VIVIAN
Instead of seeking out my father or checking into a hotel after leaving Dante’s house, I wandered around Central Park with my
suitcase like a tourist fresh off the train at Penn Station.
I’d hoped the spring air would clear my head, but all it did was remind me of my engagement photoshoot with Dante.
Bow Bridge. Bethesda Terrace. Even the bench where we ate breakfast after the shoot.
I did what I had to do. No one threatens a Russo. I had to protect my family…this is just business.
I waited for emotion—any emotion—to set in, but other than a brief pinch when I passed one of our photoshoot spots, I only felt numb. I couldn’t even summon anger or concern over the possible implosion of my father’s company.
Too much had happened, and my brain refused to work properly.
I was an actress living someone else’s life, untouched by the chaos rolling in overhead.
For now, at least.
I wandered the park until the sun set. Even in my zombified state, I knew better than to stay in the park alone after dark.
I climbed into the nearest cab, opened my mouth to tell the driver to take me to The Carlyle, and ended up giving him Sloane’s address instead.
The thought of spending the night in an impersonal hotel room finally sparked a flicker of panic.
I arrived at Sloane’s apartment twenty minutes later. She answered after the second doorbell ring, took one look at my luggage and ringless finger, and ushered me inside without a word.
I sank onto the couch while she disappeared into the kitchen. Now that I wasn’t alone anymore, feeling crept back in.
The ache in my arms from dragging my suitcase all day. The blisters on my feet from walking in my expensive but impractical shoes. The gaping, excruciating hollow in my chest where my heart used to beat, healthy and whole.
Now, the organ lurched like a car on its last fumes, struggling to return somewhere it’d never belonged.
I blinked away the pressure mounting behind my eyes when Sloane returned with a mug and a pack of my favorite lemon butter cookies in hand.
We sat in silence for a second before she spoke. “Do I need to sharpen my knives and prepare contingency plans for a homicide charge?”
I mustered a weak laugh. “No. Nothing quite that drastic.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Her gaze narrowed. “What happened?”
“I…Dante and I broke up.” Another piece of my earlier numbness splintered into a painful throb.
“I gathered as much.” Sloane’s reply was matter of fact, not sarcastic. “What did the fucker do?”
“It wasn’t his fault. Not entirely.” I managed to summarize the day’s events without breaking down, but my voice cracked toward the end.
I’m sorry you got caught in the middle of this…I had to protect my family…this is just business.
Another splinter, this one large enough to knock the breath out of my lungs. The pressure behind my eyes amplified.
To Sloane’s credit, she didn’t fall into dramatics over the shocking revelations. It wasn’t her style, and it was one of the reasons I’d come to her instead of Isabella. As much as I loved Isa, she’d want to know every detail and rehash the situation ad nauseam. I didn’t have the energy or emotional bandwidth for that right now.
“Okay, so the engagement is officially off, which means we need a plan,” Sloane said crisply. “We’ll call the wedding vendors in the morning and cancel. It might be too late for a full refund, but I’m sure I can convince most, if not all, of them to issue partial reimbursements. Actually…” She pursed her lips. “Scratch that. We need to draft language for the breakup announcement first. We don’t want any of the vendors leaking to the press. The society papers will be all over this, and—”
“Sloane.” My hands strangled my mug. Every word out of her mouth ratcheted my anxiety up another notch. “Can we discuss this later? I appreciate the help, but I can’t…I can’t think about all of that right now.”
The enormity of the next few weeks overwhelmed me. I had to move the rest of my belongings out of Dante’s house, confront my father, figure out where my relationship with him went from here, cancel the wedding, and deal with the public fallout of my broken engagement. On top of all that, the Legacy Ball was in less than a week, and we were entering another busy season for events.
Cold sweat broke out on my forehead, and I forcibly dragged air through my nose to slow down my frantic heartbeat.
Sloane’s face softened.
“Right. Of course.” She cleared her throat. “Do you want me to call Isa? She’s much better at…this”—she gestured vaguely around us—“than I am.”
“Later. I just want to shower and sleep, if you don’t mind.” I stared at my tea, feeling stupid and ashamed and embarrassed and a thousand other things in between. “I’m sorry for showing up without warning like this. I just…didn’t want to be by myself tonight.”
“Vivian.” Sloane placed her hand over mine, her voice firm. “You don’t need to apologize. Stay as long as you want. My guest room wasn’t getting much use, anyway. You, Isabella, and the maintenance guy are the only people I allow in my apartment.”
“I didn’t know you had that kind of a relationship with your maintenance guy,” I half-heartedly joked. “Scandalous.”
She didn’t smile, but concern lined her brow. “Get some rest. We’ll figure everything out in the morning.”
My attempted smile collapsed. “Thank you,” I whispered.
Sloane wasn’t a hugger, but the squeeze of her hand conveyed the same sentiment.
Later that night, I lay in bed, unable to sleep despite my exhaustion.
I’d lost both my father and my fiancé in some way or another today.
Two of the most important people in my life, unrecognizable or gone.
My father lied, manipulated, and used me while Dante…
I never willingly chose her. This is just business.
The pressure behind my eyes finally exploded. The remaining pieces of numbness disintegrated, replaced with pain so sharp and intense I would’ve doubled over had I been standing.
Instead, I curled into a fetal position and gave in to the sobs wracking my body.
They crashed over me, one after another, until my throat turned raw and wetness scalded my cheeks.
But no matter how hard I cried or how much I shook, I couldn’t make a sound.
My sobs remained silent, felt but unheard.
 |
DANTE
I took the next three days off work.
I tried to work. I really did, but I couldn’t focus. During every call, I heard Vivian’s voice. During every meeting, I saw her face.
At this point, I was a liability to the company, so I instructed Helena to cancel my meetings for the week and took the time to get my head straight.
That meant cracking open a bottle of whiskey every night, retreated to the living room, and ignoring Greta’s questions until she stormed off in flurry of curses.
Tonight was no exception.
I tipped my head and bottle back.
The liquor burned down my throat and filled my stomach, but the aching emptiness remained.
I was simply unused to Vivian’s absence after living with her for so long. It’d pass, as would my emotional attachment to her.
People broke up and moved on every day. It wasn’t anything fucking special.
I tossed back another swig. The fireplace was unlit for spring, but a hazy memory of its flames and the way their light danced across Vivian’s features filled my mind.
Are you afraid I’ll break the engagement? Run off with Heath and leave you looking like a fool in front of your friends? Why do you care?
They’re ice cream cufflinks. I know a jeweler on Rue de la Paix who makes customized pieces…
It’s not just business for you. And it’s not just duty for me. I’m glad I came to Paris.
Pain lashed at my chest, a stinging burn.
“Maybe you can talk some sense into him.” Greta’s grumble drifted into the room from the hall. “He’s been sitting and drinking these past few days like his no-good great uncle Agostino used to do. Non mi piace parlare male dei morti, ma grazie al cielo non è più qui con noi.”
“I’ll try.” Luca’s voice gave me pause before I shrugged it off and lifted the bottle to my lips again.
He probably needed an advance on his allowance. He rarely visited unless he wanted something.
I didn’t look at him when he entered and took the seat across from me.
He watched me for a moment before speaking. “What the hell happened?”
“Nothing.” My head swam, and I blinked away the fuzziness before correcting myself. “Vivian and I broke up.”
The words tasted bitter. Perhaps I should switch from whiskey to something sweeter, like rum.
“What?” Luca’s pale face came into my line of vision when I finally turned. The small movement required as much effort as swimming through molasses.
Christ, had my head always been this heavy?
It’s your ego. It adds at least ten pounds. Vivian’s hypothetical teasing sounded in my ears.
A vise clamped around my heart. It was bad enough her every word and smile were burned into my memory. Now I was hearing things she didn’t say?
“Why?” Luca demanded. “What about Francis and the photos?”
Right. I hadn’t told him I’d destroyed the photos yet, partly because I’d been distracted, and partly because they kept him in check. Hell, he deserved to sweat a little longer after the fucking mess he landed me in.
“I took care of them,” I said curtly. “Which was why Francis visited me earlier this week. Vivian overhead. We broke up. The end.”
“Christ, Dante, you couldn’t have told me this earlier? Why’d I have to get a call from Greta fretting about how aliens took over your body?”
“I don’t know, Luca. Maybe because I was busy saving your ass,” I bit out.
He stared at me for a second before slumping in his chair. “Shit. Well, this is good, right? Blackmail’s gone. Francis is gone. Vivian’s gone. This is what you wanted.”
Another long pull. “Yep.”
“You don’t look very happy,” he observed.
Anger snapped free of its leash. “What do you want me to do, throw a parade? For fuck’s sake, I just saved your life, and all you can do is comment on whether I look happy!”
Luca didn’t flinch. “You’re my brother,” he said calmly. “Your happiness is important to me.”
Just like that, my anger fizzled as quickly as it came. “If that were true, you wouldn’t have gotten us into this mess in the first place.”
He grimaced. “Yes, well, I’ve done my fair share of…questionable things, as you might know.”
I snorted in agreement.
“But you were right to make me get a job. I actually like working at Lohman & Sons, and the structure has been good for me. It’s nice not waking up with a hangover every day.” A smile flitted over Luca’s mouth. “I admit, I was resentful as hell when you first brought it up. The whole blackmail thing didn’t seem real at the time, and I hated how you punished me like I was your child instead of your brother. The job, breaking up with Maria. I was…selfish.”
I lowered my bottle and narrowed my eyes. “I’m not the one whose body was taken over by aliens. Who are you, and what the hell have you
done to my brother?”
Luca laughed. “Like I said, the structure has been good for me. So has not hanging out with my old crowd as much. Actually…” He cleared his throat. “I met a girl. Leaf. She’s really put things into perspective for me.”
“You’re dating someone named Leaf?” I asked, incredulous.
“Her parents were hippies,” he said by way of explanation. “She’s a yoga instructor in Brooklyn. Very flexible. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve been doing a lot of inner work with her.”
I bet he has. I should’ve known. All the big shifts in Luca’s life revolved around women, booze, or parties.
“She’s helping me heal my inner child,” he continued. “That includes fixing our brotherly relationship.”
Jesus. I supposed a Brooklyn yoga instructor named Leaf was better than a mafia princess. Higher chance of turning my brother vegan, lower chance of getting him killed.
“What about Maria? I thought you were in love.”
“I haven’t talked to her in—er, since we spoke in your office.” Luca coughed. “I was talking to Leaf about it. I think I mistook the thrill of the forbidden for love love, you know? The two are easily confused.”
You don’t fucking say.
“But enough about my love life. We were talking about yours. With Vivian.”
I tensed again. “We sure as hell weren’t.”
“You should be celebrating after getting rid of the Laus,” he said, ignoring me. “But you’re here drinking alone like Great Uncle Agostino after losing at poker. We both know why.”
“Because I’m trying to forget I have an annoying as fuck brother with terrible taste in women.”
“No. Because you actually like Vivian,” he said pointedly. “You might even love her.”
The wrecking ball of his speculation ricocheted through my chest and knocked my heartbeat off-kilter. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Be honest.” Luca leaned forward and fixed a hard stare on me. It wasn’t an expression I was used to seeing on him. It was unsettling. “Putting aside all the bullshit with Francis, do you want to be with her?”
I tugged at my tie, only to realize I wasn’t wearing one. Then why the hell did my throat feel so tight? “It’s not that simple.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because it’s not,” I snapped. “What do you think will happen? We’ll have happy family meals at Thanksgiving after I destroy her father’s company? Get married in front of all our friends like the way we got together wasn’t completely fucked? If I marry her, Francis wins. He’ll still have a Russo as an in-law. People will question why the fuck I’m not saving him when his company goes up in flames. It’ll be a goddamn mess!”
“Sure,” Luca said, seemingly unimpressed by my explanation. “But that doesn’t answer my question. Do you want to be with her?”
Forget Romano’s wrath. I was seconds away from giving into mine and strangling him with my bare hands.
If it weren’t for him, Francis wouldn’t have blackmailed me. If he hadn’t blackmailed me, I wouldn’t have gotten engaged to Vivian. If I hadn’t gotten engaged to Vivian, I wouldn’t have fallen—
Realization punched me in the chest, so hard and sudden I swore I heard a crack.
Bruised heart, fractured ribs, stolen breath, all in the space of a minute. It was like my body was punishing me for not recognizing the truth earlier when it’d been so damn obvious.
The way I’d stayed in bed longer every morning just to catch her first smile of the day.
The way our takeout lunch dates became my favorite part of the work week.
The way I’d opened up to her about my family, my life, myself…
And the way watching her walk away on Monday had cost me an irretrievable piece of my soul.
The breath left my lungs.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with Vivian Lau.
Not like or lust. Love, in all its terrifying, unpredictable, unwanted glory.
Luca watched me process the realization, his expression equal parts amused and concerned. “That’s what I thought.”
Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK.
I rubbed a hand over my face, restless and unsettled.
What the hell was I supposed to do now? I’d never been in love. Never planned to be in love. And now, I’d gone and fallen for the one woman I shouldn’t have like a damn idiot.
“When the hell did you turn into the older brother?” The topic was safer than the unresolved one hanging in the air.
“Trust me, I’m not, and I don’t want to be. Too much responsibility. But that’s the point.” Luca’s face sobered. “You’ve sacrificed a lot for me, Dante. I don’t always acknowledge or openly appreciate it, but I…” He swallowed hard. “I know. All the times you showed up for me when others couldn’t or wouldn’t. Agreeing to marry Vivian, then giving her up. That’s what I meant when I said we need to fix our relationship. You’ve always been a parent figure because I needed a parent figure. But now…I’d like us to try and be brothers.”
This time, the pinch in my chest had nothing to do with Vivian. “Meaning?”
“Meaning I’ll try not to fuck up and have you bail me out.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “And I call you out on your bullshit when I need to, like now. You love Vivian. I saw it happening even in Bali. But you let her go
because of what? Your pride and vengeance? Those things will only get you so far.”
“Did Leaf tell you that?”
“Nah.” Another grin. “I read an article about the seven sins in my dentist’s waiting room.”
I let out a scoff, but his words replayed on a loop in my head.
You let her go because of what? Your pride and vengeance? Those things will only get you so far.
“I should’ve put you to work sooner. It would’ve saved me a shit ton of money and headaches.” I scrubbed my face again, trying to make sense of this rollercoaster of a day. “Why are you so invested in my relationship with Vivian?”
Luca’s grin disappeared.
“Because you’ve protected me my whole life,” he said quietly. “And it’s time I returned the favor.”
I blamed the burn in my heart on the alcohol. “That’s what my security team is for.”
“Not from other people. From yourself.” Luca nodded at the half-empty bottle still loosely clasped in my hand. “Don’t let your pursuit of wrath ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Yeah, figuring things out with Vivian will be hard, but you’ve always been a fighter. So fucking fight.”
