Some decisions happen all at once. And others build up over time.
A girl makes a deal with the darkness, after years of dreaming.
A girl falls in love with a boy in a moment, and resolves to set him free. Addie doesnโt know exactly when she decided.
Perhaps she has known since the night Luc walked back into their lives. Or perhaps she has known since the night he wrote her name.
Or perhaps she has known since he said those words:
I remember you.
She isnโt sure.
It doesnโt matter.
What matters is that, three nights before the end, Addie slips out of bed. Henry rolls over in his sleep, wakes enough to hear her padding down the hall, but not enough to hear her put on her shoes, or slip out into the dark.
It is almost twoโthat time between very late, and very earlyโand even Brooklyn has quieted to a murmur as she walks the two blocks to the Merchant bar. It is an hour until closing, the crowd thinned to a few determined drinkers.
Addie takes a stool at the bar, and orders a shot of tequila. Sheโs never been one for hard liquor, but she downs the drink in one, feels the warmth settle in her chest as she reaches into her pocket and finds the ring.
Her fingers curl around the wooden band.
She draws it out, balances the ring upright on the counter.
She spins it like a coin, but there are no heads or tails, no yes or no, no choice beyond the one sheโs already made. She decides that when it settles, she will put it on. When it fallsโbut as it begins to wobble and tip, a hand comes down on top of it, pressing it flat against the bar.
The hand is smooth and strong, the fingers long, the details just as she once drew them. โShouldnโt you be with your love?โ
There is no humor in Lucโs eyes. They are flat, and dark.
โHeโs sleeping,โ she says, โand I cannot.โ Lucโs hand has withdrawn, and Addie looks at the pale circle of the ring still on the counter.
โAdeline,โ he says, stroking her hair. โIt will hurt. And it will pass. All things do.โ
โExcept for us,โ she murmurs. And then she adds, as if to herself, โI am glad it was only a year.โ
Luc sinks onto the stool beside her. โAnd how was it, your human love?
Was it everything you dreamed of?โ โNo,โ she says, and it is the truth.
It was messy. It was hard. It was wonderful, and strange, and frightening, and fragileโso fragile it hurtโand it was worth every single moment. She does not tell him any of that. Instead, she lets the โnoโ hang in the air between them, heavy with the weight of Lucโs assumption. His eyes, such a smug shade of green.
โBut Henry doesnโt deserve to die to prove your point.โ The arrogance flickers, cut through with anger.
โA deal is a deal,โ he says. โIt cannot be broken.โ
โAnd yet, you told me once that a deal could be bent, the terms rewritten. Did you mean it? Or was it just part of the ploy to get me to surrender?โ
Lucโs expression darkens. โThere was no ploy, Adeline. But if you think Iโll change the terms of hisโโ
Addie shakes her head. โIโm not talking about Henryโs deal,โ she says. โIโm talking about mine.โ She has practiced the words, but they still tumble awkwardly off her tongue. โIโm not asking for your mercy, and I know you have no charity. So Iโm offering a trade. Let Henry go. Let him live. Let himย remember me,ย andโโ
โYou would surrender your soul?โ There is a shadow in his gaze when he says it, a hesitation in the words, less want than worry, and she knows
then, she has him.
โNo,โ she says. โBut only because you do not want it.โ And before he can protest, she continues, โYou wantย me.โ
Luc says nothing, but his eyes brighten, his interest piqued.
โYou were right,โ she says. โI am not one of them. Not anymore. And I am tired of losing. Tired of mourning everything I ever try to love.โ She reaches out to touch Lucโs cheek. โBut I wonโt lose you. And you wonโt lose me. So yes.โ She looks straight into his eyes. โDo this, and I will be yours, as long as you want me by your side.โ
He seems to hold his breath, but sheโs the one who cannot breathe. The world tips, falters, threatening to fall.
And then, at last, Luc smiles, his green eyes emerald with victory. โI accept.โ
She lets herself fold, bows her head against his chest in relief. And then his fingers come up beneath her chin, tipping her face to his, and he kisses her the way he did the night they met, swift, and deep, and hungry, and Addie feels his teeth skate across her bottom lip, the taste of copper blossom on her tongue.
And she knows that it is done.