โMy timer beeps at me. Iโd set it for a two-hour countdown. It just reached zero. I blink a couple of times. Iโmย ๏ฌoating in a fetal position in the control room. I didnโt even make it to the dormitory.โ
I am not rested at all. Every pore of my being yells at me to go back to sleep, but I told Rocky Iโd be back in two hours and I wouldnโt want him to think humans are untrustworthy.
I meanโฆweโre pretty untrustworthy, but I donโt want him to know that.
I trudge (can you trudge in zero g? I say yes) through the airlock. Rocky is there waiting for me in the tunnel. Heโs been busy in my absence. Thereโs all sorts of stu๏ฌย in there now.
The Eridian clock is still ticking awayโnow mounted to one of the lattice poles. But more interesting to me is the box thatโs been added to the dividing wall. Itโs a 1-foot cube and it juts out into my half of the tunnel. Itโs made of the same transparent xenonite that the rest of the wall is made of.
On Rockyโs side, the box has aย ๏ฌat panel door with an opaque xenonite border. Also, thereโs a square hole with a perfectlyย ๏ฌtted square pipe leading away.
There are someโฆcontrols?โฆon the pipe near the box. Buttons, maybe? A wire coming from the control box snakes along the pipe, disappearing into the hull where the pipe does.
Meanwhile, on my side of the cube is a crank, roughly the same shape as my own airlock doorโs crank. And thatโs attached to a square panel like the one on Rockyโs side andโ
โItโs an airlock!โย I said.ย โYou made an airlock in our airlock tunnel!โ
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Rocky and I can both access it. He can control the air in that little chamber by means of the mystery pipe, which presumably leads back to some pumps or something in theย Blip-A. And those buttons or whatever are the controls. Just like that, we have a way to transfer stu๏ฌย back and forth.
I do jazz hands. He does them back.
Hmm. Again with the square,ย ๏ฌat panels. Who makes a square airlock? Especially one designed to handle Eridian atmospheric pressure. Even the pipe that runs the mini-airlock is square. I know they can make round xenoniteโthe cylinders he sent me when weย ๏ฌrst met were round. This tunnel is round.
Maybe Iโm overthinking this. Xenonite is so strong you donโt have to carefully shape it into pressure vessels. Flat panels are probably easier to make.
This is awesome. I hold up aย ๏ฌngerโhe returns the gesture. Iย ๏ฌy down to the lab and grab a tape measure. He showed me a unit of time, so Iโll show him a unit of length. The tape measure is metric, thank God. Itโs going to be confusing enough using base-6 Eridian seconds. The last thing I want to throw in there is imperial unitsโeven if they are natural to me.
Back in the tunnel, I hold up the tape measure. I pull it out a bit, then release it to let it retract. I repeat the process a few times. He does jazz hands. I point to theย โsquarelockโย (well, what else should I call it?) and he does jazz hands again.
I hope that means there isnโt 29 atmospheres of ammonia in there at the moment. I guess weโll seeโฆ.
I turn the crank and open my door. It swings outward toward me easily.
Nothing explodes. In fact, I donโt even smell ammonia. And it wasnโt a vacuum in there either. I wouldnโt have been able to pull the door open at all if it had been. Rocky set that up to be exactly my atmosphere. Considerate of him.
I put the tape measure in the approximate center of the box and let itย ๏ฌoat there. I close the door and turn the crank.
Rocky presses a button on the controls and I hear a mu๏ฌedย fwumpย followed by a steady hiss. A foggy gas rushes in from the pipe. Ammonia,
presumably. The tape measure bounces insideโpushed around like a leaf in the wind. Soon, the hiss dulls to a trickle.
And then I realize my mistake.
The tape measure is one of those solid, construction-site kinds that are made of metal with tool-grade rubber grip pads. Thing is, Eridians like it hot. How hot? I canโt say for sure, but I now know itโs hotter than the melting point of the rubber on the tape measure.
The blob of liquid rubber undulates on the tape measure, sticking to the tool via surface tension. Rocky opens his door and carefully grabs my faulty present by the metal. At least thatโs still solid. I think itโs made of aluminum. Itโs nice to know Eridian air isnโt hot enough to melt that too.
As Rocky pulls the tape measure toward him, the rubber blob separates from it andย ๏ฌoats o๏ฌย in his side of the tube.
He pokes the rubber blob and it sticks to his claw. He shakes it o๏ฌย without much trouble. Obviously the temperature doesnโt bother him. I guess itโs no di๏ฌerent from a human shaking water o๏ฌย his hand.
In my atmosphere, rubber that hot would burn. Thereโd be all these nasty, noxious gases coming o๏ฌย of it too. But thereโs no oxygen on Rockyโs side of the wall. So the rubber just kind ofโฆstays a liquid. Itย ๏ฌoats o๏ฌย to the tunnel wall and sticks there.
I shrug at him. Maybe heโll know that meansย โIโm sorry.โ
He sort of shrugs back. But he does it with allย ๏ฌve shoulders. Looks weird and I donโt know if he caught my meaning.
He pulls the tape out a bit, then lets it snap back. Heโs clearly surprised, even though he must have known it was coming. He releases it entirely and lets it spin in front of him. He grabs it and does it again. Then again.
And again.
โYeah, itโs fun,โย I say.ย โBut look at the markings. Those are centimeters.
CEN-TI-ME-TERS.โ
The next time he pulls the tape out, I point to the tape.ย โLook!โ
He just keeps pulling it out and back again. I donโt see any indication that he cares about whatโs written there.
โUgh!โย I hold up aย ๏ฌnger. I go back to the lab and get another tape measure. Itโs a well-stocked lab and no space mission would be complete without redundancy. I come back to the tunnel.
Rocky is still playing with the tape measure. Now heโs really having a ball. He pulls the tape out as far as he can, which is about a meter, then releases both the tape and the tape measure at the same time. The resulting recoil and snap-back makes the tape measure spin wildly in front of him.
โโฉโชโซโช!!!โย he says. Iโm pretty sure that was a squeal of glee.ย โLook. Look,โย I say.ย โRocky. Rocky! Yo!โ
Heย ๏ฌnally stops playing with the unintentional toy.
I pull some tape out on my tape measure, then point to the markings.ย โLook! Here! See these?โ
He pulls his own out to approximately the same distance. I can see the markings on his are still thereโthey didnโt get baked o๏ฌย in the blistering Eridian heat or anything. What is the problem?
I point at the 1-centimeter line.ย โLook. One centimeter. This line. Here.โย I tap the line repeatedly.
He holds the tape out with two hands and taps it with a third. He matches my tempo, but heโs nowhere near the 1-centimeter mark.
โHere!โย I tap the mark harder.ย โAre you blind?!โย I pause.
โWait. Are you blind?โ
Rocky taps the tape some more.
Iโve always assumed he had eyes somewhere and I didnโt recognize them.
But what if he doesnโt have eyes at all?
The airlock of theย Blip-Aย was dark, and Rocky didnโt have any problem with it. So Iย ๏ฌgured he saw in frequencies of light I canโt see. But the tape measure has white tape with black markings on it.ย Anyย vision inย anyย spectrum should be able to discern black on white. Black is the absence of light and white is all frequencies equally re๏ฌected.
Waitโthis doesnโt make sense. He knows what Iโm doing. He mimics my gestures. If he doesnโt have vision, how can he read my clock? How can he readย his ownย clock?
Hmmโฆhis clock has thick numbers. Like an eighth of an inch. And, thinking back, he actually did have some trouble with my clock. He needed me to tape it to the divider wall. When itย ๏ฌoated an inch away he got upset. Just being close to the divider wasnโt enough. The clock had to beย touchingย it.
โSound?โย I say.ย โDo youย โseeโย with sound?โ
It would make sense. Humans use electromagnetic waves to understand our three-dimensional environment. So why couldnโt a di๏ฌerent species use sound waves? Same principleโand we even have it on Earth. Bats and dolphins use echolocation toย โseeโย with sound. Maybe Eridians have that ability, but on steroids. Unlike bats and dolphins, Eridians haveย passiveย sonar. They use ambient sound waves to resolve their environment instead of making a speci๏ฌc noise to track prey.
Just a theory. But itย ๏ฌts the data.
Thatโs why his clock numbers are thick. Because his sonar canโt perceive things that are too thin. My clock was a challenge to him. He canโtย โseeโย the ink, but the hands are solid objects. So he knew about them. But the whole thing is encased in plasticโฆ.
I slapped my forehead.ย โThatโs why you needed the clock pressed against the wall. You needed the sound waves bouncing around in it to get to you more easily. And the tape measure I just handed you is useless. You canโt see the ink at all!โ
He plays with the tape measure some more.
I hold up aย ๏ฌnger. Heโs more focused on the tape measure toy, but he absently returns the gesture with one of his spare hands.
Iย ๏ฌy back into the ship, through the control room, and into the lab. I grab a screwdriver and head farther down to the dormitory. I detach a storage panel from theย ๏ฌoor. Simple aluminum sheet stock. Maybe one-sixteenth of an inch thick, with the edges rounded so we donโt cut ourselves. Strong, durable, and light. Perfect for space travel. Iย ๏ฌy back to the tunnel.
Rocky has wrapped one end of the tape around one of his tunnelโs grab- handles and tied it in a somewhat crude knot. He hangs on to the dispenser with one hand and uses the other four to climb backward along the bars.
โHey,โย I say. I hold up my hand.ย โHey!โ
He stops playing with the tape measure for a moment.ย โโฉโชโฉ?โ
I hold up twoย ๏ฌngers. Rocky holds up twoย ๏ฌngers.
โYeah. Okay. Weโre in mimic mode again.โย I hold up oneย ๏ฌnger, then switch to two, then back to one, and thenย ๏ฌnally three.
Rocky repeats the sequence, just as I hoped he would.
Now I put the aluminum panel between my hand and Rocky. Behind the panel, I hold up twoย ๏ฌngers, then one, then three, thenย ๏ฌve.
Rocky holds up twoย ๏ฌngers, then one, then all three. He brings in a second hand to hold up two moreย ๏ฌngers for a total ofย ๏ฌve.
โWow!โย I say.
One-sixteenth-inch aluminum will stop pretty much all light. Some absurdly high frequencies can get through, but those frequencies would also pass right through me. So he wouldnโt see my hands. But sound travels through metals justย ๏ฌne.
Thatโs proof. Heโs not using light to perceive whatโs going on. It has to be sound. To Rocky, that metal plate is like a glass window. Maybe it muddles the image a little, but not much. Heck, he probably knows what theย Hail Maryโs control room looks like. Why not? The hull is just more aluminum.
How did he see me out in space? No air in space. So no sound.
Wait. No. Thatโs a dumb question. Heโs not a caveman wandering around in space. Heโs an advanced interstellar traveler. He has technology. He probably has cameras and radar and stu๏ฌย that translate data into something he can understand. No di๏ฌerent from my Petrovascope. I canโt see IR light, but it can and then it shows it to me on a monitor with light frequencies I can see.
Theย Blip-Aย control room probably has awesome-looking Braille-like readouts. Well, Iโm sure itโs way more advanced than that.
โWowโฆโย I stare at him.ย โHumans spent thousands of years looking up at the stars and wondering what was out there. You guys never saw stars at all but you still worked space travel. What an amazing people you Eridians must be. Scienti๏ฌc geniuses.โ
The knot in the tape comes loose, recoils wildly, and smacks Rockyโs hand. He shakes the a๏ฌected hand in pain for a moment, then continues messing with the tape measure.
โYeah. Youโre de๏ฌnitely a scientist.โ
โ
โAll rise,โย said the baili๏ฌ,ย โthe United States District Court for the Western District of Washington is now in session. The Honorable Justice Meredith Spencer presiding.โ
The entire courtroom stood as the judge took her seat.
โBe seated,โย the baili๏ฌย said. He handed the justice a folder.ย โYour Honor, todayโs case isย Intellectual Property Alliance v. Project Hail Mary.โ
The judge nodded.ย โPlainti๏ฌ, are you ready for trial?โ
The plainti๏ฌโs table was crowded with well-dressed men and women. The eldest of them, a man in his sixties, stood to answer.ย โWe are, Your Honor.โ
โDefense, are you ready for trial?โ
Stratt sat alone at the defense table, typing away on her tablet. The justice cleared her throat.ย โDefense?โ
Strattย ๏ฌnished typing and stood.ย โIโm ready.โ
Justice Spencer gestured to Strattโs table.ย โCounselor, where is the rest of your team?โ
โJust me,โย she said.ย โAnd Iโm not a counselorโIโm the defendant.โ
โMs. Stratt.โย Spencer took o๏ฌย her glasses and glared.ย โThe defendant in this case is a rather famous intergovernmental consortium of scientists.โ
โLed by me,โย said Stratt.ย โI move to dismiss.โ
โYou canโt make motions yet, Ms. Stratt,โย said Spencer.ย โJust tell me if youโre ready to proceed.โ
โIโm ready,โ
โAll right. Plainti๏ฌ, you may begin your opening statement.โ
The man stood.ย โMay it please the court and ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name is Theodore Canton, counsel for the Intellectual Property Alliance in this action.
โDuring this trial, we will show that Project Hail Mary has overstepped its authority in the matter of digital data acquisition and licensing. They have, in their possession, a gigantic solid-state-drive array upon which they have
copied literallyย every single pieceย of software that has ever been copyrighted, as well asย every single book and literary workย that has ever been available in any digital format. All of this was done without payment or licensing to the proper copyright holders or intellectual property owners. Furthermore, many of their technological designs violate patents held byโโ
โYour Honor,โย Stratt interrupted.ย โCan I make motions now?โ โTechnically,โย said the justice,ย โbut itโs irregulโโ
โI move to dismiss.โ
โYour Honor!โย Canton protested.
โOn what grounds, Ms. Stratt?โย said the justice.
โBecause I donโt have time for this bullshit,โย she said.ย โWe are building a ship to literally save our species. And we have very little time to get it done. It will have three astronautsโjust threeโto do experiments we canโt even conceive of now. We need them to be prepared for any possible line of study they deem necessary. So we are giving them everything. The collected knowledge of humankind, along with all software. Some of it is stupid. They probably wonโt need Minesweeper for Windows 3.1, and they probably donโt need an unabridged Sanskrit-to-English dictionary, but theyโre going to have them.โ
Canton shook his head.ย โYour Honor, my clients donโt dispute the noble nature of the Hail Mary Project. The complaint is in the illegal use of copyrighted material and patented mechanisms.โ
Stratt shook her head.ย โIt would take a ridiculous amount of time and energy to work out licensing agreements with every company. So weโre not doing it.โ
โI assure you, Ms. Stratt, you will comply with the law,โย said the justice.ย โOnly when I want to.โย Stratt held up a sheet of paper.ย โAccording to this
international treaty, I am personally immune from prosecution for any crime
anywhere on Earth. The United States Senate rati๏ฌed that treaty two months ago.โ
She held up a second piece of paper.ย โAnd to streamline situations like this, I also have a preemptive pardon from the president of the United States for any and all crimes I am accused of within U.S. jurisdictions.โ
The baili๏ฌย took the papers and handed them to the justice.
โThisโฆโย said the justice,ย โthis is exactly what you say it is.โ
โIโm only here as a courtesy,โย said Stratt.ย โI didnโt have to come at all. But since the software industry, patent trolls, and everyone else related to intellectual property banded together in one lawsuit, Iย ๏ฌgured it would be fastest to nip this in the bud all at once.โ
She grabbed her satchel and put the tablet inside.ย โIโll be on my way.โ โHold on, Ms. Stratt,โย said Justice Spencer.ย โThis is still a court of law,
and you will remain for the duration of these proceedings!โ
โNo, I wonโt,โย said Stratt.
The baili๏ฌย walked forward.ย โMaโam. Iโll have to restrain you if you donโt comply.โ
โYou and what army?โย Stratt asked.
Five armed men in military fatigues entered the courtroom and took up station around her.ย โBecause I have the U.S. Army,โย she said.ย โAnd thatโs a damnย ๏ฌne army.โ
โ
I browse through my available software while munching on a peanut-butter tortilla. I know that doesnโt sound tasty, but it is.
Iโve learned how to grip the lab chair with my legs so I donโtย ๏ฌoat o๏ฌย as I use the laptop. Turns out I have a bunch of laptops. At least six that Iโve found in the storage area so far. And theyโre all connected to a shipwide Wi- Fi network. Handy.
If memory serves, I should have pretty much all the software lurking around somewhere on the ship. The trick isย ๏ฌnding the one I need. I wouldnโt even know what itโs called. Fortunately, one of the books in the digital library is a list of software applications. So that helped.
Ultimately Iย ๏ฌnd something that will work:ย โTympanum Labs Waveform Analyzer.โย There are all sorts of waveform-analysis software packages in my library. This one just has the highest reviews according to a 2017 computer magazine that reviewed waveform analyzers.
I install the software on one of the laptops. Itโs pretty simple to use and has a plethora of features. But the one Iโm most interested in is the Fourier
transform. Itโs the most basic tool in sound-wave analysis and arguably the most important. Thereโs a lot of complicated math on how to make it happen, but the end result is this: if you run a sound wave through a Fourier transform, it will give you a list of the individual notes being played at the same time. So if I played a C-major chord and let this app listen to it, the app would tell me thereโs a C, an E, and a G. Itโs incredibly useful.
No more pantomime. Itโs time to learn Eridianese. Yes, I just made up that word. No, I donโt feel bad about it. Iโm doing a lot of things for theย ๏ฌrst time in human history out here and thereโs a lot of stu๏ฌย that needs naming. Just be glad I donโt name stu๏ฌย after myself.
I launch Microsoft Excel on another laptop and tape the two laptops together back to back. Yes, I could just run both applications on one laptop, but I donโt want to switch back and forth.
Iย ๏ฌy up through the ship and back into the tunnel. Rocky isnโt there. Hmph.
Rocky canโt just spend all day waiting around for me, but why donโt they have someone in the tunnel at all times? If my crewmates were still around, we would de๏ฌnitely rotate a watch or something. Heck, Ilyukhina would probably be camped out here nonstop and only leave when she had to sleep.
What if theyย areย having di๏ฌerent people in the tunnel? How do I know Rocky is just one person? I donโt know how to tell Eridians apart. Maybe Iโve been talking to six di๏ฌerent people. Thatโs an unsettling thought.
Noโฆthatโs not it. Iโm pretty sure Rocky is just Rocky. The ridges on his carapace and rocky protrusions on his hands are unique. I remember thereโs an irregular craggy bit sticking up out of one of hisย ๏ฌngersโฆyeah. Itโs the same guy.
If you looked at a rock for several hours, and someone replaced it with a very similar, but slightly di๏ฌerent rock, you would know.
Okay, so where is the rest of the crew? Iโm alone because my crewmates didnโt make it. But Eridians have better technology, space-wise. Bigger ship, nigh-indestructible hull material. There has to be a crew in there.
Ah! I bet Rockyโs the captain! He puts himself at risk by talking to the scary alien. Everyone else stays back on the ship. Thatโs what Captain Kirk would do. So why not Captain Rocky?
Anyway, I have cool stu๏ฌย I want to do and Iโm impatient.ย โYo! Rocky!โย I yell.ย โCome here!โ
I listen for any sounds of movement.ย โCome on, man! Your entire ranged sensory input is soundโI bet you can hear a pin drop a mile away! You know Iโm calling you! Move yourโฆwhatever serves as your butt! I want to talk!โ
I wait and wait, but no Rocky.
My guess is Iโm a pretty high priority to him. So whatever heโs doing must be really important. After all, heโs got a ship to deal with. He probably needs to eat and sleep. Well, he has to eat, anywayโall biological organisms need to get energy somehow. I donโt know if Eridians sleep.
Come to think of itโฆsleep might not be such a bad idea. Out of the past forty-eight hours Iโve had a two-hour nap and nothing else. Rockyโs clock is still there, wedged between a grab bar and the divider wall. Itโs ticking away as normal. Itโs interesting that his clock only hasย ๏ฌve digits. By my math, itโll roll over back toย โโโโโย everyย ๏ฌve hours or so. Maybe thatโs the length of an Eridian day?
Speculate later. Sleep is the priority. I set up a spreadsheet on my Excel laptop to convert from Rocky time to mine and vice versa. I want to sleep for eight hours. I enter the current time on Rockyโs clock, which is Iโย IVฮป, and have the spreadsheet tell me what that clock will say eight hours from now. The answer: Iฮป+VVฮป.
I hurry back to the lab to pick up a bunch of Popsicle sticks and tape.
Rocky canโt see ink, so I have to improvise.
I tape the sticks to the divider wall to let Rocky know when Iโll return: Iฮป+VVฮป. Fortunately, the symbols are mostly made of straight lines, so my little craft project should be good enough for him to read.
Interestingly, my return time has six digits. One more digit than Rockyโs clock shows. But Iโm sure heโllย ๏ฌgure it out. If Rocky saidย โIโll be back at thirty-seven oโclock,โย Iโd understand what he meant.
Before I hit the hay, I harvest a mini-camera from the labโs vacuum chamber. Itโs just a small wireless camera that talks to a portable LCD clipped to the chamber. I tape the camera up in the tunnel, pointed at the divider wall. I bring the readout screen with me to my bunk.
There. Now I have a baby-monitor setup in the tunnel. Thereโs no audioโย the camera is for watching experiments, not chatting with people. But itโs better than nothing.
I tuck the bunkโs sheets and blankets in tight all around the oval mattress pad. I shimmy in between the tight bedding. This way I wonโt justย ๏ฌoat around while I sleep.
My grand plans for communicating with Rocky will have to wait. Iโm a little frustrated, but not for long. I conk out almost immediately.