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Chapter no 6

The Struggle (The Vampire Diaries 2)

Stefan sat in the Gilbert living room, agreeing politely with whatever it was Aunt tudith was saying. The older woman was uncomfortable having him here; you didnโ€™t need to be a mind reader to know that. But she was trying, and so Stefan was trying, too. He wanted Elena to be happy.

Elena. Even when he wasnโ€™t looking at her, he was aware of her more than of anything else in the room. Her living presence beat against his skin like sunlight against closed eyelids. When he actually let himself turn to face her, it was a sweet shock to all his senses.

He loved her so much. He never saw her as Katherine anymore; he had almost forgotten how much she looked like the dead girl. In any case there were so many differences. Elena had the same pale gold hair and creamy skin, the same delicate features as Katherine, but there the resemblance ended. Her eyes, looking violet in the firelight just now but normally a blue as dark as lapis lazuli, were neither timid nor childlike as Katherineโ€™s had been. On the contrary, they were windows to her soul, which shone like an eager flame behind them. Elena was Elena, and her image had replaced Katherineโ€™s gentle ghost in his heart.

But her very strength made their love dangerous. He hadnโ€™t been able to resist her last week when sheโ€™d offered him her blood. Granted, he might have died without it, but it had been far too soon for Elenaโ€™s own safety. For the hundredth time, his eyes moved over Elenaโ€™s face, searching for the telltale signs of change. Was that creamy skin a little paler? Was her expression slightly more remote?

They would have to be careful from now on.ย Heย would have to be more careful. Make sure to feed often, satisfy himself with animals, so he wouldnโ€™t be tempted. Never let the need get too strong. Now that he thought of it, he was hungry right now. The

dry ache, the burning, was spreading along his upper jaw, whispering through his veins and capillaries. He should be out in the woodsโ€”senses alert to catch the slightest crackle of dry twigs, muscles ready for the chaseโ€”not here by a fire watching the tracery of pale blue veins in Elenaโ€™s throat.

That slim throat turned as Elena looked at him.

โ€œDo you want to go to that party tonight? We can take Aunt tudithโ€™s car,โ€ she said.

โ€œBut you ought to stay for dinner first,โ€ said Aunt tudith quickly.

โ€œWe can pick up something on the way.โ€ Elena meant they could pick up something for her, Stefan thought. He himself could chew and swallow ordinary food if he had to, though it did him no good, and he had long since lost any taste for it. No, his โ€ฆ appetites โ€ฆ were more particular now, he thought. And if they went to this party, it would mean hours more before he could feed. But he nodded agreement to Elena.

โ€œIf you want to,โ€ he said.

She did want to; she was set on it. Heโ€™d seen that from the beginning. โ€œAll right then, Iโ€™d better change.โ€

He followed her to the base of the stairway. โ€œWear something with a high neck. A sweater,โ€ he told her in a voice too low to carry.

She glanced through the doorway, to the empty living room, and said, โ€œItโ€™s all right. Theyโ€™re almost healed already. See?โ€ She tugged her lacy collar down, twisting her head to one side.

Stefan stared, mesmerized, at the two round marks on the fine- grained skin. They were a very light translucent burgundy color, like much-watered wine. He set his teeth and forced his eyes away. Looking much longer at that would drive him crazy.

โ€œThat wasnโ€™t what I meant,โ€ he said brusquely.

The shining veil of her hair fell over the marks again, hiding them. โ€œOh.โ€

โ€œCome in!โ€

As they did, walking into the room, conversations stopped. Elena looked at the faces turned toward them, at the curious, furtive eyes and the wary expressions. Not the kind of looks she was used to getting when she made an entrance.

It was another student whoโ€™d opened the door for them; Alaric Saltzman was nowhere in sight. But Caroline was, seated on a bar stool, which showed off her legs to their best advantage. She gave Elena a mocking look and then made some remark to a boy on her right. He laughed.

Elena could feel her smile start to go painful, while a flush crept up toward her face. Then a familiar voice came to her.

โ€œElena, Stefan! Over here.โ€

Gratefully, she spotted Bonnie sitting with Meredith and Ed Goff on a loveseat in the corner. She and Stefan settled on a large ottoman opposite them, and she heard conversations start to pick up again around the room.

By tacit agreement, no one mentioned the awkwardness of Elena and Stefanโ€™s arrival. Elena was determined to pretend that everything was as usual.

And Bonnie and Meredith were backing her. โ€œYou look great,โ€ said Bonnie warmly. โ€œI just love that red sweater.โ€

โ€œShe does look nice. Doesnโ€™t she, Ed?โ€ said Meredith, and Ed, looking vaguely startled, agreed.

โ€œSo your class was invited to this, too,โ€ Elena said to Meredith. โ€œI thought maybe it was just seventh period.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know ifย invitedย is the word,โ€ replied Meredith dryly. โ€œConsidering that participation is half our grade.โ€

โ€œDo you think he was serious about that? He couldnโ€™t be serious,โ€ put in Ed.

Elena shrugged. โ€œHe sounded serious to me. Whereโ€™s Ray?โ€ she asked Bonnie.

โ€œRay? Oh, Ray. I donโ€™t know, around somewhere, I suppose.

Thereโ€™s a lot of people here.โ€

That was true. The Ramsey living room was packed, and from what Elena could see the crowd flowed into the dining room, the

front parlor, and probably the kitchen as well. Elbows kept brushing Elenaโ€™s hair as people circulated behind her.

โ€œWhat did Saltzman want with you after class?โ€ Stefan was saying.

โ€œAlaric,โ€ Bonnie corrected primly. โ€œHe wants us to call him Alaric. Oh, he was just being nice. He felt awful for making me relive such an agonizing experience. He didnโ€™t know exactly how Mr. Tanner died, and he hadnโ€™t realized I was so sensitive. Of course, heโ€™s incredibly sensitive himself, so he understands what itโ€™s like. Heโ€™s an Aquarius.โ€

โ€œWith a moon rising in pickup lines,โ€ said Meredith under her breath. โ€œBonnie, you donโ€™t believe that garbage, do you? Heโ€™s a teacher; he shouldnโ€™t be trying that out on students.โ€

โ€œHe wasnโ€™t trying anything out! He said exactly the same thing to Tyler and Sue Carson. He said we should form a support group for each other or write an essay about that night to get our feelings out. He said teenagers are all very impressionable and he didnโ€™t want the tragedy to have a lasting impact on our lives.โ€

โ€œOh, brother,โ€ said Ed, and Stefan turned a laugh into a cough. He wasnโ€™t amused, though, and his question to Bonnie hadnโ€™t been just idle curiosity. Elena could tell; she could feel it radiating from him. Stefan felt about Alaric Saltzman the way that most of the people in this room felt about Stefan. Wary and mistrustful.

โ€œItย wasย strange, him acting as if the party was a spontaneous idea in our class,โ€ she said, responding unconsciously to Stefanโ€™s unspoken words, โ€œwhen obviously it had been planned.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s even stranger is the idea that the school would hire a teacher without telling him how the previous teacher died,โ€ said Stefan. โ€œEveryone was talking about it; it must have been in the papers.โ€

โ€œBut not all the details,โ€ said Bonnie firmly. โ€œIn fact, there are things the police still havenโ€™t let out because they think it might help them catch the killer. For instanceโ€โ€”she dropped her voice

โ€”โ€œdo you know what Mary said? Dr. Feinberg was talking to the

guy who did the autopsy, the medical examiner. And he said that there was no blood left in the body at all. Not a drop.โ€

Elena felt an icy wind blow through her, as if she stood once again in the graveyard. She couldnโ€™t speak. But Ed said, โ€œWhereโ€™d it go?โ€

โ€œWell, all over the floor, I suppose,โ€ said Bonnie calmly. โ€œAll over the altar and everything. Thatโ€™s what the police are investigating now. But itโ€™s unusual for a corpse not to have any blood left; usually thereโ€™s some that settles down on the underside of the body. Postmortem lividity, itโ€™s called. It looks like big purple bruises. Whatโ€™s wrong?โ€

โ€œYour incredible sensitivity has me ready to throw up,โ€ said Meredith in a strangled voice. โ€œCould we possibly talk about something else?โ€

“Youย werenโ€™t the one with blood all over you,โ€ Bonnie began, but Stefan interrupted her.

โ€œHave the investigators come to any conclusions from what theyโ€™ve learned? Are they any closer to finding the killer?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ said Bonnie, and then she brightened. โ€œThatโ€™s right, Elena, you said you knewโ€”โ€

โ€œShut up, Bonnie,โ€ said Elena desperately. If there ever were a place not to discuss this, it was in a crowded room surrounded by people who hated Stefan. Bonnieโ€™s eyes widened, and then she nodded, subsiding.

Elena could not relax, though. Stefan hadnโ€™t killed Mr. Tanner, and yet the same evidence that would lead to Damon could as easily lead to him. Andย wouldย lead to him, because no one but she and Stefan knew of Damonโ€™s existence. He was out there, somewhere, in the shadows. Waiting for his next victim. Maybe waiting for Stefanโ€”or for her.

โ€œIโ€™m hot,โ€ she said abruptly. โ€œI think Iโ€™ll go see what kinds of refreshmentsย Alaricย has provided.โ€

Stefan started to rise, but Elena waved him back down. He wouldnโ€™t have any use for potato chips and punch. And she wanted to be alone for a few minutes, to be moving instead of sitting, to calm herself.

Being with Meredith and Bonnie had given her a false sense of security. Leaving them, she was once again confronted by sidelong glances and suddenly turned backs. This time it made her angry. She moved through the crowd with deliberate insolence, holding any eye she accidentally caught. Iโ€™m already notorious, she thought. I might as well be brazen, too.

She was hungry. In the Ramsey dining room someone had set up an assortment of finger foods that looked surprisingly good. Elena took a paper plate and dropped a few carrot sticks on it, ignoring the people around the bleached oak table. She wasnโ€™t going to speak to them unless they spoke first. She gave her full attention to the refreshments, leaning past people to select cheese wedges and Ritz crackers, reaching in front of them to pluck grapes, ostentatiously looking up and down the whole array to see if there was anything sheโ€™d missed.

Sheโ€™d succeeded in riveting everyoneโ€™s attention, something she knew without raising her eyes. She bit delicately down on a bread stick, holding it between her teeth like a pencil, and turned from the table.

โ€œMind if I have a bite?โ€

Shock snapped her eyes wide open and froze her breath. Her mind jammed, refusing to acknowledge what was going on, and leaving her helpless, vulnerable, in the face of it. But though rational thought had disappeared, her senses went right on recording mercilessly: dark eyes dominating her field of vision, a whiff of some kind of cologne in her nostrils, two long fingers tilting her chin up. Damon leaned in, and, neatly and precisely, bit off the other end of the bread stick.

In that moment, their lips were only inches apart. He was leaning in for a second bite before Elenaโ€™s wits revived enough to throw her backward, her hand grabbing the bit of crisp bread and tossing it away. He caught it in midair, a virtuoso display of reflex.

His eyes were still on hers. Elena got in a breath at last and opened her mouth; she wasnโ€™t sure what for. To scream, probably. To warn all these people to run out into the night. Her heart was pounding like a trip-hammer, her vision blurred.

โ€œEasy, easy.โ€ He took the plate from her and then somehow got hold of her wrist. He was holding it lightly, the way Mary had felt for Stefanโ€™s pulse. As she continued to stare and gasp, he stroked it with his thumb, as if comforting her. โ€œEasy. Itโ€™s all right.โ€

What are you doing here? she thought. The scene around her seemed eerily bright and unnatural. It was like one of those nightmares when everything is ordinary, just like waking life; and then suddenly something grotesque happens. He was going to kill them all.

“Elena? Are you okay?โ€ย Sue Carson was talking to her, gripping her shoulder.

โ€œI think she choked on something,โ€ Damon said, releasing Elenaโ€™s wrist. โ€œBut sheโ€™s all right now. Why donโ€™t you introduce us?โ€

He was going to kill them allโ€ฆ.

โ€œElena, this is Damon, um โ€ฆโ€ Sue spread an apologetic hand, and Damon finished for her.

โ€œSmith.โ€ He lifted a paper cup toward Elena.ย “La vita.โ€ โ€œWhat are you doing here?โ€ she whispered.

โ€œHeโ€™s a college student,โ€ Sue volunteered, when it became apparent that Damon wasnโ€™t going to answer. โ€œFromโ€”University of Virginia, was it? William and Mary?โ€

โ€œAmong other places,โ€ Damon said, still looking at Elena. He hadnโ€™t glanced at Sue once. โ€œI like to travel.โ€

The world had snapped into place again around Elena, but it was a chilling world. There were people on every side, watching this exchange with fascination, keeping her from speaking freely. But they were also keeping her safe. For whatever reason, Damon was playing a game, pretending to be one of them. And while the masquerade went on, he wouldnโ€™t do anything to her in front of a crowd โ€ฆ she hoped.

A game. But he was making up the rules. He was standing here in the Ramseysโ€™ dining room playing with her.

โ€œHeโ€™s just down for a few days,โ€ Sue was continuing helpfully. โ€œVisitingโ€”friends, did you say? Or relatives?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ said Damon.

โ€œYouโ€™re lucky to be able to take off whenever you want,โ€ Elena said. She didnโ€™t know what was possessing her, to make her try and unmask him.

โ€œLuck has very little to do with it,โ€ said Damon. โ€œDo you like dancing?โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s your major?โ€

He smiled at her. โ€œAmerican folklore. Did you know, for instance, that a mole on the neck means youโ€™ll be wealthy? Do you mind if I check?โ€

โ€œIย mind.โ€ The voice came from behind Elena. It was clear and cold and quiet. Elena had heard Stefan speak in that tone only once: when he had found Tyler trying to assault her in the graveyard. Damonโ€™s fingers stilled on her throat, and, released from his spell, she stepped back.

โ€œBut do you matter?โ€ he said.

The two of them faced each other under the faintly flickering yellow light of the brass chandelier.

Elena was aware of layers of her own thoughts, like a parfait. Everyoneโ€™s staring; this must be better than the moviesโ€ฆ. I didnโ€™t realize Stefan was tallerโ€ฆ. Thereโ€™s Bonnie and Meredith wondering whatโ€™s going onโ€ฆ. Stefanโ€™s angry but heโ€™s still weak, still hurtingโ€ฆ. If he goes for Damon now, heโ€™ll loseโ€ฆ.

And in front of all these people. Her thoughts came to a clattering halt as everything fell into place. That was what Damon was here for, to make Stefan attack him, apparently unprovoked. No matter what happened after that, he won. If Stefan drove him away, it would just be more proof of Stefanโ€™s โ€œtendency toward violence.โ€ More evidence for Stefanโ€™s accusers. And if Stefan lost the fight โ€ฆ

It would mean his life, thought Elena. Oh, Stefan, heโ€™s so much stronger right now; please donโ€™t do it. Donโ€™t play into his hands. Heย wantsย to kill you; heโ€™s just looking for a chance.

She made her limbs move, though they were stiff and awkward as a marionetteโ€™s. โ€œStefan,โ€ she said, taking his cold hand in hers, โ€œletโ€™s go home.โ€

She could feel the tension in his body, like an electric current running underneath his skin. At this moment, he was completely focused on Damon, and the light in his eyes was like fire reflecting off a dagger blade. She didnโ€™t recognize him in this mood, didnโ€™t know him. He frightened her.

“Stefan,โ€ย she said, calling to him as if she were lost in fog and couldnโ€™t find him. โ€œStefan,ย please.โ€

And slowly, slowly, she felt him respond. She heard him breathe and felt his body go off alert, clicking down to some lower energy level. The deadly concentration of his mind was diverted and he looked at her, and saw her.

โ€œAll right,โ€ he said softly, looking into her eyes. โ€œLetโ€™s go.โ€

She kept her hands on him as they turned away, one clasping his hand, the other tucked inside his arm. By sheer force of will, she managed not to look over her shoulder as they walked away, but the skin on her back tingled and crawled as if expecting the stab of a knife.

Instead, she heard Damonโ€™s low ironical voice: โ€œAnd have you heard that kissing a red-haired girl cures fever blisters?โ€ And then Bonnieโ€™s outrageous, flattered laughter.

On the way out, they finally ran into their host.

โ€œLeaving so soon?โ€ Alaric said. โ€œBut I havenโ€™t even had a chance to talk to you yet.โ€

He looked both eager and reproachful, like a dog that knows perfectly well itโ€™sย notย going to be taken on a walk but wags anyway. Elena felt worry blossom in her stomach for him and everyone else in the house. She and Stefan were leaving them to Damon.

Sheโ€™d just have to hope her earlier assessment was right and he wanted to continue the masquerade. Right now she had enough to do getting Stefan out of here before he changed his mind.

โ€œIโ€™m not feeling very well,โ€ she said as she picked up her purse where it lay by the ottoman. โ€œSorry.โ€ She increased the pressure on Stefanโ€™s arm. It would take very little to get him to turn back and head for the dining room right now.

“Iโ€™mย sorry,โ€ said Alaric. โ€œGood-bye.โ€

They were on the threshold before she saw the little slip of violet paper stuck into the side pocket of her purse. She pulled it out and unfolded it almost by reflex, her mind on other things.

There was writing on it, plain and bold and unfamiliar. tust three lines. She read them and felt the world rock. This was too much; she couldnโ€™t deal with anything more.

โ€œWhat is it?โ€ said Stefan.

โ€œNothing.โ€ She thrust the bit of paper back into the side pocket, pushing it down with her fingers. โ€œItโ€™s nothing, Stefan. Letโ€™s get outside.โ€

They stepped out into driving needles of rain.

โ€Œ

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