that the case?โ€ Elijah whistled. โ€œMy money is on her then.โ€ โ€œTraitors,โ€ gasped Hawke, rolling me until he was on top. I went for

his face, but he caught my wrists. โ€œStop it.โ€

I tried to lift my hips, and when that didnโ€™t work, I pushed my upper body up. It took everything in me, and he simply pinned my wrists to the straw.

โ€œGet off me!โ€

โ€œStop it,โ€ he repeated. โ€œPoppy. Stopโ€”โ€

โ€œI hate you!โ€ I screamed at the sound of my name, ripping one hand free in my rage. I slammed my fist into his face. โ€œI hate you!โ€

Hawke caught my hand, jerking it back to the ground as his bloodied lips peeled back. โ€œStop it!โ€

I stopped.

I went completely still as I stared up at him, the shock robbing me of my ability to speak for several moments. I saw himโ€”saw him for what he really was.

He wasnโ€™t just any Descenter following the Dark One. โ€œThatโ€™s why you never really smiled,โ€ I whispered.

Because, how could he?

He had to hide the sharp, sharp teeth. Two of them.

Fangs.

I remembered the feel of them against my lips, my neckโ€”recalling how oddly sharp theyโ€™d felt.

Gods.

Now I understood how he could move so fast, why he seemed to have better hearing and eyesight than anyone Iโ€™d ever met, and why he sometimes sounded as if heโ€™d lived decades longer than I had. It was why he was quick to break a kiss whenever I came close to feeling his canines.

Iโ€™d been so blind. He wasnโ€™t mortal. He wasnโ€™t a wolven.

Hawke was an Atlantian.

I shuddered as something deep inside me withered. โ€œYouโ€™re a monster.โ€

Hawkeโ€™s eyes flared an intense gold, and they werenโ€™t normal. Theyโ€™d never been natural. โ€œYou finally see me for what I am.โ€

I did.

He was a thing of nightmares hidden in the guise of a dream, and I had fallen for it. I fell so hard.

The fight went out of me.

Him being a Descenter was bad enough, but an Atlantian? His people created the creatures whoโ€™d taken my mother and father from me, whoโ€™d almost killed me.

Hawke seemed to sense it because he moved swiftly, hauling me to my feet. โ€œDelano,โ€ he called. โ€œTake her.โ€

I was handed over like a bag of potatoes, and Delano kept my arms clamped to my sides.

โ€œWhere should I put her?โ€ Delano asked.

Hawkeโ€™s chest rose sharply. โ€œSomewhere where she canโ€™t escape and canโ€™t hurt herself.โ€ He paused. โ€œOr hurt anyone else, which is more likely than the former.โ€

โ€œAre we holding her prisoner?โ€ someone demanded. โ€œWeโ€™re keeping her alive? Will we feed and shelter that.โ€

That.

As if I were the monster, the one who supported the Dark One and could create Craven. These people were beyond help.

โ€œSheโ€™s the Maiden,โ€ another yelled. โ€œShe needs to die!โ€

A round of agreement sounded, and someone else said, โ€œSend her back to their counterfeit Queen and King. Just her head so they know what is coming for them.โ€

โ€œFrom blood and ash!โ€ shouted a young boy as he pushed to the front of the group. It was the kid from the day before, the one who had run from house to house.

My legs weakened.

Several voices answered, โ€œWe will rise!โ€

โ€œNo one touches her.โ€ Hawke scanned the group in the yard, silencing them. โ€œNo one,โ€ he repeated as he turned back. โ€œNo one but me.โ€

 

 

The moment I saw the dank and gloomy cells under the keep, and the twisted, white mass of bones that covered the entire length of the ceiling, the fight in me came back. There was no way I would just allow myself to be placed somewhere it appeared people never left. Not even when they died.

Delano hadnโ€™t been prepared.

I broke his hold and made it to the end of the hall only to realize the sole exit was the entrance. I squared off with him but was cornered, and with backup in the form of another who had eyes that were almost as gold as Hawkeโ€™s, I was dragged into the cell that had a thin mattress on the floor and then shackled, the cold iron snapping over my wrists.

And then I was alone.

I turned around, seeing no way out. The gaps in the bars were too narrow, and when I pulled on the chains, the hook they were connected to didnโ€™t budge.

Panic bubbled up as I took a step back. How had this happened? How did I go from anticipating a future that would be all mine, where I controlled what I did and what happened to me, to this? To being chained in a cell, surrounded by people who wanted to chop me into pieces?

I knew the answer. Hawke.

The slice of agony cutting through my chest overshadowed the pain in my stomach. My throat and eyes burned. Hawkeโ€ฆhe wasnโ€™t even mortal. He was an Atlantian, His people had created the Cravens that had become an unstoppable plague upon this land, the very same creatures whoโ€™d murdered my parents and almost killed me. He supported the Dark One, who had killed the last Maiden and was after me. Hawke and the wolven were the embodiment of anything the gods had turned against and the humans had rose up against. They were why the Ascended had been Blessed by the gods.

How had I not seen him for what he was? Could I be that foolish? Or was he simply that clever?

Or a mixture of both?

Because Hawke had been good. Heโ€™d said and done all the right things, and Iโ€™d been so desperate to make a real connection with someone, to experience life and feel alive. So desperate that anything that may have served as a warning wasnโ€™t even acknowledged. Heโ€™d come to Masadonia with one order: gain access to me. He had done that and more. Gained my friendship, my trust, myโ€ฆ

A pulsing, pounding anger and sorrow swept through me. I wanted to scream, but the sound couldnโ€™t make it past the knot of emotion in my throat.

Why did he have toโ€ฆdo what he had? Everything heโ€™d said and done was nothing more than clever artifice. When he told me that I was brave and strong. When he said I was beautiful. His seemingly single-minded focus hadnโ€™t been based on duty but on orders. And Iโ€™d believed it. Iโ€™d fallen for it.

Was anything true? His pain was.

That much I knew, but the source of it? I could no longer be sure.

Lifting trembling hands to my face, I tucked back the hair that had escaped my braid. Why did he have to go so far, though? Why did he have to get under my skin and into my heart? I didnโ€™t just trust him. Iโ€™d given myself to him. All of me.

And it had been a lie.

Heโ€™d known from the beginning who I was, from the very first night in the Red Pearl, and Iโ€™d unknowingly exposed so much about myself to him.

Moving to the corner of the cell, I sat on the mattress and slowly leaned against the wall, breathing out a slow, measured breath as a fiery ache sliced over my stomach. I glanced down at my right hand. The knuckles were bruised and swollen from the punch Iโ€™d delivered. My smile was quick to fade. I doubted Hawke showed any sign of injury. He was an Atlantian.

My stomach tumbled.

A part of me couldnโ€™t believe it. He seemed soโ€ฆmortal, but why should that surprise me? Atlantians could pass for mortals, just as the wolven could. Iโ€™d kissed an Atlantian.

Iโ€™dย sleptย with an Atlantian.

I squeezed my eyes shut as bile climbed up my throat. I couldnโ€™t think about that. It made screams echo in my mind. I needed to focus.

What was I going to do?

This whole town was full of Descenters and Atlantians who wanted me dead, and I couldnโ€™t be more grateful that Tawny had remained behind. Obviously, I was being held until the Dark One either arrived or sent orders. The Dark One had killed the last Maiden, and here I was, captured and ready for him. I needed to get out of here, but there was no way out.

I looked up, shuddering. The ropey, twining bones reminded me of the roots in the Blood Forest. They climbed and overlapped one another, ribcages and femurs, spines and skulls. Anyone held here had this to look at, most likely a reminder of what had happened to the prisoners housed here. Who would create such a thing? Who kept their grasp on sanity staring at that?

I didnโ€™t know how much time had passed before the door opened, and footsteps approached. It had to be hours based on how empty my stomach felt. I tensed, only relaxing minutely when I saw that it was Delano.

He stepped up to the bars, holding out a small pouch. โ€œHungry?โ€ Yes. I was, but I didnโ€™t answer.

Tossing the sack in, it landed by my feet with a softย thunk. I stared at

it.

โ€œItโ€™s some cheese and bread,โ€ Delano explained. โ€œI wouldโ€™ve brought

you some stew, but I feared you wouldโ€™ve thrown it in my face, and the stew is too good to waste.โ€

I looked over at him.

โ€œThereโ€™s nothing wrong with it. Itโ€™s not poisoned or anything.โ€ โ€œWhy would I trust anything you say?โ€

โ€œHe said no one touches you.โ€ He leaned against the bars. โ€œNo leap of logic to assume that would also include harming you.โ€

My lip curled. โ€œWhy wait? The Dark One is going to kill me eventually.โ€

Those pale eyes met mine. โ€œIf the Prince wanted you dead, youโ€™d already be dead. You should eat.โ€

Theย Prince. Just because the Descenters believed Casteel was the rightful heir, didnโ€™t make it true.

My gaze fell to the sack. I was hungry, and I needed my strengthโ€ฆand possibly a Healer because while the wound had stopped bleeding, it would probably get infected down here.

I moved gingerly, picking up the sack. โ€œAre you going to stand there and watch me eat?โ€

โ€œWouldnโ€™t want you to choke.โ€

I had the strangest urge to laugh, but I opened the pouch and ate the cheese and bread. The food settled in my empty stomach like clumps of stone.

Delano didnโ€™t speak after that. Neither did I, and I returned to leaning against the wall. Some time later, the door opened once more, and I looked out even though I didnโ€™t want to. I saw the tall, too-recognizable form garbed in black, looking so much like theโ€ฆlike the guard whoโ€™d teased me over Miss Willa Colynsโ€™ diary. My heart squeezed as if it were captured in a fist.

Hawke stopped in front of the barred door, his striking face both familiar and that of a stranger.

โ€œLeave,โ€ Hawke commanded, and Delano hesitated for only a moment before he issued a curt nod and was gone. Then there was just us, separated by bars.

โ€œPoppy,โ€ Hawke sighed, and I shuddered. โ€œWhat am I to do with you?โ€

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