When we were children, Harristan and I would climb out of the tunnel and leave our royal lives behind like shedding a skin. He might have been slower to run and climb, but he was always better with the people. Merchants would sometimes see a boy with too many coins for his own good and theyโd try to con him out of them, but my brother could never be tricked or swindled. He used to say that being coddled and sheltered and wrapped up in blankets gave him a lot of time to study people. Itโs truly a miracle I was able to keep Weston Lark a secret from him for so long.
No. It wasnโt a miracle. It was trust. He trusts me. Heย trustedย me.
Iโm not sure Iโll ever be able to erase the memory of the look on his face when he asked me if I was involved with the smugglers. Itโs etched as deeply as the moment I heard a boot scrape against rock in the Hold and I hoped he would appear through the haze of smoke.
Tessa looks at me, and I can feel the weight of her gaze. Always before, it was easy to forget everything that awaited me in the palace and lose myself to the persona of Weston Lark.
Today, itโs not. Tessa knows too much, and everything is at stake. I suppose it always was, for her.
โIf we discover whoโs behind the attacks,โ she says slowly, โwhat will you do to them?โ
โIt depends.โ
She gives me a look, and I li๎ย one shoulder in a shrug. โIt does.โ I glance down and meet her eyes. โI canโt allow them to continue. You know that.โ
โI do. I know.โ But she swallows, and I realize this bothers her.
โEven if we stop the attacks, it wonโt cure the fever,โ I say. โBut right now, Allisander has the rightโand the motiveโto restrict access to the
Moonย ower. I canโt do anything if he locks himself up in his sector. If I can prove to him that his supply runs are safe and that Iโm not a rebel myself, I can work with Harristan toย gure out a more equitable way to distribute the elixir, especially if you can prove that we can do more with less.โ
โ๎ขatโs a lot ofย ifsย again.โ She draws a long breath that shudders a little. โAnd it might not stop a revolution.โ
โTessa.โ I look down at her and think of Quint sharing his worries in my quarters. If she runs, it would be nearly impossible to explain away, but I wonโt force her to do this against her will. โI have a pouch of coins. If you want outโโ
โNo.โ She shakes her head a little. โI want to do the right thing.โ
โHmm.โ I look straight ahead. โ๎ขe problem is that we all have di๏ฌerent ideas of whatโs right.โ I sigh. โIncluding my brother. To say nothing of Allisander.โ
โSometimes things are justย right,โ she says forcefully. โItโs not fair that people are dying when we can help them. Itโs not fair that Allisander can control so muchโjust because he has land and money. Itโs not fair that youโre expected toโโ
โAllisander is motivated by silver, so heโd likely consider it very fairโโ โIโm not talking about Consul Sallister. Iโm talking about the king.โ
๎ขose words drop like a rock, and Iโm not sure what to say. โItโs not a matter of expectation, Tessa.โ My voice turns rough against my will. โItโs a matter of need.โ
โWhen we were in the carriage, you told me you couldnโt leave him behind.โ She pauses. โDo you think your brother is weak?โ
I think of the way Harristan reads every plea, how the deaths of our people seem to weigh on him. How he rarely wants the details of what I do to maintain the illusion of control.
I think of how he dove to cover me when our parents were slaughtered. Or how, a๎erward, he stepped into his role as king.
โI would never call him weak,โ I say.
Sheโs quiet for a while, and then she says very gently, โDo you think, if you were no longer Kingโs Justice, that your brother would be able to maintain control?โ
Iโm not sure how to answer that either. I suppose thatโs answer enough.
She keeps her gaze forward. โWhen my parents died, I wasnโt sure how I would survive. It was all I could do to remember to eat. Sometimes I think that meeting you for . . . forย thisย . . . was the only thing that forced me out of bed.โ She pauses. โI canโt imagine having to run a country.โ
โ๎ขe consuls worried Harristan was too young, and they tried to make a claim for ruling in his stead, but he was nineteen and they had no legal right. And a๎er Consul Barnard was outed as being behind the plot to kill them, we didnโt trust any of them. At every meeting, everyย interaction, they looked for weakness.ย ๎ขey waited for us to fail. We had no one.โ My throat is tight, and I wish this conversation werenโt summoning memories I try to keep buried. โWe only had each other.โ
โBarnard wasnโt working with any of the others?โ
โWe could neverย nd evidence of it.โ I shrug. โAnd then the fevers began to spread more widely, and . . . well, you know how Kandala has fared.โ
โ๎ขe morning I met with Harristan, he said that itโs easy to love your king when everyone is healthy and well fed, but a bit harder when everyone isnโt.โ She sighs. โAnd I know what Consul Sallister would do if he were in charge. He talked about the prisoners like . . . like they werenโt even people.โ
โHis father was no better. Lissa Marpetta is greedy, but sheโs never been like Allisander. Sheโs content to follow his lead when it comes to maintaining control, however. A bit of a silent partner.โ
โItโs all so . . . so cold.โ โI know.โ
She glances up at me. โYou said you and Harristan used to sneak out when you were children, but no one was sick then. Why did you start bringing medicine into the Wilds?โ
โI didnโt start with medicine.โ I study her in the darkness, the way the shadows trace her features. โ๎ขat came later.โ
โ๎ขen how did it start?โ
I shrug a little, but itโs more to cover my own discomfort. None of these memories are good.ย ๎ขe early ones strike the hardest, like the day my parents were killed.
โWhen Harristanย rst named me as Kingโs Justice,โ I say quietly, โI was
๎een. I knew what the role required, of course, but in the beginning, the people werenโt very sick. No one was stealing Moonย ower petals. I was never forced to do anything truly terrible. I thought I could skip being cruel by
beingย creative, like sentencing people to chisel a thousand bricks from the side of a mountain. I never had to order an execution. I neverย wantedย to order an execution.โ I snort at my naivete. โI remember thinking that maybe weโd get lucky, that no one would ever do anything trulyย bad.โ
We walk in silence for a moment. Sheโs patient, waiting for the rest of my story.
But she knows where I ended up. Maybe thatโs whatโs making all of this harder to say.
โMore and more people began to get sick,โ I say, โand the Moonย ower was found to cure the illness. Suddenly, it was a commodity.โ I draw a long breath, remembering theย ghts that would break out in the street overย rumorย of a few petals. โ๎ขe entire country was falling apart. Homes were being raided, false cures were being spread, Moonย ower was being stolen. We were getting reports from consuls daily, about violence in their sectors as people fought to get access to a cure.โ I shake my head, remembering one of the letters had a streak of blood down the side by the time it made its way to the palace. โIt was . . . horrible.โ
โI remember,โ she whispers.
Of course she does. She was in the thick of it. โHarristan had to take a stand,โ I say. โWhich meansย youย had to take a stand.โ
I nod. I want to leave it there, but I still havenโt answered her question. โ๎ขeย rstโโ I hesitate. โ๎ขeย rstย . . . was a man whoโd killed a child. His name was Jarrod Kannoly.โ I donโt remember all their names, but his will be forever etched into my memories. โHe said he didnโt mean to, that it was an accident, but . . .โ I shrug and run a hand across the back of my neck. โEveryone says theyย didnโt mean to. But a woman had bought enough Moonย ower for her family, and the man heard about it. He grabbed the little girl and said heโd cut her throat if the woman didnโt give him half.โ
Tessa is staring at me. โAnd heย did?โ
I nod. โIt happened in the Royal Sector, so they brought him right to the Hold. He was coated in blood.โ
I still remember Harristanโs voice when he heard about it. Cory. We have to do something.ย ๎ปe consuls are demanding action. We have to stop this.
We have to do something. Meaningย Iย had to do something.
โIt was awful,โ I whisper.ย ๎ขere have been many since then, but the memory of that one is always the hardest. Maybe because it was theย rst. Maybe because of what heโd done. Maybe because of the knowledge that no matter what I did to him, it wouldnโt bring that little girl back to her mother. I shake o๏ฌย the emotion. โI snuck out of the palace that night,โ I say. โ๎ขere was a part of me that wanted to run, to lose myself in the Wilds. But I
couldnโt leave Harristan. You know.โ โI know.โ
โI had silver in my pockets, and I just started leaving it anywhere it seemed it could do a bit of good. On windowsills, in doorways, in the pockets of laundry le๎ย out to dry. As many coins as I could carry.โ I pause. โIt was never enough. And Iโd see the elites buyingย so much, so much more medicine than they needed.โ
She stares up at me. I stare back.
I take a long breath. โAnd then there was a night that I saw a man and his wife sneaking medicine, and atย rst, I was so angry.โ My jaw is tight. โI thought they were more smugglers. I didnโt know what I was going to do, but I followed them out of the sector. And thenโand then they met up with a girlโa girl about my ageโโ
She sucks in a breath. โYouโre talking about me. My parents.โ
I nod. โYes. I saw what you were doing. Iย gured it out.โ I pause. โI wanted to help. I didnโt knowย howย to help.โ
Sheโs still staring up at me, and I wish I could see that night through her eyes. I was keeping my distance, always so wary of getting tangled up with the night patrol, because I knew my actions would bring down Harristan. I remember how they dragged Tessaโs father out of the shadows, how he fought back. How her mother fought back.ย ๎ขe crossbowsย red before I could even get to them. I remember dragging Tessa away, clamping my hand over her mouth, trapping us both behind a copse of trees. She was shaking against me, tears soaking into my hand.
โI did what I could,โ I say to her now, and my voice almost breaks. I have to take a shuddering breath. โI do what I can. And every day, I regret that itโs never enough.โ
Moonlight sparks in her eyes, but I canโt read her expression. We stand there in silence, sharing breath.
A twig snaps, and voices carry through the trees.
I swear, grabbing hold of her hand, pulling her o๏ฌย the path. โListen.โ
Booted feet clomp along the path, with men speaking in low tones. I canโt tell if itโs the night patrol, but weโre deep in the wooded part of the Wilds, so itโs unlikelyโthough not impossible, since weโve doubled the number of patrolmen. I hold my breath as they draw close.
๎ขen I recognize the men. Dorry Contrel and Timm Ballenger. Both middle-aged forge workers from Steel City who have wives at home and half a dozen children between them. Hardworking men who grunt and moan about the king and his brother, but worry more about feeding their families and keeping them healthy than anything else. Tessa and I have brought their families medicine in the past, when they havenโt been able to manage food and tea leaves on their monthly wages.
Itโs unusual for them to be out at this time of night.
I think of Jarvis, the man in the cell when I visited with Allisander. I was surprised toย nd him caught among smugglers, too.
I strain to listen, but I canโt make out much of what theyโre saying, and the words I do catch arenโt incriminating.ย ๎ขeyโre heading our way, though, toward their homes.
Once theyโre past, Tessa peers up at me in the darkness.ย ๎ขe weight of everything I said hangs between us, but she only whispers, โWhy are they out at this hour?โ
I shake my head. โLetโs see if we canย nd out.โ
 |
We donโt follow the men straight to their homes. If they were out and about for anything untoward, I donโt want to spook them. Instead, we begin on the north side of the village.ย ๎ขeย rst house is tiny, with hardly more space than our workshop.ย ๎ขe roof leaks during the spring rains, but Alfred and Tris, the man and woman who live there, are in their late seventies and canโt climb up there to do any repairs. Months ago, I brought them a stretch of sailcloth with their medicine and within a day, others from the village had nailed it across the worst spots. Tris repaid me with fresh eggs, which Tessa took and boiled and brought the next morning for us to share in the workshop.
Itโs been weeks since I was here, but it feels like years. My chest grows tight.
โIโll keep watch,โ Tessa whispers as we near the house. Her eyes are shadowed behind the mask, her lips a pale curve in the darkness. She must catch sight of my expression because she frowns. โWhatโs wrong?โ
Everything.
I shake my head slightly. โNothing.โ
She squeezes my hand and slips into the shadows. I tap at the door lightly, three short raps followed by two more deliberate ones. It takes a moment, but eventually the door creaks open.
Itโs Tris. She looks like sheโs aged a decade. Her hair is thinner, her cheeks more sunken.
Her face breaks into a wide smile when she recognizes me.ย ๎ขe joy and relief in her eyes isย eeting on her side, and gutting on mine.
โWeston,โ she whispers. โWeโve been so worried.โ She steps forward, her arms wide. No one reacts like this to my presence in the Royal Sector.ย ๎ขen her arms close around me, and itโs like being embraced by a ghost.
โTris,โ I say so๎ly. โHave you been eating?โ
โHere and there.โ She doesnโt let go of me. โI forget sometimes without Alfred to remind me.โ
I go still. I knew our disappearance would have wide-reaching e๏ฌects. I didnโt expect it to strike theย rst house we visited. โAlfred is gone.โ
Sheย nally draws back and nods. Her eyes well.
โHere,โ I say, gesturing toward the room behind her. I sweep my gaze across the room, wondering if I can get her to eat something now. โSit.โ
She hobbles into the room, dabbing at her eyes. She eases into a rocking chair beside the bed.
๎ขereโs a heel of bread on the table, and I bring it to her, then hang her kettle over theย re.
โIโm sorry,โ I say quietly. It doesnโt feel like enough.
It never feels like enough, but tonight, I feel it more acutely.
โItโs been about a week,โ she says, and a tear streaks down her face. โI didnโt want him to go.โ
I drop to a knee in front of her and pull an apple from my bag, pressing it into her hands. People in the Wilds tend to look out for each other, so Iโm
sure she hasnโt been starving, but the kitchen pantry looks barren. โIโll try to bring more food the next time I come.โ
Iโve fallen back into my role as Weston Lark, as if no time at all has passed, so I say the words automatically.
Iโm a fool.ย ๎ขere might notย beย a next time.
She squeezes my hand. โYouโve always been such a kind boy.โ She swipes away a tear with the back of her hand. โAlfred will be sorry he missed you. I thought you might have been captured, but he always says youโve got a good head on your shoulders. Is young Tessa with you?โ
Wait. โWhat?โ
โTessa? I always thought she might be sweet on you. She hasnโt been caught by the night patrol, has she?โ She wrings her hands.
โNo, IโTessa isย ne. But did you say Alfred would beโโ I break o๏ฌ. I must have misheard her.
But Tris nods. โSorry he missed you. I was so worried when I heard of the captures during the raids yesterday, but Lochlan said everyone from our village was accounted for, and Alfred wouldnโt be in direct danger.โ
I stare at her. โAlfred isnโt dead?โ
โWhat?โ She blinks. โOh, I hope not!โ She wrings her hands again. โHave you heard news?โ
I canโt tell if sheโs addled or if weโre speaking of di๏ฌerent things. โTris,โ I say as gently as I can. โDid Alfred die of the fever?โ
โOh, goodness no. When we agreed to help with the raids, Lochlan said the Benefactors would give us enough medicine to survive, and he was right. Weโre always a bit tight for food, but weโve made it work. It was such a blessing, a๎er you and Tessa had to stop coming. Look.โ She hands me a small pouch.
Lochlan.ย ๎ขe name tugs at my memory, but I canโt place it. I take the pouch and tug at the strings. Dried petals are gray and white at the bottom of the bag.
โTake it,โ says Tris. โI have plenty, thanks to Alfred.โ โWes.โ Tessa hisses at the door. โ๎ขe night patrol.โ
โGet back into bed,โ I say to Tris. I pocket the pouch of petals. โIโll be back when I can.โ
Iโm out the door and in the shadows with Tessa before I draw a full breath. My thoughts are churning with what Tris said, but I canโt make sense
of any of it.
๎ขe night patrol clomps between the trees a short distance away, and we crouch together in the darkness against the back wall of the house, huddling against the stacked stones of the chimney. We always stay close when we hide, but tonight Iโm very aware of her breathing, of the scent of her skin, of the way her shoulder brushes against mine.
I should move away. I should harden my eyes and turn o๏ฌย the churning emotions in my chest. I should have le๎ย her in the palace and done this alone.
I canโt even convince myself. I canโt imagine ever doing this without her at my side.
I donโt dare speak. I wish I could share my thoughts.ย Forgive me.
Please, Tessa.
I would give anything.
โYou there!โ a man shouts, and I jump and shove Tessa behind me, pressing back against the wall of the house.
But we havenโt been discovered.ย ๎ขree patrolmen have crossbows trained on a boy with a pack a short distance away. He canโt be more than thirteen or fourteen, and I suddenly realize I know him. His name is Forrest, and he lives with his parents on the far side of the village. His eyes are wide, his cheeks stark white in the moonlight. Heโs right at the edge of the tree line, and he must have walked right out in front of them.
I remember Mistress Kendall crying over Gillis, and I wonder if there will be another mother sobbing over her son, getting slaughtered in the darkness when she screams at the night patrol.
One of the patrolmen grabs Forrestโs satchel and yanks it open. โA bit young to be smuggling, arenโt you, boy?โ
At my back, Tessa is breathing shallowly, herย ngers in a death grip on mine now.
Iโve never interfered with the night patrol as Wes.ย ๎ขe risk was always too great. Tessa and I hide, and we do what we can.
Tonight, the stakes feel di๏ฌerent.
Forrest swallows and stammers, โIโm notโIโm notโIโm notโโ
โWe know what you are.โย ๎ขe patrolman li๎s his crossbow. Another grabs the boyโs arm.
Tessa gasps. Forrest screams. โNo! Da! Help me!โ
I burst from our hiding place. โStop!โ I shout. โStop!โ
One of the patrolmen looks my way, but the other doesnโt hesitate. He pulls the trigger on his crossbow. I leap for the boy.
Forrest falls when I slam into him, and for a moment, Iโm worried that Iโve been too late, that Iโve just tackled a corpse. But my arm burns likeย re, and Forrest is gasping against the underbrush.
I ignore the pain in my arm and spring to my feet, only toย nd a crossbow leveled at my chest. โGood,โ grunts the patrolman. โIโll get a bonus for catching two of you.โ
๎ขen he pulls the trigger.
