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Chapter no 39

Allegiant (Divergent Book, 3)

MATTHEW CLASPS HISย hands behind his back.

โ€œNo, no, the serum doesn’t erase all of a person’s knowledge,โ€ he says. โ€œDo you think we would design a serum that makes people forget how to speak or walk?โ€ He shakes his head. โ€œIt targets explicit memories, like your name, where you grew up, your first teacher’s name, and leaves implicit memoriesโ€”like how to speak or tie your shoes or ride a bicycleโ€”untouched.โ€

โ€œInteresting,โ€ Cara says. โ€œThat actually works?โ€

Tobias and I exchange a look. There’s nothing like a conversation between an Erudite and someone who may as well be an Erudite. Cara and Matthew are standing too close together, and the longer they talk, the more hand gestures they make.

โ€œInevitably, some important memories will be lost,โ€ Matthew says. โ€œBut if we have a record of people’s scientific discoveries or histories, they can relearn them in the hazy period after their memories are erased. People are very pliable then.โ€

I lean against the wall.

โ€œWait,โ€ I say. โ€œIf the Bureau is going to load all of those planes with the memory serum virus to reset the experiments, will there be any serum left to use against the compound?โ€

โ€œWe’ll have to get it first,โ€ Matthew says. โ€œIn less than forty-eight hours.โ€

Cara doesn’t appear to hear what I said. โ€œAfter you erase their memories, won’t you have to program them with new memories? How does that work?โ€

โ€œWe just have to reteach them. As I said, people tend to be disoriented for a few days after being reset, which means they’ll be easier to control.โ€ Matthew sits, and spins in his chair once. โ€œWe can just give them a new history class. One that teaches facts rather than propaganda.โ€

โ€œWe could use the fringe’s slide show to supplement a basic history lesson,โ€ I say. โ€œThey have photographs of a war caused by GPs.โ€

โ€œGreat.โ€ Matthew nods. โ€œBig problem, though. The memory serum virus is in the Weapons Lab. The one Nita just triedโ€”andย failedโ€”to break into.โ€

โ€œChristina and I were supposed to talk to Reggie,โ€ Tobias says, โ€œbut I think, given this new plan, we should talk to Nita instead.โ€

โ€œI think you’re right,โ€ I say. โ€œLet’s go find out where she went wrong.โ€

When I first arrived here, I felt like the compound was huge and unknowable. Now I don’t even have to consult the signs to remember how to get to the hospital, and neither does Tobias, who keeps stride with me on the way. It’s strange how time can make a place shrink, make its strangeness ordinary.

We don’t say anything to each other, though I can feel a conversation brewing between us. Finally I decide to ask.

โ€œWhat’s wrong?โ€ I say. โ€œYou hardly said anything during the meeting.โ€

โ€œI just . . .โ€ He shakes his head. โ€œI’m not sure this is the right thing to do. They want to erase our friends’ memories, so we decide to erase theirs?โ€

I turn to him and touch his shoulders lightly. โ€œTobias, we have forty- eight hours to stop them. If you can think of any other idea, anything else that could save our city, I’m open to it.โ€

โ€œI can’t.โ€ His dark blue eyes look defeated, sad. โ€œBut we’re acting out of desperation to save something that’s important to usโ€”just like the Bureau is. What’s the difference?โ€

โ€œThe difference is what’s right,โ€ I say firmly. โ€œThe people in the city, as a whole, are innocent. The people in the Bureau, who supplied Jeanine with the attack simulation, are not innocent.โ€

His mouth puckers, and I can tell he doesn’t completely buy it.

I sigh. โ€œIt’s not a perfect situation. But when you have to choose between two bad options, you pick the one that saves the people you love and believe in most. You just do. Okay?โ€

He reaches for my hand, his hand warm and strong. โ€œOkay.โ€

โ€œTris!โ€ Christina pushes through the swinging doors to the hospital and jogs toward us. Peter is on her heels, his dark hair combed smoothly

to the side.

At first I think she’s excited, and I feel a swell of hopeโ€”what if Uriah is awake?

But the closer she gets, the more obvious it is that she isn’t excited.

She’s frantic. Peter lingers behind her, his arms crossed.

โ€œI just spoke to one of the doctors,โ€ she says, breathless. โ€œThe doctor says Uriah’s not going to wake up. Something about . . . no brain waves.โ€

A weight settles on my shoulders. I knew, of course, that Uriah might never wake up. But the hope that kept the grief at bay is dwindling, slipping away with each word she speaks.

โ€œThey were going to take him off life support right away, but I pleaded with them.โ€ She wipes one of her eyes fiercely with the heel of her hand, catching a tear before it falls. โ€œFinally the doctor said he would give me four days. So I can tell his family.โ€

His family. Zeke is still in the city, and so is their Dauntless mother. It never occurred to me before that they don’t know what happened to him, and we never bothered to tell them, because we were all so focused onโ€” โ€œThey’re going to reset the city in forty-eight hours,โ€ I say suddenly, and I grab Tobias’s arm. He looks stunned. โ€œIf we can’t stop them, that

means Zeke and his mother willย forget him.โ€

They’ll forget him before they have a chance to say good-bye to him.

It will be like he never existed.

โ€œWhat?โ€ Christina demands, her eyes wide. โ€œMyย familyย is in there.

They can’t reset everyone! How could they do that?โ€

โ€œPretty easily, actually,โ€ Peter says. I had forgotten that he was there. โ€œWhat are you even doing here?โ€ I demand.

โ€œI went to see Uriah,โ€ he says. โ€œIs there a law against it?โ€

โ€œYou didn’t even care about him,โ€ I spit. โ€œWhat right do you haveโ€”โ€ โ€œTris.โ€ Christina shakes her head. โ€œNot now, okay?โ€

Tobias hesitates, his mouth open like there are words waiting on his tongue.

โ€œWe have to go in,โ€ he says. โ€œMatthew said we could inoculate people against the memory serum, right? So we’ll go in, inoculate Uriah’s family just in case, and take them back to the compound to say good-bye to him. We have to do it tomorrow, though, or we’ll be too late.โ€ He pauses. โ€œAnd you can inoculate your family too, Christina. I should be the one who tells Zeke and Hana, anyway.โ€

Christina nods. I squeeze her arm, in an attempt at reassurance.

โ€œI’m going too,โ€ Peter says. โ€œUnless you want me to tell David what you’re planning.โ€

We all pause to look at him. I don’t know what Peter wants with a journey into the city, but it can’t be good. At the same time, we can’t afford for David to find out what we’re doing, not now, when there’s no time.

โ€œFine,โ€ Tobias says. โ€œBut if you cause any trouble, I reserve the right to knock you unconscious and lock you in an abandoned building somewhere.โ€

Peter rolls his eyes.

โ€œHow do we get there?โ€ Christina says. โ€œIt’s not like they just let people borrow cars.โ€

โ€œI bet we could get Amar to take you,โ€ I say. โ€œHe told me today that he always volunteers for patrols. So he knows all the right people. And I’m sure he would agree to help Uriah and his family.โ€

โ€œI should go ask him now. And someone should probably sit with Uriah . . . make sure that doctor doesn’t go back on his word. Christina, not Peter.โ€ Tobias rubs the back of his neck, pawing at the Dauntless tattoo like he wants to tear it from his body. โ€œAnd then I should figure out how to tell Uriah’s family that he got killed when I was supposed to be looking out for him.โ€

โ€œTobiasโ€”โ€ I say, but he holds up a hand to stop me.

He starts to move away. โ€œThey probably won’t let me visit Nita anyway.โ€

Sometimes it’s hard to know how to take care of people. As I watch Peter and Tobias walk awayโ€”keeping their distance from each otherโ€”I think it’s possible that Tobias needs someone to run after him, because people have been letting him walk away, letting him withdraw, his entire life. But he’s right: He needs to do this for Zeke, and I need to talk to Nita.

โ€œCome on,โ€ Christina says. โ€œVisiting hours are almost over. I’m going back to sit with Uriah.โ€

Before I go to Nita’s roomโ€”identifiable by the security guard sitting by the doorโ€”I stop by Uriah’s room with Christina. She sits in the chair next to him, which is creased with the contours of her legs.

It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to her like a friend, a long time since we laughed together. I was lost in the fog of the Bureau, in the promise of belonging.

I stand next to her and look at him. He doesn’t really look injured anymoreโ€”there are some bruises, some cuts, but nothing serious enough to kill him. I tilt my head to see the snake tattoo wrapped around his ear. I know it’s him, but he doesn’t look much like Uriah without a wide smile on his face and his dark eyes bright, alert.

โ€œHe and I weren’t really even that close,โ€ she says. โ€œJust at the . . . the very end. Because he had lost someone who died, and so had I . . .โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ I say. โ€œYou really helped him.โ€

I drag a chair over to sit next to her. She clutches Uriah’s hand, which stays limp on the sheets.

โ€œSometimes I just feel like I’ve lost all my friends,โ€ she says.

โ€œYou haven’t lost Cara,โ€ I say. โ€œOr Tobias. And Christina, you haven’t lost me. You’ll never lose me.โ€

She turns to me, and somewhere in the haze of grief we wrap our arms around each other, in the same desperate way we did when she told me she had forgiven me for killing Will. Our friendship has held up under an incredible weight, the weight of me shooting someone she loved, the weight of so many losses. Other bonds would have broken. For some reason, this one hasn’t.

We stay clutched together for a long time, until the desperation fades. โ€œThanks,โ€ she says. โ€œYou won’t lose me, either.โ€

โ€œI’m pretty sure if I was going to, I would have already.โ€ I smile. โ€œListen, I have some things to catch you up on.โ€

I tell her about our plan to stop the Bureau from resetting the experiments. As I speak, I think of the people she stands to loseโ€”her father and mother, her sisterโ€”all those connections, forever altered or discarded, in the name of genetic purity.

โ€œI’m sorry,โ€ I say when I finish. โ€œI know you probably want to help us, but . . .โ€

โ€œDon’t be sorry.โ€ She stares at Uriah. โ€œI’m still glad I’m going into the city.โ€ She nods a few times. โ€œYou’ll stop them from resetting the experiment. I know you will.โ€

I hope she’s right.

I only have ten minutes until visiting hours are over when I arrive at Nita’s room. The guard looks up from his book and raises his eyebrow at me.

โ€œCan I go in?โ€ I say.

โ€œNot really supposed to let people in there,โ€ he says.

โ€œI’m the one who shot her,โ€ I say. โ€œDoes that count for anything?โ€ โ€œWell.โ€ He shrugs. โ€œAs long as you promise not to shoot her again.

And get out within ten minutes.โ€ โ€œIt’s a deal.โ€

He has me take off my jacket to show that I’m not carrying any weapons, and then he lets me into the room. Nita jerks to attentionโ€”as much as she can, anyway. Half her body is encased in plaster, and one of her hands is cuffed to the bed, as if she could escape even if she wanted to. Her hair is messy, knotted, but of course, she’s still pretty.

โ€œWhat are you doing here?โ€ she says.

I don’t answerโ€”I check the corners of the room for cameras, and there’s one across from me, pointed at Nita’s hospital bed.

โ€œThere aren’t microphones,โ€ she says. โ€œThey don’t really do that here.โ€

โ€œGood.โ€ I pull up a chair and sit beside her. โ€œI’m here because I need important information from you.โ€

โ€œI already told them everything I felt like telling them.โ€ She glares at me. โ€œI’ve got nothing more to say. Especially not to the person who shot me.โ€

โ€œIf I hadn’t shot you, I wouldn’t be David’s favorite person, and I wouldn’t know all the things I know.โ€ I glance at the door, more from paranoia than an actual concern that someone is listening in. โ€œWe’ve got a new plan. Matthew and I. And Tobias. And it will require getting into the Weapons Lab.โ€

โ€œAnd you thought I could help you with that?โ€ She shakes her head. โ€œI couldn’t get in the first time, remember?โ€

โ€œI need to know what the security is like. Is David the only person who knows the pass code?โ€

โ€œNot like . . . the only person ever,โ€ she says. โ€œThat would be stupid.

His superiors know it, but he’s the only person in the compound, yes.โ€ โ€œOkay, then what’s the backup security measure? The one that is

activated if you explode the doors?โ€

She presses her lips together so they almost disappear, and stares at the half-body cast covering her. โ€œIt’s the death serum,โ€ she says. โ€œIn aerosol form, it’s practically unstoppable. Even if you wear a clean suit or something, it works its way in eventually. It just takes a little more time that way. That’s what the lab reports said.โ€

โ€œSo they just automaticallyย killย anyone who makes their way into that room without the pass code?โ€ I say.

โ€œIt surprises you?โ€

โ€œI guess not.โ€ I balance my elbows on my knees. โ€œAnd there’s no other way in except with David’s code.โ€

โ€œWhich, as you found out, he is completely unwilling to share,โ€ she says.

โ€œThere’s no chance a GP could resist the death serum?โ€ I say. โ€œNo. Definitely not.โ€

โ€œMost GPs can’t resist the truth serum, either,โ€ I say. โ€œBut I can.โ€

โ€œIf you want to go flirt with death, be my guest.โ€ She leans back into the pillows. โ€œI’m done with that now.โ€

โ€œOne more question,โ€ I say. โ€œSay I do want to flirt with death. Where do I get explosives to break through the doors?โ€

โ€œLike I’m going to tell you that.โ€

โ€œI don’t think you get it,โ€ I say. โ€œIf this plan succeeds, you won’t be imprisoned for life anymore. You’ll recover and you’ll go free. So it’s in your best interest to help me.โ€

She stares at me like she is weighing and measuring me. Her wrist tugs against the handcuff, just enough that the metal carves a line into her skin.

โ€œReggie has the explosives,โ€ she says. โ€œHe can teach you how to use them, but he’s no good in action, so for God’s sake, don’t bring him along unless you feel like babysitting.โ€

โ€œNoted,โ€ I say.

โ€œTell him it will require twice as much firepower to get through those doors than any others. They’re extremely sturdy.โ€

I nod. My watch beeps on the hour, signaling that my time is up. I stand and push my chair back to the corner where I found it.

โ€œThank you for the help,โ€ I say.

โ€œWhat is the plan?โ€ she says. โ€œIf you don’t mind telling me.โ€ I pause, hesitating over the words.

โ€œWell,โ€ I say eventually. โ€œLet’s just say it will erase the phrase โ€˜genetically damaged’ from everyone’s vocabulary.โ€

The guard opens the door, probably to yell at me for overstaying my welcome, but I’m already making my way out. I look over my shoulder just once before going, and I see that Nita is wearing a small smile.

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