โI know Iโm going to be sorry I asked this,โ Matt said, turning red-rimmed eyes from their contemplation of I-95 to Stefan in the passenger seat beside him. โBut can you tell me why we want these extra-special, not-available-locally, semi-tropical weeds for Elena?โ
Stefan looked into the backseat at the results of their search through hedgerows and rough grass. The plants, with their branching green stems and their small-toothed leaves, did look more like weeds than anything else. The dried remains of blossoms at the ends of the shoots were almost invisible, and no one could pretend the shoots themselves were decorative.
โWhat if I said they could be used to make an all-natural eyewash?โ he offered, after a momentโs thought. โOr an herbal tea?โ
โWhy? Were you thinking of saying something like that?โ โNot really.โ
โGood. Because if you did Iโd probably deck you.โ
Without actually looking at Matt, Stefan smiled. There was something new stirring inside him, something he hadnโt felt for nearly five centuries, except with Elena. Acceptance. Warmth and friendship shared with a fellow being, who did not know the truth about him but who trusted him anyway. Who was willing to take him on faith. He wasnโt sure he deserved it, but he couldnโt deny what it meant to him. It almost made him feel โฆ human again.
Elena stared at her image in the mirror. It hadnโt been a dream. Not entirely. The wounds in her neck proved that. And now that sheโd seen them, she noticed the feeling of light-headedness, of lethargy.
It was her own fault. Sheโd taken so much trouble to warn Bonnie and Meredith not to invite any strangers into their houses. And all the time sheโd forgotten that she herself had invited Damon into Bonnieโs house. Sheโd done it that night she had set up the dumb supper in Bonnieโs dining room and called out into the darkness, โCome in.โ
And the invitation was good forever. He could return any time he liked, even now. Especially now, while she was weak and might easily be hypnotized into unlocking a window again.
Elena stumbled out of the bathroom, past Bonnie, and into the guest bedroom. She grabbed her tote bag and began stu ng things into it.
โElena, you canโt go home!โ
โI canโt stay here,โ Elena said. She looked around for her shoes, spotted them by the bed, and started forward. Then she stopped, with a strangled sound. Lying on the dainty crumpled linen of the bed there was a single black feather. It was huge, horribly huge and real and solid, with a thick, waxy-looking shaft. It looked almost obscene resting there on the white percale sheets.
Nausea swept over Elena, and she turned away. She couldnโt breathe.
โOkay, okay,โ Bonnie said. โIf you feel that way about it, Iโll get Dad to take you home.โ
โYou have to come, too.โ It had just dawned on Elena that Bonnie was no safer in this house than she was.ย You and your loved ones,ย she remembered, and turned to grasp Bonnieโs arm. โYouย haveย to, Bonnie. I need you with me.โ
And at last she got her way. The McCulloughs thought she was hysterical, that she was overreacting, possibly that she was having a nervous breakdown. But finally they gave in. Mr. McCullough drove her and Bonnie to the Gilbert house, where, feeling like burglars, they unlocked the door and crept inside without waking anyone up.
Even here, Elena couldnโt sleep. She lay beside Bonnieโs softly breathing form, staring toward her bedroom window, watching.
Outside, the quince branches squeaked against the glass, but nothing else moved until dawn.
That was when she heard the car. Sheโd know the wheezing sound of Mattโs engine anywhere. Alarmed, she tiptoed to the window and looked out into the early-morning stillness of another gray day. Then she hurried downstairs and opened the front door.
โStefan!โ She had never been so glad to see anyone in her life. She flung herself upon him before he could even shut the car door. He swayed backward with the force of her impact, and she could feel his surprise. She wasnโt usually so demonstrative in public.
โHey,โ he said, returning the hug gently. โMe, too, but donโt crush the flowers.โ
โFlowers?โ She pulled back to look at what he was carrying; then, she looked at his face. Then at Matt, who was emerging from the other side of the car. Stefanโs face was pale and drawn; Mattโs was puffy with tiredness, with bloodshot eyes.
โYouโd better come inside,โ she said at last, bewildered. โYou both look awful.โ
โItโs vervain,โ said Stefan, some time later. He and Elena were sitting at the kitchen table. Through the open doorway, Matt could be seen stretched out on the family room sofa, snoring gently. Heโd flopped there after eating three bowls of cereal. Aunt tudith, Bonnie, and Margaret were still upstairs asleep, but Stefan kept his voice low just the same. โYou remember what I told you about it?โ he said.
โYou said it helps keep your mind clear even when someone is using Power to influence it.โ Elena was proud of how steady her voice was.
โRight. And thatโs one of the things Damon might try. He can use the power of his mind even from a distance, and he can do it whether youโre awake or asleep.โ
Tears filled Elenaโs eyes, and she looked down to hide them, gazing at the long slender stems with the dried remains of tiny
lilac flowers at the very tips. โAsleep?โ she said, afraid that this time her voice was not as steady.
โYes. He could influence you to come out of the house, say, or to let him in. But the vervain should prevent that.โ Stefan sounded tired, but satisfied with himself.
Oh, Stefan, if you only knew, Elena thought. The gift had come one night too late. In spite of all her efforts, a tear fell, dripping onto the long green leaves.
โElena!โ He sounded startled. โWhat is it? Tell me.โ
He was trying to look into her face, but she bowed her head, pressing it into his shoulder. He put his arms around her, not trying to force her up again. โTell me,โ he repeated softly.
This was the moment. If she was ever going to tell him, it should be now. Her throat felt burned and swollen, and she wanted to let all the words inside pour out.
But she couldnโt. No matter what, I wonโt let them fight over me, she thought.
โItโs just thatโI was worried about you,โ she managed. โI didnโt know where youโd gone, or when you were coming back.โ
โI should have told you. But thatโs all? Thereโs nothing else upsetting you?โ
โThatโs all.โ Now she would have to swear Bonnie to secrecy about the crow. Why did one lie always lead to another? โWhat should we do with the vervain?โ she asked, sitting back.
โIโll show you tonight. Once Iโve extracted the oil from the seeds, you can rub it into your skin or add it to a bath. And you can make the dried leaves into a sachet and carry it with you or put it under your pillow at night.โ
โIโd better give them to Bonnie and Meredith, too. Theyโll need protection.โ
He nodded. โFor nowโโhe broke off a sprig and placed it in her handโโjust take this to school with you. Iโm going back to the boarding house to extract the oil.โ He paused a moment and then spoke. โElena โฆโ
โYes?โ
โIf I thought it would do you any good, Iโd leave. I wouldnโt expose you to Damon. But I donโt think heโd follow me if I went, not anymore. I think he might stayโbecause of you.โ
โDonโt evenย thinkย about leaving,โ she said fiercely, looking up at him. โStefan, thatโs the one thing I couldnโt stand. Promise you wonโt; promise me.โ
โI wonโt leave you alone with him,โ Stefan said, which was not quite the same thing. But there was no point in pushing him further.
Instead, she helped him wake up Matt, and saw them both off. Then, with a stem of dried vervain in her hand, she went upstairs to get ready for school.
Bonnie yawned all the way through breakfast and she didnโt really wake up until they were outside, walking to school with a brisk breeze in their faces. It was going to be a cold day.
โI had a very weird dream last night,โ Bonnie said.
Elenaโs heart jumped. Sheโd already tucked a sprig of vervain into Bonnieโs backpack, down at the bottom, where Bonnie wouldnโt see it. But if Damon had gotten to Bonnie last night โฆ
โWhat about?โ she said, bracing herself.
โAbout you. I saw you standing under a tree and the wind was blowing. For some reason, I was afraid of you, and I didnโt want to go any closer. You looked โฆ different. Very pale but almost glowing. And then a crow flew down from the tree, and you reached out and grabbed it in midair. You were so fast it was unbelievable. And then you looked over at me, with this expression. You were smiling, but it made me want to run. And then you twisted the crowโs neck, and it was dead.โ
Elena had listened to this with growing horror. Now she said, โThatโs aย disgustingย dream.โ
โIt is, isnโt it?โ said Bonnie composedly. โI wonder what it means? Crows are birds of ill omen in the legends. They can foretell a death.โ
โIt probably meant that you knew how upset I was, finding that crow in the room.โ
โYes,โ Bonnie said. โExcept for one thing. I had this dream
beforeย you woke us all up screaming.โ
That day at lunchtime there was another piece of violet paper on the o ce bulletin board. This one, though, read simply:ย LOO7 IN PERSONALS.
โWhat personals?โ said Bonnie.
Meredith, walking up at that moment with a copy of theย Wildcat Weekly,ย the school newspaper, provided the answer. โHave you seen this?โ she said.
It was in the personals section, completely anonymous, with neither salutation nor signature.ย I canโt bear the thought of losing him. But heโs so very unhappy about something, and if he wonโt tell me what it is, if he wonโt trust me that much, I donโt see any hope for us.
Reading it, Elena felt a burst of new energy through her tiredness. Oh, God, she hated whoever was doing this. She imagined shooting them, stabbing them, watching them fall. And then, vividly, she imagined something else. Yanking back a fistful of the thiefโs hair and sinking her teeth into an unprotected throat. It was a strange, unsettling vision, but for a moment it almost seemed real.
She became aware that Bonnie and Meredith were looking at her.
โWell?โ she said, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
โI could tell you werenโt listening,โ sighed Bonnie. โI just said it still doesnโt look like Daโlike the killerโs work to me. It doesnโt seem like a murderer would be so petty.โ
โMuch as I hate to agree with her, sheโs right,โ Meredith said. โThis smells like someone sneaky. Someone who has a grudge against you personally and who really wants to make you suffer.โ
Saliva had collected in Elenaโs mouth, and she swallowed. โAlso somebody whoโs familiar with the school. They had to fill out a form for a personals message in one of the journalism classes,โ she said.
โAnd somebody who knew you kept a diary, assuming they stole it on purpose. Maybe they were in one of your classes that day you took it to school. Remember? When Mr. Tanner almost caught you,โ Bonnie added.
โMs. Halpernย didย catch me; she even read some of it aloud, a bit about Stefan. That was right after Stefan and I got together. Wait a minute, Bonnie. That night at your house when the diary was stolen, how long were you two out of the living room?โ
โtust a few minutes. Yangtze had stopped barking, and I went to the door to let him in, and โฆโ Bonnie pressed her lips together and shrugged.
โSo the thief had to be familiar with your house,โ said Meredith swiftly, โor he or she wouldnโt have been able to get in, get the diary, and get out again before we saw them. All right, then, weโre looking for someone sneaky and cruel, probably in one of your classes, Elena, and most likely familiar with Bonnieโs house. Someone who has a personal grudge and will stoop to anything to get you โฆ Oh, my God.โ
The three of them stared at one another.
โIt has to be,โ whispered Bonnie. โIt has to.โ
โWeโre so stupid; we should have seen it right away,โ said Meredith.
For Elena, it meant the sudden realization that all the anger sheโd felt about this before was nothing to the anger she was capable of feeling. A candle flame to the sun.
โCaroline,โ she said, and clenched her teeth so hard her jaw hurt.
Caroline. Elena actually felt she could kill the green-eyed girl right now. And she might have rushed out to try if Bonnie and Meredith hadnโt stopped her.
โAfter school,โ said Meredith firmly, โwhen we can take her somewhere private. tust wait that long, Elena.โ
But as they headed for the cafeteria, Elena noticed an auburn head disappearing down the art and music corridor. And she remembered something Stefan had said earlier this year, about
Caroline taking him into the photography room at lunchtime. For privacy, Caroline had told him.
โYou two go on; I forgot something,โ she said as soon as Bonnie and Meredith both had food on their cafeteria trays. Then she pretended to be deaf as she walked rapidly out and backtracked to the art wing.
All the rooms were dark, but the photography roomโs door was unlocked. Something made Elena turn the knob cautiously, and move quietly once she was inside, rather than marching in to start a confrontation as sheโd planned. Was Caroline in here? If so, what was she doing alone in the dark?
The room appeared at first to be deserted. Then Elena heard the murmur of voices from a small alcove at the back, and she saw that the darkroom door was ajar.
Silently, stealthily, she made her way until she stood just outside the doorway, and the murmur of sound resolved itself into words.
โBut how can we be sure sheโll be the one they pick?โ That was Caroline.
โMy fatherโs on the school board. Theyโll pick her, all right.โ Andย thatย was Tyler Smallwood. His father was a lawyer, and on every board there was. โBesides, who else would it be?โ he continued. โโThe Spirit of Fellโs Churchโ is supposed to be brainy as well as built.โ
โAndย Iย donโt have brains, I suppose?โ
โDid I say that? Look, if you want to be the one to parade in a white dress on Foundersโ Day, fine. But if you want to see Stefan Salvatore run out of town on the evidence of his own girlfriendโs diary โฆโ
โBut why wait so long?โ
Tyler sounded impatient. โBecause this way itโll ruin the celebration, too. The Fellsโ celebration. Why should they get the credit for founding this town? The Small woods were here first.โ
โOh, who cares about who founded the town? All I want is to see Elena humiliated in front of the entire school.โ
โAnd Salvatore.โ The pure hatred and malice in Tylerโs voice made Elenaโs flesh crawl. โHeโll be lucky if he doesnโt end up hanging from a tree. Youโre sure the evidence is there?โ
โHow many times do I have to tell you? First, it says she lost the ribbon on September second in the cemetery. Then, it says Stefan picked it up that day and kept it. Wickery Bridge is right beside the cemetery. That means Stefan was near the bridge on September second, the night the old man was attacked there. Everybody already knows he was on hand for the attacks on Vickie and Tanner. What more do you want?โ
โIt would never stand up in court. Maybe I should get some corroborating evidence. Like ask old Mrs. Flowers what time he got home that night.โ
โOh, whoย cares?ย Most people think heโs guilty already. The diary talks about some big secret heโs hiding from everyone. People will get the idea.โ
โYouโre keeping it in a safe place?โ
โNo, Tyler, Iโm keeping it out on the coffee table. How stupid do you think I am?โ
โStupid enough to send Elena notes tipping her off.โ There was a crackle, as of newspaper. โLook at this, this is unbelievable. And itโs got to stop,ย now.ย What if she figures out whoโs doing it?โ
โWhatโs she going to do about it, call the police?โ
โI still want you to lay off. tust wait until Foundersโ Day, then youโll get to watch the Ice Princess melt.โ
โAnd to sayย ciaoย to Stefan. Tyler โฆ nobodyโs really going to hurt him, are they?โ
โWhoย cares?โย Tyler mocked her earlier tone. โYou leave that to me and my friends, Caroline. You just do your part, okay?โ
Carolineโs voice dropped to a throaty murmur. โConvince me.โ After a pause Tyler chuckled.
There was movement, rustling sounds, a sigh. Elena turned and slipped out of the room as quietly as she had come in.
She got into the next hallway, and then she leaned against the lockers there, trying to think.
It was almost too much to absorb at once. Caroline, who had once been her best friend, had betrayed her and wanted to see her humiliated in front of the whole school. Tyler, whoโd always seemed more an annoying jerk than a real threat, was planning to get Stefan driven out of townโor killed. And the worst thing was that they were using Elenaโs own diary to do it.
Now she understood the beginning of her dream last night. Sheโd had a dream like it the day before she had discovered that Stefan was missing. In both, Stefan had looked at her with angry, accusing eyes, and then he had thrown a book at her feet and walked away.
Not a book. Her diary. Which had in it evidence that could be deadly to Stefan. Three times people in Fellโs Church had been attacked, and three times Stefan had been on the scene. What would that look like to the town, to the police?
And there was no way to tell the truth. Supposing she said, โStefan isnโt guilty. Itโs his brother Damon who hates him and who knows how much Stefan hates even the thought of hurting and killing. And who followed Stefan around and attacked people to make Stefan think maybe Stefan had done it, to drive him mad. And whoโs here in townย somewhereโlook for him in the cemetery or in the woods. But, oh, by the way, donโt just search for a good- looking guy, because he might be a crow at the moment.
โIncidentally, heโs a vampire.โ
She didnโt even believe it herself. It sounded ludicrous.
A twinge from the side of her neck reminded her how serious the ludicrous story really was. She felt odd today, almost as if she were sick. It was more than just tension and lack of sleep. She felt slightly dizzy, and at times the ground seemed to be spongy, giving way under her feet and then springing back. Flu symptoms, except that she was sure they werenโt due to anyย virusย in her bloodstream.
Damonโs fault, again. Everything was Damonโs fault except the diary. She had no one to blame for that but herself. If only she hadnโt written about Stefan, if only she hadnโt brought the diary to school. If only she hadnโt left it in Bonnieโs living room. If only, if only.
Right now all that mattered was that she had to get it back.