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Chapter no 36 – Paedyn

Powerless (The Powerless Trilogy, #1)

โ€œFocus, Paedyn. Just calm down and focus. You can do this.โ€

I nod in response to Kittโ€™s reassuring words, shutting my eyes before taking a deep breath. After a moment, I peek at him and nod again. โ€œOkay. Iโ€™m ready.โ€

Kitt heaves a dramatic sigh, his eyes filled with amusement. Then he says, slowly, โ€œThree…โ€ I smile knowingly back at him. โ€œTwo…โ€ I tilt my head up. โ€œOne.โ€

In a flash, he throws something into the air. I open my mouth expectantly, ready to savor the sweetness of the chocolate, only for it to land on my nose before bouncing off onto the floor.

Kittโ€™s laughter echoes off the walls of the busy kitchen, and I catch the servants smiling at the familiar sound. He holds a hand up to me when I start to speak, clearly needing a moment to collect himself before he looks at me. But when he finally straightens and meets my gaze, heโ€™s laughing again.

โ€œOkay, so my coordination when it comes to catching food in my mouth isnโ€™t…great,โ€ I mumble, unable to stop my smile from spreading.

โ€œIsnโ€™tย great?โ€ Kitt runs a hand through his messy hair, still choking on laughter. โ€œTell that to Gail who has wasted half her chocolates on you.โ€

I cross my arms defiantly. โ€œWell, you didnโ€™t catch every chocolate either,ย Your Majesty.โ€

Kitt leans closer and flashes me a smile. โ€œTrue. But I at least ate the evidence. You, on the other hand,โ€ his gaze slides to the floor now littered with sweets, โ€œdid not.โ€

I snort, drop to the ground, and begin collecting the tiny chocolates in my cupped hand. Kittโ€™s suddenly crouching in front of me, helping place them in my awaiting palm. I stare at him for a moment, still stunned with every show of kindness or shared smile. But with all the time Iโ€™ve been spending with him lately, the differences between the king and his son seem to surprise me less and less.

A partnership I only accepted to get noticed by the people has now blossomed into an unlikely friendship. It isnโ€™t hard to spend most of my days talking and spending time with the future king to find the tunnel for the Resistance. None of it is hard, though the guilt that is eating away at me for doing it is. I selfishly find myself wishing he were more like his father because it would make this betrayal far more bearable.

A small, pretty servant passes by, gasping at the sight of us. โ€œI know, I know.โ€ Kitt sighs, โ€œSheโ€™s horrible at catching things in her mouth.โ€

โ€œNo, no, Your Highness!โ€ The servant rushes over, alarm written all over her face. โ€œPlease, donโ€™t trouble yourself! Iโ€™ll clean this up right away!โ€ Before I can speak, sheโ€™s already dropped beside me and begun plucking the chocolates from my palm.

โ€œThank you, Liza,โ€ Kitt says, standing. He holds out his hands for me, and I take them, letting him pull me to my feet.

Liza smiles at her prince. โ€œItโ€™s my pleasure, Your Highness.โ€

Of course he knows his servants by name.

Dozens of them bustle about around us, bumping into each other in their haste to get where they need to be while a booming voice calls out to us. โ€œKitt, I love you, dear, but I donโ€™t think my kitchen can hold one more person!โ€ I spot Gail eying us from across the room, smiling at what she sees. Then she gestures with her hands, shooing us out the door. โ€œBut since Iโ€™m kicking you out, you will have to come visit me again soon.โ€

Kitt chuckles and places a gentle hand on my back, and I donโ€™t flinch away from his touch. He guides me towards the door while calling out, โ€œOh, you couldnโ€™t keep me away, Gail.โ€

The hallway is teeming with servants, all busy and bustling in preparation for the next ball tomorrow nightโ€”a reminder of the dwindling time I have left to find the tunnel that leads into the box.

I have spent day after day with Kitt, earning his trust all while crafting a plan to get the information I need.

I almost run into a servant, or rather, they almost run into me. The gangly boy shouts his apologies before scurrying off to wherever it is he needs to go.

Perfect timing. Here goes nothing.

I turn towards Kitt and force out a laugh. โ€œDonโ€™t you ever just need a break from the chaos of the castle?โ€ Even as I say it, I already know the answer. He practically admitted to feeling trapped in the palace, in his position, when we were stuffed in the saferoom together. And yet, here I am, using that information he trusted me with against him.

He looks at me, eyes seeming to search mine with a certain sadness. โ€œYou have no idea.โ€

I throw my arms out, exasperated. โ€œSo, why donโ€™t you? You could visit Loot for a day. Granted, thereโ€™s just as much chaos there as in the castle, but…itโ€™s a different kind of chaos. You blend in. Let the chaos wash over you until itโ€™s a familiar feeling. Until you become a part of it, swallowed in it.โ€

Come on. Say yes.

Kittโ€™s staring at me like he canโ€™t believe what he is seeing. A slow smile is spreading across his lips, green eyes sweeping over my face as though heโ€™s worried Iโ€™ll stop looking at him again.

โ€œWhat?โ€ I ask, slightly concerned.

He blinks and shakes his head slightly, trying to clear it. โ€œNothing. Itโ€™s just…the way you talk about Loot.โ€ He looks away, muttering something that sounded like, โ€œHell, just the way you talk.โ€

I donโ€™t dwell on it before slowly asking, โ€œSo…is that a yes?โ€

His smile slips. โ€œI wish I could see Loot. Truly. I havenโ€™t been since I was a boy. Since before I was…โ€

โ€œTrapped here?โ€ I supply softly.

I hadnโ€™t realized weโ€™d stopped walking until Kitt tugs me from the middle of the hallway, sparing us from being trampled by bustling servants. โ€œExactly,โ€ he says with a small smile. โ€œYouโ€™re one of the few people who understands that.โ€

I nod slowly, smiling slightly. โ€œKitt, Iโ€™m about to tell you off, okay?โ€ He laughs at that. โ€œI would expect nothing less from you. Go on.โ€

โ€œAs the future king,โ€ I sigh, โ€œyou should see your people. See how they live in the slums. See how theyย survive.โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ he says hollowly. โ€œSo whatโ€™s stopping you?โ€

He huffs out a humorless laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as he simply states, โ€œThe current king. I never leave the castle unless itโ€™s absolutely necessary and seeing my people is not, according to him. Iโ€™m the heir to the throne and he wonโ€™t risk me leaving the palace, let alone helping like I tried to when the Resistance attacked the ball.โ€

I try not to stiffen at his ignorance, at the idea that the Resistanceย attackedย the ball. But itโ€™s best to not tell the prince off about matters I should know nothing about.

โ€œAnd do you agree with him?โ€ I ask carefully. โ€œI understand him. And I respect himโ€”โ€

โ€œAnd you will never stop trying to prove yourself to him, so youโ€™ll do as he says. I know.โ€ Thereโ€™s a bitter bite in my voice that I quickly try to conceal. โ€œThen just one night, Kitt. Go seeย yourย people. See what it was like for me in the slums. Donโ€™t trap yourself here.โ€

Kitt leans his head back against the wall and laughs. โ€œI canโ€™t exactly leave, Paedyn. There are guards everywhere and I donโ€™t have the clearing to just walk right out.โ€

And thatโ€™s exactly what I hoped he would say.

Still, I give him a flat look. โ€œBut youโ€™re the prince.โ€

โ€œYes, well, sometimes Iโ€™m only a prince in title, not in privilege. I canโ€™t just walk out the front door.โ€

โ€œSo, walk out a different door.โ€ I take a step closer, throwing my hands up only to let them slap against my sides, feigning nonchalance. โ€œYou canโ€™t tell me there isnโ€™t some way out of here that no one knows about? Some sort of door that isnโ€™t guarded?โ€ I sound totally casual, curious even.

Come on. Trust me. Tell me.

If I can get him talking about the tunnels, get him to take me through them, thereโ€™s a chance of him telling me about the one I need to find. I would act like Iโ€™m curious, ask questions about the other tunnels in order to learn about one in particular. Itโ€™s not my most solid plan, but itโ€™s a start.

He looks me over in a way that vaguely reminds me of Kai. I push thoughts of the other brother away, instead choosing to focus on the one in front of me. The one who is easy to be around, easy to talk toโ€”

Easy to trick, betray, useโ€”

โ€œOh, yes. There are plenty of ways for me to get out of the castle unseen,โ€ Kitt says with a smile, cutting through my screaming thoughts.

My heart is pounding, my voice quiet when I say, โ€œIโ€™ll take you. One night. Youโ€™ll see Loot and your people. What theyโ€™re like, what their lives are like…โ€ Heโ€™s staring at me so intently that I stop for a moment, swallowed by those emerald eyes I didnโ€™t dare look into a few days ago. โ€œA king who doesnโ€™t know his people cannot be a kingย forย his people.โ€

Despite the truth of my words, they taste bitter in my mouth for the reason behind me voicing them.

All it takes is one seed of doubt, one grain of uncertainty to fester and grow.

And I just planted it.

I give him a reassuring smile as though Iโ€™m not lying through my teeth.

Trust me.

โ€œMaybe,โ€ he says, studying me. I fight the urge to try and convince him further, careful not to sound desperate or draw suspicion. โ€œIโ€™ll think on your offer.โ€

โ€œKitt.โ€

The hair on the back of my neck stands up at the sound of that voice. That cold, calloused voice. I slowly turn on my heel to see the king at the end of the hallway, making his way to us. I give him the smallest curtsy, biting my tongue as I offer a small smile.

โ€œKitt, I need you in the study to finish our discussion with the advisers.โ€ His eyes sweep over me, finally deeming me worthy to look at. They are the same bright green as Kittโ€™s, and yet, they couldnโ€™t be more different, more…cold. I nearly shiver, reminded of why I could barely meet his sonโ€™s eyes. The kingโ€™s gaze flicks back up to Kitt before saying, โ€œNow.โ€

Though he doesnโ€™t sound too thrilled, Kitt replies with a curt, โ€œOf course, Father.โ€ He steps beside the king, ready to walk with him back to the study.

โ€œGo ahead, Son. Iโ€™ll meet you there.โ€ His stern voice leaves no room for argument, and Kitt nods slowly in response before throwing me a small smile and turning on his heel.

I can barely stand to look at him, but I force my eyes to meet those of my fatherโ€™s murderer. Heโ€™s looking at me like Iโ€™m the scum he scraped from the bottom of his shiny shoes. I canโ€™t stand it, but I force myself to be still

rather than squirm under his scrutiny. So I offer him a bright smile all while wondering if it looks like Iโ€™m baring my teeth. โ€œYour Majesty.โ€ I say in farewell before moving to go around him, to escape this man and my raging, revengeful thoughts.

His shoes click against the stone floor as he steps in front of my path.

I halt, looking up at his large frame. Heโ€™s in great health for his age, making it easy to see where his sons get their strong build and handsome features from. The similarities between Kitt and his father are astounding, but itโ€™s the kingโ€™s Brawny ability Iโ€™m focused on, reminding me of the fact that he could snap my neck with ease.

โ€œMiss Gray, good to see you made it out of the first Trial mostly unscathed.โ€ He doesnโ€™t sound happy about my well-being in the slightest. โ€œWell, thanks to my son, that is.โ€

I can only imagine the kingโ€™s reaction upon seeing the footage of Kai with me in the Trial. I know he hated it. Hated that his son helped meโ€”a no one, a Mundane, a Slummer.

An Ordinary.

โ€œYes, I am grateful I had Kai as my partner,โ€ I say coolly, unsure of where this conversation is heading.

โ€œHmm.โ€ The king looks down at me, eyes narrowing.

Before he can say anything else, I add, โ€œAnd I am very much looking forward to the next Trial. And the one after that.โ€

Lies.

I just wanted to see the look on his face when I sounded so confident about surviving that long. I follow up my statement with a fake smile, ready to leave him and this conversation behind when he says, โ€œLet me be frank, Paedyn. You are not winning this.โ€

I stiffen. โ€œIโ€™m sorry?โ€

โ€œI know that is what you want. To win the Purging Trials and have a better life for you and your seamstress friend.โ€ He laughs, bitter and biting. โ€œThat reminds me. I should congratulate you for the little stunt you pulled with your dress at the ball. You certainly got what you wanted. Reminding the people of theirย Silver Savior.โ€

I look away, unable to stare at him any longer as he continues with a wave of his hand. โ€œTell me, have you seen the polls?โ€

I had. A day after the showing of the first Trial, the contestants scores and votes from the people were combined and tallied up. The rankings of

the remaining seven opponents were everywhere, displayed on banners and fliers throughout the city. Kai was at the top, followed by Ace with Andy close behind in third. That left Blair and I tied for fourth with Braxton and Jax tied in last.

It seems that the kingdom of Ilya doesnโ€™t quite know what to do with me. Those from the slums are likely voting for theirย Silver Savior, while those outside of it are likely rooting against me, hoping to watch the Slummer die an entertaining death. And if Iโ€™m receiving any votes from those outsides of the slums itโ€™s no doubt because they find me amusing.

โ€œYes. I have seen the polls,โ€ I say through my teeth.

โ€œGood. I doubt your ranking will get any higher, so what Iโ€™m most concerned about is your involvement with my sons. They donโ€™t need you dragging them down, or worse,ย influencingย them.โ€ I stare at the kingโ€™s chest, watching as he fixes the cuffs of his jacket. โ€œI doubt I need to remind you of your place, so stay out of their way and we wonโ€™t have any problems. Understood?โ€

The dagger tucked into my boot has never tempted me more, tormenting me with the thought of shoving its blade through his chest like he did to my father. But he didnโ€™t just kill my only parent that day, he killed a piece of me in the process.

And I have never hated someone so wholeheartedly because of it.

My fists are clenched tightly at my sides, fingernails biting into my palms. But I school my face into a submissive, sweet expression when I say, โ€œUnderstood, Your Majesty.โ€

If I didnโ€™t want to win before, I certainly do now.

โ€œGood,โ€ he says curtly. โ€œThen we should thank the Plague that you are alive and well, isnโ€™t that right?โ€

There is a certain challenge ringing in his tone, flashing in his eyes. I mirror his smile, even as I swallow my pride.

Iโ€™ve never said the filthy phrase, and I swore I never would. And yet, here I am, opening my mouth to let the words fall out as though they arenโ€™t foreign on my tongue. As though they arenโ€™t leaving a foul taste in my mouth.

โ€œYes, thank the Plague indeed.โ€

 

 

โ€œHold still or Iโ€™m going to poke your eye out.โ€

I grumble while Ellie only grins. Sheโ€™s still swiping a wand across my lashes despite coming dangerously close to accidentally blinding me on several occasions. She likes to blame it on my squirming, and I like to blame it on her unsteady hands.

โ€œAlright, time to suck it in!โ€ Adena is bubbling over with excitement behind me, her hands gripping the laces of my dress. She allows me one final breath before pulling the ties tight, squeezing the air out of my squished ribcage. She works the laces, slowly pulling the bodice tighter to cinch the open back together.

Gripping the chair in front of me, I gasp, โ€œOne more pull, A, and I think a rib will puncture my lung.โ€

I doubt Adena can even hear me over her squeals of delight. โ€œPae, itโ€™s perfect! You know, I was a bit worried about the hem but look at it! It falls just right and, oh, the cut is incredible…โ€ She pauses, huffing out a sigh. โ€œUgh, forget it. Just look at you!โ€

Her hands grip my arms as she spins me towards the mirror, her glowing face peeking over my shoulder. I blink, and the girl in the mirror does the same.

The silver dress I wore to the first ball was stunning, seductive, where this one is simply beautiful, breathtaking. Deep red fabric envelopes me, pooling to the floor. Itโ€™s shimmery and sleeveless, but rather than the bodice being rounded at the top, the edges end in elegantly pointed corners. Itโ€™s tight, cinching in my waist with the laces at the back, now tied into a neat bow and exposing skin between the fabric holding the dress together. The skirt is full, revealing the wide slit up my right leg where my fatherโ€™s dagger is displayed for all to behold and baffle at.

โ€œAdena, I love it…โ€ I trail off while my eyes trail over the fabric hugging my body. Then my gaze meets the excited hazel one in the mirror, and I turn to face my best friend. โ€œI love you, Adena.โ€

She glows, beaming at me brightly. โ€œAnd I love you, Pae.โ€ Her smile turns sly. โ€œAndย everyoneย is going to love you in this dress. Especially a certain prince…โ€

Itโ€™s not difficult to figure out that sheโ€™s referring to Kai. I shoot her a look, not particularly wanting to talk about this topic. โ€œAdena…โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€ she asks far too innocently. โ€œIn case youโ€™ve forgotten, I watched the recap of the Trials. I saw what happened between you two.โ€

She quirks an eyebrow. โ€œAnd Iโ€™ve been waiting for you to come and talk to me about it.โ€

โ€œWell, thereโ€™s nothing to say.โ€ She gives me a flat look, forcing me to add, โ€œAlright, I donโ€™t knowย whatย to say. Heโ€™s confusing and captivating and Iโ€™m failing miserably at keeping my distance.โ€

โ€œRight,โ€ she says quietly. โ€œBecause youโ€™re…you.โ€ โ€œAnd heโ€™s…him,โ€ I sigh.

Because Iโ€™m and Ordinary, and heโ€™s the future Enforcer.

Adena huffs dramatically. โ€œWell, I donโ€™t blame you for not being able to stay away. I mean, look at him.โ€

I roll my eyes, laughing despite myself. In an attempt to avoid this current conversation, I marvel in the mirror at what the girls have turned me in to. My hair is pulled into a complicated braid down my back combined with dark makeup that frames my eyes in shadow and my lips in shiny gloss.

Miracle workers. Thatโ€™s what they are.

Weโ€™re talking and laughing when a sharp knock sounds at the door.

Lenny whistles when he sees me. โ€œLook at that. You actually look like a princess, Princess.โ€

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